#brotp:stris

[existential-bisis]

Chris, sliding a photo across the table: I need you to stab this person in the leg.

Street, picking it up:... This is a picture of you?

Chris: Tan wants us to try Zumba.

[existential-bisis]

Chris and Street describing their friendship: We’re two halves of a whole idiot!

[existential-bisis]

Street: *Enters, pacing*

Chris: No no, come on in.

Street: I can’t believe he showed up at my apartment!

Chris: Not like I’m doing anything.

Street: I mean we just had a seminar on proper workplace interactions last week!

Chris: I’m really busy right now Street.

Street: Oh. Oh I’m sorry. So you don’t want to hear about how Hondo showed up at my apartment in the middle of the night while I was enjoying a post-coital shower with Tan?

Chris:

Chris: Please, sit.

[existential-bisis]

Chris: Who hurt you?

Street, sarcastically: Do you want a list?

Chris, getting out a pen: Actually yes.

[existential-bisis]

Street: You know, don’t take this the wrong way, but I feel like you’ve become a lot more fun since I’ve known you.

Chris: Thanks. And if I might return the compliment, I think you’ve become marginally less irritating.

[existential-bisis]

Chris: This was a mistake.

Street: A mistake we’re gonna laugh about some day.

Chris: But not today.

Street: Oh no, today’s gonna be a mess.

[existential-bisis]

Street: Hey can I have a sip of your water?

Chris: It’s not water.

Street: Vodka huh? I like your style-

Chris: It’s vinegar.

Street: wait, what?

Chris: It’s vinegar, PUSSY!