It's that time of year again, when the vast majority of the nation engage in momentary insanity over the arrangement of numbers, and the most divisive and outdated example of the pomp and ceremony of Britain is on display, the New Years Honours. That wonderful time in our wonderful 'democracy' when an unelected house of Lords and ultimately, an unelected head of state go about maintaining class division in an easy to understand, fool proof system of acronyms.
I was disappointed to see part-time Mod, and Jules Ferry lookalike Bradley Wiggins accept his award. For reasons unknown to myself, I felt convinced he would join an esteemed list of individuals that declined their honours, including, among many: David Bowie, Michael Faraday, Stephen Hawking, Keith Richards, Francis Crick, Alan Bennet, George Bernard Shaw, John Cleese, Alan Rickman, Paul Weller, and most recently, this year, Danny Boyle, who, after the Olympics Opening Ceremony, was a shoe-in to be made a 'Sir' but summed up his rejection perfectly when he said "I’m very proud to be an equal citizen and I think that’s what the Opening Ceremony was actually about,"
There has been a lot of commotion, now, as we bask in the glory of our 'Golden Summer' over the discrepancy between awards dished out for able-bodied athletes and paralympians. Now, disregarding the fact that a solid gold fucking medal is more than enough reward for running round a circle pretty fast, or chucking that thing quite far, at least relative to how far that other guy could chuck it. It amazes me that, in a year that has seen the NHS Bill - goodbye comprehensive healthcare, hello private insurers, and the Welfare Reform Bill – a systematic attack on the weak and the poor due to their inability fight back, that this is what people are outraged about! Paralympians, I dare say, should be more concerned with the slashing of disability benefits that will affect tens of thousands of disabled people all over the country, rather than what level of decoration from our high priestess they receive.
Anyone who believes that this is an honest assessment of achievement, need only look at, the now Sir, Hector Sants. The former chief executive of the FSA and the very man asleep at the wheel during the Northern Rock collapse, who has been knighted, presumably for his services to the concept of abject failure. Another newly crowned 'Sir' Michael Heller, knighted for.....em....services to.... what was it again......oh yeah, for donating over £100,000 to the Conservative Party. Just like Terry Brammall, £60,000 to the Tories, CBE, Johanna Waterous, £4,000 to the Tories, CBE, and Tom Pidgley, £2,000, to the Tories, CBE (you could've saved yourself £58,000 there Dr Brammall). Its like a Top Gear special, 'Can you buy an order of merit from the British Empire for less than a 2nd hand Ford Mondeo'. Well it turns out, yes, you can.
The Honours system is not about rewarding people, or an acknowledgement of great achievements in public life, it is about elitists, maintaining the class system and separating us lowly plebs from our natural betters. So, Sir Bradley, when you take that knee, and Her Majesty lowers her sword onto you shoulders, remember, that’s the same sword that 'honoured' Jimmy Saville for his services to children.
