Finally! By finally, I mean I finally ordered this book after three tries (It’s too tricky to explain).
Fangirl was an entire experience, I loved every bit of it. Is it weird that I kind of became very engrossed in the fanfiction Cath was writing even though we only ever got little excerpts? Yeah, I didn’t think so. That’s completely normal.
Fangirl follows the story of Cath, a socially inept 18-year-old who has just started her first year at university. Cath has a twin called Wren and can I just say, Cather and Wren? Brilliant. I don’t know why but I smile like a Cheshire cat every time I think of the fact that these two girls are actually sharing one name. Wren wants to be independent and suggests that they both live in different dorms as they have shared the same bedroom for the past 18 years of their life. And although, this makes her anxiously, Cath reluctantly agrees with an intention of keeping her head down all year but unbeknownst to her, her roommate and her “boyfriend” as well as her fiction writing course have other plans for her (nothing pervvy so get your head out of the gutter). I feel compelled to mention at this point that Cath also writes Fanfiction based on the Simon Snow series and is insanely good at her, hence, the looming question at the end of the book; Does she kill Baz off at the end of Carry on, Simon?
Okay, I’m gushing and I can feel this getting away from me so I’m gonna try and gain some sort of structure even though I’m midway through. Now I know I say this about a lot of books but this book resonated with me, it detailed what it means to be a fangirl without being melodramatic about it all. It addresses worries that every fangirl/boy faces in their life which is does anyone ever outgrow being in a fandom or writing fanfiction? If I had chosen to judge this book by its cover then I’d have been royally screwed and wrong to do that because it is anything but. Although, the premise was not predominantly melancholic, it had a melancholic feel to it whether it was in the form of Cath and Wren drifting apart and Cath never feeling like she fit in and constant self-doubt to Art having a mental breakdown to Laura showing up in their lives again. Rowell is able to provide an astute analysis of the painful realities that life presents.
I loved each and every single character within this book except Nick. I didn’t trust him from the very beginning; and I was right, he was a sneaky slimy snake. Not since Charlie Kelmekis in Perks of being a wallflower have I read a more accurate portrayal of an introvert in a piece of literature than in this novel with Cath Avery. Rowell is able to capture every anxious moment of Cath’s and occasionally bring some hilarity into it (like the fact that she didn’t find the refectory till a month after she had started university or the fact that smiles confused her). We are able to see Cath get through all the hardships she faces in this book despite the fact that she occasionally feels she is not strong enough to; from finally getting over Abel (even though he was just an endtable) to surviving Nick’s betrayal to dealing with her dad’s mental break and her mother’s return to their lives. We see Cath fall in love for the first time, we see Cath reconcile with her sister and we know Cath writes an award winning short story even though it took her two semesters. It’s all very magical to say the least. Even at the book, you’re still rooting for Cath because how can you not? I like to think this is because we all have a piece of Cath is us even though we may not actually know it.
Alright, I let it get away from me again for a minute. Here we go; I loved the supporting characters just as much as I loved Cath. I loved Levi because he was a deviation from all the other love interests I’ve read in other books; He was a smiley uncomplicated farm boy who did not enjoy reading but liked it when Cath read to him and I did not know this was something I liked till I read it. I loved that he never made fun of Cath for her love of fanfiction but instead became quite immersed in it himself. I loved how supportive he was of her from the very beginning. Their relationship was exactly what an emotionally healthy person would visualise their first meaningful relationship to be; something you didn’t see coming until it swept you off your feet (in a good way), it was gradual and magical and swayed away from the stereotypical melodrama that comes with fictional relationships and that was really refreshing. I loved Reagan and her no-nonsense attitude. Her honesty throughout the book was a pleasure to read. The fact that she was supportive of Levi and Cath’s relationship showed a level of maturity that I admire. I didn’t like Wren at first because I didn’t understand the logic behind wanting to be separated from your twin ever. If I had a twin, it would mean I never had to make friends because I would always be in with her and quite frankly that would be enough but over the course of the book, I understood that Wren needed to be independent of Cath to realise that she did in fact need Cath more than anyone else in the world. Sidebar: I can’t be the only one who got ridiculously ecstatic finding out that despite the fact that they didn’t speak to each other for months, Wren still read Cath’s daily installments of Carry On, Simon.
Overall, this book was a pleasant read. It was witty and funny and heart-breaking and joyful in all the right places. It was in no way melodramatic. The characters were a joy to read and people you wish you had to get you through this tumultuous journey we call life. Fangirl was a coming of age story that everyone needs to read. It highlights the fact that even though growing up is scary, it’s also inevitable. Due to the fact that we never stop growing up, we get to hold on to our certain parts of our adolescence for as long as we want as clearly illustrated in Cath’s ability to finally start writing her short story without having to give up her love for fanfiction.
Favourite Excerpts within the book.
-“You’ve got Simon Snow heads on your desk” Reagan said.
“Those are commemorative busts.”
“I feel sorry for you and I’m going to be your friend.”
“I don’t want to be your friend” Cath said sternly as she could. “I like that we’re not friends.”
“Me too” Reagan said “I’m sorry you ruined it by being so pathetic.”
-“Happily ever after, or even just together ever after, is not cheesy,” Wren said. “It’s the noblest, like, the most courageous thing two people can shoot for.”
-“No,“ Cath said, “Seriously. Look at you. You’ve got your shit together, you’re not scared of anything. I’m scared of everything. And I’m crazy. Like maybe you think I’m a little crazy, but I only ever let people see the tip of my crazy iceberg. Underneath this veneer of slightly crazy and socially inept, I’m a complete disaster.” Never have I read a more relatable quote in my entire life.
-“It’s okay if you’re crazy,” he said softly.
“You don’t even know-”
“I don’t have to know,” he said. “I’m rooting for you.”
-“Smiling is confusing, she thought. This is why I don’t do it.”
-“I always get lost in the library,’ he said, ‘no matter how many times I go. In fact, I think I get lost there more, the more that I go. Like it’s getting to know me and revealing new passages.”
-“Why do we write fiction?” Professor Piper asked.
Cath looked down at her notebook.
To disappear.”
-“Reading is not lonely.”
-“If we stop to apologize and forgive each other every time we step on each other’s toes, we’ll never have time to be friends.”
-“Do you think I absorbed all the impact? That when Mom left, it hit my side of the car? Fuck that, Wren. She left you, too.“
"But it didn’t break me. Nothing can break me unless I let it.”
“Do you think Dad let it? Do you think he chose to fall apart when she left?”
“Yes!” Wren was shouting now. “And I think he keeps choosing. I think you both do. You’d rather be broken than move on.”
That did it. Now they were both crying, both shouting. Nobody wins until nobody wins, Cath thought. She turned back to the stove where the eggs had started to smoke. “Dad’s sick, wren.” She said as calmly as she could manage. She scraped the omelette out of the pan and dropped it onto the plate. “And your omelette is burnt. And I’d rather be broken than wasted. She set the omelette on the counter.
“You can tell Laura to go fuck herself. Like to infinity and beyond. She doesn’t get to move on with me. Ever.”
-“I’ve been a jerk to you” Wren whispered into the table
“I’ve been a jerk back.”
“That’s true,” Wren said “but…..God,, will you forgive me?”
“No.” Cath said
Wren looked up pathetically.
“I don’t have to forgive you,” Cath said. “It’s not like that with you. You’re just in with me. Always. No matter what happens”