haikaveh | flowers for you
—After Alhaitham got his job, it has been a habit of his to give Kaveh gifts in return to their cancelled meets but it has become so often.
Sunday in the afternoon, Kaveh opened his cabinet kinda too enthusiastically causing its doors to bang with the walls beside it, he brushes against the tips of the hangers and picked out his 'never worn for special occasion only' clothes. Alhaitham promised him a date today. it’s been so long since the two of them meet outside—well on their house too. This time it’s not gifts again but really a long night to share with him.
Kaveh knew the consequences of committing in a relationship with his partner too well, Alhaitham is very ambitious and passionate. Ever since he got the job that could lead him to his dream, Kaveh understood that it will require his partner to work even on holidays. At times when he asks for a day of just themselves relaxing, talking to each other, eating at the same table, Alhaitham would have to be informed a week before he could confirm if it fits his schedule.
They do meet once a month that eventually became just annually—on their anniversary. Then comes the time that they could really not meet even at their house. When Kaveh comes home, he would find Alhaitham sleeping soundly on the couch not even reaching their bedroom because of fatigue and when he wakes up, Alhaitham is no longer around. Sometimes the latter doesn't really come home.
It has become a habit of Alhaitham to give Kaveh gifts, a replacement to the promises he couldn't fulfill and today, it’s the least Kaveh wants to see. Unfortunately, he received a message from him,
"Darling, I can't make it today, I’m sorry I'll make it up to you soon. Look under my table I left a gift for you"
Again, he puts back all of his prepared things for their supposedly alone time after a year and looked for the gift. Before opening the door to his partner's office, Kaveh let out a big sigh and casually shook of the thought going on in his mind. Under the table was the thing he mentioned to Alhaitham, flower Legos. At least he would be entertained for the day assembling it—he thought.
While assembling the pieces, he thought deep. Missing their early years, thinking about if this is still worth enduring, what causing him to think like this, and so much more. Kaveh knew he would burst any moment so he quickly grabbed a pen and paper, taking Alhaitham's advice that whenever he feels like his emotions can't be contained anymore... write.
After tons of scribbles in the paper, wet by the tears falling from his eyes, he finally wrote something decent—sort of a goodbye letter. Placing the letter on top of Alhaitham's table, he put the flowers he assembled beside the piece of paper.
✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿
When Alhaitham punched out from work, just then he received a voice mail from Kaveh,
"Hey! I appreciate your gift thank you! be careful going home alright? go straight to your office room I left something for you too. I love you"
Alhaitham felt something strange but couldn't figure it out, so he hurriedly called back but Kaveh wasn't answering. This worried him because Kaveh's voice was not on its usual tone, he could hear a faint quiver.
Arriving at their house, Alhaitham was nervous to open their front door. He called his partner's name but no answer. He searched for him everywhere but no Kaveh in the house, then he remembered the voicemail—there he found a letter. He doesn't feel good, he's afraid the day has come that the only person who endured and believes him can no longer do that. His hands are trembling, sweats dripping from his forehead down trickling his cheeks, opening the letter and reading its first few lines, he knew something was off—his hunch was right.
Thank you for all of your gifts,
but nothing can compare your presence beside me,
your arms that embraced me just enough to put me on cloud nine,
your sweet soft lips that kissed me passionately,
your stares that spoke words,
the way you hum beside me to put up rhythms,
the way you dance with me in our kitchen,
all your beautiful thoughts when we can't sleep at night,
all your cute whines when I tease you,
the way you hold my hand so gently that I feel the safest in by your side.
All of the things I mentioned do fade as the time pass by with couples, but i am just a man who loves you, who desires you, and I could feel that I’m one of the things holding you down to achieve your dreams. So here I am, saying goodbye with the last thing you gave me, flower Legos.
Destroy it with frustration, display it with love, throw it out of anger, it’s up to you, I assembled this as I reminisce our lovely memories, and as I put the last piece together, I realized that I no longer am one of your priorities.
I do understand your dream to be the best detective and I support you to the fullest. I'll be here watching you but I will no longer hinder you from that.
by the time you finish reading this letter I have gone far away, I will always remember us Alhaitham, please do not try to find me as it’s easy to fall back on your I love yous
You will always be the best detective for me, go chase your dreams Alhaitham. Goodbye darling.”
Sweat and tears blending together as it trickles down his face, his mind went blank, his heart was sunken empty, he did not know what to do, his hands maybe moved on its own and caressed the flower Kaveh built for him—as a goodbye. Alhaitham couldn't express back his love, his gratitude, his sincerity to the person he always loved.
Right there and then, he held the flowers to his arms, but it all fell down, piece by piece like how their love turned out—crumbled in pieces because the other couldn't put the same effort of care compared to the builder.
