I spend a great deal of time trying to find someone. The problem? I found someone. And in the beginning? It was great. I was falling for this guy who was absolutely amazing. Now? I can never figure out where I stand with him. Well, he turned out to be involved with someone else. Don't they always? But did it stop me? For some time. I think for a month. And then he popped up. Out of nowhere. I kept finding him. He haunts me, you see. This beautiful boy haunts me. I can't get him out of my head. And every time we say bye or I fall asleep, I promise myself that it won't happen again. I promise myself that I'm walking away. And it's so exhausting. To keep fighting this. Us. Whatever. I see him in strangers on the street. That month? Was hell. And it's not because I can't have him. Honestly. Because if I could have him? Yes. Every single fucking day. He's my always. He's my forever. He's the moon of my life. Because he only comes out in the middle of the night. But he brightens me like no other. He lights up my entire dark sky. See? It's worse then crack. Or heroin. It's so much worse. He's addicting. And I can't quit him. But honestly? I don't ever want to. But I'm just so very tired.