Alright, here is chapter 2 of the fic. Angst, angst, angst, sorry guys. But it will get better, I promise :). One more chapter to go after this one. I am tagging this one for @blindspothiatusproject prompt list B, namely the prompt “Dad?”
If you’d rather read this on FFN, the link is here.
Thanks again to @take2intotheshower, @indelibleevidence and @i-am-out-of-my-vulcan-mind listening to me ramble about this, and for helping me get through writer’s black when it hit. I glove you!
Darkest Before the Dawn, Chapter 2
Kurt howled in pain, as Jane peeled away the dressing covering the burns on his shoulder. She had tried to soak them, but they still stuck to his skin. It was their third day in the cabin and the second time she had had to dress them after the medic had left. She hated that she had to add to his agony. “I’m sorry. I have to do this.”
He nodded, his entire body rigid, waiting for the next lash of pain. “I know.” He inhaled a deep breath, preparing himself. “The sooner we get this done, the better.”
Another scream escaped him as Jane removed the last dressing. “That’s it, the worst part is done,” she reassured him. “Now I’ll put new dressings on.”
She did her best to hide her anxiety, as she reapplied the dressings. It seemed like the number of blisters on Kurt’s chest and in his side had grown since the medic had seen him. Some of large ones were almost two inches in diameter, and that worried her.
Kurt had closed his eyes, his breathing rapid and the distress plain to see.
After gingerly covering the burns again, Jane removed the gloves she was wearing and cleared away the empty dressing packets.
She couldn’t bear to watch Kurt suffer alone, desperately wanting to comfort him. She sat down on the bed again, and leaned against the headboard as she carefully pulled him into her arms. Kurt cried out at the movement.
Jane’s heart constricted at his torment. He let out a whimpering sound, leaning into her. “I know it hurts, my love. I know,” she murmured softly, stroking his hair. She held him in her embrace, but it seemed that even her presence couldn’t soothe the pain caused by the burns, his breaths short and strained against her chest. She moved so that she could look into his eyes. “Kurt,” she spoke as she caressed his cheek. “Do you want something stronger for the pain?”
His forehead was crunched, agony clear on his face as he looked at her. His eyes were shimmering with pain as he grunted a weak “Yeah” and closed his eyes again.
His subdued reply had made alarm bells go off in Jane’s head. Normally, he would try to soldier on through it, arguing that strong painkillers made him feel fuzzy. But now, he didn’t even try: the pain must be excruciating for him.
“Okay.” Jane kissed him and disentangled herself from their embrace, gently guiding him back onto the pillows. She walked over to the medical kit and pulled out the vial, pushing the syringe’s needle through the cap and measuring the dose of morphine the medic had told her.
Kurt let out another long, halting breath as she injected him with the analgesic. He was gripping the comforter so hard with his uninjured arm that his knuckles were white, and she could see a slight sheen of sweat on his forehead.
She sat down on the edge of the bed, soothingly running her hand up and down his good arm. His eyes met hers, the look in them distraught.
“Jane…”
“Shh…it’s okay. The drug will help, but you’ve got to give it a minute, okay?”
Seeing him like this was tearing her apart. He wore an anguished look, perspiration covering his face and chest, his body tense as a coiled spring from the pain of his injuries. It all made him look so vulnerable, and there was so little she could do. She wanted to take him to a hospital, to get his injuries treated properly, but the risk was too great.
She wished she could hold him and take all his pain away.
Still trapped in the throes of agony, Kurt gave a quiet moan.
Jane sat beside him, murmuring sweet nothings to him, running her hand through his hair, hoping to calm him. “Everything’s okay.”
She saw he was trying to fight the pain: he gripped her hand, and his breathing was shallow as he gritted his teeth against another groan that he barely suppressed.
A few minutes later the morphine thankfully took effect, his eyes glazing over and his look becoming bleary as he relaxed into the bed.
“Don’t fight it….Close your eyes,” she cajoled, her touches clearly soothing him now.
A couple of minutes later, his breathing deepened as his tired body succumbed to the need for rest.
She remained beside him, watching the slow rise and fall of his chest until she was sure he was sleeping soundly. “I’ll be right back,” she whispered, pressing her lips to his forehead before tenderly covering him with the duvet.
Closing the door quietly behind her, Jane walked to the large window and pinched the bridge of her nose, swallowing back the tears she could feel behind her eyelids. She had to stay strong.
“Hey,” she heard Patterson’s gentle voice from behind her and felt a hand brush against her shoulder.
“How’s Kurt?” Patterson asked, worry audible in her tone.
Jane released a shuddering breath before answering. ”He’s asleep. I just gave him a shot for the pain.”
“I’m sorry,” Patterson said quietly, her eyes carrying the same concern that Jane felt. She knew Patterson cared dearly for Kurt. “I know it must be hard for you to see him like that,” her friend said sympathetically.
Jane tried to smile at Patterson, but the smile soon faltered. “Yeah…But at least he’s alive.” She wiped away the moisture in her eyes, as she remembered those long minutes of dread when she feared the team had died. Her joy at discovering them alive had turned to worry as soon as she had discovered Kurt was injured.
“Oh Jane…” Patterson pulled her into a hug and she could no longer fight off the tears.
“I was so afraid I had lost you,” Jane got the words out among the crying.
“But you didn’t,” came her friend’s soft reply. “We’re all still here.”
After a minute Jane took a shuddering breath, pulling away from Patterson. “I’m sorry. It’s just that…“, she glanced at her feet and squeezed her hand into a fist, but her voice shook. “He’s in agony and I can’t do anything. I feel helpless!”
Patterson shook her head, squeezing Jane’s arm. “Jane, you don’t need to apologize. He’s your husband. Of course this is hard on you.”
She felt comforted by Patterson’s kind words, meeting her eyes. “Thank you.”
Patterson gave her a small smile. “Look, why don’t you try to get some sleep in the loft? I’ll keep an eye on Kurt, while I set up the laptop and wait for the others to come back.”
Jane was about to argue that she couldn’t leave him, but realized that she needed to sleep to be able to look after him. So, she nodded, smiling tiredly at her friend. “Okay, thanks.”
Kurt let out a quiet grunt as the flashing pain behind his eyelids brought him back to wakefulness. Half-asleep, he had tried to turn on his side, but his broken ribs reminded him of their existence. Sinking back onto the pillows, he opened his eyes and blinked a few times. The ache in his ribs was duller now as he stayed still, but the burns gave him no respite despite the pills Jane had given him earlier. His upper arm and chest felt like someone had taken a cheese grater to his skin and rubbed off a few layers.
He reached over with his right hand, hissing as he pulled the medical tape and lifted the corner of the dressing carefully. The burns were angry and red. Some of the blisters on his skin were taut like tiny water balloons, others were weeping. He swore he could feel them pulsing with the beat of his heart.
He smoothed the tape back onto his skin and had just closed his eyes, when the door creaked quietly. He opened his eyes to see Jane enter the bedroom, carrying a glass of water.
The loving smile that she gave him absolutely floored him. God, he loved her so much.
“Hey, you’re awake.”
She set the glass on the bedside table and sat next to him on the edge of the bed.
He gave her a tired smile in return, reaching for her hand. “Yeah.”
“How’re you feeling?”
Despite his pain and tiredness, he hoped to reassure Jane. Looking at her more closely, he could see the strain the last few days had had on her. Her shoulders were squared and tense; lines of worry adorned her forehead and her eyes were red from the lack of sleep.
He gazed at her, his thumb stroking the back of her hand. “I’m okay, Jane.”
She gave a sad laugh. “No, you’re not. I can tell you’re still in pain.”
Almost as if to prove her point, the searing sensation licked up his side like the fire that had burned him as he shifted, earning a half-suppressed gasp from him. He chuckled at the irony. “Well…better than a couple of days ago.”
He saw the mix of concern and love cloud her eyes, as she pleaded, “Why won’t you take the morphine? You’re hurting.”
He shook his head slightly. “No. I can manage with the pills.”
Jane looked down at their joined hands, swallowing thickly. She kept her eyes locked on them, staying silent.
Now it was his turn to worry. “Jane…” he whispered tenderly.
When she looked up, her eyes were brimming with tears. “I thought I’d lost you…” she murmured.
“Jane, I’m –“ he began, but quieted as she shook her head softly.
Her voice was quiet. “For those 20 minutes after the cabin exploded, I searched through the rubble. Minute-by-minute the fear in me grew; the desperation. I thought I was alone, that you had been taken from me.”
Kurt wished he’d been healthy, so he could hug her and hold her close. Instead, he gave her hand a small squeeze to reassure her he was still here. “Jane, I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”
“I’m not blaming you, Kurt.” She brought her hand up to his jaw, tracing it gingerly. “When I saw Patterson emerge, and she told me you were alive…” A tear ran down her cheek and she drew in a shuddering breath. “You were alive, but you were hurt. And you still are…”
Mirroring her, Kurt brought his hand to her cheek and wiped away her tears. “I know.” He gave her a smile that he hoped would reassure her. “But I’m going to be okay. It might take a while, but I’ll be okay. Thanks to you.”
Kurt looked around. He was inside a house, the Shaw house by the looks of it. What was he doing in Clearfield? Frowning, he looked at the bookshelves in the living room, the old comfy chair and the TV in the corner….everything looked exactly like it had 30 years ago, when Taylor had been taken.
“Hello?” He listened for a reply, but no one answered him.
The floorboards creaked comfortingly as he stepped into the hall. He’d missed that sound. It reminded him of the fun times spent together with Taylor as they played hide-and-seek indoors. He glanced outside the window. He could hear birds singing. Then, something else caught his attention.
Kurt heard a familiar babble coming from somewhere. He turned on his heels and climbed up the stairs, glancing at the family photos lining the wall. So many memories…
“Bee?” He called out, as the sound of his daughter’s voice became clearer. She was explaining something to someone.
“Here, Daddy!”
Glancing into Taylor’s room at the top of the stairs, he saw Bethany on the floor with a coloring book, a dozen crayons scattered around her. She was coloring something purple, her forehead creased in concentration.
Kurt entered the room and laughed, kneeling next to his daughter. “Hey! What’cha doing?”
“Coloring!” Came the enthusiastic reply.
He chuckled. “So I see. Shouldn’t the penguin be black and white?”
Kurt gave her an exaggerated frown, then smiled again. “Really?”
“Yeah!”
She reached out a chubby hand, offering him a yellow crayon. ”Here. You can color his friend.”
“Okay.” Kurt flopped down onto the floor next to Bethany, starting to color the dog according to her instructions.
He didn’t know how much time had passed, but he felt a chill run down his spine. He had an unexplained feeling of pressure in his chest, and the room had changed. The bed and the furniture were gone. There were only the two of them and the coloring book.
The room had gotten darker. That’s when he heard the voice.
“Bethany….”
Kurt was puzzled. It couldn’t be…
Then he heard it again, calling for his daughter. “Bethany…”
She had heard it too. “In here!”
Kurt felt cold chills running down his spine. He instinctively curled his hands into fists. “Dad?”
“That’s Grandpa?” Bethany asked excitedly. “I wanna go see him!”
The voice kept calling for her, saying she should come and see him.
“No, sweetie! Don’t go. Stay here with Daddy.”
But Bethany had already taken a step towards the dark hallway beyond the door. Kurt tried to move but he seemed unable to move from where he was, unable to take her hand. “Don’t you dare lay a hand on my daughter! Stay away from her!”
Bethany smiled at Kurt. “I’m gonna go see Grandpa!” She sing-songed happily.
“Bee, please don’t go,” Kurt begged, trying to reach for his daughter’s hand. She was too far away.
A tall, faceless figure appeared in the doorway, taking her hand.
“Let go of her!!” Kurt raged at the faceless figure, but his rage turned to desperation, as Bethany took its hand and turned away, waving back innocently at Kurt.
“Don’t go…Bee, please! Come back here! BETHANY!” She disappeared into the shadows and down the stairs, holding on to the figure’s hand. “NOOO!!!”
Jane had been dozing in the comfy chair in the corner of the room, when she was awakened by Kurt’s restless movements. As she sat beside him on the bed, she saw the silent tears running down his face. He was arguing with someone but the next moment he seemed distraught, pleading.
She reached out gingerly, caressing his arm, but he flinched at her touch. “Kurt…Kurt, it’s me.” She tried again. “You’re safe…” She kept brushing his arm, hoping to get through to him.
“NOOO!” Kurt reached out blindly, and she grabbed his hand.
At that, Kurt finally opened his eyes: his breathing ragged and his chest heaving.
Disoriented, he blinked, looking around. The terror in his eyes shattered Jane’s heart.
“Jane?” He spoke her name, his voice sounding small and forlorn.
“I’m here, Kurt.”
“Jane…” Her name came out as a whimper, as a cry of despair escaped him and he reached for his wife.
Mindful of his burns, she pulled him close into an embrace, stroking the nape of his neck tenderly as Kurt trembled, his breaths shuddering gasps against her shoulder. His anguish was tearing at her. Something had shaken Kurt to the core.
She pressed her lips against his temple. “Shhh…it was just a dream,” she tried to soothe him, but it seemed her reassurances had little effect. She could barely make out his words, as they tumbled forth in a distraught whisper.
“Bethany…she just went to him. I tried to stop her, Jane…but she…Dad, he…”. Despite his injuries, he pressed closer to her as the tears came.
As she held him, stroking his hair, she felt anger. Anger at Bill Weller for what he had done to his son. For years, Kurt had carried the guilt of what had happened to Taylor, how he had failed her. Somewhere deep inside him would always be that ten-year-old boy, blaming himself for something that was his father’s fault. Jane felt like she would have wanted kill her father-in-law herself, if he wasn’t already dead.
She kissed Kurt’s hair. “Look at me,” she asked softly.
His eyes were red, more tears trailing down his cheek as he met her eyes before averting them again. Jane reached out, caressing his cheek lightly with her fingers, hoping to convey her love for him as she wiped away his tears. He looked so vulnerable. She had never seen him like this. The forlorn look in his eyes burned into her brain.
She could feel the tears brimming her own eyes as she spoke. “Kurt...your Dad can’t hurt anyone anymore.” She traced his jaw with a gentle touch, her voice low and loving as she reassured him. “Bethany’s safe with Allie, and you will see her again. I promise.” Internally Jane was struggling, hating it that she couldn’t tell him when that reunion would be. She knew Kurt missed his daughter terribly.
Bringing her hand to his forehead, she felt the worry settle in firmly again as she took in the heat radiating off his skin. “But right now, you need to rest, okay?”
Kurt didn’t protest as she helped him back onto the pillows, just nodded and closed his eyes. “I think you’re running a fever. I’ll go get you something that will hopefully keep it down.”
project: @blindspothiatusproject 30 day gif/fanfic prompt challenge
day 9. happiness/joy
lightness
It’s almost three months to the day she was released from the hospital when it first happens. She has a dizzy spell as she stands up from her desk, bracing her hand on the end to steady herself.
The feeling is so familiar that she feels a sense of dread wash over her and, as soon as she has her bearings, she has to rush to the bathroom where she promptly empties the contents of her stomach.
She rinses her mouth and splashes some cold water on her face, pressing her palms to her flushed cheeks as she stares at herself in the mirror.
“Just the flu,” she tells herself, taking a deep breath before she reaches for a paper towel and dries her face. “Just coming down with the flu.”
She goes through the rest of the day willing herself to feel feverish. She waits for a chill to come over her, some sign of a flu or cold or viral infection.
Anything but a recurrence of her ZIP poisoning.
She doesn’t say anything to Kurt, convincing herself as the day goes on without any further symptoms presenting themselves that she had simply stood up too quickly that morning.
It’s another two days before she feels faint again, this time as she’s getting out of bed. And this time, with Kurt right there, worriedly rushing to her side to steady her as he wraps his arm around her waist.
She admits to this being the second time this has happened this week.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks as she sits back down and he kneels in front of her, reaching up to brush her hair off her face. She sighs and feels her eyes well with tears, reaching forward to hold his face in her hands.
She brushes her thumbs against his cheeks, tracing the lines of his face with her hands before she leans forward and presses her lips to his in a long, slow kiss, as if memorizing the feel of him, the taste of him.
“I’m scared,” she whispers against his lips and he nods, taking a deep breath before he kisses her again. “What if it’s happening again?”
“I know,” he says softly, cupping her cheek. “I know, but that’s why we need to get you checked out, to make sure that it’s not.”
This time she nods, clearing her throat as he brushes her tears away with his thumb, pressing a kiss to her salty cheek.
“Come on,” he says, offering her a smile as he stands up and reaches for her hand. “The sooner we go, the sooner we’ll know you’re OK,” he says as she stands up and she returns his smile, his optimism giving her a sense of hope.
Kurt calls Jane’s doctor while she’s in the shower and arranges for her to come in for a round of tests. They’re both quiet on the drive to the hospital, Kurt reaching over to take Jane’s hand in his. He brings the back of it up to his lips, keeping hold of it as he lowers it back down to the console between them.
“How about Indian tonight?” he suggests and she smiles, squeezing his hand.
“That sounds good,” she agrees, glancing out the window as they pull into the hospital parking garage.
They’re grateful that her doctor sees her right away, and even more so when he tells her it’s to alleviate their worries and not because he’s too concerned. He puts her through a battery of tests, drawing blood, sending her for scans, and testing her balance and memory.
She’s still in a hospital gown, sitting on the end of the examination table while Kurt stands at her side when her doctor comes in the exam room, reading her chart. Kurt reaches for Jane’s hand, lacing his fingers through hers.
“Well Jane,” the doctor says, closing the door behind them as he glances up at their worried expressions. “I am happy to say you are not having a recurrence of your ZIP poisoning.”
The breaths she and Kurt let out escape almost like sobs as Jane presses her face into Kurt’s chest, relieved tears escaping her eyes. She feels his hand rest on the back of her neck as he lowers his lips to the top of her head, resting them there for a moment before he stands up and Jane lifts her head to look back at her doctor.
“So, what is it, am I coming down with the flu?” she asks and her doctor smiles, looking back down at her chart.
“No...” he pauses and looks back up at them. “You’re pregnant.”
He’s met with stunned silence as they stare back at him, their jaws dropped and eyes wide.
“I’m...pregnant?” Jane whispers, feeling Kurt’s hand tighten around hers as her doctor nods and closes her chart.
“You are pregnant,” he confirms.
Jane looks up at Kurt, fresh tears in her eyes as he smiles down at her. He leans down and kisses her.
“We’re pregnant,” she whispers against his lips, feeling his curve into a wide smile as he kisses her again.
“You’re sure?” Kurt asks the doctor as they pull apart and the doctor smiles and nods again.
“I’m sure. We can set up for an ultrasound now if you like, you can see your baby,” he offers and Jane and Kurt both nod immediately.
“Yes, yes please,” Jane says, reaching up with her free hand to wipe at her cheeks.
“Great, it’ll be just a few minutes,” the doctor says before setting down her chart and leaving the room.
Jane looks up at Kurt, a whirlwind of emotions crossing both of their faces . She had been so worried that her ZIP poisoning was back, that they were about to relive the nightmare of earlier that year, it had never occurred to her that her symptoms were exactly what she’d first thought they were all those months ago.
A baby. Their baby.
“We’re having a baby,” Kurt whispers, leaning down to kiss her again as his free hand moves to her still-flat stomach. Jane grins against his lips as she covers his hand with hers. She takes a deep breath as they pull apart and he sits down beside her on the exam table.
“I know we haven’t talked about it again...since you, well, since you recovered,” he says and she nods, squeezing his hand reassuringly.
“It’s still something I want,” she says, smiling at him through her tears. He grins and leans forward, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
“Me too,” he says.
Jane’s doctor returns a few minutes later and she lays back for an ultrasound, a fresh batch of tears falling for both Jane and Kurt as the doctor points to their baby on the monitor.
He schedules them for follow-up appointments, reassuring them that everything seems fine but given Jane’s recent medical history, they’ll monitor her closely throughout her pregnancy.
Once they’ve wrapped up, Kurt calls into the office to tell Reade they’ll be taking the rest of the day off and, rather than head back to the car, they walk hand in hand to a nearby park.
Jane holds their ultrasound image in her other hand, staring at it as they sit down on a bench.
“This...was not what I was expecting,” she admits, unable to tear her eyes away from the image. Kurt murmurs his agreement, resting his chin on her shoulder as he looks at the image too.
“A happy surprise,” he says softly and she chuckles, nodding as she turns to brush her lips against his.
“Very happy,” she agrees before turning back to look at their ultrasound. “Also a little scary,” she admits quietly and he shifts closer to her, resting his forehead against her temple.
“You are going to be a wonderful mother...you are a wonderful mother,” he reassures her and she smiles, leaning into him.
They sit quietly together, staring at their ultrasound and letting the sounds of the park fill the air around them.
“So, who do you think she looks like?” he murmurs after a while and she chuckles, turning towards him with her eyebrows raised.
Their baby was barely the size of a raspberry and their doctor had said it was too early to tell if it was a boy or a girl anyways.
“She?” Jane asks skeptically and Kurt shrugs his shoulders, leaning back on the bench.
“Just a hunch,” he says and she laughs, leaning back with him and resting her head on his shoulder. He leans down and presses a kiss to the top of her head, his other hand coming to rest on her stomach again.
“You’re allowed to be happy, you know,” he whispers to her and she smiles, shifting closer to himself as she closes her eyes.
@lurkingwhump asked for some happy Jeller fluff to offset all the uncertainty and angst of the coming season... so I went for the happiest, fluffiest thing I could think of: a drunken Patterson wedding speech. :D I may also do Tasha’s and Reade’s, since we saw all three of them giving speeches at the reception in the wedding montage. But here’s Patterson’s for now.
“Time for my speech, guys! Settle down!”
Patterson’s clanging of a spoon on a glass seemed dangerously enthusiastic. Jane moved in closer to Kurt, murmuring, “I think she’s gonna break that glass. How much has she had to drink?”
Her husband of just a few hours grinned, shaking his head. “I don’t think she’s done by a long shot. I say we let her get on with it.”
“I do love a drunk Patterson,” Jane admitted, and leaned back against him to listen to the speech.
“Okay, Tasha’s made me promise not to mention Dungeons and Dragons, so I’ll leave that for the video camera. So, Jane Doe and Kurt Weller.”
Everyone had settled down to listen now, glasses of champagne in hand. Tasha leaned over to mutter something in Reade’s ear, and Reade snickered in reply. Jane gave Patterson a warm smile as her friend looked over at her.
“I don’t think anyone here is surprised this wedding is happening. Like, seriously. Not long after they met, Jane and Kurt had to go undercover as a married couple—a married couple of assassins, naturally, because this is Jane and Kurt—and it was a formal event, so he was waiting around, talking to Allie—hi, Allie!”
Allie waved from across the room, her smile fading only a little as baby Bethany, six months old yesterday, began to whimper on her lap. Jane tried not to roll her eyes as Kurt tensed a little, ready to rush to his daughter’s side if needed. He was the most overprotective father ever, and his daughter couldn’t even crawl yet.
As Bethany—and Kurt—calmed down, Patterson continued, “This was even before Bethany was conceived, that’s how ridiculously complicated Jane and Kurt’s relationship has been…”
Tasha cleared her throat loudly as Jane tried not to cover her face with her hands. “Oh my god, this is a trainwreck,” she whispered to Kurt.
“I know you don’t remember going to any weddings, but this is pretty much what happens at all of them,” he replied, amused. “Just go with it. Everyone’s going to end up too drunk to remember the speeches, anyway.”
“But yeah,” Patterson continued, “Jane walks into SIOC in this amazing, full-length black dress, all her tattoos covered by the dress except the ones on her hands and her neck, which we did with make-up… And Kurt just looks over Allie’s shoulder and sees Jane, and I swear… You know when someone in a cartoon sees someone they find attractive, and their eyes turn into hearts and their heart actually starts beating out of their chest?” She fluttered her hand over her heart to emphasise her point. “It was exactly like that.”
Everyone laughed, turning to look at the newlyweds. Kurt kissed the tattoo on Jane’s neck, completely unashamed. Jane shot Allie another look to make sure this wasn’t completely humiliating for her, but Allie was laughing and nodding. “It so was,” she mouthed across the room.
“But I had a point.” Patterson paused a moment, then said, “Oh! Yes. They’ve had their ups and downs since they first met. They both have nightmare families that got in the way, and that’s all I’m gonna say about that. Except you, Sarah. You’re great.”
From further down the table, Sarah Weller smiled and lifted her glass in thanks.
“But Jane and Kurt were, like, fated to be together. Nothing could stand in their way for long. They’d argue and angst, and the rest of us would just place bets on how long until they decided they loved each other more than they didn’t like what had happened. It definitely made the working day more entertaining.”
Jane wanted the floor to open and swallow her up. Everyone in her line of sight was nodding and grinning. How much of a soap opera had their relationship been to their friends and colleagues?
“So when they decided to make it official, no one was surprised. And as we all know, this wedding was pretty short notice, which Jane assures me is not because she’s having a baby, but because they’ve wasted so much time already. But no one is happier for them than me—and you guys, I’m gonna miss you so much when you move to Colorado. I love you both so much.”
Despite being a little uncomfortable, Jane couldn’t help but well up with tears at the heartfelt declaration. “I love you too,” she called.
“Everyone, please raise your glasses to the happy couple! To Jane and Kurt!”
“Jane and Kurt!” everyone echoed, and the clink of glasses resounded around the room.
Jane turned to her husband, picking up her glass. “To you,” she said, smiling.
“To us,” he said, knocking his glass gently against hers. His smile warmed her heart, so unguarded and joyful. They’d been through so much. They deserved this day.
“And to being drunk enough to forget that speech,” Jane added, and took a larger-than-polite gulp of champagne.
hold on to hope, love (jane/kurt fanfic + #bspromptchallenge)
project: @blindspothiatusproject 30 day gif/fanfic prompt challenge
day 22. locations/landmarks
A/N: thanks to @youaretheonlydepression for sending me this sweet prompt a while ago:
Hey, I don't know if take prompts but I can't stop thinking about Kurt taking Jane to ice skate in the Rockefeller Center and they finally discover something she can't do. Thanks!
It was just as I was starting the challenge so I hung onto it for this fic! Hope you like it. Set sometime mid-season two . Title from Amy Stroup.
hold on to hope, love
Jane sat on the bench, looking out at the dozens of people whizzing by her. There were people of all ages, in all kinds of pairings and groups, and some people on their own. Her eyes widened more and more as each person went by.
She couldn’t remember ever seeing people ice skate before. Even since her memory wipe, she hadn’t seen it, either in person or on TV. She was waiting for some kind of familiarity to kick in, as it usually did when she tried something “new” but so far, it just looked very difficult. And very cold.
“Ready to give it a try?”
She heard Kurt’s voice and turned to see him walking towards her. He was already wearing a pair of skates and holding another pair under his arm.
She glanced back out at the ice and then turned back to Kurt, trying to hold back the grimace that she was sure was on her face.
“I don’t know,” she said hesitantly as he knelt down in front of her. She watched as he reached for one of her feet and started to untie her boot. “It looks...hard,” she said and he chuckled as he slid her boots off for her.
“It’s not that bad, I promise. And it’s kind of like riding a bike. Once you learn how, you know how to do it. Your muscle memory will kick in, I’m sure,” he said as he opened up the neck of the skate for her to slip her foot into.
“I’m not sure my muscles ever learned how to do this,” she muttered as she watched him tie up her skates for her.
They had been on their way from the office to join the rest of the team for a drink when they got the text from Patterson that they had called it an early night and headed home. Jane was about to suggest that they grab a drink anyways when Kurt had glanced across the street and seen the lights at Rockefeller Center.
“How about a skate?” he asked, nodding towards the rink with a smile. She raised her eyebrows as she looked across the street.
“A skate?” she asked, confused.
“Yeah,” he said, reaching for her elbow as he led them across the street. “Ice skating. This is sort of a famous rink, especially at this time of year with the Christmas tree and everything,” he explained as they reached the ledge and she tilted her head back to take in the enormous tree that decorated one end of the rink. She then leaned over and peered down at the ice, seeing the busy crowds skating around each other.
“I’ve never actually skated on it in all the years that I’ve lived here,” he said with a laugh and she looked up at him with a smile. “What do you say?”
She had agreed and followed him down to ice level, where she waited by the rink while he rented them some skates. But as she watched everyone skate by her, she started to regret her decision.
“I don’t know about this,” she said as she followed Kurt towards the ice, already wobbling on her skates as they trekked across the rubber mat. “I don’t feel very steady on these,” she said as they reached the edge.
He grinned at her as he stepped onto the ice and spun to face her.
“Don’t worry,” he said, reaching out his hands. “I’ll keep you steady.”
She looked down at his hands and hesitated for a moment. They’d been spending more time together recently and it had been nice. It had been really nice. But this was their first non-drinking or eating activity in a very long time and she couldn’t help but wish they were doing something she had a little more confidence in.
She was almost about to chicken out and suggest they go get that drink instead when she saw the hopeful smile on his face and then glanced back down at his hands, extended out to her, and realized how silly she was being.
Just a few months ago, it would have been inconceivable for them to be here together. For them to be doing anything together, let alone this. She almost heard his voice in her head, saying that he didn’t like being in the same room with her but she pushed it away. She didn’t want those thoughts with her now. She didn’t want them with her, ever.
Here he was, holding his hands out to her, offering to help her try something new. Something that he hoped would be fun for her.
She took a deep breath and nodded as she placed her hands in his and hesitantly stepped onto the ice.
“There you go,” he said softly as she awkwardly pushed one foot forward. “Bend your knees a bit,” he said and she did as he instructed. He pushed off on one skate and glided backwards slowly, pulling her with him.
“So, probably safe to say you’ve never done this before,” he said with a chuckle as they moved along the edge of the rink. She grinned and shook her head, glancing up at him for a moment before returning her eyes to their feet.
“Doesn’t seem like it,” she agreed, gingerly pushing her feet forward. “Looks like you have, though?”
He laughed and nodded, moving his foot with a stronger push so they moved a little faster. She tightened her hold on his hands.
“I used to skate a lot as a kid, the pond by our house would freeze over in the winter. And there was a rink not too far from the military academy, I’d sometimes go there late at night. Good way to clear your head,” he said.
They were quiet for a few minutes as he pulled her around the rink. After a couple of laps, she felt a little bit of confidence to start pushing with her own feet, though not enough to let go of his hands.
“When was the last time you skated?” she asked as they paused to let a faster pair pass them.
“It’s been a couple of years,” he admitted as they started up again. “Tough to find the time with work and everything...”
She nodded, looking back down at their feet. She knew her arrival had been part of the “everything” and she hated the idea that she’d caused him to lose yet another part of his life.
“But it feels good to be back out here now,” he said. “Feels good to be out here with you,” he added quietly.
She looked back up at him, her eyes wide with her surprise.
“This can’t be very fun for you,” she said with a smile. “You’ve been going backwards at a snail’s pace the whole time while I shuffle along like I’m ninety years old.”
He laughed and shook his head, looking down at her skates.
“Give yourself some credit,” he said as he watched her shuffle her feet against the ice. “You’re moving like you’re at least seventy-five.”
She laughed and if she wasn’t so terrified of letting go of his hands, she would have smacked him. But instead she just squeezed his hands and stuck her tongue out at him. He shook his head and grinned as he slowed them down by a nearby ledge.
“I mean it, though,” he said as they came to a stop. “I’m happy to be out here with you.”
She looked up at him and bit her lip before glancing down, realizing he was still holding her hands, even though she no longer needed him to keep her upright. Slowly, she turned her hands in his, threading her fingers through his. She kept her eyes on them, memorizing the feeling of his palms against hers, every one of his fingers laced with hers, as he glided closer to her, leaning down and gently resting his forehead against hers.
They stood there like that for a long time, neither of them speaking. The air had grown cool around them and she could feel his breath, warm on her cheeks.
“Jane?” he whispered after a while and she felt his fingers tighten around hers.
“Mmmhmm?” she murmured, shifting herself closer to him.
“Can I kiss you?”
She couldn’t help but smile as she nodded slightly and tilted her head up towards him.
“OK,” she said softly, almost at the same time that he dipped his head and brushed his lips against hers.
Their kiss was slow and tender, more so than either of their first two kisses had been. There was an innocence in it that hadn’t been there before. Jane liked to think they were gaining back some of the innocence they had lost over the past two years.
As she leaned in closer to him, she forgot for a moment that she wasn’t standing on solid ground, or in regular shoes, and she lost her balance, her feet nearly slipping out from under her. She gasped against his lips as she reached out for his jacket. Thankfully, his reflexes were quicker than hers and he caught her around her waist, pulling her against him to steady her.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got you,” he whispered in her ear as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She chuckled and pressed her face into his shoulder as she shook her head, allowing her heart rate to slow down. She told herself it was from the surprise of her near-fall but she had a feeling his kiss might have had something to do with it, too.
“This was part of your plan, wasn’t it?” she mumbled and though he couldn’t see it, he could hear the smile in her voice. “Get me onto skates so you could say you swept me off my feet?”
She tilted her head back and met his eyes as he peered down at her, still holding her close against him. He grinned and leaned down, pressing his lips against hers once more.
“Wish I could say I was that smooth,” he murmured against her lips and she chuckled as he kissed her again.
She let him hold her steady as she kept her arms around his neck and he kept one arm around her waist, his other hand coming up cup her cheek. She felt his thumb brush against her cheekbone and she couldn’t help but lean into his touch.
“I’d say you’re pretty smooth,” she said as they pulled apart, both of them smiling wide.
“Well, let’s see how smooth this is. Can I buy you a hot chocolate?” He nodded over towards the concession stand beside the rink where they seemed to be doling out hot chocolate by the gallon. She giggled as she nodded and he took her hands again, guiding them to the nearest exit from the rink and over to the line up at the stand.
He held on to her hand as they waited and she couldn’t help but lean in to rest her head on his shoulder. He glanced down and brushed his lips against the top of her head, giving her hand a squeeze.
“So, what’d you think of your first skate?” he whispered into her hair.
She tilted her head back and smiled at him, resting her chin on his shoulder as they took a few steps forward in the line.
A/N: So, this is it, the last day of the prompt challenge! I’m so happy to have gotten through it - I really enjoyed it, but it was definitely harder than I thought it was going to be! I just want to say thank you SO MUCH for all of your wonderful feedback throughout the past few weeks! Your comments have blown me away, I never anticipated any of it and I’m so glad that you enjoyed reading my creations. Naturally, after today, I’m going to take a little break from fic writing for a bit (my brain definitely needs a recharge!) but I’ll continue writing soon. So, for the last time during this challenge, enjoy this little drabble!
They had been asking each other questions all morning. They’d woken up earlier than planned, but they didn’t want to get up just yet, so they decided to lie on in bed, their legs tangled together underneath the sheets. They asked each other questions back and forth, back and forth.
Favourite food?
Favourite ice cream flavour?
Favourite physical feature?
Favourite drink?
Jane grinned as he waited for her to ask him her next question. She bit her lip and enjoyed his slight irritation at how long she was taking to ask him. She slowly traced his right arm with her index finger to build up the anticipation even more. Finally, she took a deep breath and looked right into his eyes with a smile.
“What’s your favourite tattoo of mine?”
He chuckled at her question, stroking her hair. “Oh, that’s a tough one,” he smiled. “I have quite a few favourites”.
“Oh yeah?” she replied lightly, raising an eyebrow.
“Mmm-hmm,” he said softly. He took her right hand in his and brushed the honeycomb pattern against his lips. “I love this tattoo,” he whispered.
He then pulled her closer to him, and brought his lips down to the burning rose on her stomach. “I love this one too,” he said against her skin. “And this one,” he added as he moved his lips up to the swirls on her left arm.
She grinned as she realised what he was doing. She enjoyed the feeling of his lips against her skin as he traced her entire body, his mouth brushing over each tattoo as he spoke.
“And of course, I love this one,” he laughed softly as his lips found his name imprinted on her back.
“But it’s not your favourite?” she smirked.
“No, it’s not,” he whispered. He slowly traced his lips from his name, through her hair, over her jaw until it found the bird on her neck.
“This one,” he whispered as he kissed the ink. “This one’s my favourite,”
She smiled and ran her fingers through his short hair as his lips lingered on her neck. “Good choice,” she agreed happily. “I think that one’s my favourite, too”.
He moved his lips off of her skin to look at her properly. Her eyes were glowing with happiness, and he couldn’t resist leaning in to kiss her. He pulled back a few moments later, and he couldn’t help but smile when she groaned in protest.
“I have another question for you,” he said softly.
She raised her eyebrows in waiting.
“Do you love me?” he asked, although he already knew the answer.
She pulled his lips to hers again. “Very much so,” she whispered against his lips.
“Just checking,” he grinned, before kissing her again.
“Okay, I have another question,” she said, pulling back from him slightly. “Do you want to get out of bed at all today?”
“Not a chance,” he growled. He flipped her over onto her back, completely taking her by surprise, and she let out a laugh.
“That’s fine by me,” she giggled, “Who needs breakfast anyway?” He chuckled as she pulled him towards her once more.
