#bro talks

[tittylover26]

My brother can't compliment men without apologizing to Jeff Satur.

We are currently watching "Never Let Me Go" and he just went:

Brother: "Why is Palm's actor kinda fine? I'm so sorry Jeff Satur"

Me: "Yeah, he is, but like, why would you apologize to Jeff Satur"

Brother: "What do you mean why? It's obviously a crime to say someone else looks good when a masterpiece like Jeff Satur exits"

[badlydrawn-brostrider]

==> BRO: Dream.

. . .

[ You feel arms around your neck and see your brothers blood in your hands. ]

[ You think you might have knocked something over in your flailing. You can't hear over the sound of your heavy, gasping breaths. ]

( @badlydrawn-alphadave :tism: )

[jesswithane]

*my brother and I in the backseat of a car*

Bro: you know what else was fucked up in Encanto?

Me, taking off earbuds: yeah?

Bro: Bruno's little plate. That was fucked up [meaning really sad]

Me: yeah, it was.

Bro: mk...*goes back to insta*

[hoffkk]

Jordan Knows

Deception Drabble

Requested by: Anon

Prompt requested: Jordan finding out that Cameron is in love with Kay

********

It was half past ten, and Cameron was still in his day clothes, tinkering at a work table in the annex.  A dream from the previous night had inspired a new illusion, and he was trying to make it come to life.  Not the most exciting night for Cameron, but there wasn't much else to do with everyone else having plans.  Gunter was out of town, Mike and Dina were on a date, Jordan went to dinner with his parents, and Kay was at a work function of some sort.  Yep, it was just Cameron and his toys.

A few minutes later, he heard the front door and then footsteps.  As soon as the steps stopped, Cameron smirked and (without turning around) said, "Hey, Jordy."

"You have got to tell me how you do that!" Jordan whined from behind him.

Rotating to face him, Cam made the screw in his hand disappear with a flourish and responded, "Magic." That was always his answer, much to Jordan's dismay, who rolled his eyes in retort as per usual.   "So, how was dinner?" He added after a moment.

"Good... other than the fact that I had to wear this monkey suit."  Jordan informed him as he loosened the knot in his tie and walked closer.  He liked supporting his parents and their charity just fine, but he hated the formal dress for their events.  It was suffocating.

"C'mon, I bet the ladies were all over you."  Cameron commented as he went back to fiddling with his supplies.

"Eh, there weren't really any in my age range worth looking at." Jordan replied, draping his undone bowtie over the top of a nearby chair.  He did the same with his jacket as he added, "Kay looked hot though."

"Kay was there?" Cam asked curiously, pausing his work for a second.

"Yeah, I think she was on date." He answered casually.

"A date?  With who?"  He probed, going back to his work and feigning coolness.

"Dmitri... something or other."  Jordan responded, then thought for a minute.  "He's a surgeon at one of the local hospitals."

"A doctor."  Cameron said to himself sarcastically.  "Doctor Dmitri.  Sounds so like someone from a soap opera."

Overhearing his comment, Jordan noted, "He's attractive enough to be on one, that's for sure.  He's just got amazing bone structure and a well toned physique from what his suit revealed.  Not that I was looking or am into that sort of thing..." Realizing he wasn't helping himself, Jordan quickly changed topics.  "Did I mention Kay looked hot?  She wore this dark red backless dress that was totally giving off Jessica Rabbit vibes."

Cam couldn't help but smile as he pictured her all dolled up like that.  Suddenly, he felt a weird sensation swirl in his stomach.  Ignoring it, he continued on with the conversation. "So did she seem into this guy?"

"Hard to say," Jordan said truthfully.  "but he was definitely into her."

"Of course he was."  Cameron muttered in an annoyed tone as the feeling in his stomach suddenly turned sour.

"Seriously, " Jordan went on as he plopped down in his clothes covered chair.  "He was using every excuse in the book to touch her and the looks he gave her... well, the dude was basically undressing her with his eyes all night."

Cam grunted his distaste. This Dr. Dmitri guy was sounding more like Dr. Dickhead.  He clearly wasn't good enough for Kay.  He probably couldn't even do a magic trick.

"I'm just saying," Jordan droned on.   "If Kay wants it, she's totally getting laid tonight."

At that comment, Cameron snapped... literally.  The small piece of plastic piping he was working with snapped in half, flinging the screw he had inserted into the wall. Unfortunately for Cam, the close vicinity of the wall made the screw ricochet and smack him square in the forehead.  He immediately dropped the remnants of pipe from his palms, gripped his head, and mumbled a string of expletives.

"Oh, shit." Jordan said with a chuckle as he rose to his feet.  "You okay, man?"

"I'm fine." Cam grumbled, rubbing the sore spot above his right eye that was definitely going to bruise later.

"What happened?" Jordan wondered aloud, finally realizing just how irritated his friend was at the moment.  "Was it something I said?"

Cameron didn't dignify that with an answer.  Usually, he found a comment like that from Jordan to be funny.  This time it just sounded crass... and he knew exactly why. Disappointingly, Jordan took his silence as a cue to go on.

"All I did was mention seeing Kay... and how hot she was... and how hot her date was... and how he couldn't keeps his hands-- Oh! Dude!" Jordan interrupted himself when it all clicked together.  "You totally like her!"

"What? No."  Cam dismissed casually.

"So, how much we talking exactly?" Jordan probed.  "Like, on a scale of 'I'll water your plants' to 'I wanna have your babies' where would you say you fall?"

"I'm not into Kay." He tried again.

"Do you love her?" His friend went on relentlessly.

"No!" Cam all but shouted.

"Dude, this is amazeballs!"  Jordan replied, more excited than a kid on Christmas morning.  "I can't wait to tell Gunter!" Then, with a quick pat on the back, he grabbed his stuff and headed back out the way he came.

Cameron just blinked as he watched him leave, then shook his head in bewilderment as he said to himself, "Why do I even talk?"

[korrasamay]

Seychelle Gabriel's IG (x) 9/14/17

👀👀👀👀

[hypotheticallyhaunted]

Finding about Thor.

Okay, so this happened this morning. Both me and my brother were on our phones, he’s watching a TV show and I’m on Tumblr. Suddenly he turns to me and goes “Hey,google which Gods day is Wednesday ?” I’m like “Sure, whcih mythology ?

Brother : ??? What do you mean ? Me : I mean the gods of which mythology ? Indian, Greek, Roman ? Brother : American mythology. Me : Umm.. American mythology doesn’t have different gods. I’m not sure there’s even an American mythology. Brother : You’re no use to me.

So I get back to my phone. And hour later he comes to me and says “ I found it, Wednesday is Odin’s day.”

Me: *with an eyeroll* Odin is from Norse mythology idiot.   Brother : Yeah, that’s from America right ? Me : Norse mythology is from Scandinavia in Europe. Brother : *quietly and kinda shocked* Thor’s not American ?????   

And that’s the story of how my brother came to know that Thor’s not American

[lakewoodsixers2017]

Rude

[lumieres-art]

Apparently the sun's gonna explode in 5 hours