@bencookisagod : okay i found one! you just have to start it with ‘the first time i saw them’ (if that’s not specific enough lmk)
believe me babe, i took it and ran. this is super long and the timing doesn’t always make sense but i think it’s cute and it’s a different concept than what i usually write so im excited to see what you guys think.
also there’s like a little subplot that i worked in here that i might write for later depending on how school goes
The first time she sees them, she's pretty sure her heart drops and makes a hole in the tile floor.
Buttons has his face nuzzled in the neck of the slightly taller boy, muffling a laugh at something that had been said previously.
Logically, she knew he was dating someone, Buttons rarely ever talked about anything besides the boy he liked, but seeing him in the middle of the hallway with his hand laced in the other boys and a bright smile on his face made her stomach fall to her feet.
Finch sees her standing a few feet away, and immediately waves her over to where her friends are circled in the hall. She pretends she doesn't see him, instead opening her locker so she can block the sight of Buttons pressed against someone else.
"Y/N, hey," Finch's voice comes from the other side of the metal door, him and JoJo standing beside her locker, "Buttons finally brought around that boy he's been seein'. Come say hi."
"Yeah, course," she musters up a smile, closing the metal door and following the two boys over to where her friends were gathered.
"There she is!" Buttons smiles, and her heart softens. "Noah, Y/N. Y/N, Noah, he came to visit for lunch. This girl is like, literally my rock, definitely my best best friend."
Finch looks like he's about to argue, but shrugs and nods instead, causing some of the others to laugh.
Noah sticks his hand out politely, smiling.
"Nice to finally meet you," he says, "Ben talks about you more than he talks about anything else."
Her smile wavers slightly, Ben. No one's called Buttons by that name for years, not unless its a serious conversation, and even then the name felt reserved for his best friend, for her.
She takes the other boys hand, shaking it.
"Hopefully good things," she jokes, "I've heard some stuff about you as well."
"Also hopefully good things," Noah smiles, "and please don't hold it against me if I forget names, he never mentioned that there was so many of you."
That prompts a laugh from the group, Buttons' face turning red as he hides in Noah’s shoulder again. She feels her stomach flip, and then someone elbows her in the side gently.
She looks up to see JoJo, eyebrows furrowed. He nods to the side, and she follows him away from the group.
"I was gonna ask you the same thing," JoJo says, crossing his arms as he leans against the metal lockers, "you seem off."
"I'm fine," she says, shrugging, "everything's fine."
"Mmhmm," JoJo shakes his head, "you and Buttons may be best friends, Y/N, but we've been in each others lives since the sixth grade. I can tell when you're lying. Talk to me," he says gently, soothingly, "what's wrong?"
Her gaze lingers on Buttons as he walks passed them hand in hand with Noah, something in her chest aches. JoJo notices.
She follows him out to a courtyard, running a hand through her hair as they sit at one of the tables.
"This is about Buttons, I presume?"
"What makes you say that?"
"If it wasn't about him you would've already talked to him," JoJo says, "c'mon, you and me are practically siblings, you can trust me."
"I messed up, Jo," she breathes, shaking her head as she stares at her hands, "made the mistake of falling in love with my best friend, and now he's off and happy with his crush and I want to be happy for him, really I do, but I see them together and-" she cuts herself off, taking a deep breath, "what makes it worse is the fact that Noah is genuinely a good guy; he's nice and he's good to Buttons and part of me wants to hate him, but I can't. Because Buttons deserves the world, he deserves to be happy, and he deserves to have his best friend be happy for him."
JoJo's silent for a few moments, she can see the wheels turning in his head.
"You...you like Buttons?"
"We've been best friends since we were seven," she laughs shakily, "bound to happen, I guess."
"Well shit," JoJo whistles, "that's quite a situation you've got yourself in."
The girl hums a bit, leaning her head on JoJo's arm.
"Tell me a secret, Joey," she whispers.
"S'only fair I suppose," JoJo says quietly, taking a deep breath, "I think I like Finch."
"Bi. I think," JoJo fiddles with his fingers, "that's what feels right, I mean."
She takes one of JoJo's hands in hers to stop his anxious twitches.
"You remind me of how Buttons was when he first told me he was pan," she laughs a bit, "s'okay, Jo. I'm glad you told me."
"I'm glad I told you," he smiles, "aren't we a pair, both pining after our best friends?"
"So cliché," she shakes her head, "c'mon, we should get to lunch."
"You haven't told anyone about what I told you back that day in the courtyard, have you?" JoJo questions, sitting next to her on the metal bleachers with his hands in his pockets.
"What, that you like Finch or that you're bi?" She asks quietly, eyes trained on the track in front of them.
"Either, both," JoJo says, swallowing anxiously.
"Course I haven't told anyone, it’s not my place" she says, finally looking up at him with worry in her eyes, "why, what happened?"
"Jack made a comment," he said, "about how me and Finch would make a cute couple. I played it off, but I was just wondering if you said anything."
"No, I didn't," she replies, "but you don't exactly hide it, JoJo. I'm surprised I didn't guess before you told me. We're both painfully obvious, I mean," she shrugs, turning her gaze back to the field where Finch, Buttons, Race, and a few more of their friends stood warming up for the track meet, "we're out here freezing our asses off on metal bleachers in the middle of February just to watch them basically run laps."
"We've got it bad, don't we," JoJo sighs, resting his chin on his fist.
"So bad," she replies, standing once she sees Buttons at the fence, "be right back."
"You didn't have to come," Buttons smiles as she leans against the metal in front of him, "it's a pre-invitational, nothing important."
"Any meet you run in is important," she replies, "plus what else would I do with my Tuesday night, you're the only one who hangs out with me on a regular basis."
"Not true," he boy rolls his eyes, shrugging off his varsity jacket, "I feel bad that you're sitting in the cold, at least put this on, please."
She can't help the smile that spreads across her face, slipping her arms into the still-warm sleeves and letting the smell of him wash over her. She’s about to speak when someone else cuts her off.
"Hey, Ben, I'm so so sorry I'm late," a breathless Noah appears by her side, "I haven't missed it yet, have I?"
"No, we just finished warm ups," Buttons smiles, practically melting the snow with the brightness, and presses a quick, chaste kiss to his boyfriends lips, "practice run long?"
"Yeah, coach made us run like ten extra laps because some of the boys were late getting out to the field," Noah smiles, "didn't stay to change either, hope that's okay."
The girl glances down at the cotton uniform Noah wore underneath a heavy jacket.
"You, in baseball pants?" Buttons raises an eyebrow, smirking. "I will never complain about that, ever."
Y/N shoves her hands in the jacket pockets, all to aware of Davenport written across the back. The name used to make her feel safe, but standing next to her best friend and his boyfriend, it makes her feel out of place.
"Why don't you go sit with Y/N and JoJo?" The sound of her name draws her out of her thoughts. "We should be starting soon."
Noah turns to her, and she finds herself unable to be mad at the fact that he's there.
"Course not," she smiles, "I've got some great stories to tell about Buttons if you're interested."
With strict instructions from Buttons to not share embarrassing stories - instructions she was blatantly going to ignore if it came to it - the two teens make their way back to JoJo on the bleachers, once again sitting on the cold metal.
"You guys come to these often?" Noah asks.
"As much as we can," JoJo replies, "you play baseball?"
"Yeah," the boy nods, "that's how I met Ben, actually. He was running around the park I was playing at and we kinda bumped into each other."
She feels the boys gaze linger on the jacket draped around her torso, and she swallows nervously.
"Couple of our friends play too," she says, "actually, I think a good three fourths of the baseball team is in our friend group."
They laugh a bit, dying down into silence as the announcer calls for the first relay.
Noah pulls out his phone to record Buttons, and JoJo elbows her with curiosity in his eyes.
"So did he give that to you before or after he showed up?" He whispers, eyes darting to the varsity jacket.
"As?" She shrugs. "I was putting it on when he showed up. Trust me, it was as awkward as you think."
JoJo bites down on his lip, eyes now focused on Finch as he stands in line for the relay. He shakes his head slightly.
"Why does it feel like we're doing something wrong?" He asks.
"I dunno," she replies, "at least Finch is single, you're pining after someone that's available, meanwhile I'm in love with not only my best friend but someone that literally has a significant other."
She glances to the side to make sure the other boy hadn't heard, and her heart sinks at the loving smile that adorns his face as he records the race.
"I'm too sober for this," she mutters, leaning her head on JoJo's shoulder with a sigh.
The boy pulls a water bottle out of his jacket pocket, and she immediately notices the smell is definitely not that of water. She takes a sip.
Her phone ringing pulls her out of the trance of studying she had been in, a picture of her and Buttons filling the screen. Her mind immediately races back to a week prior at the track meet, and she misses the warmth of his varsity jacket.
"Hey B," she answers, leaning back in her desk chair, "what's up?"
He sounds worried, rushed, hurt.
"Buttons, what's going on?" She asks, grabbing her keys and a jacket and making her way towards the front of her house. "Where are you?"
"Home," he breathes, "I just...I think I'm having a panic attack, I need you, p-please."
"Yeah, course, I'm on my way," she says, "just breathe, okay? I'll be there in five."
She gets there in three, making her way up to Buttons' room without waiting to be let in.
He's curled in the corner, hands wrapped around his legs as he stutters out breath after breath.
"Hey, love, it's okay," she says gently, kneeling in front of him, "it's okay, I'm here, you're okay. Can I touch you?"
The boy doesn't respond, but reaches out presses his hand to where her heart is, a grounding technique he'd picked up from Davey.
"Buttons, hey, it's okay," she murmurs, but the boy keeps his gaze shooting around the room, eyes unclear and unseeing.
The girl rests her hand on his chest for a moment, taking in the feeling of his heart racing under her fingers. She rubs circles into his palm, trying to calm him down enough for him to recognize that she's there.
"I need you to breathe for me," she soothes, "focus on me, okay? Hey," she places a gentle hand on his cheek, bringing his gaze up to her face, "s'okay, Benji, I'm here."
Buttons locks eyes with her, seeing her for the first time, and his breathing slows.
"S-sorry," he says, chest hitching a bit, "I'm sorry."
"Shh, don't be sorry," she says, "I'm gonna go get you some water, okay?"
The boy grips her hand tighter, eyes widening a bit.
"D-don't leave m-me," he mutters, "I'm sorry I'm like this, p-please don't leave."
"Hey, no, shh, it's okay," she says, "I'll be right back, I'm not going anywhere."
"Promise?" Buttons sounds broken, eyes watery and lip trembling.
"I promise," she responds, "I'm just gonna run down stairs and get you some water, five minutes, okay?"
The boy nods, letting go of her hand. She makes her way down to the kitchen, pulling her phone out of her pocket and immediately dialing the number.
"What happened tonight?" She asks the question before the other boy can even say hello, trying to keep her anger in check.
"What do you mean?" Noah sounds concerned. "What's going on?"
"You and Buttons," she clarifies, "what happened?"
"Uh, nothing," the boy replies, "I mean, nothing out of the ordinary, really. We went to dinner and a movie and then I dropped him off at home. Why?"
"I just," she pauses, deciding not to tell him what happened, "nothing, I was just wondering."
"Yeah, yeah," she nods even though he can't see her, grabbing a glass out of the cabinet and filling it, "sorry I just...I saw Buttons come home and was curious, figured you would tell me more than he would," she lies.
"Uh, okay," he doesn't sound convinced, "you sure everything's okay?"
"Yeah, everything's fine," she says, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you."
"Alright," Noah says, "I'll talk to you later I guess."
She makes her way back up to Buttons' room, happily surprised to see the boy now sitting on his bed instead of in the corner.
Y/N's pretty sure her heart stops beating at his words. She chokes silently on air, and then stutters out a response.
"Yeah," Buttons breathes deeply, taking a quick sip of the water after she hands it to him, "I dunno. We were out tonight, he came to pick me up and when I opened the door he was holding flowers and the first thing that crossed my mind was that I love him."
"And then he dropped me off," Buttons shakes his head, "walked me to the front door, grabbed my hand and kissed me and I...the only response I could muster was I love you."
The girl smiles, and somehow feels both happy and sad at the same time.
It's his smile that gives it away, and for the first time that night he seems genuinely happy.
"He said that he loves me too."
"That's," she pauses, heart pounding in her ears, "that's amazing, Buttons. I'm happy for you."
"You don't think it's too soon?"
"You've been together for four months," she shakes her head, "I could've told you you loved him the moment you brought him around to meet us."
The boy lets out a breath.
"Yeah, I guess you're right," he says, and his happiness makes her smile, "he's so good to me, Y/N, like I can't even describe it. I mean, what kind of person sits through New York weather in February to watch me run a few laps?"
"That's amazing, B," she says, "really. But can I ask what made you spiral?"
"I just kept rethinking the conversation," he mumbles, "kept thinking about everything's that gone to shit in my life after it made me happy, and I don't want him to be added to that list."
There's a beat of silence, Y/N fiddling with her fingers as Buttons drinks more of the water.
"So," he finally says, "you and JoJo?"
"Me and JoJo?" She repeats, eyebrows furrowing. "Whaddya mean?"
"I dunno, you've been spending a lot of time together," Buttons replies, "just wondering if there was maybe something going on."
She smiles at the thought, and the fact that most of her and JoJo's conversations consist of complaining about Buttons and Finch.
"No, nothing's going on," she says, "I can assure you of that."
"Good," Buttons says all too quickly, "I mean, I always thought him and Finch had a thing going."
"You and pretty much everyone else."
"Hey babe," Buttons smiles, pressing a kiss to Noah's cheek as he enters his room, "how was your day?"
"Good, it was good," the boy smiles back at his boyfriend, twisting his fingers as Buttons takes a seat on Noah's bed, "yours?"
"Really good," Buttons smiles, "Y/N and I skipped lunch in the cafeteria and had a makeshift picnic in the theater, just the two of us, it was nice."
"I uh," the other boy stumbles, "can we talk?"
Buttons feels the smile slip off of his face, but he nods all the same.
"E-everything okay?" He stutters.
"Yeah, Ben," the name sends a shiver down Buttons' spine, and he doesn't know whether its a good feeling or not, "everything's fine. I just...I wanna talk about Y/N."
Buttons' eyebrows furrow in confusion, and he scoots a bit closer to the boy in front of him.
Buttons barely holds back the laugh that threatens to leave his lips, shaking his head.
"Course she likes me, she's my best friend," he says, "what's going on?"
"You really gonna make me spell it out?" Noah questions, running a hand through his hair. "I think she likes you. Scratch that, I think the girl is in love with you. And I think you feel the same."
"I," Buttons pauses, shaking his head again, "I don't know what you're talking about. She's my best friend. Yeah I love her, but not like that. We're close, but that's it."
"I don't think that's it," he says gently, "what you have...the way the two of you work, it's more than just best friends. And I think if you think about it you'll realize that how you feel about her is more than friendship."
Buttons opens his mouth to respond, but closes it as he contemplates the other boys words.
He thinks about her, about all the years they've spent together, all the shit they've gone through, and all the happiness as well.
He's hyperaware of the way his heart speeds up when he pictures her at junior year homecoming when they went as each others dates, the same way his heart races when he sees Noah after a long day at school. It's the same, and yet somehow different.
"I guess I..." he whispers, looking down at his hands, "I just thought that it was friendship, I didn't...I never thought that...I do-"
Noah cuts the boy off, placing a gentle hand on Buttons' cheek to calm him down.
"Hey, it's okay," he smiles softly, "I know this is weird, especially coming from me, but I don't think you did anything wrong. We can't decide our feelings, I don't blame you."
Buttons looks up at him, eyes watery.
"I don't know what to do," he stutters, shaking his head, "Noah I...I love you."
"I know you love me," the boy replies, smiling sadly, "but I think you love her too. And I think you love her more, if I'm being honest."
"So what do I do?" Buttons questions. "This isn't...I don't know how to deal with this."
Noah presses a gentle kiss to the boys forehead, pulling away with sad expression on his face.
"Go talk to her," he says, "tell her how you feel, tell her what's going on. You deserve to be the happiest you can possibly be, Ben, and I think she's going to make you happier than I ever could."
Buttons stares at the boy in front of him, someone so selfless and moral that he would give up a good relationship just to make the other person happy, and only one thought run through his mind.
"I didn't deserve you," he says, shaking his head, "not even a little bit."
"I love you, Benjamin Davenport," Noah smiles, "always will. And if for some reason I'm wrong and she doesn't love you the way I think she does, I'll be here. I promise."
"I love you too," Buttons sniffles, taking a deep breath, "I think I have someone I need to visit."
"Good luck," Noah smiles, a genuine smile, "keep me posted, okay? Like I said, you deserve to be happy."
Buttons smiles, and presses a gentle kiss to the other boys lips, soft and sad and yet some how full of hope.
He dials her number as he makes his way out of Noah's house, wiping a tear off of his cheek as the phone rings.
"Hey B," she answers her normal greeting after the second ring, making the boy smile, "what's up?"
"You home?" He asks, and hopes his voice doesn't waver.
"Yeah, just got done with dinner," she responds, "everything okay?"
"Yeah everything...everything's fine," he smiles a bit, "we just need to talk, is it okay if I come over?"
"Always," she replies, "see you soon."
Once he arrives at her house, he makes his own way in, saying a quick hello to her parents before making his way up stairs to her room.
"Hey love," she says as he enters her room, and Buttons' heart speeds up a bit, "what's going on?"
"Noah and I broke up." Buttons flinches at the bluntness of his words.
There was probably a better way to phrase that.
The girl shoots out of her chair, eyes wide and concerned.
"Oh my god, Buttons," she grabs his hand, sitting him down on her bed next to her, "what happened? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, I," he pauses, looking at their joined hands, "it wasn't bad, it was for the best, actually."
Buttons takes a deep breath, and suddenly he can't seem to remember a time when he didn't feel this way about her. He wonders why it took him this long to actually figure it out.
"He told me that I was in love with you," he says quietly, "and that you were in love with me."
Y/N freezes, all to aware of their still intertwined hands.
"I don't...I don't understand," she says, "he dumped you because he thinks I love you?"
"He didn't dump me," Buttons laughs nervously, "he...he let me go, as cliché as that sounds. And he doesn't just think you love me, he's pretty sure he knows you do."
"Buttons," she starts, but for some reason the nickname doesn't seem right in this situation, "Ben, I...I don't know how he found out but I promise I was never going to do anything to make you two split, I would never want that. I want you to be happy and Noah makes you happy so I wasn't going to mess with it, I'm so so sorry I didn't ever wan-"
The boy cuts off her rambling by pressing his lips against hers, his other hand cupping her cheek to keep her close.
Something inside his chest explodes in the best way possible, and while it's the same feeling he had with Noah it's somehow stronger and better than he had felt before.
"I'm sorry," he pulls back, just barely, mumbling against her lips, "I should've asked before I-"
This time it's her that cuts him off, connecting their lips once again. She pulls herself off of the bed to straddle his waist, hands tangled in the hair at the bottom of his neck. His fingers grip her waist, twisting around the belt loops on her jeans.
"B, I," she pulls away, enough to look at his face, "as much as I enjoy that, I still don't completely understand."
"Some how he knew," Buttons explains, "said that he knew how I felt about you and how you felt about me. He said that you would make me happier than he would, and that I deserved it."
"He..." she trails off, shaking her head, "damn, that's intense."
"Yeah, I know," Buttons laughs a bit, "I think he's right though. I don't think we would ever have been as happy as we wanted to be with you around, as crappy as that sounds. I think he was right, I think you'll make me happier."
"And you're okay with that?" She asks gently. "You guys were together for almost half a year, Buttons, that's a long time. I don't want you to grow to resent me for this."
"First off, you could literally kill a person and I wouldn't resent you," he teases, causing the girl to laugh and his heart to soar, "and second off, I think it's going to be some time before my feelings for him go away completely; but if you don't mind, and if you want this, then I'm all in."
She kisses him again, quickly and chastely but enough to bring a smile to both of their faces.
“I’m all in,” she teases, ruffling his hair, "I still feel bad for Noah. I think I'll call him later, make sure he knows I know and appreciate what he did."
"You both are too kind for your own good," Buttons smiles, "I didn't deserve him, I don't deserve you."
"Benjamin Davenport," she shakes her head, placing both hands on his cheeks so he locks eyes with her, "you deserve every ounce of happiness the world has to offer. And if you'll let me, I'd like to be the one to give you as much of it as I can."
Buttons kisses her again, sweet and slow and passionate. In that moment, there was no such thing as sadness; and for as far as Buttons was concerned, there would never be anything remotely sad in his life again.
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