I love my mother, but I don't like her.
I wish I had done it,
I wish we were best friends.
But that's not us. Her words cut like a knife, I drown in her expectations.
I was never a perfect daughter, but I tried.
I tried and tried until I couldn't anymore.
I had to decide for myself.
I had to get out.
She says she loves me but she despises me.
And I'm slowly realizing that the contempt has grown and continues to grow over the years.
We hardly exchange a word with each other anymore and when we do, they are cold and dismissive.
I mean, where were you last year when I lost my baby?
My aunt!! called you and told you I need my mom right now!!!
But you weren't even remotely interested!!
In the end it was my aunt, uncle and cousins who picked me up again and did everything they could to ensure that I didn't completely isolate myself and withdraw again!!!
Sometimes I really wish that my aunt had fulfilled my wish and adopted me, there's no reason a child doesn't ask his aunt something like that!!
