“Gently.” Byakuya instructs, his voice soft as the hand that stills your elbow with care. At his touch, you ease your posture, letting go of the inkstone finally, the tip resting against the edge of the well.
He looks away from his calligraphy for a moment as you sit down next to him, the amused look on his handsome face almost appearing to taunt you.
“Tired?” he asks. You don’t immediately answer, using the hand you didn’t grind with to reach for the array of sweet snacks he had prepared for you instead. Part of a stick of dango in your mouth, you shake your head at him.
“Then I hope you can continue to grind ink for me.”
Despite saying this, he’s set down his paintbrush as well, easing his sitting position so that his forearms rest atop his crossed legs. You watch him, chewing carefully, then pour more tea for the two of you.
Byakuya isn’t particularly talkative, even if he does speak more when he’s alone with you, but today you’re the one being unusually quiet. He notices, and the look he gives you is less appraising and more scrutinizing, even if he only looks at you with kindness.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
2 of 4 pieces of dango remain on your stick, the cherry blossom pink pieces eaten first.
“Nothing,” you reply. You’re lying. Blatantly.
Byakuya recognizes this, but does not immediately press you. Instead, his fingers tread between the fingers of your other hand, clasping his palm against yours. Despite his noble upbringing, even he has some texture to the bases of his slender fingers, as a result of sword training. You let him hold your hand in silence, chewing slowly.
There’s a lot you want to ask him.
Byakuya has been alone for a while, a widower not taking the time to entertain the droves of women who would have wanted to take his late wife’s place for decades. And then there’s you. Boldly - albeit only partially - filling the space that was unwillingly relinquished and highly coveted. Sitting by his side even in intimate moments like this, knowing what his genuine laugh sounds like, what paintings hang on the wall of his bed chambers, and how his hands are warmer than you would expect.
You are neither a noble of similar standing nor a poor soul from Rukongai on which good fortune can rain.
Does he ever think-
“Talk to me,” he asks, a plea phrased as a request.
“Do you miss her?”
The words slip out before you can reel them in, and you regret them immediately, like ink splattered over an exquisite portrait. For a moment you can feel Byakuya’s hold on your hand go limp but he doesn’t pull away.
“Her, as in?”
“Your wife,” you murmur.
He sighs. For a moment, his hand pulls away carefully and you feel like warmth drains from your very body but his arm wraps around your shoulders and pulls you closer.
“I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t. But even so, I look forward every day to new memories with you.”
A part of you wants to resist the calm reassurance, but Byakuya’s tenderness is hard to escape. He doesn’t kiss you, but he redirects your gaze to meet his, pressing his forehead against yours gently.
“Regardless of the past, I want to be with you,” he reminds you again.
Gray eyes convey that simple resolve. A few words, a few caresses, and you’re resting your head against his shoulder as he continues to paint characters; in gazing at those beautiful strokes of language, you consider penning a letter of your own, thanking him for choosing you, of all people to receive his love next.
What you don’t know is those same lovely strokes have already written his wedding vows to you, but that will be something only the future will hold.
byakuya togami x ultimate idol reader that won a daesang headcanons! requested by anon
cw: fluff, female reader
a/n: my boy byakuya back again hell yeah
byakuya togami who makes sure you know he’s proud of you for your award, but yeah he’s not letting you know he likes your music
byakuya togami who calls you “good girl” unironically when you add something he wanted you to add into your music and is annoyed when you laugh
byakuya togami who definitely expects atleast 1 track in every album to be about him and his company, he needs more fame after all (in his opinion)
byakuya togami who randomly drops some lines in French onto your music about people he doesn’t like and you have to scold him, saying “you can’t say ‘je deteste yasuhiro hagakure, c’est un idiot’ on my track!”
byakuya togami who teases you about your music a lot, but you know he doesn’t mean it (sometimes)
byakuya togami who is in charge of all your stage outfits, he knows his girlfriend
byakuya togami who’s very blunt about your fans, saying they’d be better if it was just a lot of him (your nightmare and dream)
an: thanks to @burnishedcrown for requesting her husband, Mr Kuchiki for the event. I enjoyed putting this together so I really hope you'll like it too! <3
starring: Byakuya Kuchiki x female reader
warnings: SFW, fluff, talk about not being deserving of love, a happy ending
now playing -
Byakuya was unaccustomed with expressing emotions openly.
He was getting better, with your help, but it was slow going. You didn’t mind, not one bit, not when you could see the changes happening in front of your eyes. The slow relaxation of his features when you were around, the tension that melted from his shoulders whenever you walked through the door and the icing on the cake—the subtle curve of his lips into a gentle, but small, smile.
It made you feel... special.
To Byakuya, that was exactly what you were, and one day he hoped to be able to express it without the tightness in his chest. For an articulate and well-educated man, the words seemed so far out of his reach that it was almost comical.
In his head he had composed entire sonnets about your beauty. Crafted prose that conjured imagery without compare. But when it came to admitting those feelings that had long since taken root in his heart, he stalled. Maybe he was not to be so lucky. Perhaps he didn’t deserve the chance to discover if the feelings were returned.
“I love you, my darling.”
It was almost exactly one year later, and the world was not like it once had been.
A picnic blanket lay spread out beneath a sakura tree, the blossoms in bloom and drifting lazily from the branches to adorn your hair as your head rested upon Byakuya’s lap.
His fingers entwined with yours and the smile he offered, whilst still not the biggest, was genuine and loving. Soft laughter lines crinkled the corners of his eyes and your heart fluttered at how lucky you had been.
“I love you more,” you retorted playfully, earning yourself an arching eyebrow from your soon-to-be husband.
Byakuya hummed in thought, glancing away to the view of his estate and the place you would both call home. “Not possible,” he offered quietly, “the tortures I endured just to be able to court you… they were true agony.”
“Hey now! I put a lot of care and effort into helping you open up, and it worked didn’t it?”
He chuckled, raising your hand to press a kiss to the fluttering pulse in your wrist. With a nod, you closed your eyes and settled back to enjoy the peak of the afternoon sun
It made your heart skip a beat at just how far you both had come. Smiling indulgently, you reminisced about those days when you would gaze out of your window and send your wishes to the horizon.
'Cause I'm in a field of dandelions
Wishing on every one that you'd be mine, mine
And I see forever in your eyes
I feel okay when I see you smile, smile
With the snow piling up outside, Byakuya was immersed in his seemingly endless duties. During storms, specifically, his headaches fog his brain and turns his thoughts to TV static.
“Bya-kun, would you like some soup? I was thinking since there's a storm and your headaches are usually—” your sentence is abruptly cut by him. “No, I don't feel like eating soup. I had some leftover lunch earlier, so I'm not hungry.”
“Oh, okay.” You say in a choked voice, hoping he didn't catch on. “If you need anything, tell me,” you add before you excuse yourself to the kitchen where you munch on some crackers and conclude it enough of a dinner.
◇◇◇
“I'm going to the store to get some groceries for tomorrow's dinner.” You tell him as you put on your shoes, having a feeling you're going to regret putting on a skirt in this weather. You've already been feeling drowsy because of your shrinking appetite this week, and the sands in the hourglass are running low until your period.
“What dinner?” This is it, you think. The last drop before the cup overflows from pent-up emotions. “Maybe if you talked to me once this week, you would've remembered.” You wish your voice were loud and assertive, rather than tittering at the edge of tears.
Byakuya doesn't even have time to respond before you walk out and shut the door. He slumps back on the couch, face in his hands, as he ponders over the past week.
Yes he was busy, overwhelmed, and exhausted, but he forgot he should've run to you instead of isolating. He felt like a fool, undeserving and unappreciative. But that doesn't mean he'll just sit idly by and excuse his behavior with a few words of remorse.
The first thing Byakuya does before following you is informing Rukia and Renji that the dinner has been postponed, and the second thing he does is run after you.
He finds you walking mindlessly in the middle of the snowy road, wiping at your eyes with the back of your hand; something that makes his heart drop to his feet. You hear footsteps behind you and turn around immediately with a gasp.
“Hey, hey, it's me, sweetheart.” You inevitably pout while trying to hold your tears back. “Why are you here, you should be resting,” you tell him, and his heart all but squeezes to a pulp.
Your eyes are red and swollen, face thin, and cheeks feverishly red, and yet, you're worried about him. “My blossom… I'm so sorry.” He sighs, head bowing in remorse, but eyes looking up to meet yours.
Byakuya is about to reach for your hand when you turn around and start sobbing uncontrollably, your control snapping and emotions floating like a bundle of balloons.
He immediately grabs your hand and reaches for your shoulder to turn you to him with the other. “Please don't cry, I don't like to see you cry.” This makes you sob even more, and Byakuya immediately regrets pushing you further.
“Sweetheart I'm so sorry I didn't mean to make you cry even more—” “So you still love me?” You hiccup as you wipe your tears and lift your face.
“I never stopped loving you, and I never will. Don't ever think that.” His hand cups your face, and you nestle into his hold as you sniff and try to calm down. “You're burning up too much. Let's get you home, and we'll talk when you're better, okay?”
Your head starts shaking in refusal, “No, I want to talk to you now,” your words start slurring, and Byakuya's face starts waving silly. “Byakuya, I think I—” and then you're almost a limp body in the snow. However, Byakuya immediately pulls you to him, wraps his coat around your body, and lifts you into his arms.
“Let's get you home, baby,” he whispers in your ear before dropping a kiss on your forehead.
“I'm okay.” You try arguing, in hopes of getting him to put you down. Your, obviously burning yet, trembling body coaxes tears out of him.
The after effect of disappointment in the redness of your eyes sets a weight on his heart as his lips curve downwards. “You're not okay, blossom. You're terribly sick. Let's get you to bed, yeah?” He drops a kiss into your hair, and the exhaustion makes you give up on arguing and slump against him; letting him hold you.
◇◇◇
Byakuya lays you down gently, taking off your sweater and putting you in a light t-shirt instead. Your pale hands grab the blanket hurriedly to cover yourself, but he takes your hands off it. “We need to bring your fever down. I'll get you some cold patches, okay? Stay here.” Without answering, you turn to your side, curling into a ball.
Byakuya stares as you tremble, lying down in a fetus position to try warming yourself up. The skirt is clinging to your thighs like a second skin, the little hairs on your nape and forehead sticking to your skin from intense sweating. Your pretty eyes are red and welled with tears, and lips swollen from sickness. And yet, he thinks how you look as gorgeous as ever. And the ravenette feels as guilty, as ever.
“I'm so sorry, blossom.” His hands ball into fists as he rushes out of the room and into the kitchen. He fills a small bowl with water and ice cubes, dipping the dark brown rug into it.
“Sweetheart, turn around.” He taps your shoulder, leaning forward to look at your face, only to find you asleep. Grabbing your shoulders gently, he flips you on your back, squeezing the rug of excess water and laying it on your neck.
He hears a small yelp as you shiver, grabbing at the sheets of the bed. Byakuya heads to the door, grabbing his keys and putting his jacket back on, while he waits for someone to pick up the phone.
“Yes?” The person from the other end of the line asks. “This is Byakuya Kuchiki, I'm calling to inform you that I'll be taking a few weeks off. Thank you.” The man doesn't even wait for an answer, immediately ending the call and heading to the pharmacy.
A few minutes later, you wake up to the sound of rattling keys. The patch had fallen off your neck, and you stand up to see what all the sound is about. “What are you doing getting out of bed like this?” The tall male is quickly by your side, his arms protectively gripping your fragile body.
“I'm fine.” You deadpan, not meeting his gray eyes that you love so much. “You're not fine, blossom. And I'm so sorry. I took a few weeks off.” He drops soft kisses on your cheek, “I bought you medicine and food.” His hand extends out to yours, and you hesitantly take it while staring up at him with a frown.
After laying you down again, he grabs you a cup of water and the bags he bought. “Here, some chicken porridge, and the medicine.” He puts them on a bed-table in front of you and opens up the food packaging. “Careful, it's a little hot.” He warns, blowing on the spoon as he lifts it to your pale lips.
His eyes soften as he looks at you, and he can't help but tuck the fallen strands behind your reddish ears while his thumb caresses your cheek gently. “You're so beautiful. You don't deserve what I did. I'm so--” “You can stop apologizing, love,” You put your hand over his, giving him a reassuring smile.
“Also, I'm full.” His eyes grow wide as he arches an eyebrow, “No. You have to finish all of this. So you can take your meds.” You shake your head slowly; scrunching up your nose.
“You will.” He states, dipping the spoon into the plate. “No.” You whine, but the man doesn't budge. Finally, you roll your eyes and part your lips, taking the food in while staring at him.
For some reason, it makes a small rush of chills rise on his skin. “Be glad you're sick, blossom.” At his raspy sentence, you start coughing lightly as you swallow.
“Here, your medicine.” He holds out the pill sheet and water cup. “Drink all the water, okay?” You nod, doing just like he told you.
His hand pats your head, ruffling your hair gently as he reaches for your hair tie. “Turn around, I'll tie your hair up, and then you can sleep.” Your heart tumbles, a warm smile etching on your lips as you twist around, your back to him.
“I'll prepare a nice bath for you when you wake up.”
He kisses your temple as he gathers the soft locks of hair. “Thank you, love.” A giddy smile falls on his lips as he taps your shoulder so you know he's done.
“Are you…are you going back to the barracks?” You sniff, trying stubbornly to get air into your stuffy nose. “No, I told you. I'm taking a few weeks off for you, blossom. So, front or back?” With a tired laughter, you lay on your side, “Back.” With a nod, he lies down behind you, pulls you to him and rests his chin above your head while his hands wrap above your chest and around your waist.
“I'm so sorry, _____.” Byakuya says once again, kissing your hair. “Mmm, it's okay. I love you. So much.” You put your soft hands over his as you assure him. “I love you. So much. My Blossom.” He whispers in your ear, and feels you shiver. It makes him chuckle, “Shh, get better soon first.” The ravenette teases as he presses another gentle kiss on the top of your head and pulls you closer.
Summary: You yearn to be at your husband's side in battle, but he thinks otherwise...
Silence, tension, and anxiousness has been reigning the Seireitei since Lieutenant Sasakibe Chōjirō's demise. Death reeked of the Soul Society, and its shadows are looming over the the three worlds.
In the grandeur yard of the Kuchiki Manor, you sit at the rim of the large pond of Koi fish, your feet are faintly in the water where the elegant fish are nibbling on your toes. Their slight kisses tickle your skin, giving you an odd feeling of comfort. For a moment, you wish to jump into the water and play with them, just you and some Koi fish under the silver glimmer of the moon. A silly giggle escapes your mouth when you imagine what your husband's reaction might be, to see his reverend lady wife messing around with his precious Koi fish. The Kuchikis take pride in breeding such rare species of fish, and Byakuya was greatly annoyed when their numbers decreased noticeably for unknown reasons. The ghost of Kuchiki Manor did it. That was the rumour among the staff, the one you personally spreaded it to cover for a certain little pink-haired troublemaker.
You bring your knees up to your chest, hugging yourself, eyes are still watching the fish sway and swim in the water.
Heaving a sigh, you shake your head forlornly. They were good days, good memories you're going to forever cherish them, for you know, nothing will be the same soon. You already miss the days when your biggest problem —and delight— was facing your husband's rage. The only one who could bring the best and the worst of him, his beloved wife.
You sigh again; when was the last time you saw him?
Given the current situation, every captain is to stay alert at their squad barracks, readying their forces to any surprise assault.
The Sixth Squad quarters aren't far from here. It wouldn't be much of a bother to pay your old home a visit, it crossed your mind plenty of times to go there. But no, you didn't, because your husband had practically forbidden you to visit the quarters after the Quincies declared the war. Idiot, you think. As though you'd listen to him. No, not anymore; you're not one of his subordinates any longer but his damn wife. It surely doesn't make you his equal, but still.
However, being married to one of the Great Noble Clans heads threw a handful of responsibilities upon your back; one of which is to stay strong, and act in his stead as the family head in his absence. And gods, you hate it. Teasing and defying the elders is one thing, and sitting at the same table with them and hear them nattering absolute nonsense is another whole thing. You wonder how Byakuya does it easily.
“Watching the Koi swim is more interesting than sitting with the elders, I suppose.”
A wide smile creeps into your mouth as you hear your husband's poised voice.
“Byakuya!” You stand on your feet and stroll down to him. “Missed you so much, baby!”
You don't miss the way he still cringes at the endearment you called him with. His ears haven't accustomed to it yet, a modern word from the World of the Living.
“I've missed you too, my love.” He says quietly, with that baritone voice of his, taking your hands in his. He squeezes your hands gently, brushing his thumbs to your skin.
You notice that he's still in his haori and full attire, you furrow your eyebrows. “Is everything alright back there, Byakuya?”
“Yes.” He answers, “Everything is conducting well, darling, worry not.”
“Any sign of the enemy?” You ask again.
“Not as of yet.” He says, “We do not think the enemy would stand by their words, however.”
“They could attack at any moment.” You mumble.
“Precisely.”
Gazing up at his smoky-grey eyes, you bring your hands up to his chest. “You know I still have the will to fight by your side like the old days, husband.” You say, “I can be more useful on the battlefield than behind these walls.”
Byakuya's face remains expressionless, his hands covering yours. “If you're asking me to join the troops again, the answer remains no.”
Your lips pucker up, your fists wring his fancy haori, “Then promise me you'd come back to me alive.”
Your husband falls silent.
“Swear it to me.” Your lean forward, eyes locking, “Now.”
“I'm afraid I can't.” He puts ice in his words, your eyes widen.
“Why so?” You fume.
“I've taken many vows upon myself, and I broke most of them. I cannot do it, not to you.”
He leaves you speechless, your hands let go of his fancy haori. You tear your face to the side for a moment before you face him again.
“Very well then,” You say stoically, your tone is peculiarly akin to his now, “Kuchiki Byakuya, my beloved husband, I forbid you from dying on the battlefield, and I bid you to come back to me alive and in one piece, and I swear, by all spirits, I shall unsheathe my zanpaktō and step into the fight if I sense you're in need of help.”
Your husband doesn't say anything. However, a very small grin slip into his pretty lips, and you give him a smile of your own.
They vanish, nevertheless, when you hear the alarm blaring throughout the Seireitei, announcing the arrival of the enemy, and you feel your heart drop to the tips of your toes.
“I must go.” Your husband states.
You rush before he shinpōes elsewher, and hug him tightly, shaky hands cupping his cheeks. “I swear it, I swear it, I swear it.” Tears pour down your cheeks, “You hear me?” Byakuya kisses your lips through your tears before his reiatsu disappears from around you.
After hours, flash-stepping among the bloodied corpses of your husband's soldiers, and in attempt to maintain your oath, you reach the spot his fading reiatsu led you to, to find yourself too late. Another broken promise; your husband is no different than the bodies surrounding him.
⁞ 𝐜.𝐰. ⁞ fem!reader, teen!byakuya, angst, fluff, master and servant relationships, teenage byakuya and he’s somewhat tsundere au
⁞ 𝐚.𝐧. ⁞ some unconnected scenarios of byakuya in his teen age. this had been lurking in my mind for awhile now so i really need to get them out
“byakuya-sama,” the said man merely glanced your way before loosening up from his sparring stance, lowering his wooden sword before wiping off the sweats on his forehead with his tekkou gloves.
you rolled out a checkered tatami mat by the cherry blossom tree, unboxing stacks of bento boxes and laid them out in an organized manner like how he'd like it to be. “i'd brought your lunch. please take a break for the moment.” you bowed lightly with a smile, stood up and waited by the side for him to take a seat.
byakuya nodded at you before letting out an exhausted sigh, sitting down on the mat with his legs crossed, eyes briefly scanning the luxurious meals before pausing at the piping hot mapo tofu.
you instinctively reached out with an open palm, offering to hold on to his wooden sword for him, like how you'd usually do. but he didn't hand it to you today.
or rather, byakuya snatched it away before you could take it, and simply plop it against the tree with a frown. you were startled by his sudden change of mood, unsure what had caused it, at the same time fearing that you may have offended the young master in any other way. no matter what it'd be, you'd still lowered your head as a sign of apology.
of course, your troubled expression never goes unnoticed by him, even if it's only there for a second. his frown only deepened, hands cupping the empty bowl and chopsticks but no sign of digging in yet.
“was the food not made to your liking, byakuya-sama?” your voice was small and brittle, like you were cautious of him. his slate gray orbs glides over to the corner in silence, watching your agitated eyes stray further away from him. despite his young age, byakuya never realized how intimidating he could be when he's quiet.
“you know,” his flat yet youthful voice spoke up, with a huff of annoyance followed behind. “you don't have to address me like that when we're alone,” he muttered with his face turned the other way, though just by looking at his back you could tell of his sullen mood.
byakuya is aware of his responsibilities, the need to uphold his image as the descendant of his clan. but still, he finds discomfort at the distance you'd have to keep up from him.
it's inevitable that he felt this way. for the both of you had spent hundreds of years, his entire childhood playing together.
kemari, hanafuda, kendama, or even something as simple as hide-and-seek. if it wasn't you, who else would indulge him in these commoners' games that he had no one to try with. and for that, he's forever grateful to have you as his companion while he still has the free time to relish in the joy of a child.
he understands those days won't last. for he now has the duty of the future heir to shoulder, he can only recount those memories in mind, eyes unable to cast away from the reality that there now exists a borderline of master and servant between you both.
“i'm afraid i couldn't comply with your wish, byakuya-sama.” he half expected those replies, but hearing it in person ground him from pointless anticipation.
hot steam still wafting off above his favourite mapo tofu, but his heart has simmered down along with swallowed disappointment.
byakuya vividly remembered the day he first met you, which his grandfather had assigned you to him on his fifth birthday. he was first skeptical of you. a child of the same age as him to be his personal assistant? can you even serve his tea with those chubby hands of yours?
he chuckled at the reminiscence of his childhood days again. tiny hands of your somewhat clumsily whisking him a cup of fresh green tea, to be served along with seaweed flavoured crackers for his tea time.
he'd be leisurely demonstrating his mastery in calligraphy, fine bamboo brush in his hand perfecting every stroke into the kanji of his name. “and this'd be byakuya. my name,” he adores the twinkle you'd had in your eyes for him, telling him how impressive it is to be able to write his own name.
pulling out another sheet of paper, he set them on his writing board, with two wooden blocks placed on top and bottom of the paper to secure it. “watch closely. i'll teach you how to write your name.”
his daydream got cut short by a couple of chattering noises, and amongst it he finds distinct giggles of yours that he'd been yearning to hear. he paused by the gate of the servant chambers, catching glimpses of your unfiltered smiles that hadn't cast his way for decades.
byakuya wondered when he'd taken the role of an outsider in your life, so much so you'd deprived him of your company and your warmth.
“leave. i can handle this myself,” his tone was calm, yet the irritation in his eyes was perfectly reflected in the mirror ahead.
you retracted your hand as your young master bunched up his hair into a makeshift ponytail with one hand, the other trying to string the red hair tie around it.
it’s a mess. you highly doubt he'd leave his quarter with such haste effort of a hairstyle. but nevertheless, you wordlessly stood up and made your way out, just as you're instructed to.
“so you'd leave if i told you to,” he uttered in petty sarcasm, with a breathy laugh followed after. the shoji door that you left it half opened sheds rays of dawn into his bedroom, and on his disheartened figure.
“then why won't you stay when i need you to,” his hands fell to his side, hair tie loosened by so much of a breeze and now his velvety strands of black stray along the wind with his head hung low.
byakuya wishes to snide at his unbecoming self. it's childish. it's bitter. it's none of the things his pride would condone. yet, his heart wavers at this unreachable distance.
a series of footsteps trudge against the tatami floor until it’s ultimately unheard behind him. he flinched as he felt his hair lightly pulled to the back, soft fingertips brushing past his scalps, combing it all together until he felt a tight knot secured it.
“i'll stay if you told me to,” he finally mustered up the strength to meet your eyes, but only through the reflection of the bronze glass. feeling the warmth of your hands on his shoulder, he clasp around your fingers and placed it on top of his heart.
“then, stay by my side.”
“don't run on the stairs, y/n.” he trudged up the concrete step, brows scrunching at your overly excited figure skipping a few steps ahead of him.
“but it's my first time at a fireworks festival,” you twirled around in grace, hands shyly hidden behind with your lips etching a small smile in meek fashion.
upon seeing that, byakuya could only sigh in defeat. well, he figured he could easily catch you if you ever fall, with the small of your back falling into his arms－
“oh my,” a booming voice emerged at the bottom of the stairs, which byakuya easily recognized out of dismay.
“byaku boy is having a date with his childhood sweetheart, y/n-chan!” yoruichi shunpoed to his side in the next second, laughing to her heart content with her hands on her hips before escaping in light speed.
you helplessly watched your young master shudder in anger, but the tint of pink plastered over his porcelain cheeks was rather entertaining to behold.
“stay right there, you cat monster! i'm gonna－”
“byakuya-sama－”
you didn't think someone could whip their head that fast, but today you think you’d just witnessed one. byakuya turns to you with his signature glare, and under the dim glow of lanterns he may look like he's pouting with slightly puffed cheeks.
“byakuya-kun,” you corrected yourself with a nervous smile, still not used to the idea of addressing him so casually. you extended your hand, intending to hold his but paused in the air, curling those fingers back in hesitation.
needless to say, you were overwhelmed. it didn't hit you how much different it would actually be to a step further. dropping formality is one thing, but coming to the realization that this refined young man is seeking a romantic relationship with you. it's a huge step to leap, a line that you wouldn't dare imagine to cross.
“the fireworks are about to start,” byakuya mumbled under his breath mindlessly, slate gray eyes avert to the cheers and crowd uphill. his voice distracted you for a moment before you heard the sharp whistle of a firework rang through the space.
you hitched when your eyes followed several ignited beams shooting up to the air, awaiting for them to hit the peak and gracefully spread into showers of sparks and glitter.
but byakuya couldn't be bothered by that. his eyes can only see you, observing flashes of color complimenting your features. he carefully laced his fingers around yours, feeling a blissful thump on his chest that tells him what love is.
byakuya took a deep breath with eyes closed, taking his time to cherish this moment, imprinting your angelic expression into his memories for the next hundreds of years to come.
an: im back loves! i have also just recently finished Bleach and let's just say I am obsessed! Byakuya is defo my top 5 fav Bleach men and here's a little something about him. he's so smexy i want him to obliterate and desecrate me with Senbonzakura heh. also this angst may not be that angsty idk but yuh lets go. dont forget to follow me on Tumblr and Wattpad. and share or comment :) enjoy!!
warnings: ANGST(heavy on the angst), death, blood, maybe cringy (reader calls him Byakuya-sama bcoz im obsessed w that idea even tho i dont typically write honorifics in my fics), Byakuya lowkey demanding and smexy (highkey smexy). i think thats all. lemme know if i missed anything :)
~~~
As head of the noble Kuchiki clan, Byakuya had his honor to preserve. Nothing and no one will be exempted if they dare taint his pride. With such a responsibility, he knew just as well that he had to live carefully, aware of each action of his in fear of ruining the sacred name bestowed upon him.
The only time he had ever let himself slip was when meeting his wife, Hisana. But it came to bite him back in the neck with the event of her death. And not fulfilling her dying wish was a taint in his honor.
He couldn't let that be.
So despite the objections of others, he sought the young girl called Rukia, only to find her thriving in the Academy. But that was it.
He wouldn't let anyone or anything else cause him a slip-up.
He wouldn't listen to his emotions.
Only to his pride and honor as the head of the noble Kuchiki clan.
That's what he promised himself.
But even the great Captain Byakuya Kuchiki couldn't foresee the future.
Maybe if he did, he wouldn't have decided to visit the pond in the Kuchiki mansion's compound on that day.
But because he couldn't, that's what he did when the morning sun had crept up the Soul Society's horizon. It was his routine, something to keep him in check as if a constant reminder that he was honorably trapped under the duties of the clan.
He was enjoying nature's morning warmth that relished over his skin. His white scarf wrapped softly around his neck, his hair held up with the kenseikan; all a reminder of his position.
And as a man with such responsibility, he's made it his duty to be well-informed regarding the staff at the mansion along with his squad members. With such knowledge, he was more than surprised to see your figure by the pond.
With his past days a routine cycle, he knew that no one would be there. Except on days when the pond demands a cleaning. But when it came to feeding the aquatic creatures, only he was responsible.
And his surprise didn't just come from seeing your figure perched over the edge. No, it also came from the fact that he had never seen you before. And the fact that you were wearing a black Shihakusho, indicated that you were, in fact, a Soul Reaper.
If you had business with him, a Captain, it would make sense for you to meet with him at his office. But certainly not the Kuchiki mansion.
So why were you there?
And who were you?
He knew each and every member of the staff that served his family and he knew each and every member of his squad.
So, who were you?
Your Reiatsu was average, not showing any signs of danger to him or anyone. You had your Zanpakuto in its case safely by your side. Your hands were knitted together at your back, your eyes almost void as you stared into the pond.
Your lips were relaxed, your mind focused solely on the peaceful way the fish swam in the water. And he could tell that you weren't aware of your surroundings when he finally made the decision to approach you.
Remaining his guard at a high level if in any case, you were an enemy infiltrating the clan. Your chest was heaving as you breathed at a calm pace. And for some reason, the fact that you immediately didn't notice him there made him feel rather, awkward.
For almost all his life, the mere feel of his Reiatsu would gain everyone's focus on him.
He's never had to make his presence known.
Still, what choice did he have?
"Who are you?" His words slipped out rather rushingly as if begging to be heard and acknowledged.
And sure enough, it did bring you out of your reverie. Eyes following the voice, you were met with the tall man, his grey eyes narrowed slightly. Realizing the identity of the man, your eyes widened and the upper half of your body immediately lowered into a bow of respect.
"Captain Kuchiki!" You let out.
"I asked you a question," he simply replied rather coldly.
"L/N Y/N! I've been assigned to the noble Kuchiki clan!" You informed briefly.
That's right.
He remembered the head of his staff at the mansion informing him of the new additions. And he remembered reading the names of said staff, thus remembering the name L/N Y/N somewhere in the documents he was given.
Right, you were meant to be the clan's new caretaker.
He didn't expect you to be so...
Young.
"My job is to serve the Kuchiki clan, Captain!" You added, your body still bent in a bow.
"Stand up straight," he ordered and you heeded his words. Eyes intimidatingly staring into yours, he said, "As a servant of the Kuchiki clan, you may call me Byakuya."
No, that was wrong.
What the hell?
It was supposed to be Master Byakuya.
Not just his given name.
That's much too familiar.
And you realized that with the way your eyes widened again.
"I'm sorry, Byakuya-sama, but I'm not really comfortable with that," you objected politely.
Now it was his turn to be shocked.
Though his eyes gave very little away.
At least you were smart enough to understand the difference between you and him.
"What are you doing here? As a caretaker, you have your own room," he simply let out, barely any emotions following.
Just as others had said, he indeed was a cold man.
"I was just admiring the scenery, sir. I'm sorry if it's out of line," you said, eyes on the ground.
He could tell how tense you were at the moment. Gaze glued to the grass-filled lawn, fingers fidgeting over your Shihakusho, and your shoulders were stiff. He supposed it was a greeting lacking warmth.
"It's alright," he said. "You can stay here."
Your body relaxed almost immediately. He could tell by your sudden confidence to look him in the eyes with the brightest pair of your own. A smile tainted your lips widely, showcasing your happiness.
"Thank you, Byakuya-sama!"
It was odd but he was fighting the urge to let the small grin creeping up his lips. Too used to his stoic act, he managed through it. And you stood there all the while he fed the fish in his pond, even offering to help him. But he was nowhere near interested to share his routine with anyone.
Though that soon changed the next morning when he saw you standing by the pond.
The same manner, the same spot.
And you were there again, morning after morning after morning.
You provided him a silent company day after day, he actually found it rather nice.
And you certainly enjoyed the mornings since you began your duty at the mansion. It was an honor to spend such moments with the head of the clan.
Since the 6th Division Captain was truly a strong man, he seldom fell victim to any sickness which rendered you useless since that was your job anyway. But when he did get sick, it would affect him terribly. In the past, it's happened before and sure, he'd always fight through it but it would take at least days if not weeks for him to get well.
That was why he was shocked to hear that he had been healed only overnight.
His eyes had opened to meet the view of his bedroom ceiling. On his right, perched on the floor was his adopted younger sister, Rukia. Her eyes feigned worry but such a sentiment dissipated the moment their eyes met.
"Brother, you're up," she chirped with relief.
"What happened?" He softly asked, voice heavy and tired.
"You got sick," the young girl answered.
"How long has it been?" He did not remember spending days lying down, being tended to.
"You got sick last night. You've been sleeping ever since Ms. L/N healed you. I should go get her," Rukia gasped, her hands about to push herself up but was stopped by Byakuya's fingers wrapped gently around her wrist. She turned, watching with worry as he got up.
"No need. I'll go find her," he said.
Despite his sister's objections, he went anyway. Searching for you, he walked to the one place he knew he'd find you.
Just as expected, you were standing by the pond.
A small smile had been drawn up your lips. It was not one Byakuya was estranged to. He'd seen it on you all too many times.
But for some reason, he never cared to have it wiped away from his field of vision.
He approached you and just like that day of your first meeting, you didn't care to notice him. But in contrast to that day, he didn't feel awkward or ashamed to make his presence known.
"Y/N," he called.
A voice so soft in the light of the darkened sky called upon you, how could you not turn? So you did, met with a rather loose picture of the man you were used to.
"Byakuya-sama," you softly smiled. "You're up. How do you feel?"
"Different," he answered, hesitant in his own voice as he scanned over his body. "What did you do to me?"
"I healed you," you frowned, confused at the question. "That's my job, sir."
Your answer was not enough for the man to have his questions satisfied. Taking slow and intimidating strides towards you, your body glued frozen to your spot. But you weren't scared.
"I rarely get sick. But when I do, it's terrible. It would take days if not weeks to heal me-"
"I know, Byakuya-sama-"
"Don't interrupt me!" He let out sternly but there was a slight hint of childish irritation.
"I'm sorry, Byakuya-sama," you mumbled gently, gaze falling to the ground while your hands fidget nervously.
"As I was saying," he continued, using a finger of his to hook under your chin, guiding your gaze to meet his under the starry night. "How did you heal me so fast?"
"It's my Zanpakuto's ability, sir," you answered promptly. His brows rose questioningly, a look of curiosity obviously flashing through his grey eyes. His lips remained still, the silence an offering for you to answer his silent inquiry. "It's the power to manifest things."
Processing your words, his mind began to work around to understand them. He got the gist of it but such a power seemed quite rare. He's never heard of anything quite like it.
"What is the name of your Zanpakuto?"
"Her name is Amaterasu," you answered with a smile, appreciative of his curiosity. "She's quite powerful but really quite useless in physical combat. If I were to join the Gotei 13, I might be of help in Squad 4 but other than that, I might have some trouble," you sheepishly shrugged.
"You keep referring to your Zanpakuto as her and she as if it was your friend. Why?" His tone sounded both confused and slightly condescending but you took no offence to heart.
You pondered your thoughts. You knew the answer to his question but you weren't sure if it was something you wanted him to know.
Especially with him just getting better from the sickness, you wouldn't want to trouble him with a sob story of your boring life. And it seemed as though he knew just how your mind works with the way he used his finger to bring your eyes to his again.
You hadn't even realized how close he had gotten. You wondered if he realized it too or not. Either way, his grey eyes bored deeply into yours, a certain sentiment you weren't sure of its origin taking place in his orbs.
"I asked you a question, didn't I?" He let out, a slight mix of gentleness and demand swirling behind his tone.
"R-Right, Byakuya-sama. I'm sorry," you mumbled. "It's because, to me, Amaterasu isn't just a sword," you sighed, eyes painted with nostalgic despair. At this, Byakuya's eyes widened slightly, losing the composure he was strongly holding. "She was my first friend," you said, biting your inner cheek with embarrassment. "I've always been alone but when Amaterasu was first awoken, well," you breathed out softly. "I could always talk to her. Amaterasu isn't just my weapon. She's my friend."
Byakuya watched as your lips gently curl up in an unknowing smile. But he knew that your smile was one different than what he was used to each morning. Tonight, at that moment, your smile had yet to reach your eyes. And your eyes still remained that sullen despair.
"Pathetic, aren't I?" You humorlessly scoffed, tears threatening to flood out of your eyes.
He didn't understand it at the moment or maybe he did but refused to believe it.
Either way, he didn't like that you'd think he'd say such a thing about you.
His hand under your jaw slowly lifted up your face. With your eyes meeting again, you couldn't help but get lost in his eyes.
The way his grey orbs held a glint of comfort that you were foreign to yet found yourself addicted to. And the way his hair was falling over his complexion, messy yet controlled despite not having his hairpins.
You could only let yourself be engulfed.
Still, you were almost all too aware, sensitive to the skin of his finger that sweetly caressed your cheek, eliminating your fallen tear in one fell swoop.
A small, barely audible gasp escaped your lips, surprised at his action. You wondered if he was aware but it seemed like he was. And maybe, in your heart, you secretly longed for this. For his comfort. For his touch.
Oh, aren't you just head over heels for your superior?
"Show me," he carelessly whispered. Your eyebrows twitched in confusion, allowing him to add, "Show me her ability."
"Wh-What?"
"I'm curious," he simply replied.
"Oh," you let out softly. "Well..."
More than the fact he could sense your hesitation, he could clearly see it. "It's an order," he added, causing you to frown.
"Does that not count as abusing your power?" You let slipped out, only realizing once the question ended. Struck by fear, your hands immediately clasped over your mouth as you gasped. "I'm so sorry, Byakuya-sama!"
You apologized over and over again. The sight of you in such a frenzy amused him. And maybe it was the late night's air or the aftereffects of his sickness but he couldn't hold back the chuckle he let out.
And by whatever God that was listening in to your heart's requests, you thanked them.
You thanked them for bestowing such a sound upon your ears.
Sure, your eyes displayed surprise but your heart swelled with warmth as the melody of his chuckle passed by your ears.
"Why are you so hesitant on heeding my wishes, Y/N-san?" His head was slightly tilted, eyes reached by that barely visible grin that you noticed tickled his skin.
"I just don't understand what you wish to see, Byakuya-sama," you replied hesitantly.
"I'm curious at how your Zanpakuto can heal others so quickly," he said simply.
"Well," you stammered, fingers going to scratch at the back of your neck. "It does not work on myself and I can't heal an injury if there is no injury."
His eyes narrowed as he took in your words, mind turning gears to reach a solution to fulfill his own request.
Well, no one said Byakuya was a man who easily gave up.
"I see," he hummed aloud. Shedding no warning, he took a step forward, almost too close in the distance between you two.
Widening eyes and stammering words, you gasped, "B-Byakuya-sama!"
Lacking any sense of hesitation, Byakuya's right hand held firmly on the hilt of your Zanpakuto. He unsheathed the sharp weapon from the case that hung by your side.
Too late for objections, the head of the clan slashed his left palm with the blade of your sword. Warm crimson-colored substance began to ooze out, staining the pale skin of his hand, ultimately falling to the ground, drop by drop.
"H-Have you lost your mind, sir?! This is not funny!" You let out, too shocked to even process his actions.
"You wanted an injury, now you have an injury," he simply said. Holding out his hand, he casually tipped his head, "Here. Heal me."
"Byakuya-sama!" You frowned. "You're crazy!"
"Maybe. But you shouldn't let your Master bleed, should you?" He rose a brow daringly, causing you to let out a scoff.
Letting out a defeated sigh, you took the sword from the man's hands. Gently, you gripped the hilt of the weapon with both your hands. You twisted it so the edge would face downwards as the hilt neared your lips. In a small whisper, you let out its command.
"Breathe, Amaterasu."
And Byakuya had no idea if he should look at you or your sword. But since this was all happening due to his curiosity, he decided to focus on the Zanpakuto's release.
He watched as the blade you held slowly dissipated into the light until even the handle was gone. Instead, both your palms were radiating the similar light that he saw earlier.
And it was like whatever God was there had granted him the slow-moving time to allow him to properly, truly watch you and your Shikai.
He knew the transformation was anything but slow.
But it seemed like the process was meant to purposely allow his view of each and every passing second.
Then, you opened your eyes and directed your palms to his wound.
As if time was intentionally moving slowly for the moment between you and him, he was intent on watching everything.
From the way your eyes had been lighted up by the radiance near your palm to the way his wound began to close, flesh regenerating due to the light you let out.
And soon, it was as if he had never cut himself.
You clasped your hands together again and closed your eyes for a moment. When they opened, your sword was already back in between your palms. You sighed, inserting it into the case. You looked up at the man, seeing how his eyes scanned intriguingly at his healed palm.
"It's an amazing power," he murmured, causing your cheeks to flush with heat.
"You didn't have to hurt yourself like that, Byakuya-sama," you lowly let out.
"I'm sorry for that," he apologized sweetly. "It was the only solution I can think of," he pursed his lips, letting his hand fall to his side. "Can I ask you something?"
"Hmm?"
"With such a powerful healing ability, why weren't you assigned as Captain Ukitake's caretaker?"
"You ask me that as if I'm the one who assigned Shinigami to their jobs," you let out, a tone of sass pairing your words. "But, I initially was. Captain Ukitake refused my treatment. He said I'd be better off helping others."
"I see," Byakuya hummed. "In any case, I'd like to thank you."
"Thank me? What for?"
"You healed me," he said with risen brows as he took your hand in his. "Twice."
And maybe it was the way his voice silkened out of his lips. Or the way his eyes doted into yours under the night's sky. Or the gentleness of his touch on your hand. Or the proximity that you could barely call a gap shared between you two.
But you couldn't fight the smile creeping onto your lips.
"Of course! It's my duty to protect you, Byakuya-sama!"
And maybe it was the crease formed under your eyes as you closed them. Or maybe it was the sound of the small giggle you let out as if he had said something amusing. Or maybe it was your smile that showed all kinds of sincerity.
Either way, he realized something.
Something about him.
Something about you.
It wouldn't be good for him to have fallen for his servant, right?
Well, it didn't matter.
Because no matter how badly injured he was in battles, Byakuya would refuse wholeheartedly on receiving treatment from the 4th Division. All because he wanted to hurry up home to see you and be healed by you.
Most of the time, he'd first meet your nagging but then you'd heal him either way. It was such an occurrence that at one point, you had stopped being shy around him.
Still, it wouldn't be good for him to have fallen for his servant, right?
And regrets would soon fall through on a night that showered the Seireitei with an empty sky.
Byakuya's eyes immediately shoot open, meeting the view of his bedroom ceiling. His body tensed, chills rushing throughout his skin. His body straightened to sit, his head turned in the direction of the doors.
A loud commotion was heard from the outside, his eyes widening at the realization of the situation. Standing up, he grabbed his Zanpakuto and slid the doors open.
He sensed the Spiritual Pressure of the intruder and began to head there. But his heart skipped a beat in panic upon realizing the Reiatsu that accompanied the intruder's.
Just as his heartbeat increased, so did the pace of his run. And he found himself not too far from your favorite spot, his eyes wide and shocked, frozen by the sight.
You were holding onto your Zanpakuto fiercely, your stance ready for combat as you swung your sword in an attempt to slash the intruder. And before Byakuya could fulfill his duty as your protector, everything flashed before him all too quickly.
Maybe he could shrug it off as just a nightmare.
But how could he?
When he himself could feel your presence slowly disappearing from him?
Too caught up in the moment, he hadn't even cared enough to arrest the intruder, only just killing the man on the spot, letting his emotions run free, escaping his pride and honor because that man had tainted his pride.
He tainted it by stabbing you right in a vital spot, rendering you helpless as you fell to the ground, blood emitted by your coughs and your wounds.
If only Byakuya was fast enough, he would have stopped the man before you could do anything. If only Byakuya was fast enough, he would have had time to catch you in his arms.
But he wasn't.
So he had to pick you up from the ground and lay you over his legs. Your head was placed softly above his palm, your left hand under his on your stomach despite the blood that had stained your skin.
"Y/N? Y/N!" He called, but you were barely able to open your eyes.
You fought hard for it.
To see him.
Just as you could feel him.
By his touch.
By his Reiatsu.
By his soul.
And by his heart.
Slowly, your lids fluttered open, allowing him one last view of your eyes.
"Byakuya-sama," you whispered out, cut off by another blood-emitting cough.
"Shh, don't move," he cooed, about to stand up but you stopped him.
"It's too late," you weakly hiccuped.
His eyebrows were stitched together in a frown before he shook his head. "No-"
"It is and you know it," you breathed out.
"No," he let out again, firmly. "I refuse-"
"Byakuya-sama, please listen to me for once," you weakly chuckled, your heart hurting each time you moved but it didn't matter.
You just wanted another moment with the man.
"Y/N-"
"You're different than what others had said," you smiled tiredly, a hand slowly going up to caress his cheek while pushing his fallen strands away from his complexion. "People say you're uptight and cold but you're not like that at all, are you?"
"Please, save your strength-"
"Can you let me talk?" She let out a small chuckle of amusement, a trail of blood leaking out of her lips. "You changed my life, Byakuya-sama."
"I'm sorry," he cried, letting loose that part of himself he's fought so hard to keep inside.
"Whatever for?"
His cheeks were tainted, tears embracing the outermost part while his heart felt the twisted pain for the second time again.
He's felt this before.
And he swore to never let himself feel it again.
That's why he refused to feel anything.
Yet somehow you got to him.
Somehow, you made him feel.
You made him fall in love again.
Only to snatch it right out of his hands.
"How can you still smile?" The question audibly escaped him.
"Because I'm with you, Byakuya-sama," you softly whispered as you fought the urge to close your eyes. "Thank you so much, Byakuya-sama."
His head lightly shook, his nostrils flaring with that same grief that had once eaten at him.
"Thank you for keeping me company. With you by my side, I could never feel lonely again."
His eyes fluttered, lips parted emptily, no words able to escape them as his throat itched with pain.
"Why did you fight, Y/N?" He suddenly asked. "You said it yourself. You're not a good fighter."
"Because," you coughed out, eyes meeting his again with a soft beam. "It is my duty to protect you, Byakuya-sama."
What more could he say?
"Can you, stay here while I look at the scenery?"
A gasp slipped out of him, his eyes flying open to see you looking to your left where the pond remained. Even with the pain he knew you were feeling, you still managed to tingle a small smile on your lips. And though it was small, it reached your eyes. Your saddened yet somehow bright eyes.
Right.
It was that smile of yours.
He remembered when his days got better each morning he'd wake up, a small hint of excitement swarming his heart as he would head to the pond.
Because then he'd see you.
And you'd be there.
As always.
Only always didn't last forever.
Because you were gone.
And his mornings were spent alone.
And he was alone.
Byakuya Kuchiki was a man of honor.
But that night stained his honor crimson with the memory of your blood.
