back on tumblr in my fucking 30's. i'm using this as the dump for all the stuff i won't post on my substack & also for me to be hellish about my love for hannibal & whatever i like
also using this to bully myself into finishing my long standing fic
It was a heady, humid day when the Valeska twins first snuck into the Hall of Mirrors by themselves.
The day had been a wet one, a ferocious outpouring of rain spilling from the clouds that menaced in the sky and the sun blotted out by a steel grey. The heat had remained though, due to the nature of summer and as such Lila Valeska was lying on a rickety sun chair, in the middle of the day, an umbrella stuck into the ground to prevent her from getting soaked if the heavens decided to crack open again. She stretched and heard sounds from inside the trailer behind her, causing her to scowl.
“Stupid fucking brats,” she thought to herself, “always getting in my goddamn way! Can’t a woman drink a little in peace around here?”
A little in Lila’s case was around 2 and a half bottles of the strongest anything she could get her hands on, and for the most part of the day she drank in peace. However, a minute or two after she’d decided to rest on outside, Jeremiah, her oldest - or was he younger? She could never remember- slipped and fell on the trailer steps. He was trying to get outside to count how many cars were on the Ferris wheel as it went around and round again, the lights flickering brightly against the dark sky. Because he was only a small child, or in Lila’s opinion a little brat, he promptly burst into tears. He was far too noisy, and as such Lila abandoned the deckchair, rising and slapping him across the face. This only made him cry louder and Lila began to throw punches, in her drunken attempt to make her child shut the hell up.
The unmistakable sound of his brother being abused brought Jerome outside, who attempted to shove Lila away. He was no match for the weight of a fully grown woman however, and he slipped, nearly cracking his head on the concrete paving at the bottom of the steps.
All of this seemed terribly amusing to Lila, who was floating somewhere between her abusive drunken state and her abusive sexually promiscuous state, so she threw back her head and laughed. An ugly laugh, tinged with malice and whiskey, showing her bright white teeth she’d paid $300 for and driving Jeremiah, who she’d paid around $50 on in his whole life, to leap up - and bite his mother hard on the hand. After the first bite, the tiny redhead didn’t stop there. Jeremiah clawed, scratched and bit while Lila let out a series of high-pitched squealing noises, unable to pull back as her child kept his iron strong and hateful attack focused on her.
Jerome, nursing the headache he had sustained from falling, wondered if this time Lila was going to finally be taught a lesson, as it seemed as though Jeremiah was about to bite her whole hand off. But just as the small redhead let his hopes up, he saw the main figure of his nightmares stalking towards the trailer, and those hopes promptly perished.
“What is the fucking meaning of this?” shouted the burly aggressive figure, known only to Jerome and Jeremiah as the Snake Man, “What the hell do you think you’re doing, boy?”
Jeremiah instantly dropped hold of his mother’s arm. He too recognised the voice and his heart sank into the ground, burying itself 6 feet deep. He turned around slowly, his thin frame trembling, only for Snake Man’s fist to make solid contact with his face. The punch stung viciously, and he fell once again, but only this time onto the ground with a sickening crack noise.
Jerome screamed in horror, but was instantaneously smacked by Lila, and the cry turned to a whimper. He stared disbelieving at the twitching figure of Jeremiah, who was whining faintly, his leg dislocated at an unnatural angle. A gash had formed where his glasses had cut into his face, a small trickle of blood dripping slowly down, mixing with the rainwater on the ground.
“Babe,” drawled Lila petulantly, giving Jeremiah’s fragile body a kick in the ribs to check if he was still alive, “why’d ya have to go and do that? Now I gotta pay for the brat’s knee to be put back in, or whatever.”
“Never mind him,” Snake Man dismissed, “I heard you got yourself some good liquor in.”
At this, Lila grinned wickedly. “Yeah, well maybe that’s true. What do you want if it is?”
Snake Man’s arm wrapped itself around Lila’s waist predatorily, and Jerome held back the sudden need to throw up. “I was thinking maybe we could get really drunk... and maybe do something fun?”
Lila threw her arms around his neck and purred. “What counts as fun for you then, handsome?”
Pulling his regular hook-up a little closer, the snake tamer hummed a creepy low “You, baby” which caused Lila to burst into a fit of giggles.
“Why don’t we go and do that then,” she chuckled, before turning an ice-cold glare on Jerome. “Take care of your useless brother, d’ya understand?”
“I don’t know, I really think he needs a hospital- “Jerome began to protest but the words died in his throat when his mother raised a fist into the air as a warning.
“Do not test my patience, you wretch,” Lila hissed, “Now. Do. You. Understand?”
Jerome nodded weakly. “Yes ma’am.”
“Fine,” Lila allowed, lowering her hand and turning back to Snake Man. “C’mon, honey, we’ve got a lot to do,” she hummed, and with that, the two abusers turned and entered the trailer.
Jerome waited until the door to the trailer had completely shut, before scrambling to pick his brother up off the ground. His haphazard attempt elicited a few suppressed groans from Jeremiah, who knew that if he shouted out, he would only have to face the wrath of Lila again.
The two stumbled to their feet, with Jerome’s arms wrapped tightly around his brother’s waist for support. “Where do you wanna go?” Jerome started, looking over his shoulder at the trailer, “Cause I really don’t wanna stay here.”
Jeremiah took in a few shallow gasps of air, before murmuring, “The hall of mirrors. You’re going to need one if you’ve got to put my leg back in place.”
Jerome frowned worriedly. “I dunno if that’s such a good idea, what if I end up making it worse? That’s what mom says I always do.”
“Nobody else is going to help us Jerome. C’mon. It really hurts, please!” Jeremiah begged, his white face turning paler by the second and Jerome sighed.
“Okay, just hang on- “
“Agh- “Jeremiah’s face contorted as he hobbled forward, Jerome’s hands around him the only thing keeping him upright as he fought the need to fall and scream in agony.
The two passed the bright red circus tent and the stalls selling food they’d have to steal scraps of later, until they reached the large neon sign proclaiming “House of Mirrors! See into your past! See into your future!”
Jerome pushed the vinyl sheet that posed itself as a door out the way, and the twins entered a hallway decked with shining mirrors. Their reflections gazed back at them - two small redheads, one with a visibly dislocated leg and both with bruises littered over their faces.
Jerome led Jeremiah forward through the mirror maze, until they reached a room where he felt that nobody was likely to walk into. Gently, he helped Jeremiah onto the ground, avoiding touching his sore leg.
Jeremiah gestured to Jerome. “I need you to put in back in.”
“How?” Jerome asked, equally disgusted and intrigued by the way his brother’s arm twisted at an angle. “What do I have to do?”
“I read about it in once, in a book someone left behind the tent. You gotta grab my leg with both hands and twist it the right way, pushing down, I think. You’re not supposed to, but Lila will kill us both if we call an ambulance.”
Jerome wrapped his arms around Jeremiah’s leg, which was incredibly tense. “Hey, Jeremiah, why don’t cannibals eat clowns?”
Jeremiah’s face screwed up in confusion. “Jerome, what? Just put my leg back in place!”
Jerome pouted. “C’mon! Just ask me why!”
“Okay then. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?”
Jerome grinned. “Because they taste funny!”
Jeremiah stared at his brother, until he began to laugh. “Jerome that is such a stupid jo- “
Taking advantage of his brother’s distraction, Jerome pushed and twisted down on Jeremiah’s leg.
Jeremiah screamed loudly. Jerome began to panic.
“Oh god, did I do something wrong? I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to! Can I fix it?”
Jeremiah shook his head. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It just really, really hurt. I hope there’ll be no permanent damage,” he grimaced, running his fingers over the hopefully relocated joint.
“Okay,” Jerome sighed in relief, before slouching down onto the ground. A few minutes passed in silence, Jerome fiddling with his own fingers, until he turned over to face Jeremiah. He found his twin staring intently into one of the floor length mirrors, one hand extended forward, as if he expected his own reflection to reach out and touch him.
“Jerome,” he began.
“Yeah, Jeremiah?”
“Do you wonder what you’ll be like when you grow up?”
Jerome blinked. “Sometimes, I guess. Why?”
“Do you think we’ll turn out like Lila?”
The sentence shot a chill down Jerome’s spine. He’d never admit it, but becoming his mother terrified him more than anything else. She was truly his worst nightmare. “No way.”
“Are you sure? Because, when I look in the mirror sometimes, I see her looking back at me. Her eyes. Her grin. Plastered across my face, and I can’t get it off.” He swivelled and looked at his brother. Tears were welling in his eyes. “I don’t want to be like her, Jerome.”
A beat passed, one that hung heavy in the air like the heat outside, until suddenly Jerome wrapped his arms tightly around Jeremiah, hugging him close.
“You’re never going to be like her, Miah. She’s a bad person. She’s evil and vindictive and – and you’re good, Miah,” he whispered to his brother, burying his face against Jeremiah’s threadbare cardigan. “You’re great Miah, and you’re nothing like mom.”
Jeremiah weakly smiled against Jerome’s arms, and reciprocated the hug equally as hard. “You’re great too, Jerome. And Lila’s wrong. You don’t mess everything up.”
They held each other for a little while longer, in a rare moment of sibling solidarity, until Jeremiah pulled back.
“Do you wanna be in the circus like Lila, though?”
“Nah,” Jerome said decidedly, “I want to be a solo act. Maybe stand-up comedy if I ever leave this place.” He looked at his own reflection and saw himself as a grown-up dressed in a good suit, telling jokes to an unseen crowd who were roaring with laughter.
“Makes sense. You’re good at making people laugh.”
“Gee, thanks Jeremiah. What about you?”
Jeremiah studied his reflection again. He could see the Ferris wheel and the carriages he was trying to count as they went around and round. As soon as they finished a rotation, they morphed into a gleaming rail system. He could imagine all the parts in expert detail, and himself standing and watching as his work helped the daily commuters of Gotham city.
“An engineer. I like knowing how thinks work and I really like putting things together. And taking them apart again.”
“Alright. What about getting married?”
Jeremiah gawped at Jerome. “What do you mean, marriage?”
“I dunno,” Jerome responded, awkwardly pulling at his shoelaces, “I was just thinking. Mom never got married and I don’t think I want to be either.”
“So, you won’t be in a relationship then?” Jeremiah pushed, now curious about his brother’s opinion.
“No, I think I’d like to meet someone. I just don’t want to be married. Too much fuss and it’s only some paper,” Jerome shrugged.
“I want to get married.”
Jerome looked surprised. “Really? You always seemed so, an- ane- anel- “
“Analytical? I suppose,” Jerome conceded, “but I’m a bit of a romantic at heart.” His face took on a dreamy look as he spoke. “I want a big wedding. A proper one with lots of flowers, and a big cake. I want you there, obviously, and a huge reception too. You can do stand-up if you want, and it’ll be a nice cool night, with loads of stars out.”
“And you’ll want a pretty wife in a wedding dress?” Jerome interjected.
“Uh! I-I don’t know.”
Jerome grinned “or a handsome husband in a nice suit?”
“Maybe...” Now Jeremiah looked embarrassed.
“Thought so!” Jerome teased.
“Well, what about you?” Jeremiah retorted, still blushing. “What type of person would you want to marry?”
Jeremiah shrugged. “I don’t really care. It’s not important to me. As long as they’re fun and they care about me.” Another moment passed.
“Do you think Lila would mind?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, because I’d prefer to marry... And because you don’t care either way. Would she get upset?”
“I don’t care what mom thinks,” Jerome spat, his voice suddenly slipping into an unknown raw anger. “Her opinion is worthless. She’s just a stupid fucking- “His voice stopped when he realised how livid he was. His hands were shaking, his face was hot with rage and Jeremiah was gaping at him in shock. “I’m sorry, I just- “
“No, I get it,” Jeremiah returned. “She’s the worst.”
Jerome cracked a lopsided smile. “Yeah. She’s the worst. How’s your leg now?”
“Still stings awfully, but I’ll get over it.”
“Okay. I’ll see if I can get you any medical supplies for when it’s healing.”
Ano ang iyong sariling pagpapakahulugan sa pagbabago (change) at pagkilos (action)? Ipaliwanag ang iyong sagot.
Sa paanong paraan naging malinaw ang konsepto ng IDU sa iyo? Anu-ano ang mga nakatulong sa iyo para lalo mong maunawaan ang mga konsepto o kaisipang ito?
Bigyan mo ng puna o komento ang mga naging gawain ng klase at pangkat. Alin sa mga ito ang nagustuhan mo at alin sa mga ito ang dapat pagbutihin sa susunod.
Sa iyong palagay, sa anu-anong sitwasyon mo magagamit ang iyong natutunan sa gawain ng IDU?
Para sa akin, ang pagbabago ay isang personal na paniniwala sa paggawa ng tama. Sa aking maliit na paraan, ang pagbabago ay makakamit kung ako ay isang mabuting miyembro ng aking komunidad (ang Beacon Academy) at ang aking lipunan. Maari akong maging mabuting miyembro ng Beacon Academy sa pamamagitan ng pagiging serioso sa pagaaral, mabuting kaibigan, at aktibo sa mga aktibidad sa paaralan.
Sa aking palagay, hindi kailangan na maging isang aktibista sa kalsada upang magkaraon ng mabuting pagbabago. Sa akin, ang mabuting pagbabago ay na makakamit kung bawat isang miyembro may pagnanais at kanyang-kanyang kontribusyon sa kabutihan ng komunidad.
Sa aking panood ng pelikulang Sister Stella L., naunawaan ko ang pakikibaka, kahirapan, at kakulangan ng katarungan ng mga ordinaryong manggawa sa pabrika. Bago ako nanood ng pelikula, akala ko na ang mga tao ay may katarungan at ang manggagawa ay binabayaran ng sapat na sahod at kapapangalagaan ang kanilang mga karapatan. Ako pala ay nagkamali. Sa tunay na buhay, marami pala ay naaapi at nasasamantalang dahil sila ay mahirap at walang boses sa lipunan.
Dahil sa aming pananaliksik bilang isang grupo, luminaw and konsepto ng IDU sa akin. Ang aming grupo ay magkaisang nagdesisyon na ang aming tatalakayin ay ang isyu ng pagmina ng karbon sa Pilipinas. Pinagbigyan taon namin ang mga negatibong epekto ng pagmina sa kalikasan at sa mga buhay ng mga tao. Ang mga maliliit na minahan ay mapangsamantala sa mga trabahador sa pamamagitan ng pagbayad ng maliit / hindi sapat na sahod. Ang mga trabahador ay napipilitan magtrabaho sa mga mapeligrong kondisyon na walang tamang kagamitan para sa kanilang kaligtasan. Dahil dito, ang mga manggagawa ay napagsasamantalahan dahil sa kanilang kahirapan. Ang kalikasan ay nasisira dahil sa pagputol ng mga punong kahoy at ang pagtapon ng mga basura ng pagmina sa kapaligiran.
Naatasan kami sa IDU na ito na maipahayag ang kahirapan, ang kakulangan ng katarungan at ang pakikibaka ng mga Pilipino sa kanilang buhay dito sa Pilipinas. Pinili ng aming grupo na gumawa ng isang kanta tungkol sa pagmimina ng karbon. Ang ibang grupo naman ay pinili ang paksa ng EJK, kahirapan, atbp.. Ako ay natuwa sa grupo nina Marc, Andres, Blaine at Santi. Mahusay nilang naipakita ang pagkawala ng katarungan ng EJK sa pamamagitan ng isang rap song. Naitukoy nila ang pagkawala ng katarungan dahil sa walang pusong pagpaslang ng mga hinalang adik pati na din ang mga bata. Naipakita din nila ang mga mukha at pangalan ng mga pinatay na bata. Matindi ang epekto nito sa akin. Naramdaman ko ang pagsawalang pagpapahalaga ng mga pulis sa buhay ng mga Pilipino. Nabuo ang aking paniniwala na dapat matigil na ang EJK.
Ang IDU na ito ay nagturo sa akin na ang mga suliranin ng komunidad ay maaring mabigyan solusyon sa ibat-ibang paraan. Bilang miyembro ng kabataan, mahalagang maintindihan ko ang mga isyu sa ating lipunan. Ang aking pagkakaintindi ay dapat kong ipamahagi sa aking mga kaibigan at pamilya. Mayroon din akong responsibilidad na maging isang mahusay na miyembro ng aking komunidad na matulungin sa kapwa at may pagmamalasakit sa kabutihan ng karamihan. Ang pagkakainitndi at ang pagmamalasakit sa kapwa ay ang magbibigay inspirasyon sa akin na patuloy na pag-aralan ang mga problema sa lipunan at maging bahagi sa mga solusyon kapag ako ay nagtratrabaho o may sariling negosyo.
Pumili ng dalawang linyang sinabi ng isa sa mga tauhan sa kwento at ipaliwanag ang iyong pagkakaintindi. Ipaliwanag mo rin kung bakit mo ito napili.
Sa huling bahagi ng pelikula, nagsalita si Sister Stella Legaspi ng sumusunod na linya: “Narito na ako ngayon, sa gitna ng pangyayari. May konting nadagdag sa kaalaman at pag-unawa, pero patuloy na nagaaral at natututo. Hindi na nanonood na lamang. Kundi nakikiisa sa pagdurusa ng mga hindi makaimik. Nakikiisa sa paglaban ng nagdurusa. Tumutulong sa abot ng aking makakaya.”
Inulit rin ni Sister Stella L. ang sinabi ni Ka Dencio na “Kung hindi tayo kikilos, sino ang kikilos? Kung hindi ngayon, kailan pa?”
Napili ko ang sinabi ni Sister Stella L. dahil para sa akin, napakahalaga ng kanyang sinabi. Natauhan ako sa pangangailangan na tayong lahat ay may pananagutan na manindigan para sa katarungan kahit na ito ay mapanganib at mahirap. Ang tunay na pagbabago ay makakamit kung ang bawat isa ay may taya at may tunay na pagnanais para sa kabutihan ng karamihan. Hindi lang sapat kung may kaalaman tungkol sa situasyon. Kailangan meron din kasabay na aksyon.
Magsaliksik kung kailan at anong bahagi sa kasaysayan, ginusto ng mga tao ng mga pagbabago sa kanilang mga nakasanayan. Alamin ding kung kailan nagkaroon ng matibay na konsepto ang mga tao tungkol pagmamahal sa bayan. Pwede mong gamiting halimbawa ang nakita mo sa pelikulang Sister Stella L.
Noong panahon ng Batas Militar, nawalaan ng kalayaan ang mga taong bayan na magpahayag ng kanilang pananaw, damdamin, at opinyon lalo na kung ito ay tungkol sa pamahalaan ng pangulong Marcos. Marami ay nakulong katulad ni Ninoy Aquino dahil sa kanilang katapangan na ipahiwatig ang kanilang laban sa katiwalian at opresyon, pangmamalabis at kawalan ng hustisya ng mga Pilipino.
Dating pangulo Ferdinand Marcos
Noong 1986, magkatapos ng mahigit na dalawampung taon ng Batas Militar, ang mga karaniwang Pilipino ay nagpahiwatig ng kanilang pananais ng pagbabago sa pamamagitan ng pagprotesta sa EDSA. Hindi sila natakot na masagasaan ng mga tangke o mabaril ng mga subdalo dahil sila ay naniniwala sa kabutihan ng kanilang ginagawa. Sila ay naniniwala na kailangan nan g pagbabago sa lipunan at kailangan na rin maalis ang mga taong makatiwalian at mapang-abuso sa pamahalaan.
EDSA Revolution
Makikita ang ganitong situasyon sa pelikulang Sister Stella L.. Katulad ng mga karaniwang Pilipino, ang mga madre ay walang kapangyarihan at walang mataas na posisyon sa gobyerno. Subalit, sila ay naglakas-loob at nakibaka sa pamamagitan ng pagsuporta sa welga ng mga manggagawa. Kahit na mapanganib ang situasyon ng mga nagwewelga (sa pelikula, si Ka Dencio, ang pangulo ng union ng manggagawa ay pinatay dahil sa kanyang paninindigan) sila ay nagpatuloy ng kanilang laban para sa karapatan ng mga manggagawa.
Sister Stella Legaspi sa pelikulang “Sister Stella L.”
Anu-ano ang mga nakita mo sa iyong pagtira sa Pilipinas. Ikwento mo gamit ang mga larawan? Pwedeng tungkol sa paniniwala at tradisyon (customs and traditions), mga tao at kanilang pag-uugali (people and their attitudes), kakaiba sa lugar o sa mga tao (uniqueness of the place and/or people) at iba pa.
Pansinin mo kung may nakikita kang kahulugan (meaning) o ayos (pattern) sa iyong nakita. Ipaliwanag (explain) mo ito.
Boracay, isa sa mga pinakamagandang dalampasigan sa buong mundo
Ang Pilipinas ay isang magandang bansa na puno ng likas kayamanan at kagandahan. Sikat na sikat tayo sa ating mga dalampasigan, ang Rice Terraces sa Banaue, ang Chocolate Hills sa Bohol, ang Mayon Volcano sa Bicol, at marami pang ibang magandang lugar. Sinasabi na ang ating bansa ay isa sa mga umuunlad sa South East Asia.
Banaue Rice Terraces, kilala bilang “Eighth Wonder of the Word”
Chocolate Hills sa Bohol
Mayon Volcano
Tayo rin ay maraming problema tungkol ng trapiko sa mga langsangan, polusyon, skwatter, kahirapan, krimen, katiwalian sa gobyerno, atbp..
Metro Maynila
Subalit, naobserbahan ko na kahit mahirap ang buhay dito at puno ito ng hamon sa ating bansa, mayroon pa ring pag-asa sa puso ng Pilipino na dadating ang panahoon na giginhawa din ang buhay dito sa Pilipinas. Nakikita ko ang mga batang langsangan na halos walang damit, walang tsinelas, walang makain subalit busog sila sa kakatawa at matamis na ngiti. Nakakapagtaka ito para sa akin, at ako rin, kahit napakaraming summative na kailangan kong gawin ay nakakangiti pa rin at nakakasabi na ang buhay ay masaya at mabuti.
Ayon kay Dharel Placido ng ABS-CBN News, ang Pilipinas ay ang ikatatlong pinakamasayang bayan sa buong mundo base sa mga resulto ng Annual Global End of the Year Survey ng Gallup International organization.
