#bunny replies

[ask-the-tv-dad]

😱

Lu.....you did not.....

Bunny: No worries! It was just a bit (a one-off post). It says it in the tags

[strawburrybun]

I was kicking my feet and blushing when I heard those Billy Hargrove asmr YouTube shorts to. It sounds exactly like he does in the show

I'M. SAYING.

i'm still not convinced it's not AI man but i'm just....

god.... im embarrassed over how bad those flustered me

[strawburrybun]

Tee hee ❤️😘

Chocolate milkshake please

🥤

i got you baby girl!!!!

what movie do you want to see? 👀

[bunniesandbeheadings]

What did Betsy do to get exiled on Sainte Hélène? For some reason, I thought she arrived either at the same time or a bit later than Napoléon, not before!

I know nothing about her

Ha ha! Well, I was being a little facetious before: Betsy Balcombe wasn't exiled to Saint Helena. But she did live there with her family: mother, father, a sister and two brothers.

We often forget that like, Saint Helena isn't really a deserted island. Until the Suez Canal, it was vital to trade. The Portuguese even used it as a bit of an "ace in the hole" when they discovered it: an island with fresh water and the capability to be farmed almost halfway between the water route between Europe and India? That is like, a save point, or a gas station, and hundreds of ships stopped at Saint Helena every single year, including the years of Napoleon's imprisonment. Which is one of the many reasons I think the idea that Napoleon could never have escaped the island laughable: he didn't, because Hudson Lowe was good at his job, but that was by no means a guarantee.

Like, people live there even today. And they pay rent and everything. And I don't blame them. Ignore everything Napoleon says about Saint Helena being nothing more than a rock to chain "Prometheus" to. Like:

It's gorgeous. The Duke of Wellington probably wasn't even lying when he claimed that he believed that Napoleon could be kept comfortably there. Wellington had stayed there before, too, and indeed even met a toddler!Betsy.

Anyway, so Betsy's father worked on Saint Helena as a provisioner and naturally kept his family with him. Which brings about when Betsy and Napoleon enter P v P mode.

The people of Saint Helena learned that Napoleon escaped from Elba, reclaimed the throne of the French, lost the battle of Waterloo, abidcated again and was being exiled to their island about 24 hours before Napoleon landed on the island. They had to learn all of this in about one conversation. I imagine many eyebrows were raised.

Anyway, since they learned Napoleon was coming approximately around the time they would've seen his ship on the horizon, they didn't really. Have a place to put him. Like, it was unsafe to keep Napoleon at an inn in Jamestown for too long and also he doesn't want to do that, but where do we put him?

Enter: the Balcombe house.

While being taken on an excursion to review where his future home/prison would be located, Napoleon saw the Balcombe house, known as the Briars, and asked if he could stay there instead. And the Balcombes said, "uh, I guess."

And so Napoleon Bonaparte became the weirdest house guest anyone could ever expect with less than 24 hours notice. Betsy, meanwhile, had grown up hearing the whole "if you don't do your homework, Boney will eat you" schtick, and so was a little weirded out when Napoleon Bonaparte was just. Having dinner in her house.

Fun fact: the Balcombe adults did not understand or speak French. And Napoleon's English was ass. Betsy, however, knew French from having a French governess. So she became de facto translator.

I like to imagine that his first dinner there with the middle class family had to be the weirdest experience anyone there had had. And Napoleon had had a lot of weird experiences but I feel like this had to rank among them.

Napoleon stayed with them for a few months and even when he left he remained on friendly terms with the family, although he does seem to have had a falling out with the father probably becaues Mr. Balcombe may or may not have been using Napoleon in a weird embezzlement scheme or because Napoleon may or may not have been sleeping with his wife.

Anyway, Betsy would proceed to menace Napoleon like it was her job or something. She pushed him down a ravine, burned him with hot wax, tried to stab him with the sword he wore at Austerlitz, sicced her dog on him, tried to destroy his memoirs, cut the coat he wore at Waterloo, laughed at him when he was in pain post-tooth pulling, may or may not have bribed her brother to give Napoleon poisonous candy, insulted Napoleon for wearing his jammies too late in the day etc. al; Napoleon, for his part, stole a dress she wanted to wear to a ball, weirdly taught her how to shoot a gun which brings about the question of why we still allow Napoleon to have guns, gaslit her into thinking she was haunted by a ghost of her dead tutor, and tried to bribe her into setting the French commissioner on fire.

She may not have been exiled to Saint Helena

But I feel like she would have deserved that.

Ironically, she and her family were later exiled from Saint Helena, either because they were too friendly with Napoleon or because, again, Betsy's father may have been skimming so much money off the top with embezzlement that the government couldn't ignore it anymore. Scam everyone even your government.

Anyway, it's a delightful anecdote in history! thank you for asking!

[bunniesandbeheadings]

🔥

My unpopular opinion is…

I think Napoleon could’ve lived a happy life on Saint Helena if he stopped being stubborn for five seconds. “Oh no, they are inviting me to balls but calling me General Bonaparte rather than Emperor Napoleon”

Who cares?

You’re being invited to balls.

Just go to the ball, have fun, charm people, and…and that might do more for your cause than locking yourself in your house and forcing your toadies to play dollhouse with you.

So many people criticize the British for making a mountain of a molehill re:Napoleon’s imperial title. But that goes both ways!

“Napoleon, you can go anywhere on this island so long as you have an escort and also answer to “General Bonaparte” “I’d rather be dead” < from this exchange many historians have decided that Napoleon was being abused on Saint Helena. Like, no?

Napoleon’s existence on Saint Helena sucked. But better living conditions were in length of his arm.

[inhibitionfreewriting]

THE JEALOUSY HEADCANNONS ABSOLUTELY. nick was definitely a more physically with whoever the other person was when he was younger, more willing to shove them out of the way of hit there arm off of you. but god FORBID you started to look even a little bit uncomfortable due to the other person. younger nick (and even him a little bit now, old habits die hard what can i say) would go straight to attacking the dude. i don’t see him caring much about making a scene because it wouldn’t be any of his or your friends bothering you in that situation, so their opinion doesn’t really matter. sorry for rambling but your tags invoked something in me i had to share

NO PLEASE SHARE ALWAYS I LOVE THIS THANK YOU I LOVE TO KNOW THAT WHAT IM WRITING MAKES SOMEONES BRAIN TICK

nick just going straight to decking someone and you just yell in reflex like "NICK" and he shrugs and wipes his hand off "guys a douche" akdjfghaed and lets be real it's the hottest thing you've seen all day and you keep that memory in your pocket.

and absolutely balling my eyes out at the idea of having a counter on your phone that's like - "days since nick punched a guy" and you just reset it. he definitely doesn't get super jealous all the time but you're so fucking pretty and when people outside the circle want your attention he's like 🤷🏻‍♂️ talk shit get hit

i love him

[inhibitionfreewriting]

Imagine you work as a club manager at a gym and you always get hit on by guys because MEN

and one day Hasan comes to workout while you working and checking the equipment and is like ‘hi babe’ and kisses you

let’s just say guys saw what brick wall you were dating and you were never bothered ever again

the first way i read this was like, you're not ACTUALLY dating but you and Hasan are close friends or get along and he does it to get them off your back 💀

you are wrecked the rest of the day though because you can't stop thinking about it and neither can he, even if he did it on a whim and after was like "oh uh, sorry if that caught you off guard. figured it would get them off your back if they thought we were together" I JUST IMAGINE YOU BLURTING OUT LIKE

"we could be together for real if you wanted" KJHASDBFGJA

[bunniesandbeheadings]

Is there a particular reason why you switched from frev to mostly Napoleon?

Hyperfixations are like that. Still Vive Robespierre, just branched out a bit. Conveniently, this happened right around the time the movie trailer dropped, so it's growing organically what with all the Discourse.