#buff keith

[khaoskrakenart]

Drawing practice with galra keith? Yes!

[autisticlancemcclain]

Lance has a very embarrassing secret.

See, everyone thinks that if Lance went back in time and told his preteen self that he is completely and irrevocably in love with one Keith Kogane, Preteen Lance would be horrified. The truth is that Lance has had a big, fat, humiliating crush on Keith since they accidentally bumped into each other during the new student orientation day at the Garrison when they were eleven years old.

Lance has been gone on Keith’s ass for nine goddamned years. Seriously.

The whole thing is just humiliating. Not even Hunk knows. The only person who knows is Keith himself, and he knows because he is unfortunately very charming and Lance is very bad and keeping secrets from pretty people. (Also, somehow Keith suspected the horrible secret even though Lance is very subtle, and one day decided he was going to make Lance admit it and kissed it out of him. Lance is a little annoyed he caved so easily, but he would honestly challenge anyone to be pressed against a door and kissed so hard it’s almost bruising by Keith ‘Walking Sex Machine’ Kogane and not spill every single one of your life secrets. Keith is a very convincing individual, who is well aware of his pretty privilege and his no qualms against using it.)

“I love you and all your embarassing secrets,” Keith promises. Lance scowls, burrowing further into Keith’s chest and hiking their fluffy space blanket above his head.

“Shuddup.”

Keith’s chest shakes as he chuckles, and Lance pretends the sound doesn’t make him smile. It’s useless, because Keith knows him better than anyone, but whatever. He feels a pressure on his head as Keith presses a kiss there through the blanket, then wraps both arms — big, strong arms, that Lance admittedly gets distracted by often — around him and rolls them over so they’re both laying on their sides. He then gently tugs down Lance’s blanket burrow, so his face is visible.

“Is it really so bad that you’ve loved me for so long?”

“It’s not that,” Lance huffs, eyes crossing as he tries to look Keith in the face (they’re very close). “It’s the fact that I did the whole rivalry thing because I was too embarrassed to talk to you. That’s the horrible part.”

Keith laughs again, shifting down the kiss him properly. Lance allows it, even though he’s pretending to be grumpy, because he likes Keith kisses. They’re the best kind.

“I’ve got nothing for you there. That is embarrassing,” Keith says between kisses. He never goes far, which Lance appreciates and also knows it’s because Lance has him koalaed a little. Lance hums and decides he is done talking, wiggling closer into Keith’s space (so close there is no space where they aren’t touching, no space where they aren’t pressed close close closely together). He presses one more kiss to Keith’s mouth before sighing and resting his head back on top of Keith’s heart.

“I love you more than anything,” he whispers, because he does. He presses yet another kiss to Keith’s chest, because he’s sappy and because he can.

“You are the best thing that has every happened to me,” Keith responds, just as quiet. He runs his hands through Lance’s hair, scratching gently every fourth or so pass.

Lance smiles. Maybe his secret really isn’t so embarrassing, after all.

[shyfoxes]

Trying Times [Keith/Lance]

Keith comes back Hot and Lance has a crisis on the bottom bunk.

AO3

For: @rvsvlka

“How is this fair,” Lance muttered to himself. “In two years all I get is more eyebags for studying. Keith goes away for two years and he comes back hot ay eff. ”

The universe just loved to screw with Lance McClain it seemed.

It was the only explanation for his childhood friend slash long time crush coming home from being abroad with his mother for two years, taller and buffer, and every bit more the dream Lance thought he was. If Lance had thought Keith attractive before, with only an inch of height difference between them in Lance’s favor, then Keith was deadly to his health now. Taller by a good three inches, biceps like wow, with wider shoulders, and a firm chest capable of cradling Lance’s head just right; with the perfect amount of distance for Lance’s lips to touch the tantalizing skin of his collarbones peeking through the shirt.

Lance’s longtime fantasies had always been the thought of holding hands and Keith kissing his knuckles, whispering “As you wish” as the sun set on the beach.  Now, Lance dreamt about Keith’s hands. His roughened hands, made hard under the toils of labor, creeping up the back of his shirt. The gleam of Keith’s crooked incisors.

Lance shook his head. He couldn’t let that train of thought keep derailing.

Fantasies aside, Lance was glad to see Keith. He’d known how much leaving had agonized his friend. After eighteen years, his mother had finally come back into his life, had wanted to have him spend the summer with her to reconnect in the Caribbean. He remembered looking at Krolia Kogane, the dark brown of her skin under a mop of dark hair, a pretty face like Keith’s, eyes like Keith’s, and a heart bared to her son for a simple chance.

Lance remembered how withdrawn Keith had been leading up to graduation. The way his quiet nature had taken on a dangerous and discomforting edge. His mother’s presence had left him conflicted and angry and wanting; caught between wishing to freeze her out and reconcile all at once.

Lance remembered the way he’d been curled up with his friend, back to back in Lance’s bed, hearing the agony of decision rocking Keith.

In the end, between Shiro and Keith’s dad, Keith had accepted. He’d gone back to Krolia’s home country with all but a knapsack, a typical Keith move, and had probably taken Lance’s heart with him. At some point, Keith had video called all of them and said - he’d be staying longer than a summer.

Then two years had passed.

Time had done nothing to quell Lance’s feelings or his attraction. So here he was, pretending like he wasn’t hiding in the Kogane’s bathroom, a place he’d been in tons of times when he and Hunk slept over at Keith’s place. He looked at himself in the mirror, cursed the faint scar his zit had left behind, and inhaled deeply.

“Just because Keith is back, and he’s grizzled and - and buff, and really, really, super hot,” Lance swallowed. “Does not mean that you cannot handle this, Lance McClain!”

Making a slight distressed noise, Lance steeled himself and hurried out of the bathroom. Behind Keith’s bedroom door, Lance could hear the tell tale signs of the video game Lance had left Keith playing. Lance laid his forehead against the wood of the door. His heart was beating loud enough that he was sure Keith might think he was knocking. Three days back and Keith had been the one to text Lance to sleep over. He’d promised him videogames and pizza, just like they used to do, with the edge of something unspoken in between the lines. Lance feared he was letting his fantasies get the better of him. Regardless, he’d agreed, and now he was just standing outside his crush’s door trying not to melt. Lance shouldered his way in.

“Took you long enough,” Keith teased. He was flopped back on a mountain of pillows on the floor, a greasy paper towel on his honest-to-god abs where his shirt had ridden up, and he was too busy killing Blighters with Jacob’s brass knuckles to care.

Lance tsked. “You know perfection like this takes time , Keith. I had to be thorough.”

“You look perfectly fine to me. Always have.” Lance could only hope Keith didn’t see the way his face bloomed red. He settled back next to Keith, one leg flung over his knee. “Hey, you want to do the next mission?”

“Hell yeah,” Lance said, switching to Evie.

-

Lance hadn’t even known when he’d fallen asleep. One moment he and Evie were ziplining across rooftops, and the next his cheek was cushioned against Keith’s shoulder. It wasn’t a new thing, leaning into Keith’s space like that. He’d done it enough times when they were growing up that it felt natural. When exhaustion had started to set in, Lance had curled himself against his friend, tucked the heels of his feet into Keith’s thighs where he’d thrown them over his lap. Keith, as usual, had barely even batted an eye, only stolen the controller when he’d deemed Lance too lazy.

Lance woke slowly, groaning as he struggled to open his eyes. He raised his head up, catching the underside of Keith’s jaw in his line of vision. The shadow of coarse hair there made Lance pause. From it, a faint scar hugged Keith’s cheek. He wanted to run his fingers along the curve of Keith’s jaw, trail along the scar. He became aware of where his hand was cradled. Right against that firm chest he’d been fantasizing about lately. A hand smoothed the hair at the back of his head.

“Finally up, huh? Guess I can finally change my shirt,” Keith teased, a cheeky grin on his face.

It made all types of heat flood Lance’s body like molten lava. Just when he thought the cool of the ocean had quelled the fire, there Keith was, grinning his lopsided little grin, still the same, and yet so different, and igniting Lance into ash with the barest of lilts. Unfair.

“Whuh?” Lance muttered, looking back down. Yup, a drool spot. “Oh my gawwd, why didn’t you wake me up? Dude!”

Keith snorted. “It’s not like it’s the first time you’ve done it.” Tenderly, almost like a secret to himself, Keith said, “Won’t be the last time, either.”

Lance flushed, resisting the urge to tuck his face into the curve of Keith’s neck, fingers playing with the fabric of Keith’s tight ass shirt. Had he not gone shopping for new clothes or something? Or was he determined to drive Lance wild? No way he was asking.

When Lance didn’t say anything more, Keith moved his shoulder under his hands, and then motioned his chin towards the bunk beds. “You wanna turn in then? We made pretty good progress on this game.”

“Yeah, why not. We can get more done tomorrow after breakfast if you want,” Lance agreed.

Groaning, he rose to his feet and stretched. Keith crossed in front of him, peeling his shirt off his body and making his way to the dresser in the corner. Lance nearly swallowed his tongue. His eyes followed the lean muscles of his back, the peek of his v when Keith turned, disappearing under the waistband of his pajama bottoms. His shoulder were even wider than his t-shirt seemed to imply, molded to his skin as it may be. A faded scar cut across his shoulder. Without thinking, Lance reached out to touch it. Keith turned to him.

He rested his hand over where Lance’s fingers traced the raised skin. “It’s an old thing. I got it fighting my uncles. They don’t pull any punches, but - they taught me a lot I’m grateful for.”

“Like getting your ass handed to you?” Lance asked, cocking a brow.

Keith laughed. “Well, yeah. Uncle Antok used to grab me by the back of my shirt and just - throw me. I did a lot over there, worked on Uncle Regris’ farm, helped Uncle Kolivan in town. They kept me busy, but they also welcomed me in. Scars mean little in the long run.”

“You really changed, huh,” Lance murmured. “I’m glad you got to go. You look - happier. I’m proud of you.”

Keith squeezed his hand, grinning faintly, shyly. Lance bit his lip. Keith took Lance’s hand in his, eyes lingering on his knuckles as his lips parted. He pulled away to tug his shirt on haphazardly, leaving a bit of skin just below his navel.

“So, top or bottom?” Keith asked.

Lance choked, feeling his palms drench. “Uhm, what?”

Keith tilted his chin at the bunk beds, eyes dark under his lashes. Dangerous. Lance looked away, stuttering around his next words.

“Uh, b-bottom. Good ole bottom bunk. Yep.” Lance gave an awkward laugh.

“Yeah, that sounds right,” Keith said, making his way to the bed. Their hands brushed as Keith passed, igniting Lance like a match. Keith put his foot on the first rung of the ladder. Something like a smirk crept across his face. “Kinda happy to know you’ll be under me.”

He wants to destroy me , Lance helplessly thought.

Then, Keith ascended to the top bunk. “Cuz, the only roommate I had was Uncle Antok and he was the worst. At least I know you don’t snore.”

Lance only just barely contained his internal screaming before he was diving into the bottom bunk. He twisted himself up into the fabric of his sheets, cursing the existence of mullet-haired boys and the way they made him damn near stupid. The Keith from two years ago was an awkward, angry thing, who sometimes had trouble just ordering a drink at a coffee shop. The Keith of now was calm where his other self was not, confident, and dare he say it, charming.

Keith’s knuckles rapped on the metal barrier of the top bunk. “G’night, Lance,” Keith softly said.

Burying himself further against his pillow, Lance gently replied, “Night Keith.”

Sleep wasn’t as easy after that. Not like it had been cradled up against Keith.

-

Lance rolled over. He stared into the darkness of Keith’s room, tracing the familiar outlines of the posters on the wall, and the old glow stars still stuck there. He ran his fingers over the indent he knew was there, the K + L that Keith had etched into the wall when they were eight, and Keith had declared them best friends. Attached not too far from it to the wall was a walkie talkie.

Countless hours over the years spent using them in the still of the night. Telling stories and secrets, and one almost confession the day before Keith was due to leave. Lance took it in his hands. He flipped it on. A hum of static sounded. Lance pressed the button down, gathering his courage.

“Hey, Keith, you awake? Over,” Lance whispered.

Above him, he could hear the other walkie talkie gargle his question. He felt the bed shift, Keith rolling over towards his own. Lance squinted, laughing quietly to himself at the way Keith’s feet apparently hung over the edge of his bunk. Oh boy.

“Yeah, what’s up?” Keith replied. “Uh, Over.”

“You nerd. No I just. I just wanted to tell you, I’m happy you’re back.”

"I’m happy to be back.” Keith’s voice was a gentle thing, warm in Lance’s ear. Chased the silent little fears he didn’t realize he’d had away in an instant. It made him think back to all those nights before, falling asleep together on the phone. (This time without Antok’s snoring as background music). Lance breathed out, pressed his hand over his heart and willed it firm as he let his thoughts tumble free.

“I really missed you, Samurai. You were only supposed to be gone for like two months and here it is two years.” Lance chuckled, a genuine affection in the tone. “Leave it to you to pull such a Keith .”

“You can’t be the only dramatic one in this family,” Keith joked. An edge tinged his voice, one Lance knew well. “Sorry if I made you worry or anything.”

Lance chewed in his lip. He was never mad at Keith, never upset. He needed his friend to know that, understand that. All this time, he only wanted what was best for him.

“Don’t be. I mean, yeah, I worried. I know how much it was - was bothering you before you left. I worried that you were unhappy. But I’m glad I was wrong. I’m glad you’re okay. Better than okay.”

“Me, too. I was...prepared to hate it, to be honest. I was always looking for some reason to just hate everything. Mom and I grew closer, we came to understand things more. She’s even moving back.” Lance could hear the joy in Keith’s voice as he continued. They don’t think I know, but Dad’s going to propose to her all over again. Can you believe it?”

“Who knew Kogane men were so romantic? Maybe it skipped you,” Lance teased.

“Why don’t you come up here and find out?” Keith shot back.

Lance’s heart leapt into his ears. Loud thumps rocking against the inside of his head, Keith’s words a hammer against them. He couldn’t have heard right. A silence fell over them, with just Lance’s aching chest screaming at him and his fingers yearning to hold Keith’s hands in his. He heard Keith shift.

“Lance?”

“Th - There’s no way we’re both fitting up there, you egg.” Good job, Lance. Fake it till you make it. “So, come down here and - ”

Lance jolted at the speed of Keith’s feet hitting the metal ladder, whipping around to watch his friend swing onto the bottom bunk. He tackled him against the mattress, sending them into a painful heap of limbs. Lance pulled at Keith, forcing him to lie side by side with him, his eyes bright

“I love you,” Keith blurted, still the awkward kid Lance could remember. Lance couldn’t help his smile. “I’ve been in love with you and being away only made it worse. If you’ll even just give me one chance, I’ll never let you regret it.”

“I never regret anything with you,” Lance admitted.

Keith gathered Lance’s hands in his, locked eyes with him as he brought his knuckles up for a kiss. The moment his lips touched the skin of his knuckle, brushed the backs of his hands, Lance couldn’t stop the gasp that escaped him.

“Keith, I’ve loved you since we were twelve .” Lance reluctantly took his hands from Keith’s grip, weaseled them around Keith’s neck, and flung a leg over his hip. “Why are you always so late to the party?”

“Better late than never,” Keith muttered petulantly around a lopsided grin. He darted his eyes to Lance’s lips, deliberate in his motions. Lance nipped his finger when he tapped at the plump of his lower lip.

“Gonna kiss me, Chief?”

Cupping Lance’s jaw in his hands, the rough pads of his fingers gentle against the skin of his cheek, Keith drew Lance in. He looked at him from under the cover of his lashes, dark and inviting, committing the high flush of Lance’s cheeks, and the faint freckles hiding at the corners of his eyes to memory. Keith smiled and said, “As you wish.”

No kiss could ever compare, Lance though, melting under Keith’s fire, and pulling him in again and again, until they seemed to collapse and become one. Two stars chasing each other on an endless orbit. Lance pulled away to catch his breath before letting Keith pull him under, breathless and wanting, and greedily rewarded.

-

“Hey be real with me. Were you actually asking about bunk beds earlier?”

“No. I really just wanted to mess with you. I already knew you were a bottom.”

Any attempts at overpowering Keith only ended with Lance pinned. The weight of Keith’s hands on his wrists, the ghost of his teeth nipping at Lance’s lower lip, was more than enough for Lance to melt, and surrender. Raking his fingers through Keith’s hair, Lance parted his lips and accepted defeat.

-

AN: my best bud is feeling not the best. so I hope this is okaaay.I also wanna say I've been Buff Keith since s1 and I am in Heaven. I also stan Lance and the Others calling Keith "Chief" :D.

Nothing about this fic is meant to be taken seriously, it just for fun. I was headcanoning to myself and then with Jas about some silly banter concerning KL and bunkbeds and jokingly how Keith gets Lance to admit he's a bottom lmao. Then this idea popped up in my head. Also, I'm really obsessed with AC Syndicate and I'm late to the party by some years but whatever. So that's why Keith is playing Syndicate. Walkie talkie idea for this goes to Jas.

It was either going to be a modern au or a canon divergence where the castleship (SPOILER) hadn't been blown up /yet/ and Lance got to be tortured by Keith's buff existence a little more. Lance totally gets wrecked at a later point.

as said before this is for my friendo, who is not feeling so great. I hope this can take your mind off things for a little while, love.

no beta and first draft is last draft, so i apologize for mistakes. I HC Human Krolia as being caribbean/west indian. bc why the hell not

[llamamomo]

Lance and his strong boyfriend Keith

[autisticlancemcclain]

Mr. Snuggles

Keith/Lance (Voltron), Hunk & Lance (Voltron), Pidge & Lance (Voltron), Fluff and Humour, 1.5k Words

Summary:

Lance had always had a soft spot for things that were outcasted. 

---

Keith shares an amused grin with Pidge when Lance’s humming fills the comms. Lance never remembers to mute himself when he was stationed somewhere, and he was physically incapable of staying entirely silent for long periods of time, so these stakeout missions were always filled with Lance’s singing. Sometimes, he talks to himself, making little jokes or skits that were always hilarious to hear. Right now, it sounded like he was humming a strange mashup of Uptown Girl and Party Rock Anthem, which was amusing on its own. Lance had an interesting brain.

“Everybody just have a good UPTOWN GIRL! She’s been living in — oh, aren’t you the cutest spider I’ve ever seen!”

Hunk’s sharp inhale over the comms reflected Keith’s own panic — Lance had a hard time remembering that some animals were dangerous, and should not be interacted with. Hunk has tiredly explained (dozens of times) that this is something that Lance has been doing his whole life — Hunk still gets nightmares from the time Lance just gently grabbed a fucking tarantula hawk wasp out of the fucking sky and started pointing out its features. Imagining it makes Keith a little green, and he doesn’t really have much of a problem with bugs. He can’t imagine how Hunk handled that particular situation.

“Aw, aren’t you sweet! Oh, hey, you’re not a spider — you have a separated thorax! What are you?”

The faint sound of their in-armour scanner went off, and all listening paladins sigh in relief. At least this way Lance will find out if the damn thing’s venomous and stay the fuck away.

“You’re a… sil-ti-fal-o-cus tel-o-fay?” Keith imagines the squinty face Lance makes when he is struggling to pronounce a foreign word, and smiles. Lance is adorable, that much Keith could admit in his head.

“Adorable, huh?” Pidge teases, winking at him. Keith scowls, going a little pink. Maybe not so much in his head, then. Oops.

“Oh, wow! That’s not a thorax, it’s a venom sac!” Lance laughs delightedly, and Keith and Pidge share another panicked look.

“Please don’t touch the fucking death spider, Lance,” Hunk whispers, knowing damn well it’s futile and Lance can’t hear him. Not that it would matter, anyway. Lance doesn’t really listen to anyone (except, shockingly, Coran, but Coran was just as much of a tree-hugging explorer as Lance, so that’s a bust).

“You know,” Lance continues, “Coran did say this armour is supposed to hold out against chemical attacks. And venom is a chemical. If there was ever a time to test it…”

“I’m going to kill him,” Hunk says, faux-casual. He turns his video on, showing how he’s smiling in the way that tells you he is actually very angry. “If this spider doesn’t poison him to death, I am going to stab him.”

“I don’t blame you,” Pidge says breathlessly, as she hacks through Lance’s helmet so they can see through his visor.

It takes a moment for the video feed to pop up, but everyone gasps sharply when it does. Instead of a tarantula-sized bug, like everyone was expecting, Lance is holding his hand out and making kissy noises at a spider the size of a fucking cat.

“C’mere, buddy! I won’t hurt ya. I don’t think you’re an aggressive beast who attacks on sight, and whoever wrote that in your file is probably a creep who can’t respect your boundaries and tried to scoop you up or something. Isn’t that right, buddy?” Lance is using the baby voice people often associate with, you know, babies. Or puppies. Things that are cute, not scary murderous poison bugs!

Keith realises he’s holding his breath when his eyes start to spot, and he quickly releases and tries to force himself to breathe normally. If this stupid fucking stakeout mission wasn’t so important, he’d send Hunk to go get his dumbass right hand immediately.

To Keith’s horror, the spider starts to listen to Lance, and advances closer. Lance makes a noise of absolute elation, and his flapping hands are briefly visible before he goes completely still in an effort to be more inviting for, and Keith can’t emphasize this enough, the deadly fucking venomous giant spider.

“Why can’t he be interested in plants, or something?” Pidge says weakly.

“Oh, he is,” Hunk assures darkly. “He’s just only interested in plants he feels are snuffed by others. You know. Plants that can kill you. He has oleander and water hemlock growing in his room back home, because he feels bad that no one else likes them.”

Keith can’t quite help his smile. Yes, Lance is ridiculous. But he’s just so cute. He’s a sweetheart. He just has so much love for everything and anyone — it’s no wonder that Keith fell for him. He’s always had a soft spot for the kind ones.

The spider finally crawls into Lance’s lap and he giggles, and despite everyone’s stress, the sound makes everyone’s lips quirk up.

“You are the sweetest, most adorablest, most wonderful spider in the universe,” Lance coos, scritching the spider under its chin.

In between it’s humongous fangs, Jesus Christ.

“I cannot wait to snitch on Lance and show this to Shiro and Allura,” Pidge comments. “I hope he gets in so much trouble.”

“You know he just has to throw out the puppy dog eyes and he will not even get a slap on the wrist.”

“…Yeah, that’s true.”

The three of them watch, speechless, as the spider seems to nuzzle into Lance.

“What species did he say it was?” Keith asks, bewildered.

“Way ahead of you,” Pidge says, searching through Lance’s scan history. “Holy shit, Lance scans a lot of things every mission. Like, thousands in the past month alone,” she mutters. “Aha! This thing is called a siltifalocus telofay, and of course it’s one of this planet’s apex predators. Because why wouldn’t it be?”

“Are they… usually this cuddly?”

“No, this thing says they usually attack on sight by spraying venom because they feed on fear.”

“Oh. Cool. Lance is canoodling a literal demon spider.”

“I mean, in his defense —”

“No, Keith, he gets no defense! I lose ten years every time he does this! I am seriously going to collapse one day!” Hunk interjects.

“In his defense,” Keith insists, looking pointedly at Hunk, “if the thing didn’t attack him on sight, then it probably doesn’t plan on doing so. He’s probably safe.”

Hunk frowns, but doesn’t argue any further. The three of them turn their attention back to Lance, catching the tail end of his one-sided conversation with the demon spider.

“— and I don’t think anyone on the ship is arachnophobic, so you should be fine, Mr. Snuggles! And your file says you feed on fear, so maybe you can even be trained to attack people! Oh, Keith will love that. Keith is our leader! He’s super cool and intimidating, but don’t let that fool you. He’s a softie, promise. He’s the tall buff one with long hair, you’ll know him when you see him.” Lance lowers his voice, whispering conspiratorially. “He’s the hot one, but don’t tell him I said that.”  

There’s a pause as the paladins absorb this information.

“Does he thinks he’s bringing that fucking thing in the castle?” demands Hunk.

“Did he name the demon spider Mr. Snuggles?” questions Pidge.

“Did he call me hot?” asks Keith.

Shiro’s voice comes from behind them, fond but exasperated. “I think that’s a yes for all three,” he says. Keith and Pidge whip around, and Hunk (still on the comms) looks his way.

“Did you get the guy? Is the mission over? Can we come back?” Hunk asks. 

Shiro nods. “Yeah, he ended up trying to escape through the South end, so Allura and I got him. He’s in cryo until we can ship him to Kolivan for questioning. Hopefully he has some good information.” Hunk is contacting Lance before the words are even out of Shiro’s mouth. Everyone watches the video as he answers.

“Hey Hunky-bear!” he chirps. “What’s up?”

“The mission is over, Lance, Shiro and Allura got the guy on the South end,” Hunk says carefully. “You and I can head back to the Castle now.”

On screen, Lance carefully sets down the demon spider, standing up. “Sounds good!” he says. “I’ll see you on the ship.” He hangs up before Hunk can say anything further (namely: “Lance, you are not bringing the fucking demon spider home.”)

He turns to the spider, patting his thighs and inclining his head towards Blue. “Okay, Mr. Snuggles. I read your file. You feed on fear, and there’s plenty of that where I’m going. In fact, I think you can be an asset! You haven’t hurt me, even though your file says you’re normally aggressive. All these are good things and indicate to me that you should come along with me to the castle. However. I have been lectured ad nauseam by Shiro and Allura about bringing strays home, and I don’t want to go through that again. But,” Keith can hear the grin in his voice, “they never said anything about stowaways! So I am going to board Blue, my lovely and amazing lion, and if you happen to follow me and I happen to not see you, well. Can’t help fate, can we, Mr. Snuggles?”

And with that, Lance strides over to Blue. Shiro sighs again.

“Well, at least I know he hears me when I lecture him.”

Mr. Snuggles does, in the end, turn out to be a wonderful asset. Turns out Zarkon’s soldiers are terrified of the damn thing, and they didn’t even need to send their prisoner to Kolivan. He spilled every base secret he had the second he saw the creature, and Mr. Snuggles enjoyed the terror radiating off the soldier immensely. 

Man, fuck. Convincing Lance to leave strays behind was never going to happen, at this point. The castle is going to become a goddamn zoo.

part two (the tarantula hawk wasp incident)

[autisticlancemcclain]

The first time Hunk saw it, he barely even registered it. The second time, he squinted a little, but let it slide. The third time, he paused, noting the pattern but unsure what to make of it. The fourth time, he sat in bewildered silence and wondered if he should ask about it.

The fifth time, he couldn’t hold back his curiosity.

Pushing his food around on his plate, feigning an air of nonchalance, he turned to Keith.

“Hey, buddy,” he started. “I’ve noticed the, uh —” he gestured with his spork to Keith’s torso area — “wardrobe change. Any particular reason you’re making the change to DIY muscle tees? Not that I don’t love it. You look great, honest. Just, uh, curious.”

Keith barely glances up, and continues shovelling goo down his throat. He unfortunately does not pause to answer, making Allura sigh and Hunk wrinkle his nose.

“Oh, I cut off all my sleeves.”

Luckily, Pidge speaks up, because Hunk is honestly not sure what he’s supposed to say to that.

“…Why? Did you do that?”

“Lance isn’t here.”

“…Okay. We’re not getting an answer from you, I guess.”

This makes Keith pause, blinking slowly at Pidge.

“I… just… answered… you?”

“What does Lance’s absense have to do with your cut-up shirt?” Allura translates.

“He’s not here to stop me,” Keith says simply, as if that is a normal and logical thing to think or say.

“Okay, but Lance is also not here to stop me, and my sleeves have remained on my shirt,” Hunk says.

Keith shrugs. “I dunno what to tell you. I woke up, decided sleeves were Not The Vibe, so I cut them off. Last time I had that particular impulse, Lance woke up and knew, somehow — I think he’s connected to my brain through Red, or something —so he just suggested I don’t wear a shirt. He’s not here, though, and I forgot I could do that until later so off went the sleeves.”

“… I think we should maybe send you on all missions with Lance, from now on. If he’s that great of an influence on you, then it might be necessary. Hell, if he’s gone much longer you might try to see if you can juggle knives or something,” Hunk jokes.

Pidge elbows him in the side. “Don’t give him ideas, doofus —”

“Oh, I tried that yesterday!” Keith interrupts excitedly. “I can juggle three at once so far, but my goal is five.”

“…Yeah, no more separate missions for you two. I think I’ll just Velcro you together for my own piece of mind.”

based on this iconic tumblr post

[squishylotus]

In the buff Keith/Fat Lance thing, I wonder how Lance’s family reacts to A)Lance having a boyfriend and B) Lance no longer being model thin.

I hope I have the right au! I scrolled back and found this so that’s what I’m basing this on :)

Lance having a boyfriend might have been more complicated if it was someone sweet and harmless like Hunk but because it's Keith and he's awkward and now he's Buff as Hell, they feel like they can't really say anything? They're kinda really scared of him. And that causes some tensions at first until Lance's family takes him asside for an intervention. Instead, he talks to them about Keith and how much he loves him and what they've been through together. When they find Keith again he's being used as a human-alien attraction park by all of Lance's younger siblings and his parents are sold. It still takes them a while to process the whole bi and dating a man thing but they do the right thing and keep that to themselves until it's fully resolved.

The fat thing is kind of similar in that Lance is Huge and his parents are Worried but... they're just so glad to have him back. They want to be concerned for his health but he honestly seems fine. He doesn't even get winded at stuff which is... weird? Lance is the one who eventually explains (while Keith is asleep so he can't get defensive about his round boyfriend) that fat isn't bad and he's happy and he even went into the healing pods in the castle so if something was wrong with being fat it would have taken care of it. Again it takes them a while to adjust but eventually it just becomes the new normal. Sometimes his teenaged siblings get embarrassed when he takes them out in public and gets stuck somewhere like in a chair or a turnstile but he just laughs it off and they yank him out.

[squishylotus]

May I ask for a continuation of the Buff Keith & Fat Lance (Klance)? For example: how do their clothes fair, and how do the others react? Can the two still pilot the lions with their new bulk?

Yes, absolutely!!

Keith’s jacket is the first thing to go. His shoulders just can’t be contained now to Lance’s endless frustration. The rest of his clothes last a surprisingly long time, but eventually the sleeves become too tight for his biceps. Of course by then his pecs and abs have been stretching the poor thing to the max for months. His pants are stretchy which is good for his new thunderthighs but also fairly obscene, even to the rest of the crew that aren’t Lance.

Lance doesn’t have the same luck. His jacket is actually the last thing to hold on. It’s the only thing making him feel even remotely decent when his shirt keeps riding up on his gut and his pants keep getting pushed down by his plump ass. That is while they can still button up. He actually pops it clean off in front of everyone when he goes to sit at the blue drone’s command centre during an attack.  

Keith’s lion was made for someone fairly bulky to begin with so he’s fine. At some point he notices the controls are a little further away than they use to be and he makes sure to praise Red endlessly for the accomodation. Lance’s lion isn’t as quick on the uptake. She assumes that because the new bulk is soft, it’ll just move out of the way when he needs to reach something. Of course her calculations are wrong. He’s spilling out of his seat and the controls are digging into the ample flesh of his belly before she finally conceeds and adjusts overnight. To say Lance is relieved the next day is an understatement. 

Their uniforms adapt pretty easily, but since the black panels have more give than the white armour there’s nothing to prevent Lance’s belly and side rolls from ballooning out between his chest and crotch plates. Eventually his belly even sags over his belt temptingly. It’d be a lie to say Keith hasn’t been distracted by it during a mission more than once.

The goo supply survives. It takes a long time for Lance to give in and realize he just made himself fat. By then Keith has slowed down to eating only enough to maintain. Lance tries to diet once, but he doesn’t last very long. By then, he and Keith are dating and it doesn’t take long for his boyfriend to convince him that dieting would be a bad idea and a waste of willpower. Instead, they fuck.