Darcy/Tony/Pepper "Being out of condoms doesn't eliminate sex, it just elimnates some things on the sex menu"
Read it on AO3 here.
“Being out of condoms doesn’t eliminate sex, it justeliminates some things on the sex menu.” whined Tony. He, Pepper, and Darcywere wrapped up in the cream colored sheets, such a tangle of limbs that it wasa lot easier to just get comfy where they were than try to untangle themselves.Pepper smiled indulgently but Darcy went suspiciously quiet. Pepper, everkeeping an eye on the newest addition to their relationship, turned to heryounger girl and stroked her hair back from her forehead,
“What is it, Darcy? Something’s wrong.” Pepper stated.Darcy shrugged and couldn’t quite meet either of their eyes. She’d been in apolyamorous relationship with her coworkers/bosses for almost a year and ahalf, but there was one topic they hadn’t yet broached and Darcy was afraid tobring it up. They were all so happy, riding the post-orgasm wave of bliss. Itwould be a shame to bring it up now, but Pepper had asked and Pepper could getlike a dog with a bone when someone tried to keep something from her. Tony waseven worse if he took an interest. Darcy sighed and nuzzled closer to Pepper,who draped an arm around Darcy’s shoulders. Darcy said quietly,
“There is one instance in which being out of condomsdoesn’t eliminate anything from the sex menu.”
“What, barebacking?” Tony asked. Darcy shrugged.Pepper stroked her elegant fingers up and down Darcy’s naked arm,
“Do you want to skip the condom, Darcy?” she asked.Darcy didn’t answer. Tony seemed utterly confused, but Pepper seemed to havecaught on to why Darcy was being so quiet, “Darcy,” she said slowly, liftingDarcy’s chin to have the younger woman look her in the eye “do you wantchildren? Is that what this is about?” Tony made a vague noise of surprisebehind them and moved so he had an arm slung around Pepper, looking at Darcyfrom over Pepper’s shoulder. Darcy hesitated, then nodded just a tiny bit. Pepperand Tony both smiled at her,
“Darcy, we want kids too.” explained Pepper. Darcy lookedat the pair of them suspiciously. Tony nodded,
“We do. It’s just…”
“I can’t have children.” said Pepper and it was evidentthat there was still pain in her voice. Her smile was too tight when she saidit. Darcy hugged Pepper a little closer and looked at the both of them,
“So, you guys are okay with having kids? Like mecarrying them and then we all raise them with soccer tournaments andself-defense classes and stuff?”
“Darcy, we want to. I promise. We didn’t bring it upbecause we thought you might want more time to be not-a-parent.” said Pepper.Darcy smiled,
“When we first got together, I would have. But by now,now we’re good.”
“Good.” Tony reached over Pepper and hugged both ofthem. It was a wonderful moment, the three of them cuddling and close. Tonypiped up,
“Well, glad we got that sorted out. But the night is soI suggest we get cracking.”
A/N: What if Pirates of the Caribbean had dragons?
Of all the professions available to a young lady of a certain social standing, dragon riding was not the most commonly accepted. Still, that didn’t stop Elizabeth from standing on her balcony every morning to watch the day’s patrols take off. When she was younger, her father had fondly indulged her fantasies and make-belief stories and play-times involving a dragon riding heroine saving the land from an evil oppressor, but as she grew older and the dragons stayed at the forefront of her mind, Governor Swann did his best to gently lead her toward hobbies more becoming of her station, such as embroidery or if she was going to be an especially daring member of the upper crest, caring for the sick. Elizabeth smiled a smile that didn’t reach her eyes and did what he asked because she loved her father and didn’t want him worrying. However, that didn’t stop her from rising early and staying up late to watch the dragons come and go. Each night, in the privacy of her own mind, she wished she could be out there too.
Of course, the occasion for her to join the reptiles in flight came to pass at the most unexpected time.
A friend of the family, Captain James Norrington, soon to be Commodore, was to be promoted to the leader of the daily patrols. The celebration was to take place at the landing platform, a place Elizabeth hadn’t been permitted to visit since she was a fanciful child. As she dressed for the day, shooing her maids away with the excuse that today she could dress herself thank you very much, Elizabeth put on tight-fitting breeches beneath her dress and slipped a purse of coins into a pocket beneath her petticoats. Today the Commodore was being promoted, and today Elizabeth was running away.
The ceremony was grand, of course. Elizabeth wasn’t afraid to admit that she had barely spared a glance for the guest of honor, instead taking in the dragons lining the courtyard. Great beasts twice as tall as any man with wide wings, coming in all shapes and colors. Norrington’s dragon, Interceptor, was a grand red dragon, neck extended and poise regal as he observed his human. Green dragons and blue dragons and dragons with mixed color scales stood all around. But there was one off in the distance that caught her eye. The only black dragon in port, not paying any mind to the ceremony. Rather, it was watching the sky, not truly sightseeing as it was obviously looking for something in particular. Elizabeth knew that it was that one she would leave on.
As the ceremony concluded and everyone stood around chatting and congratulating the new commodore on his promotion. Elizabeth waited until no one was looking at her, then slipped into the shadows. There was a small nook in the walls, unnoticed unless you were trying to hide, that Elizabeth stepped into and quick shed the dress. She was glad of her lack of corset and pulled a cap over her head, hiding the elaborate coif of light brown hair. She put her pouch of coins into her pockets and stepped out, no longer Elizabeth Swann, noticed by many, but an unnamed rider just learning the trade. She didn’t run so much as walk with a purpose away from the gathering, toward the beautiful black dragon she’d seen. As she walked, Elizabeth marveled at how a few simple changes utterly altered everything. The lack of dress meant that she was less noticed. The lack of petticoats meant it was so much easier to move without trying to accommodate the extra width of the fabric. The entire outfit was cooler as well beneath the hot summer sky.
She reached her destination uninterrupted and Elizabeth was finally near the black dragon. It was only then that her courage started to flag. She’d done all the reading she could about how best to approach a dragon, how to request a ride. They were old creatures and thus prized manners. Offending it early in their meeting with accidental rudeness was not a chance Elizabeth was willing to take. She squared her shoulders and stepped forward. The dragon did not notice her. Elizabeth bowed,
“Oh great dragon, I request an audience with yourself.” she said. There was a snicker behind her,
“Lord, I haven’t heard that formal of a greeting in ages. Have you ever actually met a dragon before?” Elizabeth whirled around to find a man leaning against a tall rock, wearing the hardened black leather of a rider. Elizabeth tried not to show how unnerved she was not to have noticed him,
“No I have not, but I was clearly trying to. If you’re not going to be useful, you may leave.” she said. The man laughed and pushed himself off the rock and walked toward her,
“Well, I wish you luck with Pearl. She barely talks to me half the time.”
“Jack, that’s because the other half you’re slobbering drunk and utterly incomprehensible.” The dragon said as it finally stopped scanning the sky and instead brought its long neck around until it was able to fix Jack with a bright blue judgmental eye. Jack shrugged,
“You’re not wrong.” he said. Elizabeth the whole exchange with interest. She’d always known dragons to be fearsome stoic beasts that believed in manners and had very few personal connections to humans. Pearl, it seemed, was the exception. Elizabeth cleared her throat and rapidly readjusted her plan,
“What would it take to book passage off of Port Royal?”
“’Book passage’? We aren’t a passenger pair, miss.” Elizabeth was opened her mouth to protest being called ‘miss’ as it ruined her disguise, but the rider anticipated her comment, “And don’t tell me you’re a lad. There are some attributes of a woman that aren’t as easily hidden by a loose shirt as one might think.”
“I can pay you to take me.” Elizabeth said, reaching into her pocket. The rider eyed her for a moment, then looked at Pearl,
“What do you say?” he asked. Pearl eyed Elizabeth and she did her best not to fidget. It was a terrifying thing to be the sole subject of a dragon’s attention. Pearl thought about it, then said in a voice that implied a smile,
“I think we can make an exception for this particular female.” Jack grinned and Elizabeth pulled out her pouch,
“How much?”
“Where are you going?”
“Wherever I can become a dragon rider that isn’t here.” she said. Jack was about to voice a sum but Pearl interrupted him,
“No charge.”
“Pearl—“ whined Jack. Pearl nudged him gently with her snout, making him stumble just a bit from the force of it,
“She is a young lady in need of assistance. Surely there’s some gallant part of you positively shaking with excitement to be a knight in shining armor.” Pearl said. As the rider put the saddle on her, he grumbled,
“I thought the knight was the one who always slayed the dragon for the princess, not saddled it.”
“I’d like to see you try.” said Pearl, sharply exhaling a bit of smoke. It took Elizabeth a second to realize that was a laugh. Everything was happening so quickly. Honestly, she hadn’t truly expected to even make it out of the ceremony. As if summoned by her thoughts, she heard a commotion start up where she had left her father and the rest of polite society. They must have discovered her abandoned dress. Jack looked out and Elizabeth interrupted his curious perusal,
“I’m on a bit of a schedule.” she said. Jack looked at her, using his head to nod toward the commotion,
“They looking for you?”
“If we leave before they get here, it won’t matter.” Elizabeth said, already stepping forward and trying to figure out how one exactly got onto a dragon. It was significantly different from a horse, that much was certain. Jack sighed exasperatedly and grabbed her around the waist, ignoring her squawk of dismay, and set her on the saddle before climbing up in front of her. He clenched his legs as best he could around Pearl’s back and wrapped his hands in the leather straps at the front of the saddle,
“Hold tight to me, lovey.” he said. Elizabeth wrapped her arms around his waist tightly. Pearl moved from lying on her belly to a crouch and with a great whoosh of air, lifted them up into the sky. As Elizabeth sailed far from everything she’d ever known into a sky bright with sunlit possibilities, she wanted throw her arms wide and laugh with the exhilaration of it. She was free.
