Jul 18, 2024
잘생겼다 = handsome
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from Singapore
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Spain
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Türkiye
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Germany
seen from Finland
seen from France
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from France
seen from Germany
seen from Malaysia
잘생겼다 = handsome
a/n: Ironically, I got this idea while listening to Fukaimori by Do As Infinity. Please read the translated lyrics if you’re interested. Also, I started this as a drabble actually. I don’t know why I always write angst :’)
Summary: Kim Seokjin wants to chase his dream of exploring space. It’s all he ever wanted. And you only ever wanted him but you will not stand in between him and his passion. But there is a secret that you kept, too afraid it might hold him back.
Pairing: Kim Seokjin x you
Tags: Sci-Fi AU! Astronaut Jin! Childhood lovers AU! angst, drama, heartbreak, read only if you want to feel sad. Bittersweet ending.
Word count: 7k
“It’s so wide it’s kind of scary, isn’t it?”
“I think it’s beautiful.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, and one day I’m going to be among those pretty lights.”
“You are a pretty light.”
– – –
Jin’s eyes blink open and it takes him a while to find his bearings, remaining on his bed a little longer, staring up at the ceiling. He can hear his work partner moving around in the next room before he hears the man exit. He should, too, even if he rather pulls the blanket over his head and just disappears.
Getting out of bed, he gets ready to start the day. The first place he visits is the kitchen to get some caffeine into his system. He remembers dreaming but can’t remember what the dream was, only that it left a foul taste in his mouth and an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach.
“Morning,” Hoseok greets, standing in the middle of the kitchen area with a mug in both hands. He doesn’t look like he had a good sleep either.
“Morning,” Jin replies, taking out his mug and pouring himself a good helping of steaming coffee. He stands there, blowing the coffee to have it cool down a little before taking a tentative sip. He looks up at Hoseok, who is buried in some research papers. “Is that a new one?”
The second-in-command nods, not looking up. “Yep. They have a new location for us to check out. I’m just checking to see how much bullshit is in this one.” He rolls his eyes but focuses back on reading, eyebrows knitting together, mouth downturned.
Jin chuckles. “Well, have fun and update me later if there’s anything worth noting.”
He leaves Hoseok and heads towards the front of the Freljord, the huge long windows that line the walls showing him the dark and vast universe outside. A big fat nothing, you used to tell him when he would send pictures earlier in the first year of his voyage. He used to argue with you about it, trying to educate and explain to you that it’s not nothing but a whole new possibility of finding a new planet to call home. That is Freljord's mission, started seven years ago when everyone on board had been excited and full of hope.
Now, not so much, Jin thinks as he enters the main control room, or the cockpit. He finds Namjoon there, looking at a chart hovering inches from his face, the soft glow casting his face blue. “Anything of note?” he asks as he steps up to his chair in the middle and starts up his console.
Namjoon shakes his head. “Nope. Nothing much. Just,” he looks up towards the big glass window ahead, “forward, I guess.”
“Hoseok got some new materials,” Jin says as he busies himself with the blue screen that illuminates holographically in front of him, moving his hands deftly across it in front of his face. “Maybe he’ll have some new coordinates for us.”
Namjoon hums a response before putting away the chart with a flick of his wrist. The two men sit in silence, both tending to their own tasks before Namjoon sighs. Jin glances at his Chief Navigator. “Problem?”
“No,” replies Namjoon with a shake of his head. “Just…”
Jin fully turns around. “What is it?”
“Sometimes it just gets to you, you know,” Namjoon says heavily, rubbing the point in between in his eyes. “It just feels…pointless.”
Jin doesn’t reply but turns his chair back around, looking at the hologram in front of him but not really seeing anything. He understands exactly what Namjoon is saying because he feels it, too, more so recently. It’s just one of those days where he wakes up with the thought of you at the forefront of his mind, unable to push you to where you should be, at the back of his mind, buried with time. His shipmate is right; it does feel pointless. Seven years in space with nothing yet command centre still insists on going further out.
And every year, Jin only grows bitter and bitter. The project was only supposed to be a five-year plan but in the fifth year, a research paper came out about the possibility of finding a habitable planet in Andromeda and they were ordered to head that way. The excuse was that Freljord is advanced enough to make the trip, the first craft to reach the edge of our galaxy in half a decade! So it must be able to travel towards Andromeda, right? With a few stops along the way, because why not, right?
Jin is starting to think that the command centre forgot that there are real life humans in this spaceship, that this isn’t their own science fiction novel that they can write however they pleased. But Jin doesn’t have the power to turn them down. If they turn back around, they’ll be welcomed back as traitors. He had been subtly warned as such.
According to the calculation, they should break into Andromeda’s galaxy in a few more years, five the maximum, three if they’re lucky that nothing gets in their way. But judging from the asteroid shower six months ago that deviated them from their straight path by a year, three years seems unlikely.The idea that they all might just die in space is growing more and more solid in Jin’s mind, the Freljord forever floating, lost in space.
It’s Jin’s turn to sigh, heavy and long. He goes back to his console, typing and clicking on certain things to make sure the ship is running smoothly. Hoseok comes in a few minutes later, a bagel in between his teeth. He removes it before speaking to Jin. “So basically, they want us to head on to this new coordinate.” He points to a long string of numbers on the paper.
“And you don’t look too happy about it,” Jin notes, looking at his face.
Namjoon comes over to peer at the coordinates and his face scrunches up. “Are they fucking with us?”
Jin lets out a humourless laugh. “They’ve been at it for a couple of years now I thought you’d notice.”
“This is way out of our way,” Namjoon points out, annoyed. “This would set us back from the main mission, like, two years the least!”
Namjoon throws himself back into his seat, face buried in his hands. Hoseok gives him a sympathetic look but turns back to Jin. “It’s not set yet. This is just their proposal. But from the sound of those papers, it might already have been decided.”
Jin rubs his temple with two fingers. “And what’s over there?”
Hoseok bites the inside of his cheek before answering, “Water.”
Jin regards him through a frown. “What the fuck.”
The other man shrugs. “Seems like another craft researching asteroids found traces of it.”
“The same ones we passed by six months ago?”
“Seems like it,” the second-in-command answers. “And according to their calculation, this would be the general direction where they came from.”
Jin shakes his head. “That doesn’t make sense. They want us to head straight to an asteroid belt for all we know. Can you reconfirm?”
“Already did. Might take a while until we hear back, though.”
Hoseok watches his captain contemplate, his forehead creasing over. Jin throws his gaze back outside to the abyss in front of him. Honestly, he’s not thinking of anything much. His mind is blank. To him, two years or five years don’t make much of a difference now. Any motivation that he had at the start of this mission to go home and resume the life he left behind is long gone. There’s nothing left for him back on Earth, therefore, nothing left for him to lose. To go or not to go no longer bothers him. But he still has other people to think about, crew members of seventy to weigh in on that decision. They are his main concern.
Hoseok recognises that blank expression well. “I’ll call for a meeting with all the heads during lunchtime.”
The captain merely nods.
***
The seven chief officers sit around the table.
Jin sits in the middle and Hoseok and Namjoon on either side of him. The Communication Officer, Min Yoongi, is to Hoseok’s left and the Chief Science Officer, Park Jimin, is to Namjoon’s right. Kim Taehyung, the Chief Engineer and the Chief of Security, Jeon Jungkook, brings up the total of the leaders on board. Each man is responsible for at least ten other crews under them but the whole weight of the ship falls on Jin’s broad shoulders.
Hoseok finishes the debriefing, keeping it short and simple. He now poses the main question. “We need to know if all of us are in favour of going off route to check out this supposedly new source of water or if we should just remain our course for Andromeda.”
“I say we stay on course,” Jungkook offers first. “We’re already in the second year of a five-year plan for Andromeda. I rather we don’t lose any more years on something so vague.”
Kim Taehyung nods. “I agree.”
“But what if we do find it?” Jimin implores, looking around the table. “The possibility of being the first to find water in space! Imagine that! I say we go check it out.”
“If we do, we’ll be set back by two years at the least,” Namjoon adds. “Would that still be okay?”
Jimin nods. “So what? We’ve already been here seven years. What’s a couple more?”
“Easy for you to say,” Taehyung argues. “Some of us have people waiting for us back home. I promise my fiance at least five more years. Five more years and I’ll be home and I can marry her.”
Jimin pulls a face. “I told you to break it off before we go onto the ship. You’re just stringing her along at this rate.”
“Fuck off,” Taehyung growls. “A playboy like you wouldn’t get it.”
Jimin opens his mouth to retort but Jin slams his fist on the table. “Enough. I’m giving three days for each of you to explain this to your crew and come back with a unionised decision. Majority wins.”
“Come on, captain,” Taehyung pleads. “Let’s not. Let’s tell Command we don’t have enough resources to prolong this voyage. The craft behind us can do it.”
Yoongi nods, agreeing. “It’s their area of study anyway.”
“Their craft isn’t built like ours,” Hoseok interjects. “They wouldn’t make the trip nor would they even make it further out of the Kuiper Belt.”
“Which is why this is coming to us,” Yoongi concludes to himself, silently understanding. Freljord is one of a kind, a miracle created that couldn’t be replicated as close as to the original. It’s high-tech, advanced and self-sustaining in terms of fuel. Shaped like a sperm, the front part is a spherical globe with a bridge connecting a smaller-sized one that makes the tail where the engineering team is.
“Truthfully,” Namjoon pipes up. “I’m with Taehyung on this one. I want to go home, Captain. Don’t you?”
Jin is caught off guard that the navigator would target him, staring at Namjoon like a deer in headlights. Somewhere in the distance, he can hear Taehyung saying something about Jin having left a girlfriend back home, too, so naturally, he should be on their side. But Jin’s mouth is dry. They knew he had someone before they started this mission, he had talked about you, had even had a few grainy video calls with you with them present, had always run back to his room to check for mails from you every night without fail.
Suddenly, Jin is brought back in time.
– – –
“When are you leaving?”
You looked at him through wide, teary eyes, standing at the kitchen island of the apartment you shared with him. He stood on the other side, arms hanging limply on both his sides. He had anticipated that you’d be upset but he didn’t think it would be this bad. He had excitedly come home to show you the letter of acceptance for the Andromeda mission, unable to hide the wide smile on his face. You had read the letter but your face had crumpled. By the end of it, your eyes stung by how much tears are pooling in them.
“It’s a good opportunity,” he had said, trying to convince you. “It’s once in a lifetime and there’s only one spaceship that can do this. It seems I’m the only one compatible to steer it and they need me. It’ll be good for-”
“Is that all you care about?” you wailed. “That they need you? What about me, Jin? What about us?” You waved the letter in his face. “It says here it’ll take ten years. You’re going to be gone for ten years!”
“I know, I know,” Jin tried to placate, putting his arms around your waist. You pulled away moving towards the kitchen, the letter still scrunched up in your fist. He followed you. “Baby, it’s ten years maximum. It could be less. This new spaceship is something no one has ever seen before. It’s much faster, much more-”
“I don’t care, Jin! I don’t fucking care how fucking awesome the ship is! I don’t want you to go!”
You were fully crying by then, leaning against the island top as you tried to get your breathing under control. You placed one hand against your chest, feeling the pain about to rip you apart. You know that he’s been training for this, dedicating most of his youth to the space centre in hopes that one day he’ll get to go. And now he could but you didn’t think the day would come and that it would come so soon.
“When are you leaving?” you asked through shaky lips, your voice barely coming out.
Jin scratched the back of his head. “Well, there’s still more training to do and-”
“When?” you insisted.
Jin studied your face, feeling his hands shake. Mere hours ago, when he received the letter, he had been almost bouncing in his seat, unable to focus on anything except to go home and break the news to you. But now, the excitement had dissipated, replaced with nothing but a heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach, the kind that made him think that his heart had fallen out of its place. There’s a lump in his throat and he swallows it. “Next year.”
Your face fell once again, crumpling to the floor as your body heaved with every sob. Jin rushed forward, collecting you in his arms and pulling you into his lap. He didn’t have any words to say, didn’t know what he could say to comfort you. He thought you’d understand but understanding and accepting are two very different things, he realised.
Jin knew that as much as this news had been an amazing one, something no one else has ever done before, it’s also something very agonising, now that he’s actually thinking about it. But the pros outweigh the cons, he had selfishly thought. All his life, he had wanted nothing more than to be able to go into space on one of his own missions. He had dreamt of this since he was a little kid, since they were little kids. All those nights of camping in the backyard of your house in the small tent your dad pitched up counting stars, you both had talked about it. Or at least he did.
And you had been supportive of his dreams. You had been the one person in his corner to push him to go into astronautics after high school, the one person who helped him study for exams when he thought that he couldn’t do it because it had been too damn hard. You were the person that packed his lunch on days when he had been too tired to even remember to eat, painstakingly shaping the sausages and eggs and sandwiches into little stars and moons and a rocketman. You had cheered the loudest when he got accepted into the Aerospace Research Institute, taking him out to dinner at one of the most luxurious steakhouses in town. It had cost you three of your part-time paychecks to pay but it had been worth it.
A week after his first paycheck, Jin finally had the balls to ask you to officially be his girlfriend but it had almost seemed that that had been the case for most of your university lives, you two joined at the hips even when you were studying at different universities, that it felt natural to just say yes. He bought you a promise ring three months later and you both had planned out the rest of your lives together. Not once did it occur to both of you that it might not come. Not once did either of you ever doubt a future together, the names of your kids picked out and carefully written in a journal you both shared.
Not until that night of the acceptance letter. It felt like the whole world upended for you, ripped out from beneath your feet. Is this what it felt like for Jin to be in that zero-G simulator day in and day out? Because to you, it feels like nothing is reliable anymore; up is down, left is right, right is wrong. It made you feel like throwing up, your head spinning from the sudden unknown of what’s to come. You didn’t like it and you hated that Jin went to work living off of this feeling. He loves it so much he’s willing to leave you behind for more and that's what hurts the most, unfair as it was.
If truth be told, you never expected for Jin to go into space, not that he was incapable but that it had been difficult to be picked. And it’s not everyday that they were sending people into orbit. When Jin told you about the Andromeda Project, you had secretly doubted it. No other country had ever had the technology to make such a craft that can easily travel into interstellar, never mind one big enough to carry close to a hundred crew. But the Andromeda Project had been going on far longer before Jin joined and by the time he had enough experience and knowledge and whatever else requirements needed, it was time to start choosing and training the right people.
Even then, you had your doubts. According to your brother, Hoseok, the competition was tough and they usually go for those with no young family left behind. Jin might not have a family but he wouldn’t abandon you, right? Only you were wrong. So arrogant you were to think that you could compete with his childhood dream, so you relented.
“Okay,” you said, one night as you were getting ready for bed and Jin was propped against the headboard, reading an article on his iPad. He looked up, confused. “Okay,” you said again. “I’ll support you.”
It takes a moment for Jin’s brain to finally click, throwing down the iPad and crawling over towards your side of the bed. He hugged you from behind, pressing lingering kisses on your shoulder. “I promise it’ll go by faster before you know it.”
You didn’t believe him. Who would? Space exploration is the one thing that no one can really tell on, especially one like the voyage he was about to embark on. It’s never been done before so what precedent can anyone refer to? Everything is a blank slate and yes, he would be making history. You’re proud of him for that but at the same time bitter that it had to be him who goes. What’s worse, Hoseok got in, too, so you’ll be left all alone, the one left waiting.
Jin could see how much you were trying to play the supportive girlfriend role. You never complained about his late nights, you never asked more than what you wanted to know, never burdened him with anything you can handle yourself. You took care of his lunch and supplements and as the months went by, you took care of everything in regards to the household, everything so that Jin didn’t have to think of anything else except his oncoming mission.
And the busier Jin got, the heavier your heart grew. When you had a falling out with one of your close friends, Jin didn’t hear about it. He didn’t have to, his mind was preoccupied enough already. When your mother called one day asking if you were still with him when he was going to leave, you had hung up on her. You cried yourself to sleep because you couldn’t distract him. He needed the rest, he needed the clarity. All that he needed, you gave it to him and with that, he never noticed that you were barely keeping your own head above water as you held him afloat.
Three months before his take off date, Jin went down on one knee. The ring he proposed with had been his mother’s, tweaked to have a new diamond installed, a diamond that resembled the north star. “So I know where I’m heading to. You are my last destination,” he had promised. You said yes, because what else could you have said? Like the rest of the issues that were building, this was one of them that he didn’t need to contend with, not when he was about to leave. The preparation had been tough and Jin was stressed out enough, hardly even home for him to notice the change in you, both mentally and physically.
The first year of the Freljord take off had been excruciating. You only received two emails forwarded through from ARI; one from him and one from Hoseok. It’s the year that they had gone into cryosleep. Jin’s email had been a long one, detailing all the little things saved up in his heart that he never had the chance to tell you while still on Earth and all the little details of his voyage so far, the latter more than the first, and that was when you knew.
But a year wasn’t long enough for you to be sure. You were a good girlfriend so you waited, giving it more time, hoping that with time, you can learn to accept reality. But the next email came almost three years later when he was finally awake again. Moving on was harder than it sounded. It wasn’t an actual break up nor a death but a sort of limbo that your fiance might or might not return. You wanted so much to let him know but it never seemed appropriate to tell something so important via email so you waited for a video call chance.
Video calls are much harder. His crewmates would sometimes pop in and out of frame to say hello, teasing him in the background. But the worst part was the fact that Jin looked happy. He would talk on and on about the ship, the crews, the vast nothingness he could see out the window, none of which you cared for. He did not, in fact, ask anything about the life he left behind. The video calls were short, too, more static than anything else, so never a good time to bring up the subject of the one thing he should know about. But letting him know could cost him the project so you couldn’t do it, didn’t have the heart to.
When you’re on a spaceship that travels on hyperspeed, time completely changes between space and Earth. In his excitement, Jin had completely forgotten about this one important fact. And that was one of his many mistakes.
– – –
Hoseok, who knows more than the others, pulls their attention away from the captain. “Jin already said majority wins. So go back to your units and let us know in three days. We’ll decide from there. Meeting adjourned.”
The others left, talking among themselves but Jin remained at his seat. Hoseok stays next to him. He doesn’t speak, letting the older man decide for himself whether he wants to share whatever that was on his mind or not. Hoseok and Seokjin have been friends since high school, too long to even count the years now. He could tell right away this morning when Jin came into the kitchen that something was wrong and had been wrong for a while now, at least for this past month.
“Is it y/n?” Hoseok broaches, growing a tad bit impatient. If it is, then Hoseok can worry less. If it’s something to do with the mission then he should know about it, too.
Jin slowly looks up. His eyes are clouded over, making it hard for Hoseok to read his best friend. What in the world is he hiding? What is it?
Without speaking, Jin takes out his mobile pad from his belt, swipes around on it and then passes it over to Hoseok, looking down at his lap. The Chief Officer silently takes the device and looks at the screen. The first thing he sees is the sender’s name: y/n l/n. The body of the message is short. A simple, ‘I’m sorry, Seokjinie.’ There’s an attachment at the bottom and he taps on it. At the sight of the image, Hoseok whips back around to Jin.
“When did you get this?”
“Last month,” Jin croaks out, still looking down. When he speaks again, his voice breaks. “The further away we are from Earth, the longer it takes for messages to arrive.” The tears flow, dripping down Jin’s face and into his lap. He has yet to raise his head.
Hoseok looks back down to the picture. He recognises it, receiving the same one in his email at the same time Jin did, he bet. He hadn’t said anything to the captain, didn't know how. But Jin also had been quiet, too quiet, he thinks but if the man wasn’t ready to talk about it, Hoseok isn’t the type to push. Now, he thinks he should’ve.
Yes, the further away they move from Earth, the harder it is for any communication to happen between Command and the ship. It just takes longer for anything to arrive. Not only that, Freljord moves at the speed of light, warping the concept of time for all its crew. If Hoseok’s calculation is correct, this email is five years late, which means-
Jin’s crying grows harder, sobbing so hard he doubles over. Hoseok can only put one hand on the man’s back, rubbing up and down but not really doing much to calm his friend. Jin had never experienced such pain, his chest aching so much he wishes he could tear his skin off if it alleviates the hurt. Jin has always been good at bottling his feelings, he’s done it his whole life. He’s not an emotional person (wouldn’t be able to be an astronaut if he was).
When you were kids and he skinned his knees from falling over his bicycle, you were the one who cried while he stood there stoically as his mother slaps on a cartoon band aid. When Hoseok would get angry at him for hogging the PlayStation, he would just drop the controller in the midst of the boss battle so Hoseok can have a turn. When you were angry at him for something he had said, he had sat there calmly listening to you ranting at him why it was the wrong thing to say, mentally noting to not say it again. When you had broken down over the news of his acceptance to the Andromeda Project, his eyes had been dry.
But right now, it feels like the whole ship could go down and he wouldn’t give a fuck if it meant he would stop feeling this ripping pain. If a window of the ship had been breached, he would run towards it and lunge himself out. If there was anything on the manual about how to numb the agony coursing through his veins, he would tear out every nook and cranny of this ship to find it. But all he has is Hoseok, silently rubbing his back.
“I’m too late, Hoseok,” he keens, the note of his voice breaking Hoseok’s heart. “I’m too late. I was so stupid. So fucking stupid. I shouldn’t have come. I should’ve stayed behind. I should’ve been with her.”
But Hoseok’s not sure if time would reverse, Jin would choose differently. He knows the man too well. Space is all he has ever talked about, he’s sure even you knew that. Hoseok also knows that if Jin had decided to not go, you would’ve changed his mind. You love him too much to not let him live his dreams and Hoseok thinks it’s only fair for Jin to do the same. But he guesses the difference was that one had seen it coming long before while the other had been too blinded by passion. Neither was wrong, though, he thinks.
As Jin continues to bawl, loud enough for Yoongi to come back to the kitchen to check on the noise but retreat back out once he sees Jin, Hoseok looks back at the picture still on the screen of Jin’s communicator pad. The cream-coloured background with the gold emboss of the wedding invite stares prettily back at him. Hoseok wonders how old his niece and nephew are now.
– – –
The house is finally quiet, the only sound being the clinking of dishes as you wash them, humming to yourself softly to a song you can’t quite remember the title of nor the actual lyrics.
Every once in a while, you catch yourself looking up into the window above the sink and only seeing your reflection, the necklace around your neck glinting everytime it catches the light. The north star diamond rests just right on your sternum, lightly thudding against your bone whenever you move.
You’re lost in your own thoughts, your hands moving automatically, the sound of the tap water running a background noise. Your husband is already in bed; he’d had a long day at work. You’re sure that when you go up to bed, he’ll stir awake before pulling you to sleep in his arms. He told you once a long time ago, six months into the relationship, that he cannot sleep without you any longer. You’re his comfort then, his comfort now fifteen years later. But you probably won’t go straight to bed when you’re done with this.
You put the last dish on the rack and wipe your hands. The letter that came in today sits on the table in the hallway, untouched. You had taken one look at the logo stamped on the front left corner of the envelope and had almost dropped it, feeling like the piece of paper had burnt you. With shaky hands, you had picked it back up and placed it where it is now, hoping that when the recipient sees it, he’ll take care of it.
But he hadn’t so now you have to make sure that he does before he sleeps. You make your way up the steps, one hand running up the bannister, not for support but mostly because if you don’t have your hand on something solid, you’d feel like you might float away. The skylight installed years ago allows the bright light of the full moon to cascade down into the house, illuminating your way perfectly fine. You look up at the sky, noticing the tiny little sparkling stars and you can’t help but feel bittersweet, a sort of melancholy you thought would have faded in time. The letter is clutched in your other hand.
Up the stair, you make towards the first door on the left. You take a deep breath, send up a silent prayer and knock.
“Yeah?”
You open the door and peer in, finding your son sitting at his desk, his laptop opened. He leans over his chair to look at you, raising his eyebrows. “Yeah?”
“Can I come in?” you ask.
He nods. “Yeah, sure. ‘Sup?”
You walk in and look around the room. For a seventeen-year-old teenager, he’s pretty tidy, tidier than his twin sister, surprisingly. The many books on the shelves are arranged in order of genres; fiction, non-fiction, and school books. The fiction section consists of about fifteen books right at the bottom. Two-third of the tall shelves are full of non-fictions, mostly science related, almost all on space and astronomy. When he had expressed interest in that specific area, you had been hesitant, but you’re not one to stand in the way of the people you love. It has always been like that.
Above his bed, stuck to the ceiling, are a constellation of stars and planets, glowing green in the dim lighting. Among them is a rocket-shaped one.
That’s why when the letter came today, you knew what it was. Your heart and brain war against each other; one tells you to rip it up to miniscule pieces and throw them away, the other already knows you’ll do what’s right. Because you’ve done it before.
You sit on his bed, careful not to mess up the covers too much. The laundry basket is full and you point to it. “I told you to bring it down, didn’t I?”
Taejin pushes his chair away from the desk and swirls it around to face you. “You didn’t come here to lecture me about my laundry, omma, did you?”
You look at him, noticing that his hair is getting a little long around the ears, poking against his neck and fluffy at the top. Except for his eyes, he looks nothing like you and very much resembles his father more than anything. It’s a haunting image sometimes. There’s more of his father in him than just the look, apparently. You smile and shake your head. “No, I didn't.” You produce the letter. “I came to give you this. It arrived earlier today.”
His eyes light up before it dims again. He opens his mouth then closes it, shaking his head. “I was waiting for it but now I don’t know if I’m ready to know.”
You mull over his words, nodding to yourself. “But how long are you going to put it off? Even if you don't, time will still continue to flow, you know? It’s not going to stop just because you’re not ready.”
He looks a little confused, his head tilted to one side. You let out a soft laugh. “Look, Jinnie, if you get in, that’s great. If you don’t, it’s not the end of the world. You can choose another school, another programme.” You doubt the latter half of your words, knowing him well enough that it wouldn’t be that easy for him to give it up. “Or would you want me to look for you?”
He thinks about it before shaking his head. “No. I’ll do it.”
You hand him the letter, watching him tear it open with shaking fingers. He pulls out the piece of paper inside and unfolds it. He gives you one last look and you nod with encouragement. “It’s not the end of the world.”
He reads it, eyes going over the words with such speed before he looks up, eyes wide. Curious, you get up and stand next to him, reading the content of the letter from over his shoulder. A small part of you withered, noting that this is how it had started, too, back then. You beam at Taejin, ruffling his hair. “Congratulations, my little spaceman. You got in.”
While your daughter pursues music, your son follows his dream. As Areum debuted in a girl-group in South Korea, Taejin finishes his internship with the Aerospace Research Institute. As you cheer Areum at her first stadium concert, Taejin is wrapping up his initial training as an astronaut as one of the top trainees in line for the space mission, Andromeda II. On the day that Areum flies back from her Grammy performance show, she heads straight for ARI, breathless and still very much jetlag to say goodbye to her twin before his thirty days quarantine starts. She might not see him again, ever, but that’s something you did not mention to either of them.
Areum had to leave earlier, tear-stained face waving goodbye from the door, unable to actually leave. You watch as Taejin gives her one last, long hug, the kind of hug that clearly communicates the amount of love he has for her, the kind of hug people give when they know it might be the final goodbye. She leaves then, hiccuping and sobbing, and you wished you had left with her. But not yet, you still have one last thing for your son, a parting gift.
“I want you to have something,” you say, unclasping the necklace from around your neck and placing it in his palm, closing his fingers onto it. “I want you to hold on to this for me, okay?”
Taejin looks close to tears. “But, omma. I know how precious this necklace is to you. Are you sure? Shouldn’t you be giving this to Areum instead?”
You smile at him. “I have something else for her, don’t worry. I want you to wear it, always.”
He doesn’t ask questions but puts it around his own neck, placing it safely inside his T-shirt. “Will Jackson be okay with you giving me this?” he laughs, only jesting.
You shake your head. “It wasn’t from him.”
He looks surprised.
You let out a soft sigh. “Taejin-ah,” you say, trying to arrange your words carefully. “Do you remember that astronaut story I used to tell you when you were little? The one that went on to travel the universe, in search of his north star?”
He nods hesitantly, probably the memory of the story faded with time. “I can recall bits and pieces. Why?”
“Well, what if I tell you he had been a real person?”
Taejin stares at you. “What do you mean?”
Suddenly, the intercom in the lounge room crackles to life and a disembodied voice echoes throughout the whole arena. “Five minutes until quarantine starts. All trainees are required to check in at seventeen hundred hours.” The announcement is repeated once more and you grip Taejin’s hand, your heart breaking. How many times can it break the same way in a lifetime?
“Listen to me,” you say, speaking urgently. “You told me that your mission is to-”
“Converge with the crew of the first Andromeda mission on Planet-”
“Yes, that,” you interject, waving for him to stop. Time is running out. “There’s someone on that mission that I want you to find, someone who will recognise the necklace I gave you.”
“Someone other than Uncle Hoseok?”
You nod and smile but the tears are creeping down your cheeks. Taejin catches them with his fingers but you ignore him, ignore the tears. “When you find him, you’d know. All the questions you’ve been asking me that I couldn’t answer will be answered, I promise you.”
The announcement reverberates through the air one more time and the whole room flutters with activity as family members and friends and loved ones of those taking off next month hurry to leave or give one last hug or kiss.
Taejin looks a little lost. “I don’t understand what you’re saying. What are you-”
“Trust me, okay? Wear the necklace always and you’ll know when you find him,” you repeat, getting up and pulling away but your son wouldn’t let go of your hands.
“Omma, please,” he begs. “I need more explanation. Why tell me this now?”
You manage to free your hands from his grasp, the tears blurring your vision. You pull him in for one last hug and hold his head in place as you place a kiss on his forehead. “I love you, Taejinnie. All I did was out of love. Tell Hoseok I love him and miss him so much. We all do. Tell them all about us.”
Taejin relents, letting go of you and finally moving towards the door that will take him and the others inside the building to be quarantined pre-flight. He has his suspicions on who you meant but the name was never mentioned, or it was in the story you’ve told that he had thought fiction. But that was a story when he was a child, something that’s only a vague memory in his head. Now, he racks his brain for it.
For the next thirty days of quarantine, Taejin obsesses over remembering the name. In a bout of desperation, he manages to pull up the name list of all the crews of the Freljord, the predecessor ship of the one he will embark on. He doesn’t have to look far, the name jumping out to him on the first line, noticing the similarity immediately. Captain Kim Seokjin. To confirm it, he finds a picture of the commanding officers of that spaceship and he almost falls over his chair.
It’s like staring at a picture of himself. The father that he had been looking for all this time, the father that he had given up asking about by the time he was eight, is one of the men that he is going to meet in another galaxy. He grabs ahold of your necklace, his fist wrapping around the north star diamond.
“I’m coming,” he whispers to himself, his fingers rubbing against the diamond softly. “Please be there. I'm coming to find you.”
a/n2: I might have ended this a little too abruptly but I was running out of motivation lol lmk what you think of this one shot in the comment or ask. Like and reblog will be much appreciated :)
Check out my other works → :MASTERLIST:
seokjin x mots journey shoot
(cr. namuspromised)
Moaning On Stream
Pairing: Gamer!Seokjin x reader
Genre: smut, humor, a literal dash of fluff
AU: Established Relationship.
Wordcount: 2,330
Summary: You just want to sleep in a little bit longer, but your boyfriend has decided to play a frustratingly difficult game on stream. However, his frustration sounds a lot similar to something else...
Warnings: Language. Oral (M receiving). Is gagging a warning? Allusions to oral (f. receiving) and other sexual acts.
Rating: M / 18+
AN: We all saw it. We all heard it. Why Jin decided to play a frustratingly difficult game on vlive while giving us a very good idea of how he sounds in bed is beyond me. But I am forever thankful for him doing it. Thank you to the beautiful @btsgotjams27 for beta-reading my quick moment of weakness. Sorry for the horrific last minute header. Just needed to include that face.
and as usual, please leave feedback. Either with a reblog or send me an ask. It’s greatly appreciated. 💜
Masterlist
You just want to sleep in a little bit longer. You had a long day yesterday, a great day actually, but a long day nonetheless. And all you want to do is sleep past nine in the morning, lounge around a bit with your boyfriend, and maybe have brunch later. After that, you can be a grown-up and focus on your responsibilities.
But it’s eight am and you’re abruptly woken up by obnoxious screaming coming from the room over. You throw one of the firmer pillows at it, hoping your boyfriend would hear the light thump and take it as a warning. But the pillow barely hits. You roll onto your stomach, shoving your pillow over your head, and let your anger out into the mattress.
You grab your phone to make sure he’s actually streaming before busting in there half-naked to yell at him. He is, which means you have to wait to unleash violence. You let the stream play, watching him play the game you showed him yesterday. He’s not good at it, hence the yelling. He’s trying to form actual sentences and have a real conversation with his audience, but every time, his sentences are interrupted by him chanting “hup hup hup” among other phrases. The problem comes when he’s almost at the top of an area and he moans. Fully moans on stream. And suddenly you’re wide awake and no longer angry. What on earth is he doing moaning on his stream?!
You give it another twenty minutes until he screams at the top of his lungs again, moaning out “stop stop stop, please stop,” as his character falls to the very beginning of the game. You throw the blankets off your body and bring your phone with you as you stomp off to his office, quietly opening the door so the mic doesn’t pick up any clue that he’s not alone. While you’re trying to be subtle about your entry, Jin couldn’t be more obvious as his head lifts to meet your eyes, a little panicked. He turns back to the game, actively not swinging the hammer correctly so his character falls again, and he gets up in feigned anger, muting the stream as he leaves the camera frame.
“Jagi, what are you doing here? I’m streaming.” He lightly gestures to his desk as if you were an oblivious fool.
“I was sleeping. Because it’s eight in the morning.” Your eyes narrow at him. “And I’m well aware of you streaming in your pajamas and moaning on stream, Jin.”
“I’m not moaning!”
“Yes, you are. You’ve been doing it for half an hour.”
“I didn’t moan though? I’m just angry, this game is hard.”
You roll your eyes “Which is why I told you you shouldn’t play it.” You move to sit on the couch in his office that’s off camera. You bring his stream back up on your phone, silencing it. “Moan again, and watch what happens.” You send him a threatening glare and he moves back to his desk, confused.
He resumes the stream saying he just needed to “walk off the frustration so I don’t swear on stream”. You roll your eyes, you know his fanbase would lose their minds if he said any bad words. But he made the decision to be “family-friendly” and you were about to test how family-friendly he could be as soon as he moans again in
3…
2…
1…
“Ooohhhh! Why why why why?! Wha ahhhhhhhh,” He screams, spewing various words of frustration at mach 7. You roll your eyes. That’s literally how you sound when you come. You argue with Jin in your mind. You noticed the delay between real-time and the stream time is only like two or three seconds. You get up, sighing and ignoring Jin’s glance at you as you stand behind his camera, phone still in hand. You finally lift your eyes to meet his wide eyes and smirk as you drop down to your hands and knees, crawling underneath his desk. He knows what’s about to happen and instinctively scoots his chair forward, and brings it down a little so nothing can be seen on camera.
You sit on your knees and shins, feet tucked under your ass that’s only protected by your boyfriend’s boxer briefs that you stole. You wait for him to resume his stream, setting your phone down on the floor next to you so you can see him on stream, talking with his viewers and trying to get through the game, waiting for him to fail. As you wait, you slowly run your hands up his legs and back down, every time you go up, you get closer to his thighs. Once you finally reach the meatiest part of them, he quickly spreads his legs for you. He shifts in his seat as if he’s asking you to get on with it. You respond by digging your nails into his thighs through his pajama pants. He groans, forcing his character down the hill again at the same time to cover up what was really happening.
The second you hear him start to chant about the game again, and you see his character begin to fall, and this time because he actually fucked up, your hand reaches forward and palms him roughly. He lets out a moan between his angry chants and you have to resist the urge to laugh because it’s the same fucking noise he made earlier. You’re literally letting the world know what you sound like when we fuck.
You resume your massaging of his bulge, watching for specific moments in his gameplay to really tease him by pressing harder or tugging gently. Once you feel him growing beneath the layers of clothing, you decide to go a little easier, tapping his hip to signal to him he needs to remove his pants and underwear. He looks over at his other monitor and turns off his camera and mutes his mic. He waits until his stream just shows his gameplay footage and he sees his viewers spamming F in the chat. Once it’s confirmed the camera is off, he quickly backs up the chair so he can lift his hips for you to tug both his pants and underwear down to his ankles.
“You’re going to get me in trouble, jagi,” he quickly whispers angrily at you, but you don’t care.
You shrug up at him. “Then don’t moan again. Don’t make a sound except for talking to your chat. Should be easy.” He gawks at you, unsure if he should put a stop to this. But he’s already hard and your mouth is heaven. You lightly tap his leg, “I think your viewers are starting to leave though. Should get back to it, babe.”
He springs forward, scooting his chair back into position under the desk and turning his camera and mic back on, making sure to turn the mic sensitivity down as well so it doesn’t catch too much noise.
“Oh, sorry sorry. I don’t know what happened there. The webcam went down and then the mic. Weird stuff. Seems to be working again now, so let’s get back to it.” He trails off, getting back into streamer mode but keeping in the back of his mind that at any moment you’re going to torture him.
You only have so much patience when it comes to teasing Jin and when it comes to wanting to satisfy him at every moment possible. So you wait only two minutes until you see him get close to the highest part of the game he had gotten to previously. That’s when you decide you can’t wait anymore and gently wrap your hand around the base of his cock. You felt it twitch as well as his entire body do a small jolt. You wait for him to resume, and when he does you slowly twist your hand up his perfect but still growing length, pressing your thumb against his tip.
For the most part, the man you love and love to tease is doing just fine. Actually, he’s doing better at the game because he’s putting all his focus into it and not on your hand’s actions. That won’t do. You pull yourself up enough that your head is a little squished between the chair, his thighs, and the desk above you. But it’s the perfect amount of room to form enough spit, lay your tongue flat against his base, and lick straight up, ending with the tip of your tongue kitten licking his tip.
That’s when you know you’re winning. A small, very faint, groan escapes Jin. He tries to pass it off as being frustrated by the mouse not being at the right sensitivity settings for it. You smile, bringing your hand down to massage his balls as you wrap your mouth around his tip, lightly sucking, licking up the precum that is slowly leaking out. You can hear his breathing get a little harder and since the game only requires the mouse and nothing more, his free hand reaches on the table to twist into your hair with his fingers, gripping and slightly pushing your head down.
You go with his ask, easing your head down to try to take as much of him down your throat. His hips jerk up accidentally, causing his cock to hit the back of your throat which causes you to gag and pull off him only a little as your head hits the underside of the desk. You desperately try to keep quiet and suffer in silence while he prattles on about accidentally hitting his knee. He tries to casually hand you his water bottle, but you push it away, swallowing one last time before getting back to it. You relax your throat enough that you can bring him past your gag reflex and your nose is pressed against his pelvis.
His free hand returns to your hair, a more gentle hold on it as he’s using it more as a precautionary tactic to prevent you from hitting your head again. His grip tightens only slightly when you start to swallow, your throat clenching around the tip and quietly gagging around him. His cock twitches slightly and you know he’s close so you almost pull off him all the way, leaving your mouth open to allow your saliva and his precum to drip down his cock, balls, and slide down to his chair. Giving yourself a second to breathe, you grip both of his thighs, getting into a better position on your knees before you begin bobbing your head up and down, using Jin’s hand as a guide of how high up you can go without making too much noise.
Jin, however, is making plenty of noise. Which should concern you. Why is he moaning loudly, whispering things like “Jagi -ah. Ah- just…just like that. Fuck.” on his stream? Again, you should be concerned. But your desire to please your boyfriend outweighs any rational thinking sometimes so you go for deeper bobs, hesitating at the base to swallow around him.
“Jagi, please. I’m going to come. Where? Where?” Instead of responding, you cease the bobbing and wrap your lips around him, sucking like your life depends on it until he lets out a loud high pitched moan like you heard earlier immediately followed by his cock pulsing in your mouth, shooting spurts of his hot white cream down your throat. You swallow immediately, not wanting a single drop to go to waste, and clean him up with your tongue. It’s only once you feel he’s cleaned up that you realize he was a moaning mess on stream. You look at your phone to see This Stream Has Ended. You crawl out from under the desk, glancing up at his computer to confirm that he did, in fact, end the stream at some point.
“Ya! That wasn’t part of the deal!” You yell from the floor, smacking his thigh.
“I wasn’t going to make it! I admitted defeat! I had to end it before we became one of those couples that make porn together!” He shouts back, rubbing over where you just smacked.
You stay seated on the ground, arms crossed, and pouting. That is until you realize he said he admitted defeat. “So you’re saying you lost? You’re a loser?” you quirk an eyebrow up at him.
He slowly nods, “Yeah…I guess so?”
“Great! You owe me for not being quiet and you owe me for not following through with the deal!” You jump up excitedly, grabbing his hand and pulling him off his chair that’s a little sticky now. But that’s a later problem. You make him step out of his pants as you lead him out of the room.
You drag him back to your bedroom, kissing him with everything you’ve got until he pulls away. “Wait wait wait. What are we doing? What do I owe you?” he slightly panics as you unbutton his pajama shirt and push him back on the bed, urging him to slide farther up as you remove your underwear.
“First, for failing to not make a noise, I’m going to sit on your face and you’re going to make me come twice.” You announce with a big smile, crawling on top of him and straddling his chest. “Then, you’re going to make me a delicious brunch because I’m starving after sucking your dick. Sound good and fair, loser?” You lean forward, squishing his cheeks in one hand and giving his big pouty lips a light kiss. He nods. “No, babe. You need to say it. You lost.”
“I lost, you won. Two orgasms and brunch, coming up.” You both laugh, lips pressing back together one more time before you move to line your hips up to his face. His big hands are holding onto your thighs as you lower yourself down to him, grinning.
“Get to work, baby.”
Again, feedback is always appreciated 💜
Aren’t You Pathetic?
⇗ Summary: 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙝𝙞𝙢 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙚, 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙. 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙥𝙖𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙘𝙚 𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙗𝙡𝙚...𝙖𝙩 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙩 𝙄 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙨𝙖𝙮 𝙞𝙩 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙠𝙚𝙙.
⇗ Genre: Smut and Angst
⇗ Words: 1.4k
⇗ Pairing: Jin x Reader
______________
“How do I look?” I looked at my friend as she pursed her lips in dissatisfaction. I know that look, it’s the same look my parents gave me when I told them that I didn’t want to pursue a doctorate. I shrugged her off regardless, continuing to brush the setting powder all over my bruises. I didn’t want anyone to think Seokjin was hurting me on purpose, but accidents happen often.
Sometimes he lets his hand slip, other times an expensive knife. Yet, he’s the only one allowed to touch me. Being the son of the mafia boss, he’s already stressed enough about the expectations that come with taking over his father’s empire. I somehow stumbled upon that world by accident. I ran into him one time and it was just...love at first sight. He asked me out and I accepted. Little did I know that would be the start of something crazy.
After taking me to an expensive restaurant and paying the bill, I suspected something was off. All the people around us were quiet, too quiet. It was like the entire world was parting like the red sea just for us. It took me a moment to realize it, it was as if I had stumbled into the middle of a movie. An attractive, rich young man only a few years older than me was definitely connected to the mafia. He told me on the fourth date. We took our time getting to know each other, and everything was calm before I heard a gunshot. Suddenly he was pulling me under the table and I heard glass shattering. I felt my heartbeat in my toes and as I panted I could hear everything that Seokjin was saying amplified.
“Hey, look at me. I need you to get out of here. I’ll call you when I’m safe again, okay?” That was the first red flag. He was calm, holding my shoulders steady and looking at me with concern in his eyes. He was genuinely worried about me as I nodded, dashing out the door and expecting to never see him again. As he looked back at me, I felt my heart jump back up to my ribcage and back to my feet again.
I watched as he pointed a gun straight at the sniper and shot him down with one bullet. I realized one thing and that was that he never missed. Even though that night was terrifying for me, being with Seokjin was thrilling. He was an interesting person on his own and the fact that he was in the mafia just made it all the more exciting. Perhaps I have a lust for danger, or maybe I’m just straight up stupid but I craved it. I wanted to meet him again.
After no contact with him for two weeks straight, I started losing hope. Suddenly all the other men became boring and the only person I had on my mind was Seokjin. His tall, hot physique, his pink, pouty, kissable lips and his straight, brown hair that elegantly showed his forehead, making him appear more refined as he was already hunky to begin with. I continued putting my effort into my looks and my diet, making sure I looked good when the time came for me to see Seokjin again.
That’s when I ran into him again, on the way back from work one day. He was wearing sunglasses and a beige trench coat but his bodyguard made him way too noticeable. He had also dyed his hair blonde. I never imagined he could pull off platinum blonde, but here he was, looking more handsome than ever.
“Is this really happening?” I touched his arms as he untucked them from his pocket, and he looked around as if someone was coming to take me away.
“Not here. Who knows where they’ll strike next? Come with me.” He grabbed my hand and led me away from the crowded road to a more suspicious looking location.
“Where are we going?” I started feeling twisting in my gut but as we locked eyes, I felt calm again. He stayed silent as he led me there and when we went into the unlocked warehouse, I saw all of his henchmen standing in a line as Jin sat down at a table in the middle, urging me to sit down too.
“I normally don’t get close with women because many of them might be spies sent to kill me so I wanted to make sure I could trust you first before we made things official.” I was a little lost when he started talking, his lips just looked so delectable, but he also never asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend before. We’d never talked about it. We were dating but we didn’t have any titles, right?
“Okay, shoot,” You saw his bodyguard start to pull the trigger before he waved him off. “I mean, uh, bad phrasing. Don’t shoot, please.”
“Where do you work?”
“Random Jeans.”
“What do you know about the mafia?”
“You’re a part of it.”
“If you found out I was going to die would you attempt to save me?” His last question got me. What did he mean by “attempt?’ Were there girls that would actually walk all over his gorgeous ass rather than pick him up when he needed it the most?
“Why wouldn’t I? You’re my boyfriend, aren’t you?” He answered me with a grin.
We’ve been inseparable ever since. After he questioned me, we started dating again, in more private settings. Seokjin was okay with sending his guards away so we could be alone, he told me things that he hadn’t told another soul. The man trusted me more than his father. I had even given him a nickname “Cupcake” because he’s an actual sweetheart behind the facade he puts on as the mafia leader’s son.
After one steamy night in particular, Seokjin made the first move. He showed me his tattoos on his back and as my fingers made contact with his skin, he shivered and we quickly made our way to the bed, fully naked with our limbs entangled. After that night, he just got progressively rougher each time in the bedroom. Not that I didn’t mind, he was absolutely godlike in the sheets.
Then, one day, he hit me. I remember holding my cheek and crying, yelling at him as he apologized and said it was an accident. And then I told him I needed time and walked away for a while. That was our first fight. I could tell he regretted it immediately after but then...things just kept going South from there. As I fell more deeply in love with him, the more twisted he became. He started putting off dates and only beckoning me to come to the bedroom with him. Then sometimes, he would wrap his hands around my neck, fucking me with no mercy. My body was abused, bruised, and it was all this man’s fault.
He stopped kissing me for a while too, at some point even going for two rounds and then falling asleep. No aftercare, nothing. Now my face had healed quite a bit, but there was still a bruise painting one quarter of my cheek. My friend knew there was something going on but she didn’t understand that Jin is it for me. I want him and if this is the only way I can have him, then I’ll gladly take this chance.
“There you are,” He greeted me with a prolonged, open-mouthed kiss. We basically made out in front of his henchmen but I didn’t give a shit. “I wanted to ask you if you’re ready to do something for me.”
“Like what?” I felt something in my gut, the uneasy feeling was back.
“I want you to kill someone for me.” Oh my god.
“What?” I was appalled, what was my boyfriend asking of me?
“Someone is trying to kill me so I want you to sneak up behind them and take them out...permanently.”
“Jin, this isn’t some sort of game. Killing another human being has consequences. Unless you’re in the mafia. Which I’m not.”
“I’m the big boss, sweetheart. Luckily for you, I’m all the way at the top. I assure you, there will be no consequences.”
He lied.
“P-Please don’t do this.” I begged as he cocked the gun at me. kim
“Sorry sweetheart, it’s part of the business. I need to take you out...permanently.” He blamed me for the leak and now we’re here. I’m sure he’ll pull the trigger. There’s no doubt with how cold and glassy his eyes are. The man I knew once is long gone.
“Why did I have to fall in love with a gangster?”
Bang.
Star that flowers bloom and sky is blue; Real beauty is actually you
You are my earth; I am just a moon to you.
BTS JIN – Moon
우리 WWH 생일 축하해 하늘만큼 땅만큼 너를 사랑해 ♡
Fave Fics (Recs)
My happy place of BTS fics by other writers (for my own BTS fics, they can be found here).
Listed in no particular order.
Adult / Mature Content. 🔞
KSJ:
1. Let it Sparkle by lamourche - The most beautifully whimsical, magical story. Gave me wonderful Joan Aiken vibes. A perfectly dreamy escape.
2. The Platonic Collection by joheunsaram - Never thought I'd enjoy dominance and submission, but this was done so well, I fell right in love.
3. On The Ropes by raplinesmoon - Hauntingly, achingly raw. Melancholy at its finest.
4. Blue Hour by raplinesmoon - A follow-up to On The Ropes. Love finds a way. Hope finds a way. The Romantic in me is sobbing.
5. All I Don’t Want for Christmas Is You! by minisugakoobies - Hot, angry sex with KSJ + Maknae Line running amok + blissfully domestic Sope = a rollicking fun holiday read.
6. the devil wears armani by floralseokjin - This made me pray for Hell. Who needs angels when the devil is KSJ in a suit?
7. Girls Want Love and Aguardiente y Limon by raplinesmoon - A level of wantonness that’ll have you on your knees, begging for more. Please, Daddy. More.
8. once bitten, twice shy by fantasybangtan - Side-splittingly funny, soul-stirringly fluffy, with a smidgen of angst, and oodles of Yuletide cheer.
9. Piece by Piece by underthejoon - Like bite-sized pieces of candy: some sticky sweet like caramel, others darkly bitter like pure cacao, all of which you'll devour in one sitting before savouring the heady aftertaste.
~~~
KNJ:
1. lacuna by eoieopda - A wistful whirl of recollections, unfulfilled possibilities, and the reunifying of two souls who should never have been apart.
~~~
MYG:
1. Want a Taste? by suga-kookiemonster - Tongue Technology that's dangerous and delicious. Will also give you massive Auntie Anne's cravings.
2. I Wanna Hold Your Hand by minisugakoobies - As warming and sweet as a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows on a cold day.
~~~
KTH:
1. Let it Snow by suga-kookiemonster - The first BTS fic I ever read. Still can't believe this isn't a published book.
~~~
JJK:
1. Ego Series by suga-kookiemonster - A truly delectable slow burn. Start this series in the morning (unless you want to stay up all night reading), because it's unputdownable.
~~~
PJM:
1. Lovely Demons by kpopfanfictrash - A fantasy underworld so breathtakingly crafted, you'd be tempted to linger forever.
~~~
JHS:
1. On Bended Knee by minisugakoobies - Short and sweet and stuffed to the brim with witty humour, sexiness, and charm.
2. Piece by Piece by underthejoon - Like bite-sized pieces of candy: some sticky sweet like caramel, others darkly bitter like pure cacao, all of which you'll devour in one sitting before savouring the heady aftertaste.
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OT7:
1. BTS Masterlist by kpopfanfictrash - It's all magic. Take your pick, and get lost in hours of pure pleasure.
2. Bound Series by kpopfanfictrash and underthejoon - 7 gorgeous stories about love, fate, and destiny.
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happy birthday to one of the most talented and kindest souls, kim seokjin!