#brokenhome

[omarkamhar]

Aku ingin punya kekuatan lebih, untuk membuat rumah terasa lebih seperti rumah. Bukan hanya sekedar tempat untuk melepas kantuk dan membersihkan diri saja.

Tapi apakah mungkin jika kulakukan sendirian?

Jh

[shameful-self]

I always love writing, it gave something, but I stopped because nothing had sense anymore. I've been quiet, I've lived in constant fear of my head, constant fear of my anger, fear to finally accept what happened to me. I lived with a monster, a monster that gave me life, that I call mother. Always afraid to come home I was out, getting wasted, getting high because it was the only way to deal with myself. The only way others could really see me, numbed by alcohol and drugs.

Now, now I'm 23 and i breath and wonder everyday why I should accept what I lived, I want to be angry, to scream and cry but I can't. And this doesn't have sense, it really doesn't have sense but I think that it just demonstrate that even from blood we can grow, even from broken we can still be something, something that doesn't make sense but still something beautiful.

We should be angry, fuck healing, fuck understanding, I was a kid I didn't deserve any of it and still it happened, and I shouldn't feel like I need to forgive, I need to heal, I don't need that I need justice and I will have it screaming and kicking.

Fuck healing, stay angry from now on.

Own your anger, own yourself like a fucking lion going out hunting.

[sasaun]

Perempuan, Air dan Peradaban

@unisyunisasposts

Air membentuk peradaban

Air Penopang peradaban

Air kebutuhan pokok manusia

Wanita bagaikan air

"Membentuk peradaban, menopang peradaban"

-Abu Bassam

[mentarisore]

Tidak ada harap yang harus lagi digarap, semuanya sirna karena lara.

aromaahujann

[strawberrybalabala]

Alone.

Its been 13 years since the storm came to my life. 

Its been 7 years since he passed away. 

But the pain’s still there

Gue selalu bertanya-tanya “kenapa susah banget memaafkan masa lalu dan move on?”. Gue ngerasa hidup gue stuck disana. Gue masih sering berandai-andai “seandainya begini, seandainya begitu”. Gue masih suka mempertanyakan “how does it feel to have a father?”. Kalian yang juga diberkahi kayak gue gini apa udah bisa memaafkan masa lalu? Kalo iya, gimana caranya? Please tell me.

Semakin gue dewasa hal ini semakin berat. Gue terus berpikir “adakah yang mau nerima gue apa adanya? Nerima gue, keluarga gue dan masa lalu gue?”. Gue kenal satu orang yang ditolak calon mertua karena keluarganya broken, dia sepupu gue. Dan karena kejadian itu bikin rasa insecure gue semakin parah. A good man loves his mother so much, when his mother rejected u become her daughter-in-law, what should your man do? Ofcourse he will choose his mother. In the end, its u and still u being alone with your broken heart all over again. 

[apucuddle]

Tentang sebuah kejadian kejam

Dunia mu terisi oleh sesuatu yang menyesakan, memang tidak selalu begitu aku tahu. 

Tiap pagi kau berkata dunia menyenangkan berperan seolah dirimu si manusia bahagia hidup tanpa beban apapun 

Sangat sakit dan sulit kau bilang dalam benak mu tiap gelap malam

Semua derita terdalam mu kau sembunyikan bahkan kau anggap tiada jika manusia lain bertanya

Kejam sekali dirimu pada diri sendiri menurutku 

Tapi semua memang pilihan setiap individu manusia

Menurutku kau kuat

Terimakasih ya semua individu kuat dimuka bumi ini kalian hebat!

-Seorangmanusia

Bandung, 15 maret 2021

[j-unipe-r]

& everything was blue but nothing hurt . 🛋

[longlustfriend]

" Revealing weaknesses to the world is like killing yourself twice, and I hate that. "