To the Ones I've Lost Along the Way
To the ones I’ve lost along the way… Thank you. Thank you for being a part of my journey. Thank you for being a part of my growing process. Each and every one of you has given me an experience that was instrumental in me becoming the person I am today. These experiences have helped shape and mold me into the person you’ve came to know and love. Some of you have changed my life for the better, and showed me what it’s like to be filled with love and compassion. This has sparked a fire inside of me that yearns to show others what true love and kindness is. Others have been lessons on the type of negativity I don’t need in my life. Each of these stepping stones has been a battle in itself. Each coming with its own set of highs and lows, feats and defeats, victories and heart breaks. All in all, I wouldn’t change this bumpy ride for the smoothest trip in a million years.
Admittedly, I may not be the winner of this years “best friend” award. As of lately, I have been a little distant; quietly keeping to myself while the rest of the world slowly passes by. Unfortunately, I don’t seem to have enough time to converse as much as I have in the past. This pesky little thing called school has been the biggest attention whore I have ever encountered. Just when I dig myself out of a hole, a giant new wave of homework swoops in and washes me out into the abyss, where I seem to float in a sea of loneliness. The cycle revolves over and over again in a seemingly endless circle.
Please know that my absence has nothing to do with you. After much deliberation, I’ve decided that it’s time for me to focus on myself. I have spent far too much time trying to please the world. It has recently occurred to me that I have spent the majority of my life not doing the things that I want to do because I was either too afraid of what others might think, or I ignored my needs based on how others felt.
So, for now, I’ve chosen to focus solely on myself. I’m going to do the things I want to do, and make the decisions I want to make. As selfish as that sounds, I think it’s a necessary step that I need to take in order to further myself into this phenomenon known as “adulthood”. I plan on getting through school, and bettering my physical capabilities through therapy. Whatever spare time I have left over will be spent wisely with family, friends, and loved ones.
Regrettably, this decision has been hard for some friends of mine to comprehend. They see my absence as a betrayal. This is unfortunate for both of us. Your anger makes me feel guilty for wanting to grow myself as a human being. Instead of being angry, you should be happy that I am this motivated. If anything, my self-motivation should inspire you to make some life altering changes as well. Could you imagine what this world would be like if we all took the time to change ourselves for the better? I’m not mad at you though. It’s human nature to reject new ideas. However, just because I’m not present as much as I have been, doesn’t mean my love and admiration for our friendship has lessened in anyway. I guess absence doesn’t always make the heart grow fonder. And I guess we both have to learn to live without each other in our lives.
So to you, the friends I’ve lost along the way, it was nice knowing you. I want to reiterate my thankfulness to you for having me in your life, no matter how brief it was. You were a lesson that I will forever hold in my heart. No matter what happens in life, I’m glad that we got to spend a little bit of that time together. And to the friends that stay, I will forever be indebted to you. I know that you will be the ones that I can come to no matter how big of an issue I encounter. I want you to know that you can rely on me to do the same. I have a long road ahead of me, and I promise to make it worth it to each and every one of you who stick around to see me through it.
With ample amounts of love and gratefulness,
- Austin Charters
AKA C5Roller