seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from China
seen from China
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Singapore
seen from France
seen from United States
seen from India
seen from United States
The gang is asked what they would do with 5 children with only 3 chairs. Sam: Get two more chairs! Brok: They can get their own chairs. GLaDOS: Make them fight for it. Max: You only need one chair to beat them all with. Ash: I would never be near children. Claptrap: Kill two.
GLaDOS: Oh. My apologies. It’s a knee jerk response. Brok, holding Claptrap's very dented body: WHOSE KNEE JERK RESPONSE IS TO START THROWING BRICKS AT SOMEONE??? AND YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE KNEES!!!
The Group is at Claptrap’s house, coming together to make pies after a long game of Texas Hold ‘Em Sam: Ohhhh we each get our own oven? Claptrap: …N-No… Claptrap, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have??? Sam, motioning to the kitchen: Three, I thought! Brok: I see a- Claptrap, motioning to one device: This is a microwave. Sam: Oh, well I- Claptrap: Hey, wait wait, actually- hang on- fiddles with the buttons on the microwave Claptrap, amazed: Its got a bake setting! Ash: Ohoho, you learn something new every day! Max: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first? Claptrap: Now I’ve discovered more ovens than I thought, we don’t have to roshambo nothin’! Claptrap: I am someone who owns four ovens… Claptrap, louder and way too happy: I am someone… who owns FOUR OVENS… GLaDOS, motioning to another appliance: This appliance here too seems to also be a subset of an oven, commonly called a toaster oven— Claptrap: Sam: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens! Claptrap: Claptrap, ecstatic: I AM A CLAPTRAP UNIT WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS!
Brok, watching the group’s shenanigans (they’re throwing bottles into the air and shooting them blindfolded) with concern: Do you feel like this has gotten out of hand? GLaDOS: No. Feels normal enough for a group that's on 911's blocked callers list.
Claptrap: If you put a milkshake in one yard and crack open a cold one in another yard, which yard would the boys go to? Sam: Schrödinger's boys. Brok: FUCK! Ash: What about cracking open a cold milkshake? GLaDOS: As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. GLaDOS: All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison. Claptrap: … Sam: … Brok: … Ash: … GLaDOS: Mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town.
Brok: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me? Ash: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it. Claptrap: Three of us saw it, Ash. How do you explain that? Ash: points at Sam Sleep deprivation. points at Claptrap Narcissistic tendencies. points at Max Delusional personality disorder.
Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker GLaDOS: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know. Everyone: Sam: …I did. I broke it. GLaDOS: No. No you didn't. Ash? Ash: Don't look at me. Look at Max. Max: What?! I didn't break it. Ash: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken? Max: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken. Ash: Suspicious. Max: No, it's not! Ash: If it matters, probably not, but Claptrap was the last one to use it. Claptrap: Liar! I don't even drink that crap! Ash: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier? Claptrap: I use the wooden stirrers to get the dirt out of my sensors. Everyone knows that, Ash! Sam: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, GLaDOS. GLaDOS: No! Who broke it!? Everyone: Ash: GLaDOS, if it means anything… Brok been awfully quiet. Brok: rEALLY?! Everyone starts arguing GLaDOS, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned one of my wires so I punched it. GLaDOS: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. GLaDOS: GLaDOS: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
Claptrap: Fine! Judge all you want but… Claptrap, points at Brok: Married a lesbian. Claptrap, points at GLaDOS: Left a man at the altar. Claptrap, points at Ash: Fell in love with a gay ice dancer. Claptrap, points at Sam: Threw a girl’s wooden leg in a fire. Claptrap, points at Max: Lives in a box!
