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@incorrectpokernight2
♥️♣️Hello Player♠️♦️
This is an incorrect quotes blog from Poker Night 2! It might go dead after a while if i run out of quotes, but you can suggest quotes or submit them! This blog is run by @knowone08b , and if you have any questions, ask me on my main blog!
*After Ash makes the dumbest play of the game*
Sam: Ash, I love you. You're like a brother to me. And because you're like a brother to me, I have no problem saying what I am about to say. You're an idiot.
Ash: *Laughing*
Brock: Because you're my ancestor thanks to time travel, I will have no problems slapping your upside the f**king head once this game is over.
🃏
The gang is asked what they would do with 5 children with only 3 chairs. Sam: Get two more chairs! Brok: They can get their own chairs. GLaDOS: Make them fight for it. Max: You only need one chair to beat them all with. Ash: I would never be near children. Claptrap: Kill two.
OP, you've never watched Ash vs Evil Dead and it SHOWS
Clearly never read the comics either since he gets a demon baby dropped in his lap and adopts that thing in five seconds flat.
GLaDOS: And if you have any suggestions, please put them in the suggestion box. Ash: That’s a trash can.
at a zoo Claptrap: What are they in for? GLaDOS: Claptrap, this isn't prison. Claptrap: So they can leave? GLaDOS: No, but- Claptrap, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.
Max: Ah, Hello again. We really need to stop meeting like this. Brock: Maybe we would, if you would sTOP BREAKING INTO MY FUCKING HOUSE!!!
GLaDOS: Can you be serious for five minutes? Claptrap: My record is four, but I think I can do it.
Sam: I thought you were going to give me a book recommendation or something. Claptrap: laughs Book recommendation? I can’t read!
Claptrap: Reverse tooth fairy where you leave money under your pillow and the tooth fairy comes and leaves you a bunch of teeth. Ash: Why? Claptrap, shaking a bag of teeth: Just because.
GLaDOS: Stop thinking whatever you're thinking. Claptrap: Huh? GLaDOS: You always make that face when you're about to say something stupid just to piss me off. So cut it out- Claptrap: I love you. GLaDOS: Claptrap: Claptrap: Also, cereal qualifies as a soup. GLaDOS: I KNEW IT—
Sam: …My man Max just killed a goldfish. Max: licking his lips Yup. Delicious.
Brok: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me? Ash: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it. Claptrap: Three of us saw it, Ash. How do you explain that? Ash: points at Sam Sleep deprivation. points at Claptrap Narcissistic tendencies. points at Max Delusional personality disorder.
GLaDOS: Look, last night was a mistake. Claptrap: A sexy mistake. GLaDOS: No, just a regular mistake.
The gang is asked what they would do with 5 children with only 3 chairs. Sam: Get two more chairs! Brok: They can get their own chairs. GLaDOS: Make them fight for it. Max: You only need one chair to beat them all with. Ash: I would never be near children. Claptrap: Kill two.
Max: Do you want to play 20 Questions? Sam: Sure! Sam: Whats your favorite color? Max, laser fucking focused: Triangle. Do you like men?
Claptrap: If you want my advice- Sam: No offense but you’re the last person I want relationship advice from. You tried to kill GLaDOs. Multiple times. Claptrap: First off, that was before we started dating. Secondly, she’s also tried to kill me. GLaDOS: It’s true. It was mutually attempted murder. Except one was more successful than the other.
Brok, watching the group’s shenanigans (they’re throwing bottles into the air and shooting them blindfolded) with concern: Do you feel like this has gotten out of hand? GLaDOS: No. Feels normal enough for a group that's on 911's blocked callers list.
