#bus lore

[thecommunismbus]

hey can I drive I have murdered people several times

sure thing!!! where to friend. :-)

[thebuslot]

[@busdriverassistant walks up the steps and peers through the telescope. Just as it presses its eye up to the eyepiece, the floor gives way. Except this time, it doesn't feel like it's just caving in. No- the happened on purpose. Its swiftly meets the floor and hears a slow metallic clap. Looking up, the Buslot android stands before it. A deep red cape made of a discarded flag is draped around its shoulders, held on by a rusted chain that clinks when it moves.]

WELL? ARE YOU SATISFIED YET? HERE WE ARE. THE VERY CENTRAL CHAMBER. I SAVED YOU SOME TIME, DROPPING YOU. DOWN HERE.

[It tries to look imposing, but being only 4 feet tall isn't doing it any favors.]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. I WOULD. GIVE IT TO YOU IF I COULD. I DON'T LIKE THIS ANYMORE. I. DON'T KNOW. WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO ME. I CAN'T LOOK AWAY. CAN'T DO ANYTHING BUT TRY TO STOP YOU.

[It flicks its wrist and a door clanks open to reveal an elevator.]

PLEASE. JUST. MAKE THIS. EASY FOR ME. WHATEVER YOU ARE LOOKING FOR, JUST SAY IT WASN'T HERE. PLEASE. I MISS AB. I MISS TALKING TO PEOPLE.

[bus-radio]

I think..

I think I'm hungry.

..I've uh..never been hungry before.

[justabusrider]

🄸 🄳🄾🄽'🅃 🄺🄽🄾🅆 🅆🄷🄴🅁🄴 🄸 🄰🄼. 🄸 🅃🄷🄸🄽🄺 🄸'🅅🄴 🄱🄴🄴🄽 🄷🄴🅁🄴 🄰 🅆🄷🄸🄻🄴. 🄷🄾🅆 🄳🄸🄳 🄸 🄶🄴🅃 🄷🄴🅁🄴. 🅃🄷🄴🅁🄴 🄰🅁🄴 🄽🄾 🄱🅄🅂🄴🅂 🄸🄽 🅂🄸🄶🄷🅃. 🅃🄷🄸🅂 🄸🅂🄽'🅃 🄰 🄱🅄🅂 🅂🅃🄾🄿. 🄸 🄳🄾🄽'🅃 🄺🄽🄾🅆 🅆🄷🄴🅁🄴 🄸 🄰🄼. 🅃🄷🄸🅂 🄸🅂🄽'🅃 🄰 🄱🅄🅂 🅂🅃🄾🄿. 🅆🄷🄴🅁🄴 🄸🅂 🄴🅅🄴🅁🅈🄾🄽🄴. 🄸 🄳🄾🄽'🅃 🄺🄽🄾🅆 🅆🄷🄴🅁🄴 🄸 🄰🄼

[ghostbusdriver]

hey, ghosty, it's- it's me, i... i might be about to make a bad decision. and your input would be- as always, even if i forget to say it- highly valuable to me, if you wouldn't mind-

do you happen to know much about demons? or the dealings thereof? or, ideally: what it is... to make a deal with one? i can't help but suspect that i will, eventually, or perhaps instantly, have regrets- many, or few, i can't even begin to guess- but terms have seemed promising thus far, even with all my nitpicking- you know a great bit about the paranormal, and i want to ensure that, at least, i'm not about to make too big of a mistake.

more directly: if i was about to sign an infernal contract with a creature of hell who's asked to be referred to as "pal", what would be important to know beforehand? if you know? i suppose it may show my ignorance, perhaps rudely, to just assume you'd know much about the workings of devils, only because you ferry the dead to their final destinations.

but, if you do know, and your better judgement considers agreeing to the deal to be overly unwise... i don't intend to be impossible to be dissuaded, but at the same time, i must be honest with you in that i do not expect to be.

-funky.

oh! i’m glad you value my advice so much! :DDDD

he listens intently. when the word demon comes up, his eyes widen, and his masks lifts a little as his eyebrows raise. pal… must be a name all demons use. surely it couldn’t be…

no. it couldn’t be.

demons… demons aren’t meant to be messed with. they take everything from you. you’ll barley get what you asked for, a grape when you ask to feed your family, a pile of pennies when you ask for fortune.

demons aren’t your friend. you have to remember that. they may go by “pal” or other names, meant to trick you.

but they are not your friend.

they do not care about your life or your problems. they do not want to help you.

i hate to be mean. i really don’t like!!! saying all this nasty stuf!!!

but… i have to. that’s what they are.

but whatever you do…

ghost looks down, mask darkening, eyes dull and unfeeling

do not give away your soul.

then he looks back up, seemingly apologetic, smile returning.

oh!!! um- sorry- i don’t have any say in what you do with your soul!!!!!

i mean- best case scenario- you get to haunt a place! that’s pretty cool!!! ghouls… ghosts without souls… they can’t move on, y’know.

no afterlife for them…

they can’t go anywhere but limbo.

it’s sad.

and usually, they end up like… the ones i’ve got.

he gestured to the back of his bus, where screaming can be heard in the quiet between their conversation.

it’s not my choice! of course!

i’d love to spend eternity with your soulless self but… i don’t recommend it!! personally. that is.

and please hun, come to me with anything! i’m always here to help. <333

[averagebusdriver]

OwO ? what’s this……

Why hello there, special! ;)

A little birdy told us that you were involved in a certain… heist, recently?

What a shocker! We’re not really mad, of course, just… disappointed.

Here’s the truth, Average—you’re just that. Average. Just like everybody else. Boring!

How would you like to be exceptional?

We could make it happen, you know. We could make anything happen.

We’re not going to punish you for your little—slip up. Not yet. I doubt you’d even tell us where the other buses are, anyway.

But do keep us in mind, darling. Loyalty to GoodBusInc has its rewards. We’ll have our eyes on you…

Hmmmm...

Well, I kinda like being "average". Being like everyone else means I don't draw much attention, and I don't like being in the spotlight that much.

But... I will consider your offer...

[communistbusdriver]

Hey, I am here now!!! I am Commie (they/them) and I have a normal past. Anyways, I believe we should spread the glory of communism across the land! Bring equality to all people!

[totallyabusdriver]

[An angular man in a suit and broken green glasses has approached your car bus.]

Good evening, is this your car—uh… hmm… wait…

[His glasses appear to be sparking, and giving off smoke. A tiny robotic voice emanates from them, saying: Car, no, Bus, no, Car, no - no - Bus? No, er—error]

What the hell… what the hell kind of cryptic bullshit am I looking at here…? Is this thing a bus, or a car?

hello there! it’s a 100%, without a doubt, BUS! And who might you be?

[Her eyes hold a glint of suspicion.]