Idk why I’m obsessed with Gaara cactus jokes these days
Naruto: Why don’t you get a girlfriend, Gaara?
Gaara: Why should I? I already have Kankuro and Shinki by my side.
Naruto: I know you do! And that’s great, Gaara! It’s great that your family loves you. Uhhh...but doesn’t it get lonely still? After all you wouldn’t do with your brother and son...what you’d do with a girlfriend. Um, right? Oh my gawd, please tell me I’m right?
Gaara: Yes, you’re right.
Naruto: Phew! For a moment there, I thought—
Gaara: For that which you speak of, I have my cacti.
Naruto: B-but that’s still not the same as having a girlfriend!
Gaara: They do require just as much attention and care as the “girlfriends” people our age so often complain about.
Naruto, facepalming: I’m sorry, Gaara, I mean, I like gardening too, but...chicks can’t be replaced by freaking cactuses! That’s just...sad!
Gaara: I’m sorry, Naruto, but perhaps you simply aren’t as passionate about gardening as I am. I fail to see what I could gain from a girlfriend that I couldn’t receive from my cacti.
Naruto: W-what about...kids? You know, the whole...*gestures obscenely* you-know-what?
Gaara: ...yes.
Naruto, choking on his own saliva: YOU FUCK YOUR CACTI?!!!!! HOW THE HECK IS THAT EVEN...POSSIBLE?
Gaara: Well, the correct term is hand-pollination, and admittedly, only certain species require it to produce seeds
