#bucky fictive

[kingbuckybuchanan]

Z-O-M-B-I-E-S userboxes!!!

Me:

[vintrsoldat]

There is a marathon in my city so everyone looks so productive meanwhile I only left my house to go drink by the shore

[vintrsoldat]

Earlier this year I fucked up my wrist bad. The accident itself was a blur, though looking back, I'm not particularly shocked that my mind immediately went to dissociating when I was practically sitting in the snow with an arm I could barely move.

I remember how awful I felt it mentally afterwards. I couldn't move it for the life of me, the cast was far enough down that I couldn't even use my hand at all. I was relying purely on my right arm for weeks. And it was heavy, and bulky. It felt so out of places, like the added weight alone was enough to make it not even feel like my own limb.

And it feels so pathetic that even now I'm struggling with the aftermath. The fact I can feel my arm in mild discomfort, the knowledge of how fragile it is, how even now I can't or shouldn't move it the same way, or how tense it is all the time. Despite healing it sometimes still dosen’t feel like my own, or if it does, the discomfort alone bother me way more than I wanna admit. My whole arm feels so off, and weird, and wrong. And I hate it so much

[jackedupsystem]

Reading fanfiction as a fictive is interesting. Sometimes it feels like reading any other biography; other times it feels like like laying on the floor as children, fantasizing about what could be.

Often times it feels like someone came up to you and told you the least plausible gossip about you and your friends.

WRITING ON THE OTHER HAND is either just getting your memories on paper OR shit you wish had happened. In the process of the latter.

[whitewolfoclock]

A Poem I wrote to help cope with memories

Reborn.

||I was reborn,

Resurrection doesn’t do it justice

Reborn doesn’t either,

What happened to me wasn’t because I was granted Elysium,

It happened to a man who’s heart was already cursed||

||They say the Devil was the most Beautiful angel of all,

The Devil that struck fear into every devoted follower of the lord,

The Devil couldn’t reach The Man at first,

So he remade The Man into his Disciple,||

||The Devil had many different faces,

To The Man it was a dictator full of hate and corruption, something The Man condemned and fought,

To The Disciple nobody wore it, as The Disciple had no choice to grasp anything other than the labor forced upon him,

To The Reincarnation he wears a face weathered from age and soul simmering of poison, just as The Man saw the dictator,

The discipline wore the mask of the Devil to do his bidding without knowing the concept of faith,||

||The Man knew who he was

The Disciple had no concept of identity,

The Reincarnation struggles with identity,

Does that keep him tethered to what the Devil molded him to be,||

||How many times can a soul be reborn in a lifetime,

The Man, The Disciple, The Reincarnation,

All one being with different conscience,

Different outlook,||

Will I be Reborn again?

————-

I’m not a poet, but I wanted to share it.

-Bucky