SUMMARY. Your older boyfriend Jimin is the epitome of patience—kind, gentle, and endlessly composed, because this is definitely not his first rodeo. But every man has his limits, and patient, loving Jimin has his too. Your first night staying over teaches you what it really means to be touched by a man.
word count. 7.9k
warnings. dom!jimin x sub!reader, age gap, jimin is in early 30’s reader is in early 20s, nasty filthy smut, NSFW, penetration, oral sex, bulging kink, praise, unprotected sex, dacryphilia, light coercion theme but nothing crazy, creampie, jimin has a beautiful cock (canon), jimin is louddd in bed (also canon)
note. another jimin fic!! this was entirely inspired by his recent live, his voice was so soothing and calm, i couldn’t stop letting my mind wander to older bf!jimin im so sorry for the delay in posting, i had some things come up in my personal time and i didn’t have as much time to write. im planning to drop more fics in quick succession so stay tuned!! love you guys so much, and thank you so much for the comments and anonymous messages i appreciate them so much and they encourage me to write more and more. you guys are the best and i hope you enjoy this fic because it a litttlleee different from what i usually write. also all characters in this fic are fictional and do not reflect on any real life person, jimin was simply used as inspiration but this does not reflect on him. pls check warnings before you read.
Jimin was an incredibly patient man, you’d come to realize. He held open doors for you, refilled your wine glass, and cracked open your jars when you cooked. He showed up when you were drunk at the club to drive you home, put up with your millions of questions, and let you tease him about his small hands. That was one of the many pluses of pursuing an older guy, you thought. They were too experienced to be annoyed.
But his patience was now making the pits of your stomach sour and tightening at your throat.
You knew he was a gentleman; he would never push. But you didn’t want to disappoint the somehow incredibly gorgeous man who had fallen into your orbit. When he had requested to stay the night, you’d agreed eagerly, letting a string of quick “yes’s” fall out of your lips on the phone. But you knew what that usually meant, and you weren’t sure how to go about it. It wasn’t like the thought of fucking him was anything less than surreal, but you were the type that spiraled into a spitball of anxiety at even the merest of tasks, getting to this stage with Jimin was eating you alive.
Your gentle-toned, dulcet voice, Jimin, was perched by your side, leaning in as you showed him your Prime Day shopping cart. You liked having him so close; his scent was always a subtle mixture of soap and an earthy, masculine cologne that was probably much more expensive than you realized.
“And I thought about refilling my primer, but this one is on discount, so I might get the more expensive one.” You added, jabbing a finger at the computer screen.
“Hmm..” Jimin hummed, running a tight hand through his hair. How sweet, you thought. He always gave his full consideration to your questions, no matter how insignificant they were. “Seems like a decent idea. But you know they hike prices up before it actually goes on sale.”
“Oh, I didn’t even consider that.” You said quickly, and drew in your bottom lip between your teeth, giving it a contemplative bite. Your eyebrows were scrunched in thought. Jimin chuckled and pinched your cheek.
“Make a decision, kid.” He urged. You grinned in response; the nickname was so overused by him, but you loved it nonetheless.
You scrolled further, adding to your cart, and Jimin rested his head completely on your shoulder. His black frames reflected the blue light of your laptop, and you reached up, running an affectionate hand through his hair. He smiled.
“Ooh, how about we get you a new wallet? I know yours looks fucked.” You chimed, your nose scrunched up in thought.
Jimin chuckled, a honey rumble that vibrated across the skin of your neck. If he noticed the sudden goosebumps rising on your skin, he didn’t comment. “That’s very sweet of you, you don’t have to do that though.”
“But I want to.” You emphasized while typing in the search bar. Jimin was generous with his money, unreasonably so, and you snatched at any opportunity you could take to treat him, even if it was a measly thirty bucks wallet.
A comfortable silence stretched between you two as you got absorbed in your hunt. Your mind was so fogged in concentration, you couldn’t even feel Jimin's heated gaze making its way to your doe features, taking in your pouted expression with an unwarranted hunger.
“You’re always so good to me.” He said. His hot breath gristled at your ear, and you instinctively flinched. Jimin wanted to coo at your innocent reaction, how sweet and malleable you were.
“Well, I like taking care of you.” You rested your head on his, but your eyes didn’t leave your screen.
Jimin felt a bubble of excitement, and the perfect opportunity to leer you in. “Yeah?”
“Mhmmm..” You nodded and rubbed your soft cheek against his ear.
Jimin suddenly shifted his head and sat up slightly, turning his head completely towards you. Suddenly, you became all too aware of how intense his eyes were. A feature you’d noticed before, but felt unusually predatory with his full attention on you. Your throat bobbed, but you couldn’t manage the weight of returning his gaze, so you kept your attention fixated on the laptop.
Your fingers started trembling lightly, and you started clicking on random products. Not bothered by whether they were relevant in any way.
Jimin could sense your unease from miles away, a characteristic of you he’d grown to adore. What a cute girl.
He couldn’t help but want to push at your nerves more, wanting to see when you would relinquish control and give in to his searing eyes. “You wanna take care of me more, kid?”
Your mouth opened and closed like a fish, but you didn’t dare to turn your head, "W-what do you mean, Jimin?”
Jimin hummed in response and took in your rapidly blinking eyes, like you were trying to blink away his undeniable presence. He didn’t say anything, but ran the pads of his fingers in a loose circle across your clothed thigh.
You jolted at the sudden touch, and you swore your hands looked lifeless as they clutched your laptop for dear life. Your knuckles went white, but you didn’t let go. You were silent, as if you moved, Jimin would pounce on you and eat you alive. Or maybe that was what you wanted to happen.
Jimin only felt bolder at your weighted silence. The rational part of him would stop now and realize he was pushing at you far too quickly. And god had kept his rational side afloat for far too long with you, but now he wanted to nudge at your discomfort a bit more. To see how far you’d really let him take things.
He continued his slow, burning circles and smirked lightly at your breath, visibly catching in your throat. “I’m asking..” He paused. You brought a finger up to your mouth to nibble at your cuticle, “For you to look at me.”
You paused, fully, completely. Your laptop hummed uselessly against your lap. Jimin reached a ringed hand out and closed the screen. The darkness of your apartment took over, succumbing to the lack of little illumination your screen was providing. You turned your head slowly to look at him, eyes wide and glassed over in anticipation.
“I-I was looking for wallets for you, though, Ji-” You started, but were shushed by the older man beside you. His fingers kept swirling on your thigh lightly, pressing in only enough to trace the texture of your smooth skin.
You looked at him like a deer caught in headlights, blinking sweetly at him. Jimin wanted to see those same eyes when he finally plunged into your poor pussy.
“Much better.” He cooed, his fingers danced across to the middle of your thigh, starting to pace up and down instead of in spirals. “Am I making you uncomfortable?”
You wanted to die there and then. He had been so patient, so kind to you, and you were making him feel like he was committing a crime by wanting to touch you. In fact, his soft touch was evoking something in you that you didn’t know you could feel.
“No!” You said far too quickly, “No, no, of course you’re not.”
Jimin only sighed at your response and let his fingers crawl to your inner thigh. You froze further, and your bottom lip started to quiver. You wanted to fill the tension starting to build between you two, “You’re always so patient with me, Jimin.”
He nodded, “That I am..” His thumb brushed further up, but still not near your most sensitive area. You wanted to swallow in your awkward demeanor so bad, and you tried to slowly build the courage to do something.
“Then don’t you think I deserve you by now?”
You gaped at him, his supple voice ringing in the shell of your ear, “Deserve.. Me?”
He chuckled to himself at your dumbfounded expression and tapped a finger on your chin, “Deserve you.” He let you sit in the nervous, tense string of energy building between you, watching your fingers mess with a string on the couch. You were trying to find something to say, obviously.
He tilted his head, leaning back, and continued, keeping his hand on your thigh. “I’ve been patient with you, you know,” he said. “Followed your pace, even when you start those little games, trying me, then pulling away like you didn’t mean to.”
Your eyes widened. “I’m not playing any games!” you said quickly.
He tilted his head, “Yeah?”
“I’m not! I promise I’m not. I’m just..” You blinked rapidly, scratching at the couch. Jimin’s fingers ran down your leg, prompting you to continue. You gnawed at your lip, “Nervous...” You finished.
“Nervous,” he repeated, almost to himself. “Yeah, I figured.”
“I’ve been careful with you, though, haven’t I?” he said finally. His voice was quiet, but it carried an authority that made your stomach flip. “Haven’t pushed. Haven’t asked for more than you could give.”
You nodded, small and hesitant.
“And I could be more persistent,” He continued, “I really could.”
You swallowed.
“I just want to make you feel good, you don’t trust me yet, do you, kid?” He squeezed your thigh expectantly.
“I do, Jimin, I swear I do.” You put your hand on top of his weighted one. Eager to please, Jimin thought. So willing.
“Then let me do that, baby. Let me touch you.” He reached over and ran the back of his knuckle over your cheek. You shut your eyes and breathed out, thinking, head running a mile a minute.
“Okay.” You said simply nodding, your heart thudded against your chest with force.
Jimin felt his cock twitch in his pants, but steadied himself. “Good, so stop holding your breath every time I get close.”
You let out a rush of air and finally turned your head completely towards him, eyes sparkling. He traced a shape into your thigh before running his hand up to the curve of your ass, fixated on your cautious soft expressions. You eyed his hands curiously, but made no move to flinch away.
He squeezed, and you gasped.
“Come here.” He patted his lap, signaling for you to get on his lap. You paused before gripping onto the couch and shifting your body up before swinging a leg over his seated body. Your body was stiff and awkward, but Jimin couldn't care less. You were letting him in; he’d pushed just the right amount, and he knew you were gonna warm up further. His courage was soaring.
“Good girl.” That drew a soft smile from you, and you blushed, looking up at him shyly through your lashes. Jimin’s greed took over, and he pressed his hand into the small of your back to push you deeper into him. Your noses brushed together.
“Jimin-” You started, but he cut you off by connecting your lips. The kiss started off peckish and soft, like every other time you guys had kissed before. But he couldn’t be satisfied with a soft tease anymore.
You felt the change before you could name it — the way his breath deepened, how his hand at your waist stopped holding and started restraining. The air between you grew heavier, the kind that hummed with something pent.
Soon enough, Jimin’s hands were spanning the expanse of your bare back under your shirt, as his lips bruised yours. His tongue roamed freely in your mouth, as if exploring every oral crevice. You were still perched on his lap sweetly, legs on either side of his beautiful frame, and your greedy, eager hands wandered the front of his shirtless body, tracing over every inch of pale skin presented to you. Your fingers danced across the tatted words on his ribs and then up his sternum, tracing over the protruding bones. Jimin sucked and nibbled at your lower lip, watching amused as the color shifted from a lovely peach to a passionate, juicy red.
Most of all, he watched your eyes dance back and forth under your eyelids, and the slight clench between your brows as your senses were overwhelmed by the older man. You were trying to take in everything all at once, the feeling of his warm, bare skin pressed against your clothed one, the lactonic smell of his freshly washed hair brushing your forehead, and the way his plump, round lips decorated the width of your mouth with cloy kisses. Jimin wanted more of his sweet girl, no, needed more of his sweet girl. Who was so eager to please him in any form.
He let your bunny kisses continue for a little bit, letting your hands press at various parts of him before he gripped your wrists lightly. You stilled, like you did something wrong, and your eyes fluttered open.
“Tell me one more time you’re okay with this.” He insisted.
You nodded quickly, “Yes, I am, I promise.” You didn’t want to stop, the feeling of his tender skin still under your fingertips.
Jimin’s eyes trailed across your face, your bruised pout, and the dewy flush travelling down your cheekbones; he bore into your eyes to search for any signs of uncertainty, but only received your widely dilated pupils.
“Okay.” His grip on your wrists tightened, but not enough to bruise, and you blinked up at him. “You wanna make me feel good, baby?”
His hand started pushing one of yours down his sinuous torso, and you gasped out, catching on. “Y-yes.. But I’m not too good-”
“I’ll guide you, sweetheart.” He released one of your wrists, still guiding the other down at a minuscule pace. His other ringed hand went to the waistband of his grey sweatpants and tugged lightly, revealing the black band of his boxers. Your eyes were trained on his movements, hypnotized.
He kept pushing your hand down his body until your fingers brushed at the very beginnings of his dark, happy trail. He had to suppress a moan, feeling your delicate touch was lighting sparks under his skin. God, he’d been looking forward to this more than he imagined.
He watched your thumb brush at the waistband of his boxers, and he started speaking, but was cut off by your mellow voice, “Can I, Jimin?” Of course, you asked for his permission, he thought. You were so good to him.
“Of course you can, baby.” Your hand disappeared beneath his sweatpants, and you gave a light experimental squeeze to his clothed cock. Jimin’s hands were still steady on your wrist, and he groaned out, cursing under his breath.
Your gaze snapped up at the addictive sound, and you gave another light squeeze; his cock jumped underneath the thin cloth, and you started to feel a sticky substance leak from the pulsing thick tissue. Jimin bucked his hips up at your hand instinctively, and you felt his precum leak through and stick to your palm.
You let out a small noise of appreciation, removing your hand. Jimin watched as you brought up your hand to your mouth and licked at the precum stuck to your palm, “Salty.” He almost came right there and then, your innocent but charged gesture messed with his mind further.
“Shit.” He cursed, and a vein in his forehead twitched. He guided your hand back into his pants, this time under his sticky boxers. Your blush deepened as you made contact with his thick cock, and you wrapped your hand around it. God, he was thick; your hand could barely wrap around him. He moved your wrist back and forth, making you give him slow, deliberate pumps. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down.
“Jimin..” You said softly, circling your thumb on his plump tip.
“Doing so good, sweetheart, fuck..” He started, shifting your hand faster, and a lewd schlick schlick schlick filled the room along with his deep, hot panting.
He twisted your wrist so you pumped him at an angle and bit down on his lower lip, suffocating his sounds. His moans were so unbelievably sweet, you noted, his sighs and breathy moans dripping out of your ears like sugary sap.
Without his guidance, you sped your hand up, and Jimin loosened his grip, letting you pump him with a tight grip. His cock twitched occasionally in your palm, and his precum started to drip down his member, making a sappy mess in his boxers that neither of you cared for. You felt drunk watching Jimin croon his head back into the couch as you pleasured him, his mouth open in a round “o” shape, revealing his two cute crooked front teeth that you loved.
You swore you were more turned on than him; the wetness of his velvet cock mirrored the warmth pooling between your own legs. All you could think about was making the older man finish.
Jimin bucked his hips a final time before his cum spurted out of his cock, thick white heat coating your smaller hand, his boxers and sweatpants now branded with his release. Jimin’s chest heaved as he brought his head back, narrowing his eyes at your awed expression. You gasped at the sensation of his hot release and watched your hand as you took off his pants. Your fingers were sticky and webbed.
Jimin caught his breath, “You wanna give it a taste for me?”
“Yes..” You said hushed, and brought a finger to your mouth, sucking it like a lollipop.
Jimin cursed, “Fuck.. Good girl.”
Your tongue wrapped around your second finger, liking the salty musky taste.
“You like how I taste?” He brought a loving hand and stroked the back of your head.
“Yes, tastes so good, Jimin.” You murmured as you licked the last of his release off your own hand, “Did I do good?”
“So good, such a good job, sweetheart.” He cooed.
You were floating, bubbly with a weird kind of pride, high off the look in his eyes and how you’d made him sound. The glow took up most of the oxygen in your lungs, dizzy and sweet.
He smiled, lazy and slow, chest still heaving up and down. “Come here.” He beckoned with a flick of his index finger, and you crawled up to nuzzle your nose against his, relishing the silk-heat of his skin. He pulled you against him, so close you could feel his heartbeat, bruising and quick. His hand drifted under your shirt again and quickly found the clasp of your bra. Your breath caught in your throat as Jimin’s fingers messed with the metal hooks before releasing them.
“Gonna get this off of you, baby.” He voiced and reached up, removing the beige straps from your shoulders. “Hands up.”
You raised your arms over your head, and Jimin eased off your oversized shirt.
You let out a shy inhale as your round breasts were bared to him, your nipples pebbled in the cool air-conditioned air of your apartment. Goosebumps rose across your arms as his gaze fell upon you.
“God… you’re gorgeous.” He cupped one breast with a hand and squeezed lightly, savoring the weight of it in the palm of his hand. His mouth salivated, and he wanted nothing more than to feel the bud in his mouth. He bent down, bringing his other hand to cup the other one before wrapping his whole mouth around the swell of your breast. He sucked gingerly before zoning in on your nipple. His tongue flicked at it in short up and down motions, and he tugged at it with his teeth, an action that caused your already overwhelmed nerves to light on fire. You squirmed in his lap, hands fixed on his broad shoulders for purchase.
Jimin glanced up, watching you sway in pleasure on top of him, and offered your other swollen breast similar treatment. He ran his tongue the pebbled span of your areola before sucking passionately at your erect nipple.
You sighed and played with his hair, curving your head down to rest on his. Jimin’s mouth was so hot on your already heated, flushed skin, and it felt like he was leaving a trail of crimson kisses all over your chest. You were getting impatient. His mouth on your tits could only satisfy a fraction of your mind, the rest chanting more, more, more, more, more.
You got carried away and gave an impatient tug at his hair, and Jimin broke free from your spit-slick nipple to look up at you once more, grinning ear to ear. “Getting impatient, huh?”
You nodded eagerly, “More, I want more.”
Jimin pressed an open-mouth kiss in the valley of your breasts and hummed in agreement, “I want more too, baby.”
He broke away from your skin to shuffle to the couch, tossing pillows roughly onto the floor and pushing the soft blanket away that covered the two of you just minutes before. He shuffled, before shifting his hips and lying your bare back onto the couch, before climbing over you. His silver chain dangled over you like a loose thread of moonlight, hitting your chin as he shifted.
The new angle of Jimin had a familiar warmth creep back between your legs, and you pressed your still clothed thighs together. He looked so good on top of you, like he was caging you into his delicious prison.
You arched up onto him, searching for something to relieve you from the slickness that was sticking to your thighs.
Jimin reached down and connected your lips for the thousandth time. You pressed your soft breasts into his toned chest, hands gripping at his shoulders in the newfound angle.
“You wanted more, didn’t you, baby?” He reminded, pulling away from your lips with a string of spit. You let out a soft whimper at the loss of his hot mouth, and Jimin pressed his half-hard, clothed cock on your upper thigh.
“Speak.” He demanded.
“Yes.. more..” You said with a pink, glossy pout.
“Let’s get you out of these, then.” His hand trailed down the edge of your shorts. “Be good and lift your hips for me.”
You hesitated, a mix of excitement and anxiety swirling in your gut. But the way he looked at you, with that predatory hunger, made it hard to refuse. You slowly complied, raising your hips, and he took that opportunity to hook his fingers into the waistband.
With a swift motion, he pulled your shorts down. Jimin was immediately in awe. Your panties were a delicate shade of pastel pink with the cutest satin bow perched right at your pubic bone. The panties were thin enough to peek at your folds, the fabric clinging to you, soaked with your slick. The cool air heightened the already wet, warm feeling between your legs. You gasped softly, and your soft plush thighs started to close, but Jimin’s hand stopped them quickly.
“Come on, sweetheart..” He coaxed, “Don’t close up on me now.” His fingers trailed gently in the middle of your clothed pussy, checking how wet you were. He groaned out, god, you were soaked already. Jimin wanted nothing more than to bury his cock deep in you already and see what you really looked like under the pretty material.
“Jimin.. ” You whined out at the sudden sensation, and Jimin sighed in response, letting the pads of his fingers press gently where your clothed clit would be. He twirled a circle shape, watching you jolt and slither underneath him at the light stimulation. He knew you would be reactive; he could tell just from how jumpy you were before, but this was nothing like he had imagined. He leaned down and flicked the pretty bow with the tip of his tongue, and your tummy tightened at the warm air of his breath.
Jimin took the opportunity to glide off your panties slowly down your legs till they pooled at your ankles. You crossed your legs, denying him the sight of your glossy pussy, and averted your gaze shyly.
“Don’t hide from me,” he murmured, his voice smooth and commanding. “You know I want to see you.” His palm pressed against your inner thigh firmly, and he pushed your legs open. His hips stuttered against your thigh, taken aback at the delicious sight of your tiny, slick pussy, so flushed and swollen already without him even touching it. His mouth watered; he couldn’t believe this was all his.
“Fuck.” He cursed and stopped his delicate dance on your inner thigh to run a finger up your slit, collecting your arousal. Your hips jumped, and you buried your head into the side of the couch, but Jimin was too entranced to notice. He brought his finger to his lips, tasting your arousal, and sighed at the sugared taste.
“So fucking sweet..” He breathed out. He pushed himself down, belly flat between your legs till he was nose level to your pussy and gripped both of your thighs, scooting you down and slapped the side of your thigh, “Put your legs on me.” He commanded, and you complied, exhilarated by the rough edge of his voice. Your knees bent, and you placed your ankles on his shoulders. You were wide open for him to see and devour.
You swallowed hard, the sensation of vulnerability mixed with excitement coursing through you. Jimin leaned in closer, his breath fanning over your slick core, teasingly close yet tantalizingly out of reach. “Breathe for me, baby.” His voice was measured despite the insanity coursing through him. You obeyed, of course, letting out an exhale. “And watch me, okay?”
You nodded, and Jimin dove in. His tongue started lapping thick stripes on your pussy lips, before he dove his tongue pointedly between your lips. He licked and savored the honeyed sap, letting it stick to his chin, his nose, and all over his mouth. He ate you like he was starving, and you were his death row meal. His mouth didn’t stop for a second, and he decorated your little pussy with open-mouth kisses.
Underneath him, you thrashed, arching up into the air and then wiggling your hips as much as you could under his unyielding, stone-like hands. Jimin grunted and softly pinched your thigh, urging you to stay in place so he could continue his attack. His tongue poked around in search of your clit, and when he finally located it, he nudged at the swollen nub. Your hands sprang to his hair, and you dug your fingers into his scalp, which Jimin relished. He nudged at your clit further before finally wrapping his lips around the button and giving it a passionate suck.
“Oh my god!” You cried out, and Jimin hummed in amusement, lapping and sucking at it with vigor. He slowly let go of one of your thighs and brought his fingers to your pussy. He broke free and looked up at you completely, letting his fingers start to play with your folds. The sounds coming from between your legs were obscene, a syrupy noise that echoed in your living room as his fingers ran up and down and then hovered lightly on your clit. His eyes were trained on you, angled and narrowed as he watched you curl back into the couch, hair fanning out over your jiggling breasts.
“Didn’t I tell you to look at me?” His voice was soft, not to draw you out of the glorious hum of pleasure you were absorbed in.
You brought your head up and fixed your gaze on his. Slowly, delicately, Jimin entered his index finger into you and curled it just enough. He hissed at the feeling of your plush walls, massaging his digit, even the light intrusion inducing a reaction from your body.
Your mouth fell open into an O shape, but your gaze didn’t move from his. Jimin wanted to kiss you more than ever. Your cheeks were so red, your eyebrows were pushed together and upwards, and your lips were bruised beyond belief. You looked so fucked out, which was funny because he hadn’t even had the chance to fuck you yet.
“That’s it..” He cooed, “You’re feeling so good, aren’t you?”
“Yes, yes, yes, yes, I am. “ You whined, high-pitched and desperate. He pumped his finger in and out, watching your pussy drool out onto the couch. His thumb of his other hand nudged at your clit, rubbing gentle circles and pressing into it. Jimin added another thick finger, and your cunt squelched in response. He picked up his pace, stuffing you as much as he could so his silver rings kissed your sticky lips. You were practically singing from pleasure, his fingers massaging spots in you you could never reach.
He curled his fingers and increased his pace once more. The squelches of your pussy deafened your whines, and you brought your hand to grace over Jimin’s wrist. Not to stop, just to feel.
“My sweet girl, you feel so tight around my fingers.” He affirmed. His fingers started to get rougher, now jolting your body up and down with each jab, and he leaned down and started lapping at your bud once more.
“So good! So good!” You chanted, “Feels so good!”
The rough texture of his tongue twisting on your cunt and his intense fingers had the coil in your belly tighten and tighten even further. You gripped onto his wrist harder, and Jimin let you, but didn’t stop.
“I know, baby. Shit, I know, come on. Cum for me.” He murmured. God, your pussy was sweet. He was almost mad at you; you held this from him for so long that he had to push so much to finally get you to relent.
“I’m gonna, fuck, I’m gonna-” You couldn’t finish your sentence, head so warped. Suddenly, it was like your orgasm seized you. You clamped your thighs around his head as the coil snapped. Your vision swirled, and your body trembled as you came. Jimin didn’t ease despite how caught up you were. His fingers stayed in you, curling and uncurling as your walls spasmed like a heartbeat. His nose stayed nudged in your folds, and your juices leaked out pathetically, making a mess on your couch.
When you finally calmed, your head dropped back onto the couch, eyes fluttering open and closed to regain yourself. Jimin eased his fingers out, and you flinched at the loss, and he turned his head, kissing at your inner thigh before suckling at a tender spot. You were quiet for a moment before you sighed out his name, and he nipped at you gently.
“Came so hard, didn’t you?” He said getting out from in between your legs and pushing his body up to be face to face with you.
You nodded slowly.
“Told you I’d make you feel good, right?” Jimin smiled.
“Mhmm.” You reached up and wrapped your arms around his neck. “You did.”
“You wanna keep going?” He brushed a strand of hair from your adorable face, and you nodded again. You had a taste of what it meant to be with him; you couldn’t stop now.
“Words, sweetheart.” He emphasized.
“I wanna keep going, Jimin..” You paused and swallowed hard, “I want you to fuck me.”
Jimin’s jaw almost dropped. His sweet younger girlfriend, who was so shy just a while ago, was letting the filthiest sentences drop from her mouth. “You want me to fuck you?”
“Yes, please, want to fill you me.” You begged again.
A beat of silence from Jimin had you thinking maybe you were sounding too desperate or too insistent, and a flush started to creep up your neck. You were gonna shy away, once more, but Jimin cut you off.
“Tell me how badly.” He pressed one hand at the side of your face, steadying you. His eyes were in dark slivers, bearing down at you with vehemence.
Some jolt of courage possessed you, and you grabbed the hand on your face and lowered it. You kept lowering it till it went right on top of your sloppy, dripping cunt, “This badly.”
Jimin cursed loudly, and he pushed two fingers back into your eager hole, which stretched to accommodate him almost immediately. He pulled his fingers back out and analyzed the saccharine gloss on his fingers. “Still so wet..”
“Mhmm,” You said, “I'm still wet.”
“And only my dick can satisfy you, can’t it?” He hissed. He brought his slick, soaked fingers to your lips, and you parted your mouth. He dove his fingers into your mouth, and your fingers swirled around them, taking in your taste. Drool pooled out of the side of your mouth.
“God, you don’t know what you do to me, Y/N.” His voice sounded restrained in a way you hadn’t heard before.
“Please, Jimin.” You pleaded again, voice mushy from his fingers taking over your mouth, “Need you.”
“I’ll give you what you want, princess.” He said, finally, before sitting back. His hands made quick work of his sweatpants and sullied boxers, and he yanked them off, letting his pink cock spring free, already hard.
You licked your lips at the sight; his cock was blushing pink, the tip a glorious bruised purple. His length was average, but his cock was thicker than any you had seen before, the base decorated with neatly trimmed dark hair. His tip was kissed with his already leaking precum, a translucent white beading out of him.
“It’s so pretty.” You said in a hushed tone, and Jimin cracked a kind but devious smile.
“Yeah? You like my cock?” He gave it a couple of full strokes, and it stood prouder and harder than it had before.
“Yeah.. It’s so thick, though...” You trailed off and reached your hand out to his cock. Jimin let out a guttural groan as your fingers pressed at his sensitive tip, collecting the precum. His cock jumped lightly, and you bit your lip at the sight.
“I-I’ll make it fit.” He promised, voice breaking as you ran your ghostly fingers down the shaft, tracing a protruding vein.
“Be gentle.” You asked softly, before drawing your hand back and scooting on the couch to make space for him again.
“I’ll be so gentle with you, darling.” He said hoarsely as he climbed on top of you again, positioning his hands by either side of your head. Although he wasn’t sure if he could keep his control when he was actually inside you. His chain bounced over you again, and you licked your lips at the feeling of the cool metal tracing shapes under your chin.
Jimin grabbed his cock head and pushed at your thighs once more, giving a silent command for you to spread your legs. You bit your lips, eager but melting with nervousness. You didn’t know how he was going to fit; you could barely wrap your hand around him earlier.
Jimin ran his plush cockhead over your puffy folds, nudging around to collect your sap. Your hands played with your nipples, squeezing gently at your full breasts in anticipation. When Jimin was satisfied, he traced at your entrance, not pushing but circling. He felt so warm against you, so warm and velvety that it made your hole flutter in delight.
“You ready?” He asked, his voice gentle but threaded with restraint. His thumb circled lazily at your hip, grounding you.
“I’m ready.” You whispered.
“Tell me if it’s too much, baby.” He brushed a strand of hair from your cheek, his gaze so intensely focused on you that it left you breathless.
You sucked in air, bracing as he pushed forward, the blunt head of his cock nudging at your entrance before stretching you open, slow and unyielding. It burned, a delicious ache that had your fingers clawing at his shoulders.
“Fuck, you’re so tight,” Jimin groaned, voice rough at your ear, pausing. He paused when you gasped, his hips rolling just the tiniest bit deeper but not enough to overwhelm. “You can take it, darling. I know you can.” His cock was buried halfway in you, and you were already overwhelmed by the feeling of stretching to accommodate him. Your nails dug into his shoulder blades, and your eyes screwed closed.
“Gonna move now, okay?” He whispered, barely keeping it together.
“O-okay.” You whimpered, and even as your body trembled, you found yourself wanting nothing more than to be filled by him.
Jimin pushed the rest of his stocky length into you, finally stilling when his balls slapped against your ass lightly. You cried out when you were stuffed completely, hands trembling as you grabbed at him, the couch, anything to bring yourself back.
Jimin was.. A complete mess. The once control that he prided on was reaching its limits; he was buried so deep in you that he swore he was in your ribs. But he couldn’t move, too afraid that if he shifted, he’d cum instantly. Your pussy was sucking him in so deep that even if he wanted to, he couldn’t pull out. Your gluey walls suckling and pushing him in like a suction. Jimin trembled above you, and he took deep breaths to focus.
“Jimin..” You said his name so sweetly, he moaned.
“W-What.. Shit.. what is it, baby?”
“Move, please.” You said voice cracking.
Jimin cursed loudly, “You drive me crazy.”, but obliged. He gripped your hips and pushed his hips back, leaving your soppy pussy halfway before pushing back in. You whined out, the stretch feeling like you were being speared open. His cock was so fucking thick, you couldn’t think. He was tearing you in half, and you loved it.
Jimin panted and repeated the motion, pulling out halfway before experimenting with a rougher thrust. Your boobs jolted, and you captured your lower lip between your teeth, “Yes!” You whined, “Just like that, just like that.”
Jimin’s pupils dilated at your dulcet noise, “Y-Yeah, just like that?” He gave you another half, rough thrust, and wrapped a hand around one bouncing perky breast, squeezing it hard.
You whined again, “Ngh! Yes!”.
Jimin didn’t need to hear more; he pulled out before pushing in roughly, a loud squelch echoing through the room, and then he started a rhythm. Rough, brutish, slow thrusts that had your cunt gushing in delight. Your pussy didn’t relent a second, clenched so tight you could feel every vein of his cock rubbing your gummy walls.
You were euphoric, Jimin’s cock was angled just right, curving to hit a spongy, tender spot in you that you had never felt before. His cock head was nudging you at a bestial intensity, despite his slow pace. Every thrust, every stroke felt deliberate and planned like he was trying to devour you whole. Your hands were fixed on his shoulders, and tears started forming in your eyes at the feverish pleasure.
On top of that, Jimin was not a quiet man. His moans were breathy and almost melodic, like he was singing with every inch he impaled into you. His gaze was concentrated on your syrupy cunt, the way it was swallowing him whole and still begging for more. A creamy white ring decorated the base of his cock, from his precum and your arousal mixing.
He picked up his pace, thrusts smooth and long so you could feel all of him each time he shoved in you.
“Oh! Oh shit!” You squealed out as he fucked you, “S- so big!”
He moved with purpose, each motion a test of control, his breath warming your face. Tears started pooling out of your eyes, running down the sides of your blooming face.
“You're sucking me in, s-sweetheart.” He hissed and started giving you full thrusts, his balls slapping against your ass each time. Tears streamed down your face, and Jimin almost laughed, “Such a crybaby.”
His teeth gritted as his hips snapped into you, the force so intense the couch creaked. You were shaking wildly underneath him, not able to do much but hold on as your pussy engorged around him. He moaned, feeling your slick arousal start trailing its way down to his balls.
“Jimin! My god!” You bounced wildly under him.
Suddenly, his eyes settled on something that had his cock twitch inside you. Your lower belly was bulging with his cock, forming a little tight bump each time he sheathed you. “N-no fucking way.” He said, sweat beading at his hairline. “W-would you look at that.. “
Your bleary eyes could barely focus on what he was looking at, but you felt it. His hand pressed on your lower belly as he drove into you, and he pushed down. You yelped at the sudden sharp surge in pleasure and gripped onto his wrists.
“C-can barely fucking fit me, baby, y-you’re stuffed.” He choked out. He pressed down again, and your eyes rolled back in your head, and you drooled onto the couch.
“Hck, fuck fuck fuck fuck..” You chanted as his plump cock molded you.
Jimin was arguably in a worse state than you, hair stuck to his forehead, lips parted, and sweat dripping down his face. He could barely speak; he could only dig deeper and deeper into you, addicted to your body’s reactions and the warm, wet drool of your cunt. He bought a hand up, pinching your nipples, and you arched into his touch.
You felt a familiar heat accumulating in the pit of your stomach, and somehow your trembling fingers travelled between your legs to mess with your swollen, weeping cunt. You shook as you started circling your fingerpad of your peeking, tender clit, trying to chase your high.
“W-wanna cum that badly, don’t you?” His fingers replaced yours quickly, and he rubbed at your clit with the same intensity he was pistoning against you. Your hands clawed at his.
“W-wait, wait, it’s too much! J-Jimin, it’s too much!” You babbled stupidly, but Jimin didn’t care.
“Nothing is too much for you, baby, you can take it.” He pinched at your pink nub, abusing it.
You couldn’t say anything, too fucked out to even care how he was using you. You could only receive his rabid touch. A harsh rosy flush rose on Jimin’s chest as he thrusted into you, harder, faster, deeper, than he had ever before. No woman had made him so out of control, so pussy drunk that all he cared about was staying with you. He ground his hips deeper, letting his cock head kiss your cervix, and his eyes rolled back at the plump sensation.
“S-shit, I think I’m close too.” He murmured, more to himself, and kept grinding his cock in circles, refusing to pull out. His fingers continued their assault on your clit, rubbing shapes and designs he knew would send you over the edge.
Your eyes kept opening and closing, and Jimin almost felt bad, almost, that you could barely keep up with him. But he knew you were enjoying this even more than he was; no one else could ever bring you to this point.
He shifted his hips, angling his cock, and started his deep, solid thrusts again, not pulling out enough to leave your warmth. He bought his head dance and wrapped his lips around a rosy nipple, suckling and biting to taste and feel all of you at once. The soft feeling of your chubby breast pushed against his face was exhilarating.
You panted at the multitude of feelings, and then suddenly felt a strange sensation, like you were about to burst at the seams.
“J-Jim-” You got cut off at the sudden splash of your juices on his bare abdomen, and hot white pleasure blinded your vision. Your voice shattered as you let out a high-pitched, broken moan, unable to contain yourself.
Jimin was in awe. There was no way you had squirted all over his cock the first time he’d fucked you, but he didn’t pause to admire; he couldn’t, he was too greedy. He kept up his thrusts, gripping onto you as he did so.
“F-fucking squirted all o-over me, dirty girl.” He moaned.
“I- Oh shit!” You tried to start your sentence, an apology maybe for the mess you made, but couldn’t, succumbing to his unrelenting pace, driving you to the edge again. You were right there, once again, right at the teetering edge of a harsh orgasm.
You clenched, hard, stilling him. Jimin bottomed out and trembled as he tried to shift, but instead came. He cried out loudly, and his hot cum spurted out, right inside you, filling you up to the brim.
You whined at the warm full feeling, and your orgasm crashed over you, this one weaker but sending shivers down your spine. Your thighs trembled, and your tear-stained cheeks streaked with more fresh tears as you came.
A second passed, but he didn’t have the strength to pull out just yet, but he watched you with heavy, clouded eyes. His beautiful little girlfriend, leaking with his cum.
Finally, he pulled out, and you both flinched at the loss of tender warmth, and he collapsed next to you.
The silence that followed was deafening. He stayed there for a long moment, breathing against your shoulder, heartbeat wild.. Then his voice—hoarse, raw—broke the quiet.
“Did I hurt you?”
You shook your head, still catching your breath, and his gaze burned in the side of your cheek. You met his stare, slowly, and for a heartbeat, the room went still. His eyes were soft and warm, large and doe-like, so unlike him just seconds ago.
He traced his thumb along your cheekbone, wiping away the dampness there. “You did so well.”
Your chest tightened. “Did I?”
He sighed, voice low, steady. “Sweetheart. You did so good.” His fingers slipped down to your neck, tracing your pulse. “You let go. You trusted me.”
He paused, eyes flicking between your lips and your face, like he was trying to memorize every inch. “That’s all I ever wanted from you.” His eyes were like melted chocolate, dripping and swirling you in as they stayed on you steadily. You felt a bubble form in your throat.
“Jimin,” you whispered, hesitant, still dazed from how different he suddenly felt.
“Hmm?” He hummed
“I really like you.” You confessed, your pulse fluttered.
His mouth curved at the faintest hint of a smile tugging at the corner. “Yeah?” he said, his voice dipping lower, rich and teasing in that way of his. “I like you even more, baby.”
“You do?”
“Of course I do,” he said, a breathy laugh escaping his chest. “How could I not? You’re so easy to like.”
“Even though I’m not as experienced?” You inquired gently.
He shook his head lightly, eyes never leaving yours. “That doesn’t matter,” he whispered, voice warm but firm. “Never does.”
Your lips parted, but you couldn’t find your voice.
“You’re the best thing that’s happened to me in a while.” He placed his hand over yours.
“Really?” You felt elated, the dull throb between your legs feeling like nothing compared to the flowery feeling blooming in your chest.
“Really.” He sealed it with a kiss, unhurriedly and slowly, lingering just long enough to steal your breath when he finally pulled back.
“Get some rest now,” he murmured, voice barely above a whisper. It wasn’t a command, not really. Jimin couldn’t be demanding of you, but you obeyed anyway, eyes fluttering shut as his hand found its place on you again.
While you started dozing off against him, Jimin thought back on his words.
No, you weren’t just the best thing that had happened to him in a while.
You were the best thing that had ever happened to him.
summary: jimin was never supposed to want you. he was never supposed to have you. not when you were his best friend's little sister. not when he knew better. but the night you chose him changed everything. now, it's more than just a secret, and it isn't a mistake either. and he's not letting anyone take you back.
themes: jimin is madly obsessed in love with reader..., brother's best friend, small age gap (reader is 22 jimin is 25), smut, angst, childhood friends, jealousy, reader has a stupid/toxic bf, mentions of clubbing, partying, drinking, underage drinking, slight sexualization of reader, forbidden relationship, reader (briefly) cheats on her dumb bf (emotionally, kissing), possessive/obsessive themes, swearing, yearning, arguing, tension, sneaking around, fluff, eventual love confession, porn with lots of plot...
warnings: sexual themes, descriptive & explicit smut MINORS DNI 18+ (dom!jimin, sub reader, oral f, fingering, breast play, praise/dirty talk, edging, missionary, unprotected sex, ass slapping, cream pie)
word count: 16.8k
‧₊ ♪˚⊹ i luv your girl - the dream
jimin used to think of you as background noise.
a small voice echoing through the house when he came over, trailing behind your older brother, jaehyun like a shadow that talked too much and asked too many questions. you were always there—sitting cross-legged on the floor while they played video games, peeking into the kitchen when they ordered food, lingering just close enough to be included without ever actually being invited.
“why do you always lose, chim?” you asked him once, somewhere around the age of ten, tilting your head with that blunt curiosity only kids could get away with and the nickname you had been calling him since before you could pronounce words correctly.
he flicked your forehead, not even looking up from the screen. “why do you always talk?”
you gasped like he wounded you, dramatically throwing yourself back onto the carpet. he and your brother laughed.
back then, you were just… there.
a kid with scraped knees and messy hair, who stole fries off his plate and never said thank you. who insisted on sitting too close, who followed them around even when they told you to go away, who somehow always ended up exactly where they were.
and for reasons he never questioned, he always let you.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾
by the time you were teenagers, things shifted—but not in the way people usually noticed.
you stopped following them as much.
you only went to high school at the same time for one year—he was a senior and you were a freshman. you had brief encounters in the hallways, brief hellos and shared snacks, but nothing more. you were just settling in while he was gathering his final credits for graduation and making his way into adulthood.
he noticed it in passing, the way you notice the seasons changing without really thinking about it.
in your later years of high school, you started staying in your room when he came over. you would come down to say hi briefly before returning upstairs; music playing faintly through the walls instead of your voice filling the space. when you did appear, it was quieter now—less interrupting, more observing. less chaos, more… awareness.
you grew up. that was all.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾
except it wasn't all. he just didn't realize it yet.
the first time something felt off, it was stupid. small. the kind of moment that shouldn’t matter.
you had just turned nineteen; fresh out of high school and falling into your first semester of college.
there was a party—your brother insisted on throwing something at the house while your parents were out, because of course he did. people everywhere, music too loud, drinks passed around like it was nothing.
jimin almost didn't come. but he did, like he always did. because why would he miss his best friend's little sister's birthday party?
he hadn't seen you since your high school graduation a few months ago—summers packed with busy schedules that just happened to be the exact opposite.
and during that summer, you had grown into your features—skin glowing, boobs plump, and ass round. the summer consisted of mastering the perfect blowout and makeup routine, skin kissed by the sun and your wardrobe upgrading after picking up a job for the summer.
for a while, the party was normal. jimin stuck near jaehyun, talking to the same people, ignoring the same chaos. until—
"jimin!"
he turned at the sound of your voice, already halfway into a response before he stopped. really stopped.
it took a second for his brain to catch up to what he was looking at.
you were a few feet away before you engulfed him into a warm hug, his arms instinctively wrapping around you. the scent of your perfume and shampoo filled his head, but that wasn't all. once you pulled away, that's when he saw it all.
the soft glow of the party lights caught on you, tracing every line of the little short dress you wore like it had been made for you, hugging your figure and riding up your carved legs that were on display.
your hair bounced with every move, falling perfectly into place and around your boobs, cleavage being highlighted in the colorful lights of the party. your makeup was flawless without trying too hard—everything about you effortless and impossible to ignore in a room full of people.
but it was more than that. it was the way you looked at him. not like a kid trying to be included. not like his best friend’s little sister.
just… like a girl. no—like a woman. and somehow, that changed everything.
“you okay?” you asked, brows pulling together slightly when he didn’t respond.
he blinked, a little too slow. “yeah,” he said, voice rougher than he meant it to be. “yeah, i’m good..."
"oh- happy birthday!" he sputtered, hands scrambling to hand you his gift. a box wrapped delicately in one hand, a bouquet of flowers in the other.
you smiled widely before pulling him into another, tight hug, boobs pressing against his chest. "aw thank you, chimmy! you're too sweet." the same, big smile you always had.
but it didn’t feel the same. not even close. something settled in his chest then. quiet. heavy. unwelcome.
the kind of realization that doesn’t announce itself loudly—but once it’s there, it doesn’t leave.
before he could respond, someone had called your name.
"i’ll be back!" you giggled, giving his shoulder a squeeze before turning around.
that little dress of yours had squeezed around your newly grown ass like it was made around it. your hips swayed effortlessly as you skipped over to your friends. he looked away in embarrassment after staring too long to be deemed appropriate.
he’d like to say that was the moment he shut it down. that he drew a line, put distance between you, remembered exactly who you were and why none of this could ever happen.
he didn’t. instead, he stayed.
watched you laugh with someone else across the room. noticed the way people looked at you now. how guys looked at you. the way you moved through the space like you belonged there, like you weren't the kid trailing behind them anymore.
and for the first time—something sharp, unfamiliar, and dangerously close to jealousy twisted in jimin's chest.
he didn’t like it. didn’t understand it.
but he felt it. and worse... he didn’t want it to go away.
but later that night, with the music loud, the drinks hitting just right, and jaehyun off somewhere with a girl, you and jimin were on the dance floor, moving and laughing together like you forgot anyone else existed.
it wasn't long before you were pressed up against him, jimin’s gifted bottle of patrón taking over your mind as you shamelessly grinded against him.
the liquor was also taking over him as he let himself enjoy it, his hand steady at your hips, breath catching while your ass grazed his cock that was strained so tightly against his pants.
just as it started to blur into something more, he leaned in, murmured something low in your ear, and smoothly pulled you away, twirling you around guiding you back into something safer before either of you crossed a line you wouldn’t be able to back from.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾
jimin learned how to live with it. at least, that’s what he told himself.
three years later, it didn’t feel like a problem anymore—it felt like something permanent. something carved into him so deeply he stopped trying to dig it out.
he adjusted, that’s all.
you were twenty-two now, and he couldn't ignore the way you'd fully grown into yourself—how your features had sharpened, softened in all the right places. how your body carried a confidence it never used to. even your laugh was louder, brighter, your personality more alive than ever, filling every room you stepped into.
he kept his distance where it mattered. never touched you longer than he should. never said anything that couldn’t be brushed off. never gave your brother a reason to look twice.
but that didn’t mean he wasn’t always there—watching you when you laughed loudly at someone else's joke, eyes lingering just a second too long when you weren't looking.
at parties, he’d find his way closer without thinking, standing just behind you, like gravity kept pulling him in. and when it got too crowded, too loud, he’d casually pat his thigh and offer you a seat like it meant nothing—like it was just easier that way. you always accepted.
on the outside, nothing changed. on the inside—everything did.
he knew things he shouldn’t. not because you told him, not always. but because he paid attention.
he knew you hated mornings but still set three alarms you never woke up to. knew you only drank coffee if it was drowned in cream and sugar.
knew the exact tone your voice took when you were pretending to be okay—and the quieter one when you weren't.
he knew when you had a bad day before you even said a word. and he always noticed when someone else didn’t.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾
the music was too loud in the club.
bass heavy, vibrating through the floor and up his spine, drowning out most conversation and turning everything into flashes—lights, bodies, movement. the kind of place where people lost track of time, of drinks, of each other.
but jimin didn’t. he knew exactly where you were.
across the dance floor, half-surrounded by your friends, laughing at something someone said. your head tipped back slightly, hair falling away from your shoulders, completely unaware of the way people looked at you.
or maybe you were aware. and maybe you just didn’t care.
a few minutes later, you drifted closer to the bar, separating from your friends just enough. that was all it took for him to move without thinking.
“water please,” he said to the bartender before you even noticed him, sliding the glass across to you as you turned.
you blinked in surprise. “oh-! thanks, chim.”
“you’ve been dancing for like an hour,” he said, like it was obvious. “drink it.”
there was something about the way he said it—not quite a command, not quite a suggestion—that made you smile. “yes, sir,” you teased, taking a sip.
his eyes flickered slightly at that. “don’t start,” he muttered, but there was no real bite to it.
you laughed softly, leaning your elbow against the bar. “you’ve been watching me all night, haven’t you?”
the question was light, your tone playful, tipsy, and teasing. but it landed heavier than you meant it to.
he didn’t answer right away. just looked at you—really looked at you—in a way that made something shift in your expression.
“someone has to,” he said finally.
“i can take care of myself chim~”
“i know,” he said. but his tone didn’t change. "doesn’t mean i’m not going to make sure you’re okay.”
for a second, neither of you spoke, the noise of the club filled the space between you, but it felt distant. muted.
you held his gaze a little longer than usual, something unreadable flickering behind your eyes.
“come outside with me,” you said suddenly.
it wasn’t really a question. your fingers wrapped around his hand, tugging him through the crowd as he obliged, following like your own personal bodyguard.
the air outside was cooler. quieter. the music dulled to a low thrum behind the walls, replaced by the hum of distant traffic and muffled laughter from people filtering in and out.
you leaned back against the brick wall, exhaling. "needed this,” you murmured.
he stepped out a second later, the door swinging shut behind him as his eyes immediately found you. of course they did.
“you okay?” he asked, like it was automatic.
you glanced at him, a small smile tugging at your lips. “you ask me that a lot.”
“yeah,” he said simply. no apology. no hesitation. just the truth.
you studied him for a moment, like you were trying to figure something out through effect of your drinks. “you don’t ask anyone else that,” you said.
his hands slipped into his pockets, shoulders relaxing just slightly—but his gaze didn’t leave you. “you’re not anyone else.”
the words came out low, steady, and too honest. something shifted again—stronger this time.
you looked away first, shaking your head lightly like you were brushing it off. “you’re intense tonight.”
a quiet huff of amusement left him. “tonight?”
you smiled at that, but it faded quicker than it should’ve. there was a pause. it stretched long enough to feel different.
he took a step closer. not all the way, but just enough. close enough that if either of you moved a bit more, it would mean something.
“you should slow down on the drinks,” he said, voice softer now. “you don’t need it.”
your breath hitched—barely there, but he caught it. “maybe i just want to have fun,” you said.
“you are having fun,” he replied. “don’t need to overdo it to prove it.”
you looked up at him then, something almost challenging in your eyes. “and you get to decide that?”
his jaw flexed. there it was; that edge. “i get to look out for you,” he said. “yeah.”
the air between you tightened. it wasn't an argument, but it wasn't quite something else either. it was closer to both.
your gaze dropped briefly—to his mouth, then back up again so fast it almost didn’t happen. almost.
but he saw it, and for a split second—he forgot himself. his hand lifted, like he was going to reach for you. like he’d done a thousand times before without thinking.
but this time, it felt different. this time, it would mean something. he stopped. just short enough that the restraint was visible. tense and heavy.
your eyes flickered to his hand, then back to his face, something unspoken passing between you.
a question. a warning, but it was coated with possibility. the door behind you swung open suddenly, voices spilling out into the night—and just like that, it broke.
he dropped his hand, stepping back. the moment snapped like it had never been there at all.
“come on,” he said, voice back to normal, controlled again. “your friends are probably looking for you.”
you nodded, but you didn’t move right away. just looked at him for one second longer than necessary. like you felt it too. then you turned, heading back inside.
jimin stayed where he was for a moment, running a hand over the back of his neck, exhaling slowly as he stared at the ground.
because that—that wasn’t nothing. and he knew it.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾
jimin sat in you and jaehyun’s shared living room as you both awaited his arrival for a night out with friends. it shouldn't have meant anything. it usually didn't.
“you want anything?” you called from the kitchen, voice carrying easily through the apartment.
he leaned back against the couch, one arm draped along the back, eyes flicking toward the sound of you moving around. “water’s fine.”
“wow,” you said, appearing a second later with a glass in hand. “you’re so high maintenance.”
he huffed a quiet laugh, taking it from you. “i try.”
you didn’t move away right after. just hovered there for a second, like you hadn’t decided what you were doing next. then you dropped down onto the couch beside him—close, but not unusual. never unusual.
that was the problem. everything with you felt normal; even when it wasn’t.
“you’ve been busy, huh?” he asked after a moment, tone casual, eyes fixed on the tv even though he wasn’t really watching it.
“mm,” you hummed, tucking one leg under yourself. “a little.”
he nodded slowly, taking a sip of his water. “haven’t seen you much.”
“yeah, sorry,” you said easily. “i’ve just been… doing stuff.”
something about the way you said it—vague, almost distracted—made his gaze shift to you. “doing... stuff?” he repeated.
you smiled a little at that, like you knew how it sounded. “okay, fine,” you said, exhaling softly. “i was going to tell you anyway.”
there was no buildup. no hesitation. you said it like it didn't matter. "i've been seeing someone."
it shouldn’t have hit like that. because it wasn’t even unexpected. it was always going to happen eventually.
but still—something in jimin's chest tightened, sharp and immediate, like his body reacted before his mind could catch up.
he didn’t move. didn’t let it show. just nodded once, slow, controlled. “yeah?”
“yeah,” you said, leaning back into the couch like it was nothing. “it’s not, like, serious or anything.”
not serious.
that made it worse. “no?” he asked, voice even.
“not really,” you shrugged. “i mean, i don’t know. he’s… nice, i guess.”
nice.
his jaw flexed slightly. "that sounds convincing.”
you laughed softly, nudging his arm with yours. “shut up. i’m just saying—i don’t know if he’s, like, the one or anything. i just…” you trailed off, thinking for a second. “i just want to see, you know?”
see.
like it was an experiment. like it didn’t matter. like you didn’t matter.
something dark flickered in his chest. he set the glass down a little harder than he meant to, the quiet clink against the table sharper than the conversation deserved. “and he’s good to you?” he asked.
there was a beat. a small one. you hesitated—just barely. “yeah,” you said. “i mean… he’s fine.”
he let out a slow breath through his nose, gaze dropping for a second before lifting back to you. “fine?” he repeated.
you shrugged again, a little sheepish this time. “i don’t know. he’s just not really… i don’t know.”
he waited. you glanced at him, like you were deciding how much to say. “he doesn’t really do much,” you admitted. “like, we hang out, but he’s not super… i don’t know, thoughtful? i guess.”
something in him snapped tighter. “you guess,” he echoed, quieter now.
you didn’t notice. or maybe you did, and chose not to look too closely. "i mean, it’s whatever,” you said quickly. “it’s not a big deal.”
his fingers curled slightly against his knee. “right,” he said.
because what else was he supposed to say?
don’t see him.
you deserve better.
you deserve—me.
the word sat there, heavy and dangerous, pressing against the back of his teeth. he swallowed it down hard.
“you don’t seem very excited,” he said instead, tone carefully neutral.
you glanced at him, tilting your head. “should i be?”
“if you like him.”
you made a face—small, almost unintentional. “i do. i just… i don’t know. it’s not like that.”
not like that.
his gaze locked onto you. “and you’re okay with that?”
you frowned slightly. “what do you mean?”
“you’re just going to settle for ‘not like that’?” he asked, voice lower now, something sharper slipping through despite himself.
you blinked, caught off guard by the edge in his tone. “i’m not settling,” you said. “i’m just… seeing where it goes.”
he let out a quiet, humorless breath, leaning back into the couch. “yeah,” he muttered. “that sounds great.”
you nudged him again, lighter this time. “why are you being weird about it, chim~?”
weird.
he almost laughed. instead, he dragged a hand over his face, forcing himself to relax, to soften, to be normal. "i’m not,” he said. “i just—”care. too much.
he exhaled, shaking his head slightly. “i just don’t want you wasting your time on someone who’s not worth it.”
your expression softened a little at that. “i’m not wasting my time,” you said gently.
his eyes flicked back to yours. “you don’t even sound like you like him that much.”
you hesitated again. and there it was; that tiny crack. “it’s not that i don’t like him,” you said. “it’s just… different.”
different.
he held your gaze for a long second. then, quieter—“yeah,” he said. “i bet it is.”
the room fell into a strange kind of silence after that. not uncomfortable, not quite. just… heavy. like something had shifted, even if you didn’t fully understand how or why.
you leaned your head back against the couch, staring up at the ceiling. “you’re being intense again, chimmy,” you murmured.
he huffed softly like a humorless laugh, looking away. “only with you.”
the words slipped out before he could stop them. they were too honest. too close.
your head turned slightly, eyes finding his face. and for a second—it felt like you were seeing something you weren't supposed to. something he’d kept buried for years.
his jaw tightened, gaze dropping before you could look too closely. “don’t overthink it,” he added, quieter now. “just… be careful, okay?”
your expression softened again, something warm flickering there as an innocent smile creeped onto your face. “i always am.”
that wasn’t what he was worried about. not even close. but he nodded anyway. because at the end of the day—it wasn’t his place. no matter how much it felt like it should be.
and that was the problem.
because as you sat there beside him, talking about someone else like it didn’t matter—he could already feel it.
the slow, steady unraveling. the way this was going to get worse. the way he was going to hate every second of it. and still, he wasn’t going anywhere.
not when it came to you.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾
the restaurant was nice.
not too fancy, not too casual—somewhere in the middle, with dim lighting and quiet music playing in the background. the kind of place that was supposed to feel thoughtful.
but it didn’t.
“so yeah,” your boyfriend, seojun said, barely looking up from his phone, “i might go out with the guys later tonight.”
you blinked. “after this?”
“yeah, just for a bit.” he shrugged. “depends.”
depends.
you nodded slowly, fingers tracing the edge of your glass. “oh. okay.” but he didn’t notice the shift in your tone. didn’t notice much, really.
“have you decided what you’re getting?” you asked, trying again.
“not really.” another scroll. another tap. “you can pick for me if you want.”
you let out a small laugh, like it was funny. like it didn’t bother you. “okay,” you said. “i’ll just—yeah.”
your phone buzzed softly against the table, your eyes dropping to it without thinking. it was jimin. your chest eased instantly.
jimin: you alive?
you: barely
this is soooo boringg
across from you, seojun finally looked up. “what?”
you shook your head quickly. “nothing.” your phone buzzed again.
jimin: bad date?
want me to come get you
you: nooo it’s fine
i said yes i have to commit
jimin: you don't have to do anything
your fingers hovered over the screen. that… felt different. your boyfriend reached for his drink, not even glancing at you.
you: it’s not that bad
he’s just not you
you stared at the message the second it sent. your breath caught. shit. across the table, seojun laughed at something on his phone, completely unaware.
your screen lit up almost instantly, your stomach flipping.
jimin: what does that mean
you: omg ignore me
i didn’t mean it like that
jimin: yeah
i know you didn’t
but something about it felt… off. you frowned slightly, glancing up. your boyfriend was already halfway out of the conversation again.
and for the first time that night—you felt it.
“are you even listening?” you asked, slightly harsher now.
“mm?” he said, looking up again. “yeah, what?”
you hesitated. then shook your head. “nothing.” because suddenly, it didn't feel worth repeating.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾
it started out normal. that was the problem.
everyone was there at the lounge—your friends, your brother, his friends—the usual mix of loud voices and overlapping conversations, drinks passed around, music playing just low enough that no one had to shout.
jimin stayed where he always did. close enough to you to keep track, far enough that no one questioned it.
you showed up twenty minutes late. with him. of course.
jimin's eyes caught it instantly—the way your boyfriend’s hand rested low on your back, casual, like it belonged there. the way you smiled as you walked in, greeting everyone like nothing had changed.
like everything was normal. his jaw tightened slightly.
“wow, she made it,” jaehyun said beside him, lifting his drink in acknowledgment.
“yeah,” he said. but his eyes didn’t leave you. not even for a second.
throughout the night, he watched. he didn’t mean to—but he always did.
the way you laughed at something your friend said, leaning into the table slightly. the way your boyfriend sat beside you, half-turned away, scrolling through his phone between conversations.
not engaged. not present at all. jimin’s fingers tightened around his glass.
at one point, you got up to grab another drink. he moved before he could think about it, timing it just right so it didn’t look intentional. it always came naturally with you.
“hey,” he said as he stepped up beside you at the bar.
you glanced over, your expression softening instantly. “hi chimmy.”
there it was. that look. the one that always hit a little too hard. the nickname that always pulled at his heart. “you having fun?” he asked.
you hesitated, just for a second. “yeah,” you said.
a lie. it was a quiet one, but he heard it anyway. his gaze flicked past you, landing briefly on your boyfriend across the room—laughing now, finally engaged, but not with you. of course not.
“doesn’t look like it,” he murmured.
your shoulders tensed slightly. “you always say that.”
“because it’s usually true.”
you huffed softly, looking away as you reached for a napkin. “you’re so annoying.”
"and you’re avoiding the question.”
you glanced back at him, something flickering in your eyes—defensive, but not quite. “i’m fine,” you said.
fine. again.
his jaw flexed. “yeah,” he said quietly. “i know.”
“babe, you coming?” the words cut through the space between you. sharp. immediate.
your entire body went still. seojun was looking at you now, finally. one arm draped lazily over the back of his chair. waiting. expecting. like you would just fall back into place.
you glanced between you and jimin. then back at your boyfriend. something unspoken passed through your expression—something almost apologetic. "i'll be back," you said quietly.
he didn't respond. didn't trust himself. just nodded once, stepping aside to let you pass.
but his eyes followed you the entire way back. watched as you sat down. watched as your boyfriend barely looked at you before going back to whatever he was saying.
watched as you smiled anyway. like it was enough.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾
it wasn’t one big fight. that would’ve been easier. it was smaller than that. worse, somehow.
“you’re overreacting.”
“i’m not—”
“you always do this.”
the words blurred together after a while. same argument, different night. same tone, same outcome. seojun pulling away, you trying to explain something you couldn’t quite put into words anymore.
“i just wanted you to show up,” you said, quieter now. “that’s it.”
“i told you something came up," he snapped.
“you always have something come up.”
he sighed like you were exhausting him. “why are you making this such a big deal?”
that was the moment something in you went still. because it was a big deal. at least, it felt like one. but the way he said it made you question it. made her question yourself.
“i’m not,” you said finally. but your voice didn’t sound convincing. not even to you.
you left his place ten minutes later. no real resolution. no apology. no anything. just a quiet, “i’ll text you,” and the door closing behind you.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾
your phone buzzed halfway down the street.
jimin: you home?
your chest tightened. of course. of course it was him. you stared at the message for a second longer than you should’ve.
you: no
can i come over?
his response was immediate.
jimin: yeah
door’s open
no questions. no hesitation.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾
jimin was sitting on the couch when you walked in. like he’d been waiting.
your eyes flicked to him, and for a second—just a second—you felt something shift in your chest. something familiar. something steady. something easy. “hey,” you said softly, closing the door behind you.
his gaze moved over yours quickly, taking everything in—the tension in your shoulders, the way your expression didn’t quite settle, the exhaustion you didn’t try to hide this time.
“what happened?” he asked. no small talk or pretending. just that, direct and straightforward.
your throat tightened slightly. “nothing,” you said automatically.
his jaw flexed. “don’t do that.” the words were quiet. but firm.
you exhaled, dropping your bag by the door before walking further into the apartment. “it’s just… the same stuff,” you admitted. “we argued. again.”
he leaned back slightly, eyes still on you. “about?”
you let out a small, humorless laugh. “everything. nothing. i don’t even know anymore.”
silence stretched for a second. “he didn’t show up again, did he?”
your gaze snapped to his. “how do you—”
“you always come here when he doesn’t,” he said simply.
that hit harder than it should’ve. because it was true.
you swallowed, looking away. “it’s not like that.”
“then what’s it like?”
your chest tightened. “i don’t know,” you said, quieter now. “i just… needed to get out.”
his eyes didn’t leave you. “yeah,” he murmured. “i know.”
you moved to sit on the couch beside him. closer than usual. closer than you should’ve. but neither of you said anything about it. you never did.
for a while, it was quiet. comfortable. nothing but the low hum of his tv in the background, the colorful glow hitting you in all the right places. the kind of silence that didn’t ask anything from you.
didn’t make you feel like you had to explain yourself. and that—that was the problem. because you didn’t have that anywhere else.
“he says i expect too much,” you said suddenly.
his head turned slightly. “you don’t.”
“you didn’t even let me finish.”
“don’t need to.”
your lips pressed together, something emotional flickering behind your eyes. “you’re biased, chim.”
“yeah,” he said without hesitation. "because i know you.”
your breath caught, the words settling somewhere deep. too deep.
“he’s not… bad,” you said, like you were trying to convince both of you. “he just—he doesn’t think about things the way i do.”
“he doesn’t think about you,” he corrected.
your chest tightened again. “that’s not fair.”
“no,” he said quietly. “what’s not fair is you acting like that’s enough.”
the air shifted. heavy. your gaze dropped to your hands. “i’m not saying it is.”
“then why are you still with him?”
the question hung there. simple, yet impossible. you didn't answer. because you didn't have one.
his hand moved before he could stop it, resting lightly against your wrist. not pulling or forcing. just… there. like it grounded both of you.
your breath caught softly at the contact. neither of you moved.
“you don’t have to stay somewhere you’re not getting what you need,” he said, voice lower now. “you know that, right?”
your eyes lifted slowly to his. and for the first time—you didn’t pull away. didn't brush it off or make you joke like you normally would.
“what if i don’t know what i need?” you whispered.
that almost broke him. because he did. he knew exactly what you needed. but he couldn’t say that.
his thumb shifted slightly against your wrist. barely there. but enough. “you do,” he said quietly. “you’re just ignoring it.”
your heart started beating a little faster. “am i?” you asked.
his gaze dropped—just for a second. to your lips. then back up. you noticed. “you come here every time something goes wrong,” he said, softer now. “you tell me everything. you let me—”
he stopped himself. but it was too late.
“let you what?” you asked, barely above a whisper.
his jaw tightened. because the answer wasn’t safe. wasn’t something he could take back once it was out.
but you were looking at him like that. too close. too open. too vulnerable.
“take care of you,” he said finally. the words landed heavy between you, making your breath hitch. “and you think he does that?” he added lowly.
you didn’t answer. because you didn’t need to. silence stretched, but it wasn’t empty. it was full of everything you both hadn’t said, everything you weren’t supposed to feel.
"i... i shouldn't be here," you whispered. it wasn't about his place. he knew that.
his gaze didn't waver. "then why are you?"
your lips parted. but once again, no answer left them.
his hand tightened slightly around your wrist—not enough to hurt, just but enough to stop you from pulling away if you tried. something sick and twisted knotted in your stomach, heat shamefully pooling in between your legs.
you didn't pull away.
"this isn't fair," you said softly.
"no," he agreed. "it's not." but he didn't let go of you, low eyes boring into yours.
“you deserve better,” he said finally. "you let him treat you like you're optional—and you're not. you never will be."
but this time—it didn’t sound like advice. it sounded like a promise. the way he said it, the way he looked at you made your chest tighten in a way that had nothing to do with guilt.
your eyes were locked onto each others, everything else fading. the room, the noise, even the weight of what you were doing.
for a split second, you imagined it. what it would be like if this wasn’t wrong. if you didn’t have to pull away. if you could just stay here, with him, without guilt or hesitation. it was a glimpse of something softer, steadier… something that felt dangerously close to real.
suddenly, your phone began to vibrate against your pocket. you flinched this time, like it snapped you out of something you hadn’t meant to fall into.
he didn’t move. didn’t step back. but his hand stilled against your wrist as you glanced down at the screen, close to fully letting go.
your brother. of course.
you swallowed, pulling back just enough to answer it as the warmth of his hand quickly left you. "hey—"
"where are you?" jaehyun’s voice came through rough, impatient.
"i'm just—out," you said quickly, already knowing how weak it sounded.
"with seojun again?"
your eyes flicked to jimin. he was watching you. too closely. "yeah," you lied, swallowing too hard.
"don't stay there tonight," your brother said. "i can't feed your cat all the fuckin' time." the line ended.
“i should go,” you said, though you didn’t move right away.
he nodded once. but his eyes didn’t leave you. they didn’t soften or let you off easy. then finally, you got up, stepping back. slow and reluctant, like you were pulling yourself from something you hadn't quite processed yet.
"i'll see you..." you said.
his jaw tightened ever so slightly. "yeah," he said.
you turned toward the door, pausing for a second. like you everything in you wanted to look back him. but you didn't.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾
you tried. that was the worst part. you actually tried.
“are you even listening to me?” seojun's voice pulled you back, sharp with irritation.
you blinked, realizing you'd been staring at nothing for the past few seconds. “yeah—sorry. what did you say?”
he exhaled, annoyed, leaning back in his chair. “i said i might not be free this weekend.” of course.
you nodded slowly. “okay.”
no argument this time or pushing. no asking him to try. that should’ve made things better, but it didn’t.
you were sitting too far apart. that was the first thing you noticed. not physically—you were on the same couch—but it felt like there was space between you. too much of it.
like something had already pulled away.
“you’ve been quiet,” he said after a moment, glancing at her.
“just tired,” you replied.
that part wasn’t a lie. just not the whole truth. because every time the room went quiet—your mind didn’t stay there.
it drifted. back to jimin.
the way he looked at you three nights ago. the way he said you let me take care of you. the way his hand felt against you. the way he almost—
your breath caught slightly, shifting where you sat.
“come here,” your boyfriend said suddenly, reaching for you.
you hesitated. just for a second. then you moved closer, letting him pull you in. it felt wrong. uncomfortable and just...empty. like you were there physically—but nothing else followed.
seojun's hand rested on your waist casually. you used to like it, but now, it didn't feel like anything. “you good?” he asked.
you nodded quickly. “yeah.” but your voice didn’t match.
because all you could think about was how different it felt. how when he touched you, even barely—it wasn’t like this.
your boyfriend said something else, but you didn’t hear it. didn’t even try to. "you're doing it again," he muttered.
“doing what?”
“checking out.”
your chest tightened slightly. “i’m not—”
“you are,” he cut in. “you’ve been weird all night.”
weird. you almost laughed. because for the first time—you felt like you were exactly where you weren't supposed to be.
"i think i'm just tired," you said, softer now.
he pulled away slightly, clearly annoyed now. “then why’d you even come over?” that question landed harder than it should’ve. because you didn’t have a good answer. not anymore.
you stood up before you could overthink it. “i should go.”
he frowned. “seriously?”
“yeah,” you said, grabbing your bag. “i just—yeah.”
he didn’t stop you. didn’t ask you to stay. he didn’t even try. and for some reason, that hurt less than it should’ve. because as you walked out—there was only one thing on your mind.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾
you didn't text first. you just showed up, two knocks at jimin's door before it opened immediately. like he knew it was you. like he'd been waiting.
for a second, neither of you spoke. just stood there, looking at each other. with everything from the last time—the tension, the way it ended—came rushing back all at once.
“you went back to him.” it wasn’t a question.
your chest tightened slightly. “yeah.”
his jaw flexed. “and?"
you shook your head slowly. “it felt wrong.” the words came out quieter than you expected. but they landed exactly where they needed to.
something in his expression shifted. not surprise. something darker. something that had been waiting.
“yeah,” he said. like he already knew. silence stretched, but it wasn't empty. it was full to the brim with weight and tension.
“i couldn’t stop thinking about—” you started, then cut yourself off.
his eyes locked onto yours. “say it.”
your breath caught. “i couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
there it was. the truth. out loud and no taking it back. he moved first, faster this time. like all the hesitation in him was hanging onto a thread.
there was barely any space left between you. his hand found your waist, pulling you closer like he'd been holding back from that from doing that exactly for too long.
your breath caught sharply, hands instinctively finding his shirt, gripping lightly. "jimin..." you protested ever so weakly.
“tell me to stop,” he said again—but this time it didn’t sound like he would. not really.
and you didn't. you didn't even try. and that was all jimin needed.
before you could think, he leaned in—closing all the space left and kissed you.
it wasn't soft or careful like most first kisses. it was everything he hadn’t let himself do for years—frustration, restraint, want—all crashing into one moment, capturing your lips roughly between his.
your breath hitched against him, but you didn’t pull away. you leaned into it more than you would admit. and you kissed him back, lips moving against his in unison like you'd been waiting too.
his grip tightened slightly, holding you there like he wasn’t about to let you disappear again, like he wasn’t about to let you walk out and go back to something that wasn’t him. his other hand found your jaw, tilting it upward to deepen the kiss like he'd done that a hundred times.
and for the first time—you didn’t feel unsure. didn’t feel distant or felt like something was missing.
because whatever this was, felt like everything. and neither of you stopped, lips molding together in sync.
after what felt like an eternity, the kiss finally broke, but the space between you didn't.
your breath was uneven, chest rising and falling like you'd forgotten how to steady it. his hand was still on your waist, fingers curled slightly like he hadn’t decided whether to let go of you yet.
he didn’t.
your lips parted slightly, like you were about to say something—but nothing came out. because what were you supposed to say?
this shouldn’t have happened? i didn’t mean to? this was a mistake? because none of that felt true.
his forehead hovered just barely near yours, close enough that you could still feel him—still feel the weight of what just happened lingering between you.
“you should go.” the words came out low. rough. but his hand didn’t move, not matching the words at all.
your chest tightened. "do you want me to?" but you didn't mean to ask that. it just slipped out.
his jaw flexed. because the answer wasn’t safe. it wasn’t something he should say. but he’d already crossed the line. you both had.
"no," he said quietly, and you didn't miss the way his hand twitched against you, like his restraint was faltering.
your breath caught again. and for a second, it looked like you might close the distance again.
like you might forget everything else and just—
but instead, you stepped back. barely. but enough that his warmth left you. enough to feel it and remind the both of you what was happening.
"this is wrong," you whispered. but there was no conviction behind it. no urgency. just… acknowledgment.
"yeah," he said. but he didn't look the least bit concerned.
silence stretched, longer this time. he finally let his hand drop from your waist. slow, reluctant, like it cost him something. and you felt it immediately. the absence. it shouldn't have, but it hit you like a truck.
“i shouldn’t have come here,” you murmured. but even even as you said it—you didn’t sound like you meant it.
“you were going to,” he said. not a question, just undeniable truth.
your eyes flicked back to his, because he was right. "you didn't stop me," you said.
his gaze didn’t waver. “you didn’t want me to.”
your breath caught, because that was true too. "this is going to get messy." you meant it as a warning, but realization was just catching up to you.
'it already is."
you let out a quiet breath, shaking your head slightly like you were trying to clear it—but it didn’t work. nothing about this felt clear.
it felt heavy. complicated. wrong. but still— completely, disgustingly right. because when you looked at him, there was nothing distant about it. nothing empty or uncertain like you were used to.
“i’m not going to pretend it didn’t mean anything," he said. his voice was low and controlled, but there was something else in it now. something more raw.
your chest tightened. because neither were you. "it shouldn't have meant anything," you said. but even you didn't believe your own words.
his eyes dropped to your lips again, slower this time. more deliberate. "but it did."
your heart was racing even faster now as thick silence filled the room. because this wasn't tension anymore. it wasn't another almost moment with him like you always had. this was something real. something you both couldn't undo.
"i need to go," you said finally. and this time, you meant it.
jimin nodded once. he didn't stop you or try to pull you back in. but his eyes stayed on you the entire time, watching. holding. not letting you off easy. and just as you reached the door—
“don’t go back to him like this didn’t happen.”
the words stopped you cold. your hand froze on the handle, chest tightening. because you knew exactly what he meant.
slowly, you turned around, meeting his intense gaze. "i don't think i can," you squeaked, quietly honest. but too, terrifyingly real.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾
you didn’t sleep. every time you closed your eyes—you felt it again.
his hand on your waist. his voice, low, tell me to stop.
the way he didn’t. the way you didn’t. his plush lips moving against yours like he starved for that moment.
your phone buzzed. you reached for it immediately.
jimin: you awake
your heart skipped. it was 3 am, hours after you left his place.
you: yeah
a second or two passed.
jimin: you left too fast
you: i had to
jimin: didn't feel like you wanted to
your chest tightened, heart beat quickening too fast for the early morning. because he was absolutely right.
you: i didn't
another pause as you stared intensely at your glowing screen in the darkness of your room.
jimin: don't go back to him
your stomach flipped.
you: i have to talk to him
jimin: that’s not what i said
your breath caught. his tone, even through a screen—felt the same. certain and possessive in a way that made your pulse pick up.
jimin: you're not his anymore
your heart practically jumped out of your chest.
you: you can’t say that
jimin: i just did.
come over after
you: i don’t know if i should
the response came instantly this time.
jimin: you will
your breath caught once more, chills tingling your body. because you already knew he was right.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾
seojun knew something was off the moment you walked into his place. "you okay?" he asked, glancing up from his phone.
you nodded too fast. "yeah," you lied. but this time you hardly tried to make it sound convincing.
you stayed standing, hovering instead of sitting and getting comfortable. you didn't pretend like you normally would. "i think we should talk.”
that got his attention. he frowned slightly, setting his phone down. “about what?”
your chest tightened. but you didn’t hesitate this time. because you couldn’t. not anymore. "this isn't working."
the word landed between you two, flat and final.
he blinked. "what?"
you swallowed. “us. this—whatever this is. it’s not working.”
a pause. then a scoff. “are you serious right now?”
“yes.”
he leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “this is because of last night, isn’t it? you’re still mad?”
“no,” your voice was quieter now, but stronger. “it’s not just last night.”
“then what?” he pressed. "because this feels like it came out of nowhere.” and god, that infuriated you. because it didn’t. not at all.
"you don't show up for me," you started, every last bit of hesitation in you crumbling.
“you cancel. you don’t listen. you barely even—” you stopped, shaking your head. “i feel like i’m not even there half the time.”
his eyebrows pulled together. "that's not true."
"it is."
"you're exaggerating." there it was again. that same tone, the same dismissal as always.
and finally, you felt it clearly. the difference. "no, i'm not."
he ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. “so what, you’re just going to end it? just like that?”
suddenly, your phone buzzed in your hand. you didn’t mean to look, but you did anyways.
jimin: you there yet
your breath caught without you even realizing.
"you're not even listening to me," seojun snapped.
your gaze lifted slowly. "i am." but your voice didn't match—weak like he had just pulled you out of some magical trance.
"then why does it feel like you're already checked out?" he asked.
"because i think i am," you admitted quietly. the words hurt him in a way that you noticed.
"wow," he muttered, leaning back. "so that's it? you're just done?"
another buzz from your phone, your fingers tightening around it as you read the message.
jimin: don't let him talk you out of it
your heart started racing as you looked back at your boyfriend. really looked. and it finally felt clear. it finally wasn't confusing or complicated, it was just completely over.
"i'm so done," you said. it was soft, but final.
seojun let out a short, disbelieving laugh. “you’re seriously throwing this away?”
throwing it away. like it was something worth keeping.
you shook your head. "no," you said. "i've been holding onto something that wasn't really there."
he stared at you for a second longer, like he was trying to figure out when he lost you. he didn’t realize he already had.
“fine,” he said finally. “if that’s what you want.” it wasn’t anger. not fully, at least. just a bruised ego.
and just like that, it was over. you turned toward the door, and this time, he didn't stop you. your phone buzzed again as soon as you stepped outside. you didn't even have to look, you already knew.
jimin: it's done isn't it
you: yeah
your breath hitched as soon as the typing bubble appeared.
jimin: come here
and without hesitation or second guessing, you were already on your way.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾
the door barely closed behind you before jimin was already there. too close, the heat of his body warming you up from the cold night air. like he’d been waiting for this exact moment for an anticipated amount of time.
"you came," he said. it wasn't a question.
your breath was still uneven from the walk and from everything that had just happened, to him.
“yeah,” you said softly.
“i told you that you would."
your heart was still racing as you set your bag down, but you didn’t move any further into the apartment. didn't create space between you and him.
"it's done," you said, like you needed to say it out loud. like it would make all of this real.
his gaze didn't leave yours. "i know," he said. a small pause. "because you're here."
your breath caught as silence settled between you. but it wasn't at all quiet. instead it was incredibly thick, charged with something that was already building—faster this time. stronger.
"this is… a lot,” you admitted, your voice softer now. “everything just—happened.”
“and you still came here."
that made your gaze avert over to him immediately, taking in his features and the way he looked at you. something in your chest tightened. because you knew what that meant.
"i don't think i was going anywhere else," you said.
that did something to him. you saw it in the way his jaw tightened, the way his shoulders squared slightly like something in him had locked into place. "good," he said quietly.
you let out a small breath in an attempt to steady yourself. "we should probably... slow down."
the words sounded right, responsible, and safe. but jimin didn't agree. didn't argue either. instead, he just watched you for a few seconds too long.
"you don't actually want that," he said.
your brows pulled together slightly. "you don't know that."
"i do," he replied casually. “you don’t actually want that.”
“you say that,” you started, “but this is all really fast and i just—”
your words cut off sharply, because suddenly he moved, closing the space between you in one step. his hand found your wrist once again—it wasn't rough or forceful, but it was enough to stop your pacing and put an end to your thinking.
“stop talking yourself out of it,” he said, voice lower now.
your breath caught, heart pounding so hard it echoed in your head. “i’m not—”
“you are," he said softly, his thumb brushing lightly against your wrist. grounding, yet claiming.
“you felt it,” he continued. “you know what this is.”
your chest rose and fell faster now. "i don’t know what it is,” you whispered.
“that’s not true," he said lowly in your ear.
he guided you back a step. then another. and another, until the back of your knees hit the couch and you sat without even realizing it.
and he followed, sitting closely next to you. too close. your heart was racing now. it wasn't from fear. it was entirely him. and the threateningly perfect idea of being his that made your heart ache.
"this isn't wrong," he said, quieter now.
you shook your head slightly. “it feels like it should be.”
“it doesn’t.”
“it does.”
“but you’re still here.”
that again. that truth you couldn’t argue with. before you could respond, both his hands snaked their way around your waist, firm and certain. and then suddenly, you were being pulled into his lap.
your breath caught sharply, hands instinctively landing on his broad shoulders to steady yourself. “jimin—”
his name came out softer than you meant it to. less like a warning and much more like something else.
“you keep acting like you don’t want this,” he murmured, his voice right there, close enough to feel. “but you do.”
your pulse was racing. “i didn’t say i don’t—”
“exactly.”
your fingers tightened slightly against his shirt. because being this close—his cologne and warmth making your head spin—feeling him like this, hearing the words he uttered with such confidence and possession,
made it impossible for you to think straight.
“this is going to get complicated,” you muttered, but it sounded weaker now. less certain.
"it already is," he said. he didn't care.
“i really don’t want to mess this up, chim” you admitted, a sad pout forming at your lips, eyes suddenly glossy. but it was something honest. something incredibly real and directly from your heart.
and god, did that make jimin's stomach flip. he couldn't stand to see anything that wasn't a smile on your face. he absolutely hated it. and tears? he couldn't bare to let it happen.
his gaze softened. “you won’t," he said firmly.
“how do you know?” you sniffed.
“because i’m not letting you.” the words landed heavy.
your breath caught again. “but, you can’t just decide that—"
“i already did.”
his hand shifted slightly at your waist, grounding you there, keeping you close to him and nothing but him.
“i’ve wanted you for too long to pretend this isn’t happening,” he said, quieter now. “i’m not going to step back and watch you go to someone else again.”
your heart skipped, your brain going quiet for a second. "jimin..."
"tell me you don't want this," he said. he gave you the chance again. he gave you the chance to run away back to your apartment with your brother, to his best friend, and forget this ever happened.
but you didn't take it.
and for him, that was it. his burning gaze dropped to your lips, slow and intentional. like he needed to take his time, soaking up your presence and every last one of your features in front of him.
your breath hitched as your grip tightened on him slightly. "we said we would slow down," you whispered. but you didn't move.
and then, his lips met yours once again. but this time, you didn't pause. this time, the shock and hesitation didn't exist. just the same intensity, but stronger now, deeper, like everything you two held back before was completely gone for good.
your hands didn't hesitate either. they clung onto him like you had already chosen your present and future with him, snaking up his chest and around his neck, fingers curled lightly into his hair.
he kissed you like no one else had ever kissed you before, with the utmost passion and devotion—like he had spent years dreaming about doing it every day. because he had.
you responded, lips moving against his with desire. no pause to think, no space to breathe—just the same pull as before, stronger now, like something that had been building for years finally had somewhere to go.
his hands stayed firm at your waist, keeping you close against him, like he didn’t trust you to stay if he let go. like he didn’t trust himself enough to just let you.
“you feel that?” he murmured against you, voice low, rough in a way you haven't heard before. “that's not nothing.”
your fingers tightened in his shirt, making him weak in the head. “i know,” you whispered. because you felt it all.
“i tried to stay away from you,” he admitted, quieter now, his forehead pressing lightly against yours for half a second before he pulled you back in. “you make that impossible.”
your heart was racing too fast now. so loudly that it felt as if it was echoing throughout your entire body.
“you keep coming back to me,” he said. “don’t act like you don’t know why.”
you swore you could feel your throat swell up at that. but you didn't answer.
one hand slid slightly down your side, grounding and steady; like he needed to make sure that you were really there. the other found it's way along your jaw, tilting it upwards to match his eye level.
"you're not his anymore."
the words sent something sharp through your chest. and this time it wasn't guilt.
your hands found his face for a second, pulling him back toward you, like you didn’t want the space, didn’t want the thinking, didn’t want anything to interrupt this again.
“i’ve wanted this for too long,” he said against you quietly. but his tone was coated with nothing but pain and desire.
and that did it. whatever restraint left was entirely gone as you kissed him this time. he all but melted against you, his grip tightening on you as he captured your lips hungrily in between his.
you barely pulled apart, the room filled with nothing but light breaths, small, muffled moans, and the sound of your lips moving together.
when you finally separated for the quickest breath, jimin's eyes swirled with pure darkness. "you have no idea what you do to me," he muttered against your lips before engulfing them into his once more.
it wasn't long before he swiped his tongue greedily against your lips, cheekily asking for entrance. you obliged, humming into him as he shamelessly explored your mouth with a smile.
his hands traveled father down your body, past your hips and slowly up and down your your ass, grasping it like he already owned it. you moaned desperately, tilting your head back with a string of saliva pulling from both of your lips, an unbearable heat pooling between your legs.
he saw it as an opportunity to litter your neck with kisses; starting gently at your jaw before going further down your neck—becoming more sloppy, open-mouthed, and claiming. his hands made it further past your ass, fingers tracing needily against your thighs.
“do you know how hard it’s been to stay away from you?” he murmured against your collarbone, now sucking and biting at the skin as you melted beneath him.
you could only moan in response, but that didn't stop him. "he never deserved you," he grumbled, voice low and rough with something close to anger. "i knew that the moment i met him."
before you could respond, his captured you into another kiss, growling against your lips as your fingernails dug into his neck. soon, his slender fingers slid underneath your ass before he stood up, gripping you tightly as you quickly wrapped your legs around him.
your tongues moved together while your hands tangled themselves into his hair. his grip on you was tight, firm, like holding you was his entire life's purpose.
the kiss broke apart as he placed you down on his bed gently, your body quickly being cushioned by plush comforters and pillows. before he joined you on the bed, his eyes burned into your figure—like he had to make sure that this moment was real. that the girl that never left his mind once for years, was really on his bed, in front of him.
he blinked in disbelief before desire rapidly took over his eyes, climbing on top of you and capturing your lips between his hungrily. "are you sure you want this?" jimin asked gently, voice low and quiet against your lips.
"yes," you nodded breathlessly. "i want this, chim."
his heart clenched at the nickname, almost making his head dizzy and his restraint falter. god, he just wanted to ruin you. he wanted to show you how you really deserve to be treated. he wanted to show you that he was the only right man for you. the only man that could spoil you rotten with gifts and attention—the only man that could ever treat you right and fuck you right.
he sucked in a sharp breath, his rough hands finding your chin and tilting it up to meet his consuming gaze. "you have no idea what it did to me... watching you be with someone else." he seethed, making his way to your neck and sucking the skin gently between his lips.
you shivered under his touch but you didn't ignore the way the words made your heart ache. "chim..." you whispered.
"you're mine now," he growled against your skin, littering it with wet, open-mouthed kisses. "no turning back from this. no running back to that fucker who didn't know your worth."
"no," you shook your head, unable to ignore the unbearable heat pooling between your legs. "i only want you, jimin.”
his breath became shaky against you, like the words that had just left your mouth struck something deep in him. he captured your lips between his, sucking your bottom lip into his mouth.
you tugged at his shirt with greed and he complied immediately, tugging it off with rough hands and throwing it somewhere to be forgotten.
you quickly traced your manicured nails along his curated abs like you'd done it plenty of times before, and jimin shivered under your touch like you had grazed his soul.
it didn't take long before his hands snaked their way around your top, slender fingers dipping into the hem. your hand met his, guiding it upwards until he eventually ripped your top off.
jimin shuddered at the sight of you half-naked beneath him, your doe-eyes peering up at him with desire, waiting for him, yearning for his next move. it almost made him dizzy. “so perfect, baby.”
he littered your cleavage with kisses before circling a tongue around one nipple as you cried out in pleasure. his free hand trailed down your body, finding its way between your thighs and lightly trailing against your clothed clit.
he sucked your nipple between his lips slowly before gently biting at the skin on your boob, leaving small kisses and licks after you whimpered against him.
his lips quickly found their way to your other tit, engulfing it softly into his mouth before you realized his hand was slowly pulling down your shorts and making his way through your panties.
you reacted quickly, his mouth still attached to your breasts as you shoved your shorts further down your legs. jimin pulled back, a pop! sound filling the air as your nipple hardened from the immediate cold.
he assisted you in fully taking your shorts off, discarding them somewhere in the room before fully taking in your figure.
his thick cock only strained harder against his jeans as he took in the sight of you. the sight of you that he had been dreaming of for years, fisting his dick every night to the thought of you and only you. when he hooked up with girls, which was rare—he would only do it to imagine it was you. and now, the moment was finally hitting him.
"fuck," he grunted before enveloping his plush lips with yours slowly, taking them in and swiping his tongue inside your mouth.
his fingers traced your core, still barely protected by your lace thong that you carefully chose before going out tonight. "wore these for me baby?" he murmured against your lips.
you nodded eagerly and he smirked against your lips before hooking your panties to the side and teasingly tracing his fingers down your wet folds. "they're pretty baby," he said. "almost as pretty as you."
you practically keened beneath him, legs quivering with need. he teased you a for half a second longer before inserting one, long finger inside of you. you felt your wetness gush out of you and around his finger as you moaned in pure bliss.
he plunged inside of you, his thumb slowly rubbing your clit as he added another finger.
"taking me so good baby," he murmured against your ear before placing a light kiss at your neck. "need to get you ready for my cock, hm?"
suddenly, the warmth of his body left you as he lowered himself down your thighs, adjusting your leg to sit on top of his shoulder with one hand, the other one still thrusting into you. you quickly responded, lifting your other leg on his shoulder as you whimpered in a mix of need and pleasure.
it wasn't long before his head was dipped between your legs, his lips kissing your folds while his fingers worked inside of you slow, but deep. your thighs were practically twitching against him, core dripping against his lips with anticipation.
you could feel him smile against your pussy in satisfaction as he begins to finally intrude his tongue between your folds. he licked a rudely long stripe up your pussy before he started to fully lap against you, taking in every last bit of your arousal.
"jimin-!" you moaned out, your fingers intertwining with his hair needily.
his lips wrapped around your folds as he plunged his tongue into your hole, exploring your velvety insides greedily as he growled against you. your back arched off of his bed in absolute pleasure, bliss filling your entire body—heat coiling in your stomach as he worked at you like a man starved.
soon enough, your orgasm tore through you, covering jimin in your slick. he lapped at it hungrily, his fingers slowing inside of you and guiding you to release. once you finished, he pulled away, licking your slick off of his fingers.
"such a good girl for me," he grunted before engulfing you into a kiss filled with desire, tasting yourself on his lips. you pulled back, a string of saliva caught between your lips as you looked down at his strained member.
his eyes followed your vision but before he could process it, your hands were fumbling with his belt. when he realized it, it only made him harder. a smile tugged at his lips he helped you take it off, his fingers pulling apart the button and swiftly coming off of the bed.
his member was clung tight against his boxers as his jeans pooled around his ankles, fully revealing his sculpted body to you.
you eyes trailed down him, making your way to the end of the bed on your knees. he stopped completely—his dark, low eyes following your every move as you approached him.
you pushed yourself up on your knees to meet his height, hands sneaking behind his neck, nails lightly digging in his skin as they made their way slightly down his back.
he nearly shivered as you trailed your hands down his built shoulders, shifting down his abs until your fingers found their way around the hem of his boxers. you peered up at him, his burning gaze immediately making you shudder.
you pulled down his boxers and his cock immediately sprung out in front of you—long, thick, and leaking with precum. your mouth nearly watered at the sight, but your mouth became agape.
because seojun was nowhere near as big as this.
"yeah, like what you see, baby?" he said with a smirk, lightly stroking his cock in front of your face. "it's all yours, pretty girl."
"wanna feel it all," you whispered weakly, eyes not leaving his.
"fuck," he groaned, his voice low. "yeah, wanna take me raw baby? wanna feel all of me, hm?"
you nodded desperately and jimin's hands found your shoulders and gently pushed you back onto his bed. you landed between his plush pillows before his figure blocked your view, his eyes scanning you with hunger.
he lowered himself above you, one hand planted beside your head while the other guided his cock to your sopping wet entrance, sliding it up and down your folds teasingly.
"chim-!" you whined out, pout tugging at your lips.
he kissed that pout away all before entering you slowly, your folds engulfing his hot, angry, cock and painfully adjusting around his length. you cried out in a mix of pleasure and ache. it was a kind of stretch you had never experienced before.
"shh, baby," he cooed gently. "it's okay. you're taking me so good."
after a few minutes of stillness, he pushed further inside of you slowly. your walls expanded around him as his tip soon hit the back, bulge deep in your stomach. he began to pick up his pace, almost fully pulling out before plunging back inside of you, thrusting at a steady pace.
you moaned out in pleasure, nothing but you and him and the sound of your pussy squelching from his cock existing in your brain.
"fuck," he moaned loudly. "this pussy was fuckin' made for me."
you moaned in response, clenching tighter around him as his tip started to hit your g-spot relentlessly, his thumb circling your clit. your eyes rolled to the back of you head as you took his every thrust, brain feeling absolutely fucked numb.
jimin felt like his entire body was lit on fire from being inside of you, legs wrapped around his shoulders and in the air as he explored every inch of your insides greedily with his thick, curved member. his pace was nearly impossible, hitting your pussy at an obliterating angle you didn't even know existed.
"chimmy..." you whined. "it's too much."
"no baby," he protested breathlessly against you. "look at you, taking me so fuckin' good 'cause you were made for me. weren't you baby? gonna take my cum tonight."
you simply nodded, whining in response but he wasn't having it. he needed to hear you. his free hand found your ass cheek, gently caressing it before placing a light smack!
"use your words, baby," he growled.
"yes-!" you moaned almost miserably as hot pleasure coiled tightly in your core. "i was made for you, chim- all yours-!"
"fuck," he growled darkly, his thrusts becoming sloppier but harder, fingers focused on your clit. "yeah, you're mine baby. been watching you walking away from me for years. 'm not letting that happen again."
you felt your back arching off the mattress once again, moaning loudly at his words and the way he bruised your walls.
"my pretty girl," he cooed as he felt your insides clench tighter around him. "i don't share you. you understand me?"
"yes- god, jimin- i'm all yours-!" you cried out, fingers digging into his shoulders as his pace quickened, taking you both to your orgasms.
suddenly, the heat that built up in your stomach tore right through you like a riptide, jimin fucking you through both of your releases while spilling his hot seed inside of you, plastering your walls with white. you shivered beneath him as he rode through the high, his thrusts becoming slower.
your pussy throbbed shamelessly around his thick cock as he came to a stop, burying it deeper so he could milk every last drop of his cum inside of you before pulling out.
you were simply too stunned to speak, still struggling to catch your breath as jimin placed soft kisses along your face. "you okay, baby?" he whispered gently before placing a peck in your hair.
"yes," you replied, eyes big and wide as you took in every last inch of him in front of you. "more than okay, chim."
his gaze softened immediately, moving beside you and immediately wrapping his arms around you—closing the distance between you as you melted against his chest. he breathed in your scent, the shampoo and perfume filling his nostrils and your warmth against him making his heart pump faster than he could ever admit.
and despite the butterflies that sent flying through your body, it felt completely natural in a way you both couldn't ignore. like you both had done this, cuddled up in bed together a million times.
jimin was completely enamored by you, and you could finally see it in the way he looked at you. the dark that had clouded his eyes moments ago while he was inside of you had disappeared entirely—and was replaced by something curated purely from love and devotion.
but he couldn't ignore the way dark circles tugged at the bottom of your eyes as you looked at him so deeply, his heart pulling at the thought of your day today. he pulled you in closer, one hand resting behind your head while the other slowly caressed your cheek.
"you don't have to think right now," he said softly. "just stay with me."
you nodded, a familiar warmth spreading throughout your body and finally to your heart. "i want to stay with you, chim."
he captured your lips in between his slowly, like he had to etch this moment into his brain. when you finally pulled apart, the eye contact was nearly unbreakable. and with a few more kisses and sweet nothings from him, your eyelids became more heavy.
"i've got you baby," he cooed quietly. "i'm not going anywhere. ever."
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾
you woke up slowly. your eyes opened to soft morning light spilling through the curtains, the room quiet except for the steady rhythm of jimin's breathing behind you.
jimin's. not seojun. not some shitty bum who didn't care about you. it was jimin. his arms were still wrapped around you, firm enough to keep you in place against him all night.
you didn't get up or pull away. instead, you let yourself feel it. everything from last night—clear, vivid, impossible to ignore. the way you chose him. the way it only felt right to keep choosing him.
your chest rose slowly with a breath you didn't realize you were holding. this was real. and it wasn't a mistake. it wasn't something you could pretend didn't happen.
you shifted slightly, just enough to turn in his arms. his grip tightened instantly.
“don’t go,” he murmured, voice rough, barely awake.
your heart softened immediately. “i’m not,” you whispered.
his eyes opened slowly after that, adjusting to the light, but they found you immediately, like they always did.for a second, neither of you spoke. you just looked at each other, eye contact burning while taking the moment all in.
“you’re still here,” he said quietly, like he couldn't believe it.
you almost smiled. “yeah.” like there was nowhere else you'd rather be.
his gaze searched yours for a moment longer, like he was looking for something underneath the surface. something you hadn’t said yet. “do you regret it?” he asked carefully.
you didn’t answer right away. not because you didn’t know—but because you wanted to be honest. your fingers traced lightly along his arm where it rested around you, grounding yourself in the feeling of him. in the reality of this.
“no,” you said finally. but there wasn't any hesitation or fear.
his expression shifted, relief settling over his expression. “not even a little?” he asked, quieter now.
you shook your head gently. “no,” you repeated. "i don’t.”
his hand slid slightly along your side, slower now, less urgent than before but still intentional—like he just needed to feel you there. still his. and still against him.
“i was scared i would,” you admitted softly.
his brows pulled together slightly. “and?”
you met his gaze. "i don't.”
silence settled again, but it wasn’t heavy. instead it was full of uncovered truths and the familiarity of each other.
“i think i'm just... trying to catch up,” you continued, your voice quieter now. “everything feels different.”
“it is,” he said.
your breath caught slightly. “does that scare you?”
"no," he shook his head without hesitation. “only thing that would've scared me is you walking away.”
your chest tightened, because you knew he meant that with everything in him. “i’m not going anywhere,” you said.
and when you said it—it didn’t feel like a maybe or a possibility. and he felt it. his hand stilled for a second at your waist, like he was registering the words and holding onto them.
"good," he murmured softly against you.
you shifted closer without thinking, your hand resting lightly against his chest now, feeling his heartbeat. it felt steady, steadying you into a wave of calmness you haven't experienced in a while.
“this is a lot,” you said again, but softer this time. less overwhelmed, but aware of the future situation awaiting.
“i know,” he said quietly. “but you don’t have to figure it all out right now.”
your eyes lifted back to his. “yeah?”
his thumb brushed lightly along your arm. “just stay."
you nodded. “okay.”
and for awhile, neither of you moved. you didn't rush or overthink anything—you just stayed there. wrapped up in each other, tangled in something that had been building for years, finally existing.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾
it should’ve been easy. you'd done this a hundred times before—group settings, loud rooms, easy laughter, nothing to hide.
but now—everything felt different.
you walked in the bar first. jimin came ten minutes later, all on purpose.
jaehyun barely looked up from his phone. “you made it.”
“yeah,” you said, forcing a small smile as you slipped into your seat.
and then—jimin walked in, your breath catching before you could stop it. it was small, quick enough for nobody to notice. but jimin did, like always. your eyes met for half a second. that was it. but it was enough to thicken the tension between you.
he didn’t smile or acknowledge it. just walked past like nothing had changed—like last night simply didn’t exist.
but when he sat down across from you, too close—you felt it immediately. the shift in the energy between you, the awareness in the energy that sparked.
the way you couldn’t look at him for too long without remembering exactly how it felt to be right with him, not even a few hours ago. the way your brother was sitting right next to with the chance of smelling jimin's cologne on you.
“so what’s everyone doing this weekend?” someone asked.
quickly enough, voices overlapped, plans were thrown around. and you tried to focus. tried your best to stay present. but you failed.
because every time you laughed or moved—you could feel his eyes on you. not obvious or constant. but there. always there.
"then why are you zoning out?" he whispered a little too loudly, loud enough for jimin to hear—or maybe he was just eavesdropping too hard.
your stomach dropped. "i'm not."
across the table, jimin leaned back slightly, watching.
at some point, his fingers brushed against your knee under the table. it was accidental and barely there, but your breath caught sharply.
you pulled back immediately, but he didn't. his fingers lingered for a second longer before pulling away, like a reminder. like a warning.
your pulse spiked and you suddenly couldn't bare to look at him, even if you tried with everything in you.
"you okay?" jaehyun asked again. now you couldn’t seem look at your brother either.
"yeah," you said, a little too fast. "just need some air." and you stood before anyone could question you any further, walking out before you could even think.
and not even thirty seconds later, you heard the door open behind you. of course.
"running away again?"
your breath was slightly uneven as you turned to face jimin. "i just- i needed a second."
"you always do that," he said gently.
"you always follow."
he didn't deny it. silence settled for a second, but it didn't stay quiet for long.
"this isn't going to work, chim," you said without thinking, breath uneven and a sad pout forming at your lips. "not like this. not around them."
"then don't act like nothing happened," he said, voice lower now and suddenly much closer.
"i'm just trying to keep this from blowing up," you said.
"and i'm not?" he shot back.
you shook your head slightly. "you're making it harder, chim."
"good."
your brows pulled together. "why would you-"
"because i don't want you pretending we didn't just spend the night together. don't want you pretending like you didn't say you were mine."
and there the words were, out loud, too real, and sitting heavy in the air between you. your breath caught. "you can't just say that out loud."
"i just did," he replied simply, stepping closer to you. it wasn't close enough to draw attention if any of your friends—or your brother—peaked their head out the door to check on you two. but it was enough to for the smell of his cologne and the warmth of his body to wrap around you.
“you think i’m going to go back to acting like you’re just—what?” he continued, quieter now. “my best friend’s little sister?”
your heart skipped. because just minutes ago, that had been exactly what you had tried so desperately to do. sitting there, next to your brother and across from jimin, it all hit you like a truck.
"you're not" he said firmly.
you couldn't ignore the way your chest tightened and your throat swelled at his words. "this is complicated."
"i don't care," he said simply. and he meant it.
his hand found your wrist lightly, but it was enough to ground you. it was enough to look up at him, to hold his intense gaze that almost made your knees buckle.
“i meant what i said,” he added, voice lower now. “i’m not letting you go back to something that wasn’t even right for you.”
your pulse picked up again, looking away from him in pain. “but this isn’t that simple.”
“it is to me.”
and you when looked back up at him, something in your chest ached again. because for not once second did he hesitate. not even a little. he never did when it came to you.
"i only want you," he said quietly, but it was firm and final.
your breath caught, throat swelling as your heart thumped against your chest. because there was no doubt in the way he said it. he said it and left no space for uncertainty in your mind.
"i want you too, jimin," you admitted quietly, tears threatening to form at your water line.
if he hadn't noticed the water pooling at your bottom eyelashes, those words would've knocked him off his balance. he swallowed thickly, like he needed to fully process what you had just admitted.
"hey," he said, his gaze softening quickly. his grip on your arm loosened as he rubbed his thumb against your arm to comfort you. "we're going to figure this out, okay?"
"okay," you sniffled, holding his gaze.
"i can't loose you, y/n," he said, a hint of pain leaking through his tone.
"you won't," you replied almost firmly, tears quickly evaporating.
his hands found yours, intertwining them with his. "good," he muttered quietly, eyes mixed with hope and pain.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾
your brother wasn't stupid.
he didn't say anything at first. instead, he just watched.
he watched the way you left the table quickly. and the way his best friend didn't hesitate to follow right after. the way neither of you came back for more than a few minutes.
and when you both finally came back inside, you didn't sit near each other. for the rest of the night, you didn't talk or even look at each other.
it was too careful. you and jimin had never spent the night, out with all of your friends, and not talk to each other once.
later that night, when everyone started heading out—when you had just slipped out the door with one of your girlfriends—your brother caught jimin by the shoulder. “yo.”
he turned, expression neutral. “what's up, man?”
jaehyun paused before asking, “you good, bro?”
it was a normal question. the way he said it was casual. but jimin knew by the randomness of the question, it wasn't at all that.
"yeah," jimin replied, but it came out of his mouth too quick.
jaehyun watched him for a second longer, his brows pulling together slightly. "you and...y/n okay?"
those words landed heavier, the sound of your name thickening the air in a way neither of them had felt before.
but jimin didn't react. "what do you mean?"
"i mean-" jaehyun shrugged slightly "you've been acting weird all night." a beat of silence waved through them. "and so has she."
the air and everything else around them seemed to still for a moment.
"we're good," he said simply, but with a bit too much control.
jaehyun almost didn't look convinced in the slightest bit. but he nodded anyway. "alright," he said, his hand leaving jimin's shoulder.
"just don't make things complicated," jaehyun continued, voice quieter now.
and that almost made jimin laugh,
because it was way too late for that.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾
you started texting jimin first. it wouldn't be about anything important.
you: hiii
what are you doinggg
i miss you
those texts pulled at his heartstrings, making him dizzy in the head and pulling his phone out at work just to text you back. he didn't even look at the time.
jimin: i miss you too pretty girl
i'm at work
wish i was with you
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾
you showed up to his apartment a few days later without hesitation. and he noticed. of course he did.
“you didn’t even think about it this time,” jimin said, watching you step inside while holding the door open for you.
you shrugged slightly, slipping off your shoes. “i knew where i wanted to be.”
and the moment those words left your mouth, it did something to him. and even you could see it. it was in the way his posture shifted, in the way his eyes stayed on you a second longer.
like he was still getting used to the fact that you weren't fighting it anymore. “say that again,” he murmured, stepping closer to you.
your breath caught slightly. “i said i knew where i wanted to be.”
“no,” he said, stepping closer. “the part you didn’t say out loud.”
your heart started racing, because you knew exactly what he meant. you hesitated, but only for a small second. "i wanted you."
silence filled the air, heavy—but charged with some kind of electricity that was enough to make your knees weaken underneath his gaze.
jimin closed the distance instantly, his hand finding your waist, pulling you into him like it was second nature now.
“yeah,” he said quietly, ignoring the way his stomach twisted at those words. “i know.” but his voice wasn't causal or light. it was full of something entirely deeper, something so deep you couldn't ignore it. something that had been waiting.
“you keep choosing me,” he added, his forehead brushing lightly against yours.
your breath caught. "i am."
his grip tightened slightly on you, his other hand finding its way up your neck and against your jaw. "good," he muttered before pulling your lips in with his.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾
for two weeks, you and jimin barely went out together.
you'd spent time together his place, seeming to never getting bored of each other's presence. you'd spend those days playing games together, cooking, watching shows—and of course, getting tangled up in his sheets together.
you didn't sit next to each other in front of everyone when going out with friends. didn't make it obvious. but it was definitely there.
it was there in the way his hand would brush yours under the table and linger just a second too long. the way you'd glance across the room and he would already be looking.
the way you'd get a text from him while you were standing ten feet away from him in the club.
jimin: come outside
your heart jumped. and you'd go, every single time.
“anyone could see us,” you whispered, stepping out into the cool night air.
“then stop coming when i ask," he shrugged. because he knew you wouldn’t.
“i hate you, chimmy,” you murmured, but there was no weight behind it.
“no, you don’t," he said, stepping closer. too close, like always. “i can’t get enough of you like this,” he admitted lowly, eyes scanning you and licking his lips so briefly you almost didn't notice it.
it hit you harder than it should’ve. “how?” you asked softly. “we’re barely even—”
“exactly.” his hand found your wrist, pulling you just slightly closer. “but you’re still choosing me.”
your breath caught, heart practically hammering against your chest.
“you don’t even realize what that does to me,” he added, voice so low like it was to himself.
you looked up at him, ignoring the heat pooling between your thighs. “then tell me.”
his eyes dropped to your lips. then, slowly, back up. "it makes me want more," he grunted.
“and what happens when someone finds out?” you whispered.
but he didn’t hesitate. "then they find out.”
“you don’t care?”
his gaze locked onto yours. not even a second of doubt across his face. “not when it comes to you.”
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾
you were in jimin's kitchen, leaning against the counter like you'd been there a hundred times before. because at this point, you basically had.
you were wearing one of his hoodies—like you always did now, when you felt his eyes on you.
“you’re here a lot,” he said, watching you.
you glanced up, smiling. “you complaining?”
“no," he replied quickly.
your smile softened. “then what?”
he didn’t answer right away. instead, he looked at you. taking in every inch of you—wearing his hoodie, in his apartment.
he looked at you like he was trying to figure out how to say something he’d been holding in for too long.
he stepped closer. "i've been wanting this for so long," he admitted quietly, gesturing between you and him. your breath caught.
"you keep choosing me," he continued, his voice lower now. "so i'm asking you-" he paused every so slightly.
"will you be mine?"
your chest tightened, heart beating too quickly for you to fully process his words. it wasn’t dramatic or overly romantic, it was jimin. direct, certain, and too real.
you stepped closer, close enough to be engulfed by his warmth, trying to ignore the way the words made your brain feel like mush. "i am yours," you said quietly, but it was certain.
his hand found your waist instantly, pulling you in like he didn’t need to hold back anymore. “yeah,” he murmured. “you are.”
and this time—it didn’t feel dangerous. it felt so right.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾
you kept your things at your apartment, but you stayed at jimin's. more nights than not.
but you started to leave your clothes behind without realizing, and a pink toothbrush eventually showed up. and sometimes—when jaehyun wasn't home for the night, you'd even bring your cat over.
“you’re basically living here,” he muttered one night with a smile, watching you curl up into his couch like it was yours.
you pouted. “you don’t like it?”
he walked over, pulling you up into him without hesitation and placing a kiss on your forehead. “i didn’t say that, baby.”
because he liked it too much. he got so used to you being there. to your voice in his space. to the way you'd fall asleep next to him like it was the most natural thing in the world.
jimin didn't want it to go back to how it was before. not even a little.“you’re not going anywhere, right?” he asked once, quieter than usual.
you looked up at him, surprised. “where would i go?”
he didn’t answer. because didn’t need to. your hand found his. “i’m not going anywhere, chim.”
and that was all he needed.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾
one week into you and jimin being official, the apartment door opened too early. too suddenly.
"yo, man-"
it was your brother. and he stopped mid-sentence at the sight of you. you, his sister, on his best friend's couch—no, better yet—on his lap. with his best friend's arms wrapped around your waist so comfortably.
there was no space between you two, and certainly no excuse that either of you could possibly dare to utter. silence filled the room instantly, heavy and sharp.
"what the fuck is this?" jaehyun exclaimed, brows pulling together sharply. but his voice wasn't loud, it didn't need to be.
you froze, heart dropping in your stomach as you got off jimin's lap. "wait-"
"no," he cut you off, stepping further inside as the door shut a little too hard behind him. "no, i want to hear him explain this."
but jimin didn't move. he didn't step away or take his hands off you. "we're together," he said simply.
your brother laughed humorlessly, a hand dragging across his face. "you're joking."
"no."
“that’s my sister.”
“i know.”
“you've known her since she was a kid.”
“i know," jimin replied again, each answer calmer than the last. which only made it worse for jaeyhun.
“and you thought this was okay?” jaehyun snapped.
“i didn’t think it was anything,” he said. “i know what it is.”
“yeah?” jaehyun shot back. “then say it.”
“i care about her," he said. it didn't come out defensive or rushed. he had said it with his whole chest.
jaehyun looked at you. "is this serious to you?"
your chest tightened. because it absolutely was. "yes," you said, no hesitation found in your tone.
the anger didn't disappear from jaehyun's face, but it shifted—like he was processing instead of exploding. “this is messed up,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. “you went behind my back.”
“it wasn’t like that," you protested.
“it's exactly like that.”
silence stretched across the room again, longer this time.
"is he good to you?" jaehyun asked suddenly.
the question caught you off guard, but your heart ached at it. "yes," you replied softly. but it was certain in a way your brother had never heard you say about anybody before.
so, jaehyun looked between you two—really looked. at the way you stood next to each other, the way neither of you pulled away. the way it didn't feel awkward or forced like the way it felt with seojun.
it just felt completely natural.
"i don't like it," your brother said finally. neither of you had expected him to. "but if you hurt her-" jaehyun started, looking directly at jimin now.
"I won't," he interrupted immediately, lacking any hesitation.
another pause between the three of you before your brother sighed, frustrated and still processing. "this is weird," he muttered.
you let out a small breath. "i know."
"but... if you're serious-" jaehyun shook his head. "i'll deal with it."
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾
the first time you showed up together, it was quiet. at least, both of you had tried to be.
you walked in the club together. not ahead of each other or separate—next to each other. and that was already enough to turn the heads of all of your friends.
"wait-" one your girlfriends, chaewon blinked, looking between you two. "are you guys-?"
jimin didn't even hesitate. "yeah," he said simply. like it wasn't a big deal. like he hadn't been wanting this for years. like it hadn't been something you both were hiding a week ago.
jaehyun was watching from across the room, still adjusting. still not fully used to it.
the only difference in the night was that jimin didn't try to hide anything. at one point, his hand found yours naturally, fingers lacing together like it was all he knew.
like he had been waiting to do it in front of everyone.
you glanced up at him, a little surprised. “you’re bold today, chimmy.”
he barely looked down at you. “i’ve been holding back for years.” and your heart absolutely melted at that.
"okay..." chaewon said at one point, still processing as you met her again on the dance floor, after jimin had let go of your hand and returned to your brother and their friends. "this is—wow."
"unexpected?" you offered.
"very," she said. "but... it really makes sense!"
and for the rest of the night, no one said anything else. because the way he looked at you and the way you leaned into him—it didn't feel casual or temporary. it felt undeniably real.
later, someone made a joke across the table. you laughed, leaning forward slightly—jimin's hand sliding instinctively to your lower back.
it sent butterflies through your stomach in the way that felt grounding. like he always needed to be touching you somehow.
the night started winding down, your friends grabbing their belongings and closing off their bar tabs, but conversation and laughter still lingering.
"come on," jimin said, standing up and reaching for you.
"where are we going, chim?” you hummed, still ever so slightly tipsy.
“out," he shrugged.
“that’s not an answer.”
“it is tonight.”
jaehyun rolled his eyes. “you’re not bringing her back late.”
he didn’t even look back, his hand finding the small of your back again. “i will.”
you laughed as he pulled you along. “you’re unbelievable.”
“yeah,” he murmured, glancing down at you. “but you’re still coming with me.”
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾
you were curled up beside jimin on his couch after he had just took you out to a nice dinner, stomach full from the food and sore from the laughter he got out of you and feet aching from the heels you wore.
your legs tucked were under his and your head rested against his shoulder while something played softly on the TV.
jimin's arm was around you, fingers absentmindedly tracing slow patterns along your arm. it was something he did without thinking now. something you leaned into without question.
“you’re quiet,” you murmured.
“mm.”
it wasn't really an answer. so you tilted your head slightly, looking up at him. "what?"
he didn't respond right away. instead, he just looked at you—longer than usual. your brows pulled together slightly. "what is it, chim?"
still nothing but his same, intense gaze. you felt your heart rate suddenly pick up.
“i’ve been trying not to say something,” he admitted finally, voice low.
your chest tightened. “...why?”
“because i didn’t want to rush you.”
that caught you off guard. “rush me into what?” you asked softly.
and for the first time in a long time—jimin hesitated. and that''s how you knew that whatever it was, it definitely mattered.
his hand stilled against your arm, but his gaze never left yours. "i've loved you for a very long time, y/n," he said gently.
but the words echoed in your head, landing deep in your brain. your breath was completely taken out of you.
"i always have," he added, quieter now. "i just didn't let myself call it that."
your eyes began to fill with water almost instantly. and it wasn't because you were surprised. because somewhere, deep, deep down—you had always known.
“and i didn’t say it before,” he continued, voice steady but softer than you ever heard it, “because i didn’t want you to feel like you had to say it back. or like this—” his hand shifted slightly against you, grounding you there. “—was something you needed to catch up to.”
your chest tightened in a way you had never felt before. "jimin..."
“but i can’t keep pretending it’s not there,” he said. “not when it’s been there longer than anything else.”
a brief silence settled between you, but it wasn't heavy. it was full of everything—your childhood memories, everything you hadn't said to each other, the past month you spent with him.
your vision blurred slightly as the tears finally slipped over. you felt his warm hand gently embrace your face, softly wiping them away.
“you don’t have to say anything,” he added softly. “i just needed you to know.”
you shook your head immediately. "no," you said your voice breaking slightly. "no, i do."
his expression shifted slightly, but it was enough for your blurry vision to pick up. he was watching you, holding you, waiting ever so patiently.
you took a small breath, steadying yourself, your hands finding his shirt, holding onto him like you always did now. “i love you too.”
the words came out through tears, but they were clear. "i think i have for a while too," you admitted. "i just didn't realize it until it was already... you."
jimin's chest tightened in a way that pulled at his heartstrings. because that meant everything to him. the words that he dreamed of you saying to him had left your mouth at once.
both of his hands moved to your face, brushing gently along your cheek, catching the tears there like they mattered.
like you mattered.
“you don’t have to cry,” he murmured softly.
you let out a small, shaky laugh. “i’m not sad.”
“i know, baby.”
he leaned in slowly this time. and it wasn't rushed or desperate, it was certain. and when he kissed you, it wasn't like before.
not like the first time, full of tension and restraint breaking. or like the nights that followed, intense and consuming. this was different—softer, deeper, like everything you hadn't said to each other had finally fallen into place.
when you pulled back, you both didn't move far, foreheads pressed against each others. "i mean it," he murmured.
"i know, chimmy," you sniffled with a smile.
his hand slid back to your waist, pulling you closer again without even thinking. “say it again,” he said quietly.
you smiled through the last bit of your tears. "i love you."
and with that, his finally chest eased in a way he hadn't felt in years. "yeah," he murmured, a big smile forming at his lips as he took in the sight of you. "i love you too."
and for a while, you didn't say anything else. because everything that mattered had already been said.
for the first time, there was nothing left between you and him that wasn't real. no secrets or hesitation. just pure love and devotion. the kind that had always been there, but you both had just finally caught up to it.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚
guys i literally love themmm sm😭!! i hope u guys like my first jimin fic!! im personally OBSESSED with his obsession... like god what i would GIVE for him to feel that way about me.. ahem- anyway.. was not planning on making it so long but i just had to give ending full of fluff! love u guys sm!! let me know what y'all think <3
hi guys, here's a part 2 to my favorite jjk fics on tumblr! note that many of these fics contain 18+ content. you are responsible for the content you consume! as always, if you enjoyed any of these fics as much as i did, please take a moment to send some love to the authors! part 1 | other bts members
➺ cold nights & blurred lines - by @awrkive
summary: jungkook and you have been in a sexual relationship with each other for four months now, and it’s casual for the most part. but as time passes, you can’t help but feel that some of the lines suddenly got blurred in the process. is it a cliché to blur the lines with your fuck buddy? it definitely is. will you do something about it? both of your emotional constipation have a hard time saying yes.
➺ night crawlers - by @alphabetboyluvr
summary: jungkook’s always been good at running. track, field, red lights, shit outta luck. drugs, now, too. but he doesn’t expect to run into you. in your shared lecture halls, sure. maybe. but not down the back alleys of daerim at ass o’clock in the morning. there are only three types of women he ever sees in daerim: hookers, sugar-babies and addicts. you aren't any of those; you're a trust-fund baby who can get percocet on private repeat prescription, if you really want it. he's sure of it. so it then further begs the question: why the fuck are you here?
➺ this is how you fall in love - by @jeonqkooks
summary: after years of drinking and clubbing most days of the week and leaving every gig with a different girl on his arm, jungkook feels what it’s like to want someone with his entire being.
➺ the dilf installments - by @mercurygguk
summary: this series follows jungkook’s life as a divorced father. but wait, how exactly does one balance being a father, a boyfriend, a friend, and a respectable boss at the same time? read the installments below to find out!
➺ ultimatum - by @parkmuse
summary: your pervy, idiotic boyfriend just so happens to also be your friendly neighborhood Spider-man (in bed).
➺ a hero's journey - by @hansolmates
summary: jungkook and jisoo are the mightiest power couple. however, one drunken confession and that whole facade fades in an instant. you realize that maybe you need to break from your unvaried life for a bit and be the hero of your own love story
➺ tempest - by @kooktrash
summary: you’ve always considered your life to be more mundane than you would like to admit. it was a constant cycle of the same things over and over again that when you meet jeon jungkook at a bar, of all places, you didn’t expect to see just how much he would change your life and those around you. he’s got an air of mystery around him with his charming good looks and a violent past that you slowly begun to unravel when it feels like everything is going perfect.
➺ by its cover - by @gimmesumsuga
summary: the one where Jungkook makes a horrifically bad first impression.
➺ slow dancing - by @yoonia
summary: when your countdown appeared on your wrist right in the morning of your eighteenth birthday, you had thought that perhaps the universe was on your side, especially since the final seconds were already ticking so soon. You just never expected to have your first meeting with your soulmate to be the day when you had to let him go. But hope was not lost when you still found love without the bond, and Jungkook showed you that it was possible to find happiness beyond the system that was written for you. Except that the universe doesn’t seem to have enough of its game, when your past sacrifice comes back hitting you straight in the face, just when you had believed that you had written off the perfect ending to your bittersweet tale.
➺ e s p r e s s o - by @joonberriess
➺ hold me closer - by @ahundredtimesover
summary: when you're asked to look after your parents' house and meet them before they go on vacation, you, Jimin, and Jungkook take the trip to your hometown of Busan and relive memories of your youth. While your new relationship has you feeling like a lovesick teenager with all the affection that Jungkook shows you, you're still you - a professional trying to make it in the corporate world, and an eldest child trying not to disappoint her parents. And that turns out to be your undoing, as a little blunder causes a rift between you and Jungkook, resulting in a trip that you might as well have messed up… Not if your brother can help it, though.
→ summary: balcony sex with jimin after a night of drinking wine
→ pairing: bts!jimin x femsub!reader
→ tags: smut, jimin smut, kissing, balcony sex, hookup, risky, sneaky, quickie, late night hookup, penthouse, creampie, body worship, dialogue, eating out, no protection, bf jimin, bts jimin
→ word count: 1.6k
→ a/n: a bit of a short one if that's okay. I love writing the balcony stories but I do want to try different things that some of you may be into so send recs if u have any! for the next fic I plan on making it extremely long with different parts in one read so :P
masterlist
the soft glow of fairy lights strung across the balcony created an intimate bubble around you and jimin. months together had settled into a comfortable rhythm, but nights like these still held the spark of newness.
you swirled the deep red wine in your glass, the rich aroma mingling with the scent of jasmine from the planter beside you.
"this is nice," jimin said, his voice low and warm as he came up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. he rested his chin on your shoulder, his lips brushing against the sensitive skin of your neck. "just us."
you leaned back into his embrace, contentment washing over you. "mhm," you hummed, taking another sip of wine. "the city feels so far away from up here."
"good," he murmured, his hands sliding slowly up your sides. "because right now, i only want to focus on you."
his words sent a shiver down your spine and you set your glass down on the small table before turning in his arms to face him. his eyes were dark with hunger, even in the soft light, and you knew exactly where this was heading.
"jimin," you started, but he silenced you with a kiss, gentle yet insistent. it was a kiss that spoke of familiarity and passion, of shared secrets and whispered promises in the dark.
"i've been thinking about you all day," he admitted when you parted, his forehead resting against yours. "specifically about what's under that dress."
a slow smile spread across your face. "oh really? and what did you imagine?"
"white lace," he replied without hesitation, his hands finding the hem of your sundress and inching it up slowly. "something delicate and beautiful, just like you."
you chuckled softly as his fingers brushed against the lace of your panties, exactly as he'd predicted. "how did you know?"
"i know you," he said simply, his thumb tracing the pattern of the lace against your hip. "i know what you like, what feels good against your skin."
his touch was gentle, sending waves of desire through your body. you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer for another kiss, this one deeper and more urgent. his tongue explored your mouth as his hands explored your body, memorizing every curve and dip.
the dress pooled at your feet, leaving you in just the white lace bra and panties you'd chosen that morning. jimin took a step back, his eyes roaming over you appreciatively.
"you're so fucking beautiful," he breathed, reaching out to trace the line of your collarbone, then down to the swell of your breasts. "every time i see you, it's like the first time all over again."
you felt your cheeks raise in temperature under his intense gaze, even after all these months. "you're not so bad yourself, park jimin."
he chuckled, a deep, throaty sound that never failed to make your stomach flutter. "just 'not so bad'?" he teased, his fingers hooking into the waistband of your panties. "i think i can do better than that."
with agonizing slowness, he lowered the lace, his eyes never leaving yours as he revealed you to the night air. you stepped out of the panties, kicking them aside as he knelt before you, pressing soft kisses to your hips, your stomach, the sensitive skin of your inner thighs.
"jimin," you breathed, your hands tangling in his hair as his mouth found its destination. his tongue flicked against your clit, sending jolts of pleasure through your body.
redoubling his efforts, his fingers joining in as he brought you closer and closer to the edge already. your knees trembled, and you had to grip his shoulders for support as the pleasure built to an almost unbearable intensity.
"come for me, baby," he murmured against you, the vibrations of his voice pushing you over the edge.
your orgasm came over you, leaving you breathless and trembling, your grip onto the balcony railing firmer than ever. jimin held you through it, his arms supporting you as you rode out the intensity of your orgasm.
when you could finally stand straight again, he rose to his feet, his lips crashing against yours in a passionate kiss. you could taste yourself on his tongue, a combination that made you want him all over again.
"inside," you managed to gasp between kisses. "now."
he didn't need to be told twice. scooping you up effortlessly, he carried you back into the apartment, kicking the door shut behind him. the cool air conditioning was a shock to your heated skin, but it was quickly forgotten as jimin laid you on the plush rug in front of the sofa.
he shed his clothes quickly, his body illuminated by the moonlight streaming through the windows. you watched him, appreciating the lean muscle, the smooth skin and the confident way he moved. this was your man, your lover, your partner in everything.
joining you on the floor, he covered your body with his, his weight a familiar comfort. his lips found yours again as he positioned himself in between you.
"look at me," he whispered, and you opened your eyes you hadn't realized you'd closed. "i want to see you when i'm inside you."
you held his gaze as he entered you, a slow, deliberate slide that had you both gasping. this was your favorite part; the initial joining, the moment when you became one, when nothing else in the world mattered but the connection between you.
he began to move, his hips finding a rhythm that was both familiar and exciting. with each thrust, he pushed deeper, filling you completely. your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer, deeper, as your hands roamed his back, feeling the muscles flex and contract with each movement.
"fuck, you feel so good," he breathed against your neck, his pace quickening. "so tight, so perfect for me.''
a guttural groan as escaped his lips as he increased his pace, driving into you with renewed urgency. the sounds of your sex filled the room; skin against skin, breathy moans, whispered words of love and desire.
you could feel another orgasm building, this one deeper and more intense than the first. jimin sensed it too, his thumb finding your clit and rubbing in tight circles as he continued to thrust into you.
"together," he commanded, his voice strained with his own impending release. "cum with me, baby."
your eyes locked as you both tumbled over the edge together, waves of pleasure washing over you in synchronized rhythm. his name was a prayer on your lips as you cried out, your body arching against his as he emptied himself inside you.
for moments afterward, you lay tangled together, your bodies slick with sweat, your hearts beating in sync. jimin peppered your face with soft kisses, his lips gentle against your skin. you could feel the energy still thrumming between you, a current that refused to be sated with just one release.
his lips curved into a smirk against your temple. "I'm not done with you yet." he murmured, his voice a low rumble that vibrated through your chest.
jimin moved, effortlessly flipping you onto your stomach. his hands gripped your hips, pulling you up onto your hands and knees. "stay right there," he commanded, his tone leaving no room for argument.
you heard him stand, the rustle of his movements a tantalizing promise of what was to come. when he returned, his hands were back on you, guiding you to your feet. "come here," he said, his voice thick with renewed desire.
he led you back towards the balcony, the cool night air a relief against your heated skin. the city lights twinkled below, a silent audience to what was going on floors above. jimin positioned you facing the railing, his hands on your hips as he bent you forward slightly.
"hold on," he murmured, his breath hot against your ear.
you gripped the cool metal of the railing, your knuckles white as you anticipated his next move. the height was dizzying, the drop significant enough to be dangerous but with jimin behind you, you felt completely safe.
he entered you in one smooth, deep stroke, and you both gasped at the sensation. from this angle, he felt impossibly deep, stretching you in the most delicious way. his hands gripped your hips, holding you steady as he began to move.
"fuck," he breathed, his pace quickening with each thrust. "you feel incredible like this."
you could only moan in response, your head falling forward as pleasure washed over you. each snap of his hips sent jolts of electricity through your body, building a tension deep within you that was both agonizing and exquisite.
"look at you," he growled, one hand moving from your hip to tangle in your hair, pulling your head back gently. "so beautiful, taking me so well."
the combination of his deep, relentless thrusts and his dirty praise sent you spiraling towards another orgasm. you could feel it building, a tidal wave of pleasure that threatened to consume you whole.
"jimin," you gasped, your knuckles turning white as you gripped the railing tighter. "i'm gonna…"
"cum for me, baby," he commanded, his voice strained with his own impending release. "let me feel you cum."
with a cry that was swallowed by the night wind, you tumbled over the edge, your body convulsing as waves of pleasure crashed over you. jimin followed moments later with a guttural groan, his release filling you as he buried himself deep inside you.
for several long moments, you remained joined, your bodies trembling with aftershocks as the night air cooled your sweat-slicked skin. finally, jimin pulled out gently, turning you around to face him.
his eyes were dark with satisfaction, a soft smile playing on his lips as he pulled you into his arms. "i love you," he murmured, his voice raw with emotion.
"i love you too," you replied, your voice barely a whisper as you leaned into his embrace.
comment/dm to be added to my taglist. I had one but I wasn't sure if those people wanted to be on every taglist or just for the series!
BTS Scenario - They Are More Physically Affectionate Towards Their Girl Best Friend Than You
Pairing: Boyfriend OT7 X Girlfriend Reader (individual storyline)
Theme: OT7 Scenario, angst.
Word count: 6.2k+
Summary:
In which they are more physically affectionate towards their girl best friend than you.
Warning: Angst, mentions of sex.
Minors Do Not Interact!
Masterlist | Patreon
A/N: A few things to know - 1. The relationships are new, 2. The reader leaves after getting hurt. 3. in some cases she does confront the boys before leaving, but in most cases she leaves quietly.
P.S: Ginger is a cat.
Sequel: They See Another Guy Being Touchy With You.
Kim Namjoon
If you were a poet, you would write sonnets about Kim Namjoon’s beauty.
The sharp cuts of his eyes, the arch of his lips, and that unfathomable depth of his dimple has set your heart on fire almost a year ago, and you are burning still.
Your hand does that weird little thing where you seek for his touch, even if just a brush of his fingertips, as you blindly pat down on his knees underneath the table.
The cacophony of the table is too much for your brain to process, too new to comprehend, too alien to relate and hence, you are looking for an anchor that can ground you, bind you to the jetty and let you from floating too far away.
You don’t find his hand, what you find is his knee instead, so you pat down on it. Namjoon was previously talking to his best friend, who is sitting on the other side. Now, upon receiving your sos signal, turns towards you and looks at you with confusion playing in his eyes.
He quirks and eyebrow as if asking ‘what’s wrong’, you only smile. There’s nothing wrong after all, you are just craving his touch.
Your hand reaches for his again, this time above the table and places itself on top of his. His eyes get bigger scandalously. As if you should have not done this, not before all these people you hardly even know. This is your turn to be confused. Why is he behaving like he is married and you are his mistress?
“What?” you mouth at him.
“All these people…” he gestures with his eyes. A smile cracks on your face at how shy he is getting. You can understand the source of his coyness. This is the first time he is introducing you to his friends and it is natural for both of you and him to be a bit awkward.
“But they know I am your girlfriend.” you shrug, reaching for his hand again, but just then he removes his limb from the place.
“Not now, okay? Later.” he gives you a tight-lipped smile. Something in you twists painfully, you push yourself out of the feeling before it can reflect on your face.
Nodding mostly to yourself you train your focus on the table again. Most of the people are talking among themselves. Namjoon, too, is having an all-consuming conversation with his best friend Sonyeon.
“But I really need to lose some fat. Look at my double chin, it looks like a frog’s vocal sac.” you hear her voice crystal clear. Leaning a bit on your chair, you find her giving your boyfriend puppy eyes.
Namjoon giggles, which is not very common, at least not with you. And then you see something that propels you to do a double take.
Namjoon brings both of his hands to cup her cheeks lovingly, “but you are so cute.” he says in a baby voice, shaking her face side to side and then squishing her cheeks to make her pout.
You freeze at spot. For a moment you wonder if it's the alcohol that’s making you see things, but no. The scene is a bit too vivid to be stemmed from your alcohol induced imagination.
Both of them break into a chuckle as Namjoon retrieves his hands from her face and places his right hand on top of her hair, patting on her head. “I hope you know you are beautiful just the way you are.” he affirms.
A dull pain sets on your chest. If this is how he treats his best friend then why not you? What is wrong with being touchy with you in public?
Wait. Now that you think back - Namjoon has not been very physically affectionate with you in this ten month old relationship. Apart from holding hands and occasionally wrapping his arm around your shoulder - he doesn’t really initiate touch. Making out and having sex are completely different aspects, so you are not going to count that in.
Not being able to watch the scene unfolding anymore, you look away. Even though stubborn tears try to spill out of your eyes, you try hard and blink them away.
—
“What is it? You have been quiet since mid-dinner” Namjoon’s voice tells of his curiosity. He really has no clue as it seems.
“Nothing.” your head is in a circus of questions and thoughts that you are overthinking about. You can not organize those no matter how hard you try.
“Hey… tell me what’s up?” his hand reaches for yours as he tries to comfort you through his touch. It throws you off.
Looking away from the window, you look down at his hand, which is resting on top of yours.
“Is it more comfortable for you now because there’s no one to see us?” you ask, eyeing the driver very briefly.
“What?” Namjoon asks, clearly having no clue.
“You didn’t feel comfortable holding my hand before your friends, but you… you were acting all lovey-dovey with Sonyeon. Is it me? Do I make you feel uncomfortable?” risking a glance at him, you find Namjoon looking at you with blown out pupils.
“Is this why you are so quiet?” he launches his next question. You only shrug in reply. His sigh rings right beside your ear. “Y/N” your boyfriend starts, “I have known her since university. And we just met a year ago.”
“And?” you really don’t get his point, “if time is the issue why are you dating me and not her?”
Namjoon groans, taking his hand away from you, “you are being childish now, Y/N.” he accuses you coldly.
“Am I? You have never cupped my face or patted my head like that. Am I really childish for asking for a bit of physical affection from my own boyfriend?” you can feel a migraine looming behind your eyes. You don’t like fighting, but it feels inevitable this time.
“We have a healthy sexual relationship-”
“It’s not about sex. You know that.”
“Then I really don’t get it. I really don’t!” he rakes a hand through his hair and scoots further away from you.
“Ajussi.” you call out to the driver, “can you please drop me off here?”
“What do you think you are doing?” Namjoon protests, but you don’t pay him any attention.
The driver, although hesitating, stops the car to let you out.
“Let’s take a break from each other. I need to sort out my thoughts.” These are your last words to Namjoon, as you get out of the car and start walking as fast as possible.
If you had a faint wish of him realizing something, it wanes when he doesn’t come running behind you.
Kim Seokjin
You stare at Seokjin’s side profile as he plays whatever game that he is playing.
Maybe you saved your country in your last life, that’s why you got to score someone as handsome and talented as Kim Seokjin. The relationship is very new, you are still learning about each other, but you are falling fast and hard.
Seokjin is sweet, kind, absolutely funny, nice and most importantly, respects your choices and you as a human being. Anyone who gets to know him, is bound to fall for him. You are about to lean on the couch and place a chaste kiss on his lips, just when-
“Seokjinnie, do you want some shrimp chips?” Danmi screams from the kitchen. Even her voice irritates you beyond imagination.
Now, you are not one of those evil girlfriends who controls every aspect of their partner’s life. Neither you have anything against his friends nor do you limit who Seokjin can meet, who he can’t. But this one person is exclusively annoying to you and you wish you could pluck her out of your boyfriend’s life for as long as you are with him.
“Yes please.” Seokjin screams back, he looks away from the screen very briefly to smile at her through the open space of the kitchen.
He never looks away from the screen when he is gaming, not even when you have something important to talk about. A frown makes its way to your forehead, but before you can start the conversation, Danmi walks into the living room and drops herself right beside Seokjin, almost on his lap.
You, sitting on the further side of the couch, don’t even get a speck of attention from any of them.
“Thank you!” Seokjin adjusts himself on the couch. You sigh out of relief, at least your boyfriend has some basic human decency left. However, you thought too early because right on the next moment, Seokjin is scooting a bit down on the couch to let her put her head on his shoulder.
You watch everything happening from the other side of the couch. You watch while wondering how can he be so comfortable with his girl best friend when he basically shoos you away whenever he is gaming?
Is this something they have been doing for the better part of their lives? When you were not his girlfriend? That must be it.
He looks so comfortable with the best friend’s head on his shoulder that it makes you a little jealous from within. You know your relationship is rather new and it will take him some time to be comfortable with you, but Seokjin is not shy during sex, and looking at him and his best friend now - he is not showing any sign of unease with casual touches either. Then why doesn't he cuddle the same way with you?
Why doesn’t he behave as softly as he does with her?
Crawling on the couch, you move closer to him, wrap a hand around his elbow and press your cheek on his bicep.
When he doesn’t react the same way he always does, you smile to yourself. Is he changing? Or is it because Danmi is here? Whatever it is, it seems to be fine with him.
You don’t even get to finish off your thought as Seokjin starts pulling his hand away from you.
“Ah! It’s tough to control the console if you restrict my dominant hand like this.” he groans. Having no other choice you sit straight and look at him. He looks down at you, “sorry baby, but can you please move a bit?” he adds with a smile.
You look at Danmi, seemingly asleep on Seokjin’s shoulder now, and then look back at him.
“Sure. I am moving away.” you reply, scooting away from him and then standing up.
You wait for him to resume gaming so that he is too engrossed to see what you are up to. Once he gets into the game again, you reach for your bag and start walking towards the door.
If he really finds it easier to play with his best friend clinging to him, but your affection is a hindrance - then you better go out of the picture.
It had only been six months after all. You are sure you can move on from him. No matter how much you started liking him within these few months, you can move on.
You definitely can.
Min Yoongi
No one is perfect.
Even the most intelligent ones lack in more ways than one. The most beautiful ones have their own flaws and hence, you never questioned Yoongi why he is so much against physical affection.
This is just the way he is. He would look for your hands to hold when you two are walking through a crowded street. But when you two are home and you are starting to get all cozy with him, he would freeze on his spot as if you are an iron bar left under the snow for far too long. For the first few months, it bothered you. You thought he is not into you as much as you are into him. But as you slowly started to decode his persona, you realized that this is just who he is. The acceptance has made it easier for you to think less and respect his boundaries more. So, it doesn’t matter if he touches you a little less than you want him to - as long as you can see the affection in his eyes, it is fine, you are fine.
The movie plays in the background, you are not paying even a speck of attention to it. All of your body is vibrating with want and need as your bicep is pressing against Yoongi. He is warm, he feels comfortable. The faint light from the television illuminates his profile, his glasses are sitting low on his nose, his lips look incredibly inviting.
Pressing your cheek on his upper arm, you tip your face upwards. Yoongi, feeling your eager eyes, looks down at you. You make sure to look at his eyes for a few seconds before dropping your eyes down to his lips.
Yoongi’s eyes follow suit. There’s a very faint smile on his lips as he starts leaning down. Just when his lips are about to meet yours the doorbell rings. Yoongi jerks out of the trance and turns his head to look at the door.
“I will be back.” he adds before leaving the couch and walking towards the dash cam. You watch as he presses the camera button and as his eyes enlarge, spotting the person who is standing on the other side of the door. He almost runs the short distance between the dash and the door and opens the door without wasting a single second.
You hoist your waist to take a look at the guest. You see her after her high pitched sob reaches your ears.
“Yoongi!” screams Sooha, Yoongi’s best friend, whom you have met only a handful of times before. And the next thing you see, she is jumping on Yoongi’s arms.
Your mouth opens when Yoongi not only accepts the hug but also holds her tighter than you have ever experienced with him. Although your vision is obscured from here, the way his hands are moving you can tell that he is rubbing circles on her back.
Okay. That's fine. She is sobbing for whatever reason, trying to soothe her is the only most humane thing to do. Maybe you should try to do that too.
Standing up from the couch, you start walking towards the door where your boyfriend and his best friend are standing. But before you can reach them, you see Yoongi pulling himself out of the embrace and placing both of his hands on her cheeks, wiping her tears away.
“Hey hey hey, calm down okay? Tell me what happened?” he mutters in the softest voice you have ever heard him using.
“G-Ginger…” Sooha hiccups, “G-ginger is no more.” she breaks into a loud sob. Yoongi pulls her in his embrace again, this time keeping one hand right on the back of her head and pats it lovingly.
Suddenly you are reminded of the night you came crying to him pretty much similarly. It was a tough day at work, you made a silly mistake and your manager scolded you before the entire department. And Yoongi only held your hands while you sobbed uncontrollably. Neither did he hug you, nor did he talk to you in that voice.
If he can do that to his best friend, why not you?
They start walking inside the apartment without bothering about your existence. You watch them, you watch your boyfriend being softer, more lovey-dovey with someone else with moisture gathering in your eyes.
“Yoongi?” you tap on his shoulder as he and his best friend settles on the couch, he looks up at you with a bewildered expression.
“Yeah?” His urgency is audible in his voice as the girl keeps sobbing in his arms.
“I will leave. I think you two need some privacy.” your voice weavers as you say the words. Yoongi only nods, going back to calm his best friend down. As he doesn’t even attempt to stop you from leaving, even when the night was meant to be saved for you - you realize your worth.
The relationship is new, you know you should not be too demanding right now. But action speaks louder than words. If you don’t really mean much to him, he shouldn’t mean much to you either.
As you walk out of the door you decide to give him only as much he gives to you. If you are less important than his best friend to you, then he can’t be topping your priorities either.
Jung Hoseok
Now if you tell people that you have only kissed twice and had a little bit of a foreplay only once in your three months of relationship, then they will only laugh at you. Given that you and your partner like to take things slow, you don’t mind.
Not at least for most of the time.
However, there are times like these when you watch him moving his body to the beat, in a way that demands everyone’s utmost attention. You watch him bending and flowing his body with the music, his shirt rides up and a silver of his skin catches your eyes for a moment.
It does something to you - something similar to the obsession that Victorian men would have felt upon catching a woman's ankle. And in times like these, taking things slow feels like a crime - a crime that would kill you slowly.
Maybe today you can take the first step? Maybe then Hoseok won’t hesitate? And maybe then you’ll get to touch him, hold him like the way you have been wanting for so long?
The music comes to an end, Hoseok straightens up and then bows. Everyone breaks into loud cheers and claps. You clap too.
He smiles, as bright as a sun and starts strolling towards the corridor. You start following him because he definitely doesn’t know that you are here.
You hold the studio door before it can close behind his back. Feeling the unusual force Hoseok looks back and another smile takes over his face. “Hey” he sing songs.
“Hi” you close the door behind you.
“I didn’t know you were here?” he pulls you into a loose hug, but it’s not enough. You want more of that body warmth.
“I was watching you dance.” you confess, he strolls towards the couch and falls on it.
“Really? Did you like my moves?” his voice gives out his exhaustion but he tries to be jolly regardless.
You drop down beside him, a little closer than usual.
“I loved your moves.” placing a chaste kiss on his lips, you wait for him to take it further. But he only smiles. God! Why is he being shy again?
Taking things in your own hand, you hoist yourself up on your hands and try to press your lips on him. But hoseok places his hands on both of your shoulders and pushes you away.
“I- uh- I am really tired right now, can we not… please?” he asks sheepishly. The rush of embarrassment is immediate.
“Oh.. I am sorry.” you pull yourself back on the couch, “Can I hug you at least?” pushing down the ill feeling, you open your arms wide. He wouldn't say no to a hug, right?
“I am kind of sweaty, and you know it’s really hot too?” he rejects you right away. And this time, it’s not embarrassment but a sharp pain that arrows through your heart.
“Do you feel uncomfortable with me?” you ask even before you know what you are doing. Hoseok looks away, stares at the floor.
“It’s been three months since we started seeing each other and we have only kissed. I want to take things further, Hoseok, but you don’t seem to be too interested.” The sting behind your eyes tells you of your fresh tears that might start rolling down your cheeks very soon.
He sighs, “I don’t- I am not ready yet. I don’t feel fully comfortable with you, Y/N. I am sorry. I would appreciate it if you don’t force anything on me.”
“Okay! Fine! I won’t even touch you anymore.” Anger comes before your tears can. You don’t want to cry before him so you rush out of the studio.
—
“I am sorry.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you:(“
The texts arrive on your phone sometimes around midnight. You have had some time to cool down and think things over. And now that you look at messages, you feel rather bad.
Not everyone is the same after all. Just because your exes didn’t take time to push you into the bed, does not mean Hoseok has to be the same.
He has actually been quite shy with you now that you think about it. He hardly ever initiates physical touch and maybe that's just who he is. Instead of rushing him into something he is not ready for yet, you should have respected his space.
Turning the phone off, you go back to bed. Maybe you should act like you are still angry and then show up at his classes again to surprise him after work?
Yeah! Right! That’s the best possible solution to apologize and make up. Closing your eyes with anticipation bubbling inside your chest, you fall asleep with a light of hope.
—
You are standing right on the spot where you were standing yesterday. However, today Hoseok is not dancing, he is reviewing the stage formation or blueprint or something of that sort on his ipad.
You are about to walk towards him and tap on his shoulder just when you hear a shrill, “Hobiiiiii”. It’s the voice of a woman and before you can look for her, you feel someone dash past you. She runs to Hoseok and jumps on his arms. Your boyfriend, instead of pushing her away the way he did to you yesterday. He wraps his hands around her waist and spins a full 360 degree.
Now as you finally see her face, you recognize her. She is Hoseok’s best friend, (who he talks a lot about), Iesul. This is the first time you are seeing her as she has been out on a world tour with her team for the past five months.
You knew these two had a special bond, but you didn’t know it was something more precious than you can ever have with Hoseok.
You watch as he puts her down and then presses a kiss on the top of her head.
Oh… so the problem was not who he is, but who you are. It’s only you with whom he can’t do all these for some reason.
Can the reason be that he doesn’t like you as much as he thought he did before starting to date you? Maybe…
The more you watch them being all lovey-dovey before everyone, the darker it gets within you. He is so engrossed in being affectionate and touchy with his best friend that he doesn’t even see you standing here, watching him with tears in your eyes.
Cool then. You will leave.
Turning your heels you walk out of the building fast.
Not everyone is the same, but a relationship is all about accommodating each other. You haven’t found Hoseok doing the same for you even when you are trying your best to accommodate him. so, you are concluding that he is not the one for you.
Taking your phone out of your pocket you open his text and start typing,
“Let’s break up. I will leave the shoes that you gifted me last month at the reception tomorrow. I haven’t even taken the tag yet, so they are as new as the day you gave them to me. I appreciate the time you spent with me. But maybe we are not for each other.”
“All the best for your life ahead, Hoseok.”
“Take care. Good bye.”
Pocketing your phone again, you start walking towards the bus stand. Glad it was over soon. Because if just three months hurt you like this, you have no idea what a longer relationship would do.
Park Jimin
Your hands start shaking as you watch the clip play on your phone.
A sudden shock of pain sprouts and slices through your heart. The clip goes on, sounds of giggle and laughter spills through the small speakers of your phone. You watch your boyfriend laughing behind his hand as his best friend, a woman, tries to braid his hair into multiple small braids. Her fingers falter, she curses and Jimin doubles over laughing. His head sprawls on her lap and the scene stabs your heart in a painful blow.
Now, you are not a toxic girlfriend who would have issues with her boyfriend’s best friend. But there’s a certain context behind the pain you are experiencing right now.
Two days, just two days ago, you found yourself being captivated by your boyfriend’s mystic blonde locks. And you, despite your respect towards his personal boundaries, ran a hand through his hair while he was laying beside you on the couch. His reaction was something you never even considered thinking of. He jerked out of his comfortable sitting position and stared at you with an expression that you never perceived before.
Being utterly shocked and confused you asked, “what happened?”
He looked at you for some time more, before sighing and opening his mouth to give you the most ridiculous reply, “I don’t like my hair to be touched. I thought you knew that?”
You didn’t. You really had no idea. “Sorry, I didn’t know.”
“Now you do, right? So please…” he smiled a little. And you nodded. He leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss on your cheek and you immediately forgot the impact.
However, now that you saw the story that he posted by himself without even hesitating about the fact that you would see the same, you realize that it’s you - it’s you who he doesn’t prefer to be touched by.
Inhaling a long strip of oxygen, you grab your car keys and dash out of the apartment. If Jimin thinks he can get away with this without offering a reasonable explanation then he is very wrong.
—
The door opens revealing Jimin on the same braids his best friends did on him. His eyes go wide as he spots you, but soon a smile replaces his surprise.
“Hey, I didn’t know you would be visiting me.” He tries to hug you, but you move away.
“I need to talk to you.” you see his best friend, Bitna, peeking at the door, “alone.”
Jimin’s expressions dim, “come in first.” he moves away from the door and lets you in. Once you are in, your eyes go to his best friend, who grabs her bag and walks towards Jimin.
“I will be leaving now, Jiminie, bye.” she hugs her, awfully tight, and he responds with just as much of urgency.
You wait at the same spot as Jimin walks her to the door to see her off. “What is it, Y/N? You look serious.” he walks towards you with lazy steps while mouthing the words.
“You told me you don’t like your hair to be touched.” With your heart thumping in your chest, you let him know, “and yet you posted that story of Bitna playing with your hair.”
Jimin stills, his mouth opens a little ajar as he tries to form a reply, “is that why you are here? To confront me?” a scoff leaves his mouth.
“Yes. That's why I am here. I am here to ask you if she can braid your hair, why did you push me away when I only touched it?” a tear escapes your eye and rolls down your cheek.
“Y/N!” Jimin almost screams, “she is my best friend! I have known her since we both were in diapers. We grew up pulling each other’s hair. Of course she is special.”
“Oh.. so she is special and I am just as ordinary as everyone else, huh? Is that what you are saying?” a few more drops of tears roll down your cheek.
“You are twisting my words-”
“You just said that and it's cool.” Wiping the wetness off of your face harshly, you continue, “if she is just that special to you, then go and be with her. You definitely don’t need me!” turning on your heels you run out of his apartment.
Even when you hear him calling behind your back, you choose not to stop.
Kim Taehyung
Having a social butterfly boyfriend means you get used to living with it.
It has only been five months since you and Taehyung made things official, and just within this short span of time, you have gotten accustomed to his huge popularity among his friends, acquaintances and even people you knew before him.
It never fails to amaze you, how easygoing he is, how easily likeable he is and still… still there’s this unfathomable distance that lies between you two, the unresolved tension that’s building a thick wall separating you from him.
The closer you try to get to him, the further he pushes you away. Each time you try to take things to the next level - he bursts into a ball of coyness.
For the first few times you were shocked yourself. You didn’t know how to accept the fact that social butterfly Kim Taehyung is actually this shy behind the closed doors. However, as the same events keep repeating over and over again, you become convinced of the fact that he is just not ready yet and he will open up when it’s time.
However, the inaccessible part of him has become the primary element that is building this great wall between you two.
Today is his birthday, and today, you have decided to talk to him after the party is over. You are aware that the timing might not be right, but he would be in a good mood and you can approach him without the fear of making an already bad day worse.
A cluster of giggles and loud cheers make their way to your ears as you approach the small lounge Taehyung has rented to celebrate his birthday. Pushing the door open you find him standing at the photozone. A few of his friends are clicking his pictures from every possible angle.
A smile spreads on your lips as you take your careful steps towards your boyfriend. He hasn’t seen you yet, so you decide to wave your hand in order to get his attention. But just when you are about to raise your limb, someone else screams for his attention.
“Taetae, take photos with me now!” It's Yuri, Taehyung’s best friend. They are, allegedly, inseparable. You have met her a few times and she has always been extremely kind and sweet towards you. However, the closeness she sports with your boyfriend bothers you a little.
Even now you see her as she runs towards Taehyung and he wraps a hand around her waist, pulling her on his chest. They giggle as others click them like they are the hot-shot celebrity couple people are talking about these days.
Taehyung’s eyes fall into yours briefly. He smiles and wiggles his fingers in a greeting before looking away and going back to his photo session with Yuri.
Wow… just a gesture? That’s all you get while he keeps posing with her? Letting her touch him in a way he doesn’t allow you yet?
Your heart starts to squeeze in an immense amount of pain as you very slowly realize the worth of your existence in his life. While a part of you understands that the relationship is too new to start demanding everything right away, another part of you berates you for being too blind.
Five months might be short to start thinking of becoming serious, but long enough to be comfortable with your partner. If you can give him that access to you, why can’t he?
Is it not because he just does not see you the way you see him?
Maybe… maybe that’s what the case is.
A drop of tear makes its way out of your eyes as you see him couching down on the floor and Yuri getting on his back. He poses with his best friend on his back and doesn’t even bother giving you another glance.
And that’s enough. That’s enough for you to make a decision.
Walking towards the nearest table, you put the gift on top of it and exit the lounge just as quietly as you entered.
You want to see if Taehyung notices your absence at all, and if he does then when. You leave it up to him now. His actions will determine the future of this relationship.
For you, it has ended the moment he chose his best friend over you.
Jeon Jungkook
Falling in love with Jungkook is as easy as slipping down a snowy road wearing slippers.
It didn’t take you much time to get swept away by that bunny smile and those starry eyes. And even before you knew it, your heart was beating twice as fast whenever Jungkook, so much so, looked your way.
Thankfully, Jungkook’s feelings were very mutual, which led you to start dating just after a month of knowing each other through some mutual friends. You have been together for half a year now - taking things at a natural pace while falling in love at the speed of light.
And the best thing about him? It’s his duality. He is a beast in bed but a shy little kid with big eyes when you two are just doing normal couple stuff. Currently you have your head laid on his shoulder as he pours the seasoning packet into the cup ramyeon. A sweet summer breeze blows, ruffling his hair a bit. Straightening up, you run a finger through his locks and being overwhelmed by this humongous attraction, you place your lips on his cheek in a kiss.
Jungkook startles. His eyes go big as he turns his head to look at you as if you have committed a scandalous act.
“What?” you giggle, totally enamoured by his cuteness.
“We are in public.” he replies, still sporting the same expressions.
“We are at han gang, Jungkook-ah. The people surrounding us are mostly couples.”
“Yeah but still. We are still very new and I am not yet very comfortable with PDA.” he goes back to stirring the ramyeon.
The drop in your mood is instant, but you know he is not totally wrong. A relationship can never be 50-50. One will be more emotional than the other, one will be giving more than the other and that is how it gets balanced. So, shoving the little hurt feeling under the rug, you smile at him, “But we will get there one day, right?”
“Of course.” Jungkook prompts without even sparing you a glance.
“Jungkookie! What are you doing here?” a female voice comes right from behind. You whip your head to look at the owner of the same and find an attractive woman with a familiar face.
“Byeol-ie!!” Jungkook places the cup ramyeon on the ground and jumps to stand up, “I thought you were coming back next week?”
Oh… this is Hanbyeol. Jungkook’s best friend whom you only saw in his social media posts. As you got to know from Jungkook, she was visiting her parents in the states for a few months. But now she is back and your boyfriend looks very happy with her return.
“Yeah I was about to, but things came up at work.” she replies, eyes drifting towards you, “this is Y/N, right? OMG, I have been waiting to meet you.” she smiles brightly at you.
“Hi.” You return the courtesy by giving her a genuine smile, “nice to meet you.” You look back at Jungkook only to find his eyes are trained at Hanbyeol.
“We are having ramyeon, do you want some?” he invites her without your permission.
“I should not eat carbs while running, but I am hungry, so lets just-” she sits down, Jungkook follows suit.
“Here, eat from mine.” he offers her his own bowl as you watch everything with your heart dropping to your stomach.
“Thanks jungkookie, I will give you a kissie in return.” Hanbyeol prompts while placing her lips on his cheek just like you did a few minutes before. But surprisingly enough, Jungkook does not flinch this time. He giggles, wraps a hand around her shoulder and pulls her closer to him.
Your breath hitches as you realize how different his reactions were based on the person who is doing that to him.
He pushed you away saying he doesn’t feel quite comfortable yet and on the other hand, he pulled his best friend even closer to him. And you don’t know how to process it, what to make out of it.
“I’ll get to the washroom quickly.” Standing up, you inform your boyfriend. But don’t get more than a casual nod as he is too busy catching up with his best friend.
As you slowly stroll towards the exit of the park, you realize certain things, certain people are better to let go because holding onto them only hurts more than it would in letting go.
🦢 secret blowjob (f,s) | by @swanlakebaby
⤷ There's something undeniably captivating about forbidden romance, and this fic delivered on that front. I would've loved a bit more context and development, but it was still a spicy, engaging read overall.
🦢 kiss it better (a,f,s) | by @joonjuul
⤷ This fic was such a comforting read despite the heavy themes. My heart absolutely broke for the reader, and seeing Jimin step in with so much gentleness and care made the emotional payoff incredibly satisfying. The contrast between the reader's toxic relationship and Jimin's patience, warmth, and genuine concern was handled really well.
🦢 feelin' myself (f,s) | by @hoseokhasmyheartxx
⤷ Braided-hair Jimin really was the star of the show here 😩. The chemistry between Jimin and the reader was so good from start to finish, and I loved how confident yet caring he was throughout.
🦢 undone (f,s) | by @a-nyx-7
⤷ HUSBAND JIMIN. I REPEAT. HUSBAND JIMIN.
🦢 warm hands (ice cold heart) (ft. jungkook) (a,f,s) | by @hobidreams
⤷ This fic had me emotionally devastated in the best way possible 😭. The arranged marriage trope was executed so well, and the tension between Jimin, the reader, and Jungkook had me completely invested from start to finish. The banter was fun, the emotions hit hard, and that ending left me with the worst case of second lead syndrome. Such a beautiful, bittersweet read.
🦢 la grande maison (a,f,s) | by @softyoongiionly
⤷ One of my all-time favorite fics and one I keep coming back to. The mystery had me hooked from the very first chapter, but what really made this story special was the friendship at its core. Every character felt so real, and the emotional moments hit incredibly hard. The twists, the tension, the heartbreak—I was completely invested the entire time. This fic genuinely put me through the wringer, and I'd happily let it ruin me all over again.
Summary: Everyone thought finding your soulmate meant the start of your happy ending, but when yours happens to be an idol in one of the biggest kpop groups in the world all the secrets and the lies get too much. So you make a choice to put yourself first and leave. Four years on, you pick a random holiday destination to enjoy some time for yourself and who should you happen to run into?
Rating: 18+ (mature) NSFW
Genre(s): soulmate au / idol au / non idol reader / exes to lovers / angst / fluff / smut
Warnings: Talk of heartbreak, relationship break down and mentions of depression related to this / loss of close friendship / oral sex (female receiving) - not detailed / P in V unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it) / creampie /
Word count: 6.5k
Beta: @lo1k-diamonds thank you so much for your always helpful suggestions
Banner and moodboard: by me
A/N: This is for @lapydiaries annual summer event 'An unexpected journey'
Taking your first mid-morning walk along the beach since you arrived here — toes sinking slightly into the warm sand and the cool breeze blowing gently through your hair — is the much needed break you'd been after. Something about the sun caressing your skin and the sea salt air makes you feel instantly rejuvenated.
Book in hand, you head to the coffee shop you'd seen when the taxi dropped you off at the apartment late last night. After a delayed flight and a stressful time at the airport locating your luggage, you wanted nothing more than to get into a comfortable bed and had definitely not felt like exploring. But after a good night's sleep, you were more than ready to begin this well deserved holiday.
The decked seating area on the beach looked like the perfect place to get lost in the pages of your novel, with a drink and a pastry. There were a few people already seated; two women chatting and giggling animatedly with each other, a couple holding hands as they looked at something on a phone and two men with their backs to you, sitting together looking out at the sea view.
Climbing up the wooden steps, you throw your flip flops down, wiping the sand off your feet before sliding them back into place and heading inside to make your order.
With the aroma of your coffee filling your senses and comforting you in its warm embrace, you relax into your seat, letting the gentle breeze dance around you. And just as you begin to fall deep into another world, you hear your name from behind you. Glancing over your shoulder, expecting to see an interaction with someone that is not aimed at you, but instead frozen in shock to find yourself looking into the eyes of someone very familiar. Your heart, feeling like it's been jump started, hammers away loudly in your ears as you stare into the large, doe eyes of Jeon Jungkook.
“Kookie?” you say quietly as you stand and place your book back down on your table.
His beaming grin has you mirroring him with your own; he always had that effect on you.
“I can’t believe it's you!” he says, pulling you into a hug, and as soon as you squeeze your arms around his neck, he lifts you off the floor and spins you around. When he returns you to your feet, you're giggling and pinching his cheeks, making him blush a little, but he doesn’t pull away, just stares at you in the same wide-eyed manner as he always used to.
Oh, fuck. Is he with him? The sudden thought has you frozen in place as your eyes dart around, landing on everyone you can see, searching for that familiar blonde hair amongst them.
“It’s ok,” Jungkook starts, “he’s not here.”
You release a breath you didn’t realise you were holding, and just that sentence is enough to have you relaxing again.
You take him in, broader than the last time you saw him, his muscular arms particularly noticeable in his tight t-shirt. No longer afraid to have his tattoo on show, you notice appreciatively.
“Come, sit, join me,” you say, taking your seat again and pointing to the empty chair beside yours, glad when he takes you up on the offer. “What are you doing here?” you ask, leaning forward eagerly, wanting to hear about everything you've missed.
“We’re shooting a music video for the lead single on our new album,” he says proudly, the wood of his seat creaking as he leans back.
“I have heard about the highly anticipated new album.” You grin as you bring your coffee cup up to your lips to take a sip.
Raising an eyebrow at you, he tries to rein in his smile but fails miserably. “So, you've been keeping tabs on us, then?”
This makes you chuckle, what did he expect? “Of course. I loved your album too, I listen to it all the time.”
His eyes widen and mouth forms into a small ‘o’, and it makes you giggle. “You listened to Golden? What's your favourite song?”
Why did this feel like a test? No matter, you would pass with flying colours. “Easy, either ‘standing next to you’ or ‘Yes or no’.”
He smirks playfully. “Ok, well, don't I feel special.”
Shaking your head at him, a thought suddenly had a rock settling in the pit of your stomach. “If you're here for the new album, that means Jimin is here too?”
He grimaces awkwardly, and a seriousness falls over his face as he studies you. “Yes, but he’s back at our hotel, training. You won’t see him here, don’t worry,” he insists, putting his hands up in surrender, attempting to ease your concern.
You fly halfway across the world, picking somewhere completely random and yet you end up in the same city as the person you’ve been avoiding for the last four years. If you were honest, are you even surprised at this point? Soulmates are drawn to each other, after all.
“How long are you here for?” he asks, fiddling with your napkin, the habit of fidgeting clearly still very prominent. Not that you've ever minded it.
“Ten days, you?”
He smiles at you hesitantly. “Just a week.”
A week. A week of looking over your shoulder and searching for his face in every person you pass. “Great,” you mumble to yourself, but when you look up and see Jungkook's sad expression, you know he caught it, and it's as if someone punched you in the gut. Guilt consumes you and a large knot forms in your stomach. “I'm sorry, Kookie, I really am happy to see you.”
Placing your hand on top of his, he grabs it and squeezes your fingers, giving you a false smile. “There was a time when we were friends,” he starts, avoiding your eyes and staring at the napkin he's ripped up into small pieces. “Do you remember how close we were?”
You nod, your lower lip trembling with the thoughts of everything you miss. “I'm sorry, I should have stayed in contact with you. I wanted to - I just…” your voice trails off, not even sure what to say at this point. Four years is a long time, how can you justify that?
“Hey, it's ok,” he strokes the back of your hand with his thumb, “I understand, I do. I know how hard it was for you to walk away. I just…I miss you.”
His words slice into you like a fast knife, so quick you barely saw it coming, and without warning, a tear escapes and trails slowly down your cheek. He sits up, sliding his chair closer to you and wipes it away with the back of his hand. “I'm sorry, please don't cry, I'm not trying to upset you,” he panics.
“I know.” Squeezing his hand tighter, you admit, “I miss you, too.”
“Jungkook,” the security member with him steps in apologetically, “we should be getting back, you'll be late for the schedule.”
He nods before turning back to you and rolling his eyes. “The dreaded schedule.” He lets out a lengthy sigh and stretches his neck, making it click. “Meet me back here tomorrow morning? I'll have more time, and we can have a proper catch up?”
Thinking it over, you know the answer before you've had a chance to weigh up the pros and cons. You can't say no to him when he's looking at you so happy and hopeful. “Sure. That would be nice.”
When he stands, you join him, and he quickly pulls you into an embrace. “I'll be here at eight,” he says quietly, holding onto you for a moment longer.
You nod into his shoulder. “I'll be here.”
He pulls back, smiling at you and pressing his lips briefly to your forehead. “It's so good to see you.”
You cannot describe the overwhelming, safe, familiar feeling he brings you.
From the moment you and Jimin had started dating, and you met Jungkook, you had instantly clicked in a different way than with the other BTS members. You and Jungkook were as close as siblings; you teased him like a younger brother, and he looked up to you like an older sister, always confiding in each other and being that shoulder to cry on in your toughest times.
The night you'd had enough and made the impossible decision to leave Jimin, Jungkook was the one who ran to your side and cradled you in silence while you cried.
He stayed at your house for weeks, cooking to make sure you were eating, forcing you to get up and do things when you were catatonic. But the two of you remaining so close made it impossible to…there isn't a word for it. Move on? How can someone move on from their soulmate? They can't.
When you find them, everything clicks into place, you become bound to one another, your souls intertwined forever. When you were with Jimin, you could breathe, you felt whole, you were happy…until you weren't.
Being the soulmate of an idol comes with its own cost, one you were more than willing to pay, for a while anyway. But after three years living your life with him, you had left.
If someone had taken a knife and stabbed you in the heart, it would have been less painful than what you felt, and so many times you ended up back at his door. Each night, comforting each other in the darkness, lips on his, body to body, searching for answers you were never going to find. And each time you left, it was torture.
Jungkook had stayed because he was worried. He went between you and Jimin, consoling both any chance he got, until you realised how unfair it was for him to be stuck in the middle. He was exhausted, dark circles permanently under his eyes, no time for anything other than the two of you. He neglected his training, his work, himself. Once you realised that, it was a huge wake up call.
You found an apartment in another country and left. You said your goodbyes to Jungkook, a final nail in the coffin and didn't look back, knowing him and Jimin would be better off without your presence hindering their lives. You plunged head first into your new city, new career, and new life for yourself. An incomplete one but a life nonetheless.
To find yourself back in Jungkook's presence has reminded you, not only of everything you miss but of everything you left behind. And you were not ready to go anywhere near that world. But being around Jungkook felt safe, comforting and loving. Things you have not felt since you left four years ago. You could enjoy it for one day, right?
“I have to go. Sorry.” He gives you a beaming grin and heads off down the wooden steps and onto the beach.
“Kookie?” you call out as quietly as you can as you follow him to the steps.
He pauses and turns to you.
“Please don't tell Jimin I'm here.”
His face falls, and he looks off, a worried expression furrowing his brow. “I can't lie to him.”
You sigh, hating the position you're putting him in, but you have no other choice. “It's not lying, you're just not mentioning it.”
He gives you a curt nod, turns and jogs off along the beach with his security, leaving you with a rock in the pit of your stomach, having a feeling you won't be able to avoid seeing Jimin the whole week.
*
After a lovely meal in a restaurant on the seafront overlooking the ocean at sunset, you went back to your bed a little tipsy, enjoying your dinner with more than a couple glasses of wine. With your eyes heavy and begging for sleep, it wasn't long before you were pulled under its blanket and dreamt of Jimin. This was a regular occurrence, but the time between dreams of him has been growing longer recently, much to your relief and simultaneous disappointment.
When your eyes snap open to the bright morning light streaming through the thin curtains, a familiar ache in your chest makes you curl up into a ball and hug your knees.
Seeing his face behind your eyes every time you close them, and the feeling of his lips against yours felt so real, you could almost taste him. Licking your lips, you attempt to savour the moment before the fog of sleep completely dissipates, leaving nothing but the harsh reality of life without him.
Glancing at the time on your phone, you have an hour before you meet Jungkook. Maybe a morning swim in the ocean would start your day off nicely.
Throwing off the covers, you head into the bathroom to brush your teeth, shower and change into your swimming costume. Then, grabbing your towel, you rush off outside, trying to leave all thoughts of Jimin behind and back in that bed.
The whole stretch of sand as far as your eye can see is pretty empty, only a handful of people are already out. Finding a spot to leave your towel and belongings is easy on the vacant beach, then you race off into the water. As the tide laps over your feet, you give yourself a moment to adjust to the temperature; not freezing but not warm yet either, before heading further in. By the time the water’s up to your waist, it almost takes your breath away, but the bright sun, already fairly high in the sky, warms your skin. Diving in, you swim through the gentle current. There's something different about being in the ocean, something that makes you feel at peace. When you start to get really tired and out of breath, you turn on your back and float, staring up at the sky and searching for shapes in the clouds.
“Care for company?” You recognise Jungkook's voice instantly and sit up to tread water as he glides towards you.
“You're early,” you reply with a grin.
He smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. “Are you still as good a swimmer as I remember?”
“No,” you say, shaking your head, “I'm better.”
He arches a brow at the challenge. “Alright, first one to touch that buoy wins.” He points to the bright orange marker ahead.
Grinning widely, you agree, “You're on. Three, two, one, go,” you countdown quickly, hoping for a headstart, but he's on your tail in an instant. You remain in the lead up until a metre from the finish, and he swoops past you. But determination takes over, and you find yourself grabbing his shoulders and clambering onto his back. He shouts out to you and tries to knock you off, but this only makes you cling on tighter as you burst out laughing. He chuckles as his head sinks below the surface until he finds his bearings and powers through the water with you on his back, leaning forward, legs tight around his waist. Just as he's a foot away from the buoy, you lunge forward at it, touching it a couple of seconds before he does.
You erupt into cheers, watching the grin on his face broaden further.
“You cheated, that doesn't count,” he argues, splashing you in the face with water, making you gasp.
“I beg to differ, all you said was ‘first one to touch the buoy’. There were no specifications or rules, therefore - technically, it was not cheating.”
He rolls his eyes, a silent admission of his defeat, but before you can say anything else, he lunges towards you, grabbing you around the waist, lifting you and throwing you back into the water.
After a few minutes of playing around in the water, you both begin to head back to the shore.
“I came here early hoping to catch you,” he says, still trying to catch his breath as you wade through the water together. “I can't join you for coffee anymore, sorry.” He winces.
Nudging his shoulder, you say, “Hey, that's ok, I know your schedule must be crazy. Playing around in the sea will have to suffice.”
He looks down at his feet as you walk slowly out of the water, his whole demeanor no longer relaxed and carefree like he was in the ocean. His shoulders are tense, and he won't meet your eyes. Your stomach sinks, a thought lurking deep in your mind that churns away inside. “What is it, Kookie?” you demand.
He sighs. “I wasn't going to say anything, I promise,” he starts rambling, “but they all knew something was going on. They thought I'd met my soulmate, so I had to tell them. I'm so sorry.”
And just like that, the niggling thought that had been troubling you since you saw Jungkook yesterday became a reality.
“And, well, Jimin really wants to see you.”
“No,” you say, staring at him flatly. “I can't.”
He grimaces then and looks up guiltily towards the beach. Following his gaze to where you left your belongings, the world around you seems to stand still as your eyes connect with Jimin, and my god, did he look even more beautiful than you remembered, your dreams had not done him justice. His shoulder-length blonde locks, much longer than when you last saw him, move in the gentle morning breeze and suit him in a way you couldn’t have imagined. His plump full lips pull up into a smile so devastating, your knees wobble slightly as you remember the way they felt against yours in the dream you had last night. But you can’t return it. You’re already in panic mode, fight or flight. Your legs are powering you forward against your will, feet slapping against the surf and sinking into the wet sand with each step. Your heart, pounding so hard it hurts, desperate to be reunited with its other half, but you can’t do it. You can’t go through it all again.
Jungkook tries grabbing your hand, but you pull away, even after he calls your name. You can’t stop, your feet charging forward with a purpose: to get you the hell out of here.
You glance at Jimin. His smile has vanished, replaced with a worrisome brow, even his security is watching you, full of concern. When you're a couple of metres away, Jimin says your name, and it makes you pause for just a moment. It's long enough for Jungkook to swoop in front of you, hands on both your arms, and his big, dark eyes searching yours.
“I'm sorry,” he says quietly, “but I couldn't keep this from him.” He pulls you against his chest and holds you so tight you almost feel like you're not falling apart.
“I care about both of you, and I know how much you are hurting,” he whispers. “I've seen how much he's hurting, every day, and how much he misses you. Please, just hear him out.”
Closing your eyes for a moment, you think about the love of your life standing only steps away from you. You think about when you left; you didn't even say a proper goodbye, you simply said everything in the form of a letter and were gone, shutting him out completely because you couldn't deal with more than that. Maybe you owe him that much, the chance to say goodbye, the chance for closure, even though it's impossible. But then you also think about Jungkook, how he's stuck in between you both, and after everything he's done for you, you would do anything for him.
And so you nod. “Fine,” you mumble against his chest, and he releases you, looking so relieved that he looks like he might cry.
“Thank you,” he says, kissing your forehead and waving Jimin over.
Taking a deep breath to try and calm your frantic heart, you watch as he hesitantly closes the distance between you. A shy smile on his face, reminding you of that boy you first met years ago, insecure and unsure of himself but so sweet and endearing all at once.
“You can walk me back to my apartment, which is just there.” You point a little way down the beach. “That's it, nothing else,” you insist.
He nods and puts his hands up in surrender. “I hear you, I just want to talk, that's all, then I'll leave you alone.”
You know you can trust him, but can you trust yourself? Are you strong enough to hold onto your decision? You didn't feel it at this moment, not with his sweet face staring back at you so full of love. But you push that aside and throw on a shirt over your bikini before grabbing the rest of your stuff you left on the sand.
“Do you want me to stay?” Jungkook asks, eyes flitting between you both.
You look to Jimin, who gives you an encouraging smile. “If it makes you feel better, I'm fine with it.”
You and Jimin alone — the thought terrified you, but you need to strap your big girl boots on and face this. Besides, you've put Jungkook through enough.
“No, it's ok. I'll see you later, maybe?”
He nods. “I'll call you.” He gives you a grin before running off down the beach with his security, and suddenly the atmosphere changes. The air around you becomes thick and heavy, and you're sure the sun has disappeared behind the clouds, leaving a grey cast across the beach that doesn't match the warmth in the air.
Jimin walks over to his security, looking on a stone’s throw away, and has a quiet word with him, sending him away before returning to you. “Shall we?”
Nodding, you lead the way back along the sand towards your apartment. The silence is so tense it's almost choking, and in a panic, the words are out before you've fully thought about them, “What is it you want, Jimin?”
He smiles sadly, staring down at his feet. “I came to find you, you know, after you left. Four times.”
His admission stuns you and makes your feet pause.
“What? When?”
He sighs, “Every year, around the anniversary of the day we met, I'd fly to the States.” He shoves his hands in his pockets, suddenly sheepish. “I contacted someone to track you down – sorry, now I'm hearing it out loud, I realise how stalkerish that sounds.”
You let out an amused breath through your nose, unable to do more than that while still reeling at this information.
“So, if you knew where I was this whole time, why didn't you…” Your thought trails off, trying to make sense of it.
He shrugs. “I was…scared. You had already left once. And I understand why, I really do, I never blamed you for that. But the thought of knowing it was really over, of not being able to hope that you'd come back, felt too much.”
“So, every year you came to find me and then what? You'd go home?”
His cheeks flush a pretty shade of pink, that makes your heart beat a little bit faster, and he gently moves the sand with his sandal. “Every year I came, it was with the intention to beg you to come home. I'd build myself up, so sure I could do it. I'd wait until I saw you; walking home from work, going to a coffee shop, taking a walk along the river. But as soon as I'd see you, more beautiful than ever, so light and free with this new life you created, I couldn't bear to come in and ruin it. I'd imagine you going home to someone who treats you good, someone who'll move heaven and earth just to see you smile. I'd think about your job, and how you dreamed of that long before we met and worked so hard to get it. I couldn't come in and ask you to stop your whole life just for me.”
You frown, confused and irritated. “Let me get this straight. You came all that way and ran off like a scared little boy?”
He flinches at that, looking uncomfortable, eyebrows turned up in confusion as this conversation clearly isn't going the way he thought it would.
“Instead of actually doing better and offering me a proper relationship, you just left again?” Your eyes search his desperately, looking for answers, but all he looks back at you with is anguish and helplessness. “You are so full of excuses, Jimin. You always have been.”
With that, you turn and begin walking again, but he grabs your hand. “No, wait, please.”
You stop, with your back to him and your eyes focused on your apartment, and give him a minute to continue, hoping and wishing he can get this right.
You want to come home to him, you always have. You want him to be there when you get home, but you deserve to be treated right, not tossed aside as if you don't matter.
“Please, it's different this time,” he pleads, and you let out a bitter laugh.
“I’ve lost count of how many times you've said that. It's never different, Jimin,” you sigh, pulling your hand out of his and stepping away, needing to put some distance between you as you can feel yourself being pulled back in. Just being in his presence is hard enough, but looking into his pleading eyes is almost too much to stay strong.
“Baby, please, I mean it this time.” He reaches out to you again, capturing your wrist and gently pulling it back towards him. “I can't live without you anymore.”
With his words, a dark cloud rolls across the sky, hiding the sun and covering the two of you in a grey cast. Your eyes dart to the water; suddenly, the waves are choppy, and the surf creeps faster up the sand than when you were just in it. The few people who had been on the beach were quickly vacating, giving you an uneasy feeling inside. The sand dances along the beach, making elegant patterns as it moves in the brisk breeze that's whipping your hair around your face.
A rumble in the distance draws both your attention upward, staring up at the gloomy sky, before he returns his focus back to you, stepping forward and leaving only a hair’s width of space between you.
“I will do whatever it takes to have you in my life,” he says, the words so intense you almost believe every single one. But you've been here before, and you know better. “I'm sorry,” he continues, taking your hands in his, and this time you don't pull away.
As you stare back into his desperate, pleading eyes, you feel your resolve start to falter. Something about the way he's staring at you and the need you see there that makes that wall you've built start to crumble.
“I'm sorry for all the times you felt like you weren't good enough.” He continues, “I'm sorry for not listening to your needs. I'm sorry for all those nights you waited up for me, and I didn't show. I'm sorry for hiding you and lying about you to everyone who asked, even other idols, when I knew how it hurt you. I'm sorry for not appreciating you enough because I expected you to always be there. I'm sorry for letting you walk out in the first place, I should have fought harder. But I have changed and I will continue to change, to be better, not just for you but myself.” He pauses to take a breath, eyes brimming with tears that yours surely mirror. “And I know that I don’t deserve another chance of you loving me, but I'm begging you,” he lands on his knees in the sand with a thud, “please, give me one last chance to prove things will be different and that I can be the man that you deserve.”
As he looks up at you, a tear finally breaks free from the dam and runs slowly down his cheek and as it does, a drop of rain lands on your head, then another and another. Suddenly, the drops are pelting down from the sky so hard around you, the landscape is but a hazy blur.
Collapsing to your knees, you can't help but reach out and wipe that tear away with your thumb. And as you do, he leans into your touch, closing his eyes and savouring the moment. The touch of his skin has your fingers tingling, a current running from him through to you, an invisible rope pulling you in again, just as his arms snake around your waist to keep you there. You can't deny how good it feels to be here, in his embrace, feeling all worries and concerns melt away into the background. Deciding to listen to your heart, pounding so loud it's practically screaming at you, instead of your head, full of questions you can't answer yet.
Water pours down your faces, but you don't care, all that matters at this moment is you and him. A flash of bright light across the dark sky is the green light you both need as he captures your lips in a fiery kiss so heated that even the devils at the gates of hell would be jealous. Thunder rumbles loudly around you, but all you can focus on is the way his hands feel against your back, holding you firmly against his hard body, and the way his lips feel exploring yours. You let yourself fall back into your bubble of love with him, even if it's only for tonight. Slowly, your guard comes down, and you find yourself exploring his mouth more fervently as if he could disappear at any moment, just like he did in your dream last night.
The taste of his lips is better than your memory has kept all these years, and when his tongue slides across yours, it lights a fire in you more powerful than a thousand suns. You're breaking the kiss and getting to your feet in an instant, pulling him up and leading him quickly to your apartment.
Shutting the door behind you, quelling some of the storm outside, you stare at each other fixed in place. The air around you is so charged you can practically hear the buzz of electricity between you, you can feel it pulling you closer, drawing you in. He moves towards you, every slow step deliberate and giving you an out, but you don't want it. You need him.
Both of you dripping, clothes see through and clinging to skin, now feeling too tight and uncomfortable. He fingers the buttons of your shirt before he peels it away from your skin and lets it drop with a slap on the wooden floor.
You follow his movements as he circles around behind you. When you feel him pull on the ties at the back of your bikini, your already pounding heart picks up pace. His fingers trace lightly across the skin of your back, sending a ripple of goosebumps down your spine, as he returns to you. He stares at you with a want so powerful you can feel it, a heat radiating from him that teases your skin. He pulls at your bikini top stuck to your breasts, and it joins your shirt on the floor. Your nipples harden instantly as the cool air hits your wet skin.
His fingers go to your hips, at the ties on your bikini bottoms. You're growing impatient to have him touch you, really touch you, to make you feel the way he used to, but at the same time, you can't take your eyes off him. He pulls at the strings on both sides and then tugs them down before taking a step back and marvelling at your naked body with an anguished brow, teeth finding anchorage in his plump bottom lip.
“God, I missed you, baby,” he sighs, closing the space between you both and pulling you against him. He kisses you, softly this time, savouring the moment.
His hands roam your body, tracing every curve and making you shiver with desire. You mould against him perfectly, but the layer of fabric between your flesh frustrates you.
Your fingers race to his buttons with none of the patience he displayed, but with your hands trembling, the task feels impossible. You growl to yourself and opt for ripping the shirt off him instead. The buttons splat out all over the room, clicking against anything they hit.
He pulls back, surprised. “This shirt cost me a lot of money, but that is so fucking hot.” His mouth captures yours again as he fumbles with his shorts, and you try to help as he pushes you towards the bed. A mess of hands and fabric, the desperation between you both so intense, you feel like you can't breathe.
As your back hits the cushioned mattress, he falls with you, his weight above you and his naked flesh against yours, taking you back to a time when you would get lost with him for hours, exploring every part of each other. Surprising how, in one moment, you can be back there again.
You feel his erection at your entryway, begging to be let in. Wrapping your legs around his waist, you use your feet to coax him inside you. You're so needy for him, he has no problem sliding inside. As he begins to move, each thrust sending a lightning bolt of pleasure straight to you that makes your heart swell each time, his lips move along your jaw, teeth grazing your earlobe. “Say you'll stay with me.”
Your moans echo in the quiet room, much louder than the rain beating against your windows.
“Please, baby, say it,” he groans against your throat.
You can't think, let alone speak. All you want is him, every day, for the rest of your life. You can't possibly live without him now.
He picks up his pace, hips angling at just that perfect way you like, reaching just the right spot that makes your toes curl.
“Say you're mine, please,” he breathes.
As your insides pull tight, your breath ragged and heart racing, you call out his name as you unravel around him and tell him what he's so desperate to hear. ‘I’m yours, Jimin, I'll stay.”
With that, he releases himself inside you as he peppers eager kisses down your neck, and as his movements slow, he collapses on top of you, holding you tightly. He slides out of you, settling between your breasts.
“I'll talk to the company about releasing a statement,” he says gently, but in your blissed out haze, you can't make sense of his words.
“What are you talking about?” you say as you stroke his hair.
He lifts his head up to look at you. “A statement announcing I've found my soulmate.”
Your recovering heart suddenly slams back into overdrive, pounding so hard, you know he can feel it as he leans his chin on your chest. “Jimin, you can't be serious.”
He smirks at you with a one sided smile that has your core clenching around nothing. “Let me show you how serious I am.” He replies as he begins a trail of kisses across your breasts and down your stomach.
After hours of endless leg shaking ecstasy, desperate pleas and calling out names, you fall curled up against him, leaving the worries of decisions as a problem for later.
*
Waking from the deepest sleep you've had in a while to orange sunlight streaming in through the window, flashes from this morning play behind your sleepy eyelids. Your lips swollen from kissing, your muscles aching and your core sore but in the best way possible, you reach out to the other side of the bed to pull Jimin close, but your searching fingertips find nothing.
Your eyes snap open and look frantically around your apartment, could he have left already? Did he mean anything he said?
Your stomach twists anxiously at the idea of having to start life again without him, but in the midst of your spiralling thoughts, you hear a murmur of a voice in the distance. Your eyes are drawn to the double doors overlooking the beach, left ajar. Through the thin white curtains, you can see a figure standing on the porch.
Climbing out of bed and covering your naked body with your long white shirt, you wrap it around yourself and step outside. This morning's thunderstorm is a distant memory, the sand is dry and the sun hot and setting below the horizon, and the calm sea lazily laps at the shore.
Jimin stands on the porch staring at the ocean, phone at his ear, leaning on the wooden railing, his open shirt billowing in the breeze, looking picture perfect.
“Yes, ok, thanks,” he says before hanging up. Your arms wrap around his waist, pressing your cheek to his back, and he instantly holds your hands tight to keep you there.
“Good evening, beautiful,” he says gently.
“Hi,” you reply, smiling against him. He turns in your grasp, giving you the opportunity to hook your fingers behind his neck and him an excuse to grab your rear.
“I thought you'd left,” you admit, feeling a warmth tint your cheeks.
He looks pained for a minute before hooking your chin up to meet his eyes. “Without saying goodbye?”
You smile sheepishly, a sadness beginning to creep in at the thought of him leaving. Any moment yet, he'll announce he needs to go or he has a schedule, some parting excuse.
“I take it you haven't checked your phone yet,” he says, with a mischievous glint in his eyes.
This makes you frown, what on earth could he mean?
“No,” you reply, bewildered.
“Maybe you should,” he says, fighting a smirk.
Breaking the embrace, you head back into the bedroom, looking in the obvious places for it, and quite quickly, you become frantic. Where the hell is your phone?
Suddenly, you spot it on the floor, sticking out from under the bed, and make a dive for it. Unlocking it, you see a usual amount of notifications, but it was the news headline that sat at the top that had your entire focus:
“Global BTS superstar Park Jimin finds soulmate.”
Your heart swells like a balloon in your chest, fit to pop as you click on the story and read.
“He's officially off the market, army!”
The tagline makes you laugh as you skim through the words. You aren't mentioned by name, but you aren't a secret anymore.
“We've not been told what that means for Jimin specifically, but in the statement released by Hybe earlier today, they assure army all members of BTS will remain together and continue preparations for the upcoming album release and world tour.”
Jimin's hands find your hips and turn you to face him. He takes the phone gently from your grasp and throws it on the bed. “I love you,” he whispers, touching his forehead to yours. And for the first time in a long time, you feel completely at peace. Everything feels how it should be, and you can't wait to start your life with him, however that might look.
