Empty - Park Jimin
pairing: park jimin x y/n
genre: angst ❄️, fluff ☁️
warnings: eating disorder, verbal child abuse
notes/comments: Please please please please please do not follow any of the diets/eating habits mentioned in this fic, it’s very dangerous and I can tell you that from personal experience. I’ve always struggled with my weight and I was hoping to express how I’ve felt about it through a written piece. If you are struggling with any of the problems in this fic or any eating disorders I strongly advise against reading. Thank you 💜
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You stared at your half dressed figure in the mirror, fighting back tears. After a month of extreme dieting and exercise, the huge drop in numbers was clearly evident on the scale. However, to your utter disappointment, your body appeared to have not changed at all. When you looked in the mirror, all you could see was the fat that clung to your body. You often wondered how you had friends, or even a boyfriend, considering how ugly you were.
Since childhood, you had always struggled with your weight. At first, it was no big deal, you didn’t care much for your weight as you cared more for sleeping and eating. But as you grew older, your father’s snide comments slowly caught up to you. Whenever you piled your dish a little higher than usual, or whenever you asked for second servings, your father would always make it clear how he felt. From pointing out all the fat on your waist and thighs, to straight up calling you fat to your face, he would always make it clear that he didn’t approve of your eating habits or your weight.
Once, at a family gathering, he had even called you an elephant in front of all your relatives, talking about how you didn’t fit in some of your old dresses anymore. You had held it in, but that night and every night for the following week, you had cried yourself to sleep. It was at that point that your mental barriers began to break down, and you began to care more about your weight than any other feature of yourself.
You never opened up to anyone about your problems, because you didn’t want to get made fun of. You knew that you were visibly overweight, but when you were around your friends, you did your best to put on a mask of positivity. To act like nothing has been bothering you at all. But it wasn’t until you met Jimin, when you were finally able to open up to someone who understood how you felt, and what you were going through. And it was such huge relief to be able to vent to someone who actually cared about you.
Speaking of Jimin, you quickly threw on your pants as you heard your boyfriend call out to you.
“Hey, Y/N, you done yet?”
“I’m almost ready! Give me a minute.”
As you heard his footsteps approaching your shared room, you quickly grabbed the closest top you could find, which happened to be the sweatshirt you kept stealing from him. The door swung open as you turned away from Jimin, trying to hide your face. But his keen eyes quickly caught the traces of tears on your cheeks as you shuffled away from the mirror.
“Hey, are you okay?”
“Yeah.”
You willed your voice to not waver, but it was no use.
“I’m fine, I’m just in a mood.”
Jimin slowly approached you and hugged you from behind, facing the mirror. He knew what was going on, he always did. And he was always there for you.
“Babe, you’re the prettiest girl that I’ve ever met. It doesn’t matter how much you weigh, there are so many other things that are important about you too.”
You turned away from his gaze in the mirror, but he spun you around to face him, lifting your chin up to meet his eyes.
“And if I’m being completely honestly, I think your weight is perfect too. There isn’t a single thing about you that isn’t perfect to me.”
You couldn’t find the words to respond, you never could, but you buried your face into Jimin’s chest as you felt your eyes begin to water again. He brought one of your hands up to your head, and stroked your hair. You both stood there for quite a while, until your tears dried up.
“Hey, let’s go get some food, okay? You need to eat.”
You stepped away, and gently shook your head, a wave of dizziness overcoming you.
“Go ahead without me, I’m not hungry right now.”
A flash of sadness overcame his features, but was quickly replaced by disappointment as your stomach rumbled out loud.
“Y/N, you need to stop starving yourself. It’s not going to help you at all, you need food, your body needs food!”
“No, I’m fine. I’ve already had so much food today.”
Jimin shook his head angrily.
“No, you have to eat. I’m not going to let you starve yourself the way I did. Y/N, it’s hurting me. I can see the way you’ve grown weak, I’m not blind.”
You just shook your head more vigorously, as he stepped forward to wrap you in his arms. You tried to fight back, but it was no use.
“Please Jimin, just let me be. I said I’m fine.”
Jimin scooped you up bridal style and headed out of your bedroom.
“But you’re not. And as your boyfriend, it’s my responsibility to make sure that you are. So I will make sure that you eat, whether I have to feed you or not.”
He placed you down on the couch, and sat himself down next to you. You turned to face him, resisting the urge to smile.
“Then I guess you’re going to have to feed me.”
Jimin smiled at you slyly, before placing an order at your favorite restaurant. And when the food arrived, he made sure to feed you every last morsel on your plate.
You were so glad that you had Jimin at your side. You knew that this wasn’t something that you were going to get over easily, but with his support, you knew that one day you’d both be able to work on it, bit by bit.
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