o captain, who's captain?—favorite quotes, no context
(marisha) i feel like someone needs to name a bong blaza minnelli, by the way. that's a perfect bong name.
(nott) i'll ask him. would you like us to leave the axe in or take it out?
(nott) look, you just saved a life! that's—that's good news, right? (caduceus) well, he'll be dead eventually.
(caleb) right, we want to just, you know, get along. we're all tired. i'm tired. buuut i'll go to work if i need to.
(travis) what color skin? (marisha) seems awesome. i don't know, i got distracted by the sleeveless coat aspect. that's all i heard.
(nott) you had an axe in your head! you survived! (gallan) i had a what? i'm okay? is it bad? (nott) it's nothing to you. it's nothing! missed all the major organs. you're fine.
(nott) you have now officially been conscribed to the mighty nein— (jester) temporarily. (nott) —for the purposes of this sea voyage, at the end of which, you will be compensated for your duties. if you kill any of us, you will be thrown overboard. (jester) if you jump overboard, we'll jump after you, and we'll bring you back. (nott) and also, as a result of us not—mostly—knowing how to sail, you are also the first mate. (gallan) okay. (jester) congratulations.
(nott) he's your first mate now. and— (fjord) axe-head is? (nott) yeah, don't worry we took the axe out.
(caleb) you see the sun is coming up, but you can still see one or two up there. you see that one? (nott) the stars? (caleb) that's a planet, that one. that's another place. (nott) no. no, we're on the planet.
(nott) we'll keep them together. if all else fails, fake a heart attack. everyone will go to your aid, and then when they save you, they'll be like, "yeah, we saved him, yeah!"
(caleb) and there really is—it's another world. (nott) no. no, we're on the world.
(caduceus) oh, you know how it is. some rocks just don't sit right.
(liam) you picked a sailor, man. (travis) i know, i wished that—i'm glad i didn't pick an astronaut, or we'd be fucked.
(beau) you're with me on the whisper campaign? (nott) i am the whisper campaign.
(fjord) you want me to do it? (sam/nott) yeah, you're the sailor guy! this is your whole episode!
(nott) we need a crew! (sam) i look like cap'n crunch, by the way.
(jester) let's off-road it! (caduceus) as the crow swims.
(caduceus) oh yeah. i mean, probably. i don't know. i mean, i'm just barely attached on to this at this point, but i think you're fine.
(matt) they're very confused because there are no tusks visible on tusktooth. (travis) nope. you never want to see them.
(travis) one ounce! one inch punch! (matt) it is technically a monk weapon, the index finger. (marisha) my hands are registered weapons!
(nott) because even though we've made some mistakes and we'll probably continue to, it feels like we're a little bit better when we're together. this other fellow in the group, mollymauk, he sort of showed us that…by dying.
(nott) i'm not a religious lady, but i will tell you that, for me, this journey with this group has been a bit of a sign. i know that you're questioning whether it was for you, but... (caduceus) what kind of sign? (nott) a sign that there could be, for all of us, another chapter. (caduceus) wow, i thought i had you figured out. never mind. alright.
(matt) yeah, that's a 16. (sam) whoa, best roll ever. (marisha) that's because ashley's not here to roll initiative for herself.
(sam/nott) i've got you nameless deckhand!
(matt) not technically—it's holding, yeah, and it's not even an ally who's in combat with it, so. (sam) it's an employee.
(fjord) how do we prevent further heart episodes from— (nott) more friendship! just more friendship.
(nott) come on, captain, tell us what to do! (fjord) i have no idea. (nott) you're the fucking captain! (fjord) abandon ship! (nott) no!
(sam) oh boy, does that mean we all need to wear sailing clothing to our show in new york?
(liam) your shipping dreams and your shipping dreams are coming true.