A Slight Cake
(Lights up on the offices of the Oxford Urban Dictionary. Three linguists, Larry, Curly, and Sue-Bob, are hotly debating the latest entry.)
Larry: This is just unacceptable to our standards.
Curly: Is it?
Larry: It isn’t!
Sue-Bob: It doesn’t matter if it’s up to our standards. What matters is that it’s a widely-used word. It’s our job to account for a definition.
Larry: This word is undefinable.
Curly: Don’t be so butthurt.
Larry: I don’t even know what that means!
Sue-Bob: Well, we just have to keep using it until we figure out a definition.
Larry: I am not butthurt! “Butthurt” is not a thing!
Curly: The people have spoken and butthurt IS a thing.
Sue-Bob: Butthurt: The state of one’s butt being emotionally injured.
Larry: How would emotional injury affect your butt?
Sue-Bob: It’s a METAPHOR.
Larry: A metaphor for what?!
Sue-Bob: Don’t make me show you the pictures of distended anuses again.
Larry: I TOLD you, we cannot put those in the dictionary!
Curly: I think it’s important for our readers to have visual aids.
Larry: These pictures will give them visual AIDS.
Sue-Bob: Larry, we already told you visual AIDS is not a disease. Or anything for that matter.
Larry: Visual AIDS: The disorder one contracts upon viewing absolute drek, especially in dictionaries. Page 9842. We did this yesterday.
Sue-Bob: We let you have that one Larry. Please just let us put butthurt in.
Larry: I’m afraid until you provide me with a concrete example of “butthurt” I can’t comply.
Curly: Well you’re being pretty butthurt about the word butthurt being in our dictionary.
Larry: A non-recursive example!
Sue-Bob: I don’t even know what that means.
Larry: You can’t use a word in its own definition.
Curly: That wasn’t the definition. I was providing you with an example.
Larry: But the word butthurt is in the example!
Curly: Right. It’s an example within an example.
Larry: We need to go deeper than that!
Sue-Bob: Shut the fuck up, both of you. Butthurt: The process of making a dictionary.
(Pause.)
Larry: Okay, I’ll go with that one.
Curly: Thank god.
Sue-Bob: Next up: Broolicious.
(Blackout.)
butthurt (adj.). The process of making a dictionary. Ex: Larry was predictably butthurt about including the word butthurt in his dictionary.