Warm gaze - Chimeras
~Special Chapter~
Warm - Day 6 @beatingthebabesbirthdaybash
CW: Pet whump, lady whumpee, lady whump, reference non/con, reference sexual abuse, self loathing.
A/N: A little late, but I've had this in my drafts for a while, so here's a short fic focused on Neli. I hope you enjoy it! ^^
There were countless moments when Neli thought about simply tearing off her tail—that small white puff at the end of her spine, like a ball of cotton, nothing but a nuisance to her. Just another thing people could touch without her consent. Just another thing others could hurt, point at, use as proof that she was not human.
Once, alone in the bathroom of her room—her cell—she tried to do it.
She had stolen a pair of scissors from Miss Amere’s study and lowered the mirror to the floor so she could see clearly. It wouldn’t be a difficult cut, she told herself. There was only a bit of cartilage there, buried beneath fur. It wouldn’t hurt forever. It wouldn’t hurt that much.
But the image of blood stopped her.
Of course it would hurt. It would hurt unbearably. She would be mutilating a part of herself.
The same was true of her ears. Thousands of times, she had fantasized about detaching them from her head like the accessories of a doll—leaving them behind somewhere and continuing on with her life. But it was impossible. Not without enduring long, agonizing moments, risking bleeding to death, not to mention how it could affect her hearing.
And even if, by some miracle, she managed to rid herself of every chimera trait— what guaranteed that it would keep her safe?
Fredrik himself had said it before. He didn’t fuck her only because she wasn’t “a real woman.”
His male friends didn’t care about the difference at all. Their constant vulgar remarks made her resent not only her animal features, but her voluptuous body, her long golden hair, her cherubic face—everything that made her herself.
There was a time when Neli believed she was pretty. A time when she imagined a happy future, one where she would find love and build a big, joyful family.
But now she was nothing but a caged animal, as Fredrik called her.
A piece of meat to be used for entertainment, as those men called her.
A fat, stupid slut of a bunny, as Miss Amere liked to remind her.
Neli hated her identity. She hated her chimera half and her womanhood just the same. She wanted to become ugly, to ruin herself—maybe then they would discard her, leave her alone, and she could go back to her family. After all, who would want an ugly pet and a whore?
But that thought gave way to new doubts: Would her family still want her after what she had become? After becoming a pet? A whore?
As much as she missed them every day, she didn’t have the courage to find out.
She didn’t even have the courage to cut off her tail.
And her family’s debt remained unpaid.
Neli hated her body.
She hated herself.
She hated her life.
Until Odifia appeared.
“Hello.”
Since becoming a pet, no one had ever greeted her like that—not in the way one human being addresses another, at least.
They were at one of the many parties Fredrik attended, held in private mansions steeped in the scent of expensive wine and hypocrisy.
This new girl was small and delicate, with yellow eyes marked by long, narrow pupils, and skin traced with pearlescent scales that shimmered green whenever the light touched them. There was something almost unreal about her—something that made Neli think of a fairy.
“Aren’t you cold?” the girl asked.
She wore a tight red dress that fell below the knee, sleeveless, a thick golden metal collar around her neck, and stilettos that looked less like shoes and more like needles. Neli wondered how she could stand with literal spikes beneath her feet.
“Not really,” the bunny girl admitted. The air conditioning kept the room cool despite the summer heat and the crowd of guests, and even dressed in nothing but a leotard and stockings, the temperature didn’t bother her.
The new girl brushed a strand of hair behind her ear before extending her hand.
“My name’s Ofidia, though I’m not very fond of it. You can call me Fidi.”
“I’m Neli. Just Neli,” she replied softly, returning the gesture timidly. The last time she’d seen girls her own age had been at the brothel, and even there she had never felt welcome. But this girl…
“These events are boring,” Fidi continued, crossing her arms. “Would you like to judge the guests’ outfits? As long as no one hears us. My so-called owner gets upset if she sees me being too talkative.”
Even though it was obvious that she too was a prisoner, a “pet,” Fidi spoke with confidence and ease, making sarcastic remarks and kind comments when they were needed.
Fidi became that little ray of sunlight in the middle of the darkness, that hopeful green glow that helped Neli survive just a little longer each day, that allowed her to feel, once more, the gentle warmth of human contact.
Not the contempt reserved for a chimera. Not the lustful hunger aimed at a piece of flesh. But eyes that truly saw her—eyes that saw Neli.
Maybe it wasn’t worth hating herself so fiercely… Not if someone could make her feel loved.
Love.
Was that what this warm feeling in her chest was?
Neli wasn’t sure.
But she was willing to find out.
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