#burning headache

[mythologyfolklore]

Èrláng Shén: THEY COME SEASONALLY! THEY COME EVERY YEAR! Huáguāng: What- Yuèbèi Xīng, is he drunk again? Èrláng Shén: IT DOESN’T MATTER WHERE I GO! WHAT DOES IT MEAN?! Yuèbèi Xīng: What does WHAT mean? Buddha Victorious in Strife, the only one who knows what Èrláng Shén is talking about: I mean, when you found one in the bathroom- Huáguāng: WHAT THE FUCK DID THE TRUE MONARCH FIND IN THE BATHROOM?! Èrláng Shén: I’M TELLING YOU LIKE- LIKE IN THE SWIMMING POOL- IN L.A.- Èrláng Shén: EVERYWHERE I GO, THE DUCKS COME TO ME! Yuèbèi Xīng: Oh, for fuCKS SAKE, JÌFÙ!!!

[mythologyfolklore]

Huaguang Dadi, to Yuebei Xing: You wanna fight? All right, let’s take this outside. The stars are so bright tonight and the moon looks so nice. Here, hold my hand—

*meanwhile on Flowerfruit Mountain*

Sun Wukong: *sneezes, then scowls*

Erlang Shen: What's wrong, dear?

Sun Wukong: *snarls* Someone stole my pick-up line.

[mythologyfolklore]

Huaguang Dadi: Remember. More espresso, less depresso! Yuebei Xing: *Chugs a cup of offee* I still depress but now I'm fast,

Huaguang: Hah! I'm faster!

*and then they raced across China*

[mythologyfolklore]

Yuebei Xing: Know why I called you in here? Huaguang Dadi: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic. Yuebei Xing: *Stops pouring two glasses of wine.* Accidentally?

That was not an accident.

[mythologyfolklore]

HuaguangDadi: Every zoo is a petting zoo unless you’re a coward. YuebeiXing: I’m worried about you.

Lol, no she's not. She's more dangerous than any zoo animal and he's dating her, lol.

[mythologyfolklore]

Huaguang Dadi: Good morning! Yuebei Xing: Is it? Is it really?

Huaguang: Damn, calm down, edgelady!

[mythologyfolklore]

YuebeiXing: Hey! Did you know your my BFFLWYLION? HuaguangDadi: What is that supposed to mean? YuebeiXing: Boy Friend For Life Whether You Like It Or Not. HuaguangDadi: HuaguangDadi: That’s one way to say it, I guess…

She has chosen her mate.

[mythologyfolklore]

Yuèbèi Xīng: Huáguāng ... you've been cuddling with me for over an hour now. Huáguāng: *muffled* mm hmmm :) Yuèbèi Xīng: Fuck. I should be annoyed, but you're adorable. *BONUS* Huáguāng: *has fallen asleep* Yuèbèi Xīng: *looks into the camera and whispers* I'm tolerating this, because he's touch-starved as fuck, but don't tell him I know that!