there's so much to lose
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there's so much to lose
Heather (Calluna)
been a while
and some personal faves
30 Questions for your Dark Urge
So been wanting to work on lore for my characters. Well maybe not lore because I have lore upon lore stuck in my head on any of my characters. I love all of them and are happy to just talk when ever.
still I decided no matter how many likes I have my tumblr is going to be a place for my lore thoughts and maybe on bad days I’ll go back and read and if people like my thoughts. Well makes a bat happy.
so I decided to do this ask game and since I have five durges I’ll alternate every other durge
while I found gen particular post in @bardic-perdita’s blog, the original is from @spellfireburst
Samhain, vanna, Meris, Kal, Morin
What circumstances led to your Dark Urge becoming their Class/Subclass? Samhain got his class from the way he was created. Since he only really had one parent and then was shaped to have the characteristics Bhaal wanted, raw Magic was introduced and thus Samhain developed into a wild Sorcerer.
Did your Dark Urge have any romantic and/or sexual relationships prior to their illithid adventure? If yes, who was it with and what was it like? If no, how did they feel about being single? Vanna did try to have a life before the urge and Bhaal brought him to the temple. He became a cleric due to Mai’s dream. He tried his best to resist and live his life and ended up getting married to a surface drow named Janus. Vanna was loyal, felt peace and was generally romantic. However bhaal had other ideas and eventually won causing Vanna to end up killing Janus. During his Bhaal days he worked on being single as to not get attached although it was easy to seduce people into sex to better murder them.
What would your Dark Urge consider to be their greatest skill? Is this accurate? Meris doesn’t often think of what he’s best at. He just does what he can. However if pressed enough he would probably answer that he would consider his greatest skill creativity. He uses it in his art and then also uses it as a talent. This would be accurate as he applies to a lot of his daily life and even fighting.
What would your Dark Urge consider to be their greatest flaw? Is this accurate? Kal considers his competitiveness to be his greatest flaw as he can get really cruel and temperamental about winning. He is only half right as his need to be the winner also leads to an utter lack of drive about things to try to escape this feeling. He’d rather purposefully not try than compete unless he knows he has a fairly good shot at it.
What opinion does your Dark Urge have about the Gods? Morin doesn’t really think about the gods too much growing up. He of course heard about talos and umberlee being raised in a lighthouse and in a costal town and he did pray to selune for guidance but they didn’t really influence his life. Then Bhaal happened, and while he did his bidding there was always a deep hatred for making him the way he was, unable to escape. When he did finally escape, he didn’t remember anything other than a vague worship of Selune. It helped him realize there was something wrong with Shadowheart’s worship and then selune stepped up. She sent him the cats (he isn’t sure how Nessie ended up joining him.) and then looked after Shadowheart when Shadowheart switched deities. However he has a hatred for the darker gods and is fighting against Bhaal and the other dead three with everything. While agitated that this is wither’s fault and some of withers’ actions, he does somewhat understand and does thank him for the rescue.
How does your Dark Urge react to waking up with memory loss? Samhain was worried. There were feelings that weren’t his won. Whispers he knew were important and a need to figure out what was going on to prevent a tragedy. Plus a lack of control over his own magic. So yeah he was worried and scared but as a leader tried to keep silent about his struggles.
Did your Dark Urge recall any childhood memories? If yes, how do they feel about the revelations? If no, was it by choice or lack of options? Vanna was different in that he had a good chunk of memories. He had his memories of growing up with mai. Of his coming of age ritual and some of his days being a cleric. He knew he had huge memory gone because fashion was different, and all the dark urges. He felt sick at the thought he might be a Bhaal spawn and promised himself he would never go back to being bhaal's puppet.
How does your Dark Urge feel about the wilderness? Well Meris is a Druid, so he prefers being in the wild. Less noise, less of a reason to be social or deal with people judging because he’s a drow or drow judging him because of his hair. The closer it is to water the better. When he moves to water deep, he is often in the harbor either just swimming and checking on the wildlife or being one of the marine mammals.
How does your Dark Urge feel about the city? Kal is ambivalent about the city. There is a convenience to getting supplies and shelter but there is also noise, people with all their problems and cruelty. However there is also the chance to dream and hope and some times kindness. He doesn’t have too many memories about cities so he often relies on Calluna’s memories of city life… which is better ways to get entertainment and medicine.
What motivates your Dark Urge to either embrace or resist the tadpole? Morin uses it very sparingly. He used it to free Shadowheart and then to save some one and avoid a fight and when it started taking memories, we’ll Morin had so few and that his magic relied very heavily on memories and skill to control it, he started resisting. He didn’t need anything more being taken from them.
What motivates your Dark Urge to either embrace or resist the Urge? Samhain is naturally kind at heart. He wants everyone to have a happy ending. While Salem did do most of the dark urge things to protect them from Bhaal, both sides of the personality prefer kindness having been shown the ugliness of hate and cruelty too much.
How does your Dark Urge feel about being a bhaalspawn? Vanna hates it, he hates when people’s beliefs are forced into him… and when he kills, he wants it to be his choice, to be the last Orion not because it gives him a high or because he has to. When he lost his memory of being Arel, he was afraid to find out. He knew of bhaalspawn as a cleric, and he kept coming across all these books about how they were villainized. He didn’t want that to be his and Mai’s legacy.
How does your Dark Urge feel about killing? Meris is some what ambivalent about it. He of course feels for every death and that it came to that, and a life was snuffed off but also that there is no choice often in the world they live in. When he has his connection to the sea back it blocks some of the urge he Inherited from adora. He can also escape through wildshaping when feeling the urge too much, allowing the animal mind to take over. It’s a double edge sword as it’s like the need piles up.
How good of a liar is your Dark Urge? How do they feel about lying? When people are expecting Kal to lie and looking at him, watching him, he is a horrible liar. However when he needs to lie to avoid a consequence then he is very good at it. If he’s lying maliciously he often feels bad about it but some times the truth is way more hurtful and doesn’t help any one. Lies often keep society going.
What is your Dark Urge’s greatest fear? Morin fears oblivion. He fears being unclaimed, fading away with no one knowing he exists. To stop being. He also has a great fear of boats. He hats the uneven feeling, the fear of the boat going down and being against his own control.
What is your Dark Urge’s greatest desire? Samhain wants to help others. He wants his special people to be happy and get the ever after they wanted. Maybe it won’t be everything but something they can accept and flourish in.
What is your Dark Urge’s greatest regret? Vanna’s biggest regret is not being able to save Janus from Bhaals plans and his own birthright. He regrets not being quick enough or fast enough to get mai out of moon haven fast enough and he regrets giving into Bhaal and being his chosen for so long.
How does your Dark Urge feel about love? Meris doesn’t think he’s lovable. He’s heard he’s cursed. He’s heard drow are malicious, and he knows there is something unspeakable lurking with in him. He knows he’s gorgeous but he’s also not the most emotive. He will mention his feelings to others and he’ll help his special people. He doesn’t really see romantic actions towards himself you definitely have to be blunt about it. Muere practically had to throw himself in his bed and when he joined the party and seeing gale’s affections Muere definitely gave all his tips to Gale… vecause Gale definitely needed help despite being suave when he felt it safe enough to make moves towards Meris.
Has your Dark Urge become particularly close to anyone romantically and/or platonically in their journey? If so, who, and what is the relationship like? If no, why not? I was afraid this was going to be Kal. Kal is a wait and see but he’s also only able to be seen by Calluna. Yes they work out sharing a body and the group does learn about it but as he learns more about himself his lack of self esteem hits and he feels he doesn’t deserve happiness. Karlach is the first one that tries to befriend him and asks Calluna to switch. Afterwards everyone else also works on building a relationship especially when Calluna gets mad and tells them he can hear everyone and is experiencing everything. Because he is somewhat Calluna he also carries the same fondness for elease and elease realizes Kal is this universe’s Calluna. It’s easy to carry her friendship over. So he struggles with his limitations but at the same time… he does want people to want to be with him and see something as well. He’s kind and loyal and understanding to any one that gets close. He might judge but he never uses it against you.
Is your Dark Urge open about their Urge or do they try to hide it? Why? Morin is a bit of both. When he ends up killing quill he doesn’t try to hide it. He mentions he doesn’t remember killing her but he’s pretty sure he is the reason. He tries to handle it himself and he warns the others about his thoughts but doesn’t constantly give updates. When it gets so bad he almost kills Shadowheart he tells her. After she asks to keep him updates, he tells the others when he gets his memories back what he is.
What are 2-3 songs that your Dark Urge would relate to? Samhain is a hard one. Because he’s also two people. I would say the song “bad apple” by touhou and “my other me.” By katsumi. Basically anything that has a Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde feeling.
What first impression does your Dark Urge give off to strangers? Vanna seems a bit optimistic and a bit naive at first impression. He strives to be helpful and guiding but you feel safe giving him the reigns to lead. There is charming feeling about him, like you want to be around to learn more.
How does your Dark Urge feel about what others think of them? Meris has learned a long time ago not to care. People will look at his appearance or race and make their own opinion no matter what he tries to do. He just loves his life the way he wants (when he can and Bhaal isn’t interfering) he some times feels hurt but it’s expecting. He believes the worst so he can get pleasantly surprised. There is a reason he spent a good chunk of act one as an animal around people.
Does your Dark Urge have a treasured item with them? If yes, what is it and why is it special? If no, how do they feel about item sentimentality in general? Calluna is more the one that has the treasured item and because it’s special to her, it’s special to Kal. When he takes control he makes sure that stuffed tiger is well taken care of and nothing happens to it. When its tail got ripped off he revealed himself to astarion and made a deal to get it sewed. He understands sentimentality and tries to protect things that are for the people that matter.
How does your Dark Urge feel about Sceleritas Fel? Morin wants to stab Sceleritas. The butler does not listen, tries to make Morin want they want and not what Morin says he is and never tells Morin anything he wants to hear or know. It’s always about what this father is about. In the beginning he kept all his dark fantasies into trying to kill sceleritas.
How does your Dark Urge feel about Bhaal? Samhain is ambivalent or feels hatred even when a chosen. You can’t pick your parents but Bhaal wouldn’t let them be anything but what he wanted. Bhaal did care in his twisted way but in the way toxic people do. He despises the purpose of his creation but at the same time wants to be alive. Then he works on not caring because even hatred is giving the god more emotion than Samhain wants. .
How does your Dark Urge feel about giving and receiving orders? Vanna prefers his own judgment being bhaal’s puppet for so long. He knows his motivations and while he doesn’t have many dragon traits he does share the pride. So he’s rather dominant. Thus he prefers being the leader but that doesn’t mahesh doesn’t listen to advice. If he believes in the order, he’ll do it.
How well does your Dark Urge function under pressure? Actually pretty well. If something needs to be done and Meris is able to do it then he will. He’ll hyper focus until it’s done. Running from the problem or hiding never helps. He learned that from his circle who decided to complete the rite of thorns.
What advice would you give to your Dark Urge? To accept that Kal deserves to be loved. You don’t have to be your parents. You are more than your urges… and everything will eventually change so don’t give up.
What are your Dark Urge’s intentions/goals after the end of the game? Morin’s goals are to help animals, help astarion walk in the sun, and help Shadowheart connect as a selunite or give her a happy ending. Also reconnect with Kaiden. When Luka is born, it becomes be a good father,
Tagetes erecta
Pairing: Ray/Lila Description: Prince Ray's mind wanders as he encounters a dear friend in the garden. Set in the Calluna universe. Happy Birthday to me! It's my yearly one-shot gift to myself. My sweet, darling prince Ray deserves a spin around the sun this time. [Read on AO3]
“My Prince, what are you doing awake at this hour? You know how Her Majesty will be upset if you’re late for your studies again.”
“I could ask you the same question,” Ray replied, his frown growing by the minute. He had no choice but to visit the library to locate a particular text about the neighboring kingdom’s agricultural exports. His Mother refused to give him the afternoon off if he failed to meet her standards.
Rules:
When sending an ask, address it to the character you want to ask. (i.e. “Dream, what do you . . .”) Asks without a character specified will not be answered.
You can ask/talk to more than one character per ask! (i.e. “Hey Dream and Nightmare, what do you . . .”)
You can ask pretty much anything, be it story/lore-wise or other. Just please be appropriette and respectful!
You can only ask/talk to those on the character list. (For example, you cannot ask Blue or Ink anything! at least for right now)
You can “gift” any of the characters something either through ask or a submission!
All asks with be answered via text only. I will also try to answer questions at least once a week on this blog, if not more, depending on how much time and energy (or asks) I have. Please bear with me if it takes a while to get to your ask!
Character List: Names are color coded so you will know who is speaking.
OSD!Nightmare
OSD!Little Dream
OSD!Killer
OSD!Cross
OSD!Horror
OSD!Dust
Mod!Cal
(These characters are from my fanfic One Small Dream, but the original characters and their canon belong to their respective creators!)