#c!derw

[derww]

you are more than enough.

[derww]

Is it getting easier (gbc)

slowly.

[derww]

ajfuller photography // m.g. woodcat

[derww]

cw: animal cruelty, abuse

for gbc members: do not use in character

the thing that seemingly nobody around them understood was that they weren't friends. "i don't even like him," said derw once, shrugging, almost 7 in the face, and it wasn't a lie, like nothing they ever said was. he paled, but then still weakly smiled, because of course derw didn't like him. he was a sheep for the slaughter, he knew; her value was in his death, not life. it was silly for her to think otherwise, really. they weren't friends, they weren't even comrades – derw was a devil on his shoulder, feeding from her weakness and pain, indifferent and interested at the same time, not in him, but in her imminent demise.

she knew why he was still here, but it wouldn't make sense for anybody else, so he gave up on explanation. nobody needed to know, after all. she didn't need to be saved – not even when derw hid his lost heart in clothes instead of giving it back and smiled like something was finally right; not when they said that they wanted rin to kill her again and again until there was nothing left; not when they made him kill her own pets and carefully watched while she, with shaking hands, cut his parrot's neck.

but, still, it was good in a way, you know? derw was cruel, but they were reliable. predictable, in a way. they couldn't lie and were not allowed to kill him, and, having lost both of his teammates, even this inch of stability was reassuring her. yes, she was led to her own death, but it was okay. she was dying anyway. derw's plan wasn't the worst option.

7, in the end, was alone, abandoned by everyone. and he was scared to die alone. she was just scared to die, too.

he always felt herself below. like a page, obediently accepting the order; like a lamb, obeying even against the survival instinct, awkwardly leaning closer to the barrel of the gun. after a long web of hard quests, he took the sword from derw's cold hands, instantly cutting fingers, slipping on the blood but still holding it, smearing the handle in blood, and derw smiled at her. they rarely smiled. he felt like she finally did something right. he might've chosen highest spots, but in the end it was always derw above her.

– it is your choice, – derw reminded almost softly, – you can choose your grave by showing if you are still a coward or if you are finally a warrior, deserving a proper burial.

derw couldn't kill her, but they held close to the heart their right to ban him. it seemed almost like the last thing that was holding derw interested in her, wishing to finally ban someone. her final value. he was fine with it, too.

derw banning her sounded good. like proper closure. something after which derw would just move on with their life. that was almost great, 7 decided. it was almost like the good ending.

(she was wrong in this one.)

[derww]

(gbc) Has it been worth it?

SpokeIsHere - I Got Hunted By The Minecraft Mafia

I DONT KNOW.

[derww]

(gbc) how do you love?

awanqi, seraph // charlie mackesy, the boy, the mole, the fox and the horse

too sincerely.

[derww]

it was always about us.

[derww]

fighting an unworthy opponent