(Select) Notes from the Field: Brunchcon 2017
I’m almost upset that I won these tickets. I halfheartedly entered the contest online, as part of my “Say ‘YES’ to Things You Wouldn’t Usually” and “Give Out More Personal Information on the Internet” campaigns. I don’t like brunch and I don’t like large packs of people who like brunch.
I receive confirmation of my boon at 1:00AM on Friday night. I call Elvid to ship our options.
“Saturday at 9:00AM for VIP, or Sunday at 1:00PM for General.”
“Uggggghhhhh. I’ll see you in a couple hours.”
Expectations are low. The venue, the Reef, is the same place where we attended that empty marketing event in October.
We’re in a holding chamber with other Blonde Ladies and Gay Guys. A group of girlfriends are wearing t-shirts with “Brunch Bitches” bedazzled across their chests. As a joke, I’ve also worn my Sunday best (eye make-up, sundress, jangly gold jewelry). I’m blending in.
After three mimosas in the waiting room...
Like a pack of wild animals escaping captivity, we burst into the main event space. Local vendors are lined up around the perimeter, each offering samples of their breakfast specialties. There are MULTIPLE bottomless mimosa bars. And, since it’s 9 AM on a Saturday in LA, there’s barely anyone here. Elvid and I get toasted immediately.
We bounce from booth to booth, seeking out savory food. Everything tastes great EXCEPT for a tiny cheesecake made with chorizo and Fruity Pebbles. It is one of the worst things I have ever eaten. I look for rice and egg as a palate cleanser. I think we find French toast? (Elvid: “Blech. French.”)
We kill time and sober up by playing the neglected lawn games in the middle of the room. Whatever, hipsters. Cornhole rocks! The day ends with a visit to the photo booth. We head home--dizzy, sleepy and happy.
I showed up to make fun of people who brunch. Then, I became one.
