#bullshitnight

[madefromfailure]

I'm in this fight, and I'm swinging, but my arms are getting tired.

Listen Good I don't need nobody This is what you feel are the sounds of insanity Hopin what I hear loops itself to finish me No I wont be afraid

[madefromfailure]

I have just been lost for words.

I sat and watched my coach/other mom break down right in front of me. I didn't know what to say or do. I have never seen someone so upset/vulnerable/broken apart ever in my life. It was so heartbreaking to watch/hear. It was like one of those deep-from-within-the-core-that-have-been-buried-for-too-long cries. I kept asking her what was wrong and tried not to annoy her because she was just too bust crying. I couldn't even make out the words she was saying or tried to muffle out.

I just gave her a long hug and some space. She said she said she was tired and had a huge test coming up soon. I wished her luck and walked out her classroom not being able to believe I couldn't have done anything better or something. I don't know.

Maybe I'm just going through a rough patch but it's been so hard to get myself out of bed in the morning. I can't even describe how I feel or what I'm going through. Not good enough. Good for nothing. I just feel so alone. I don't want to talk to anyone anymore. I hate complaining but it seems like thats all I've been doing lately. And crying. Just bitchin'. fuck everything. I'm dealing with this conflict internally and I'm just going to keep it to myself. I'll just take what other people already said into consideration and keep pushing. After all I just live in misery. I might as well live in misery by myself and keep everyone else out. I just gotta roll with the punches.