When Smollusk gets overwhelmed by the chaos of an extended family get together and transforms into Overlorder mode, it takes some patience and snuggles from it's parents to get it to calm down!
(Inspired by a convo I had with @askbodiddly in the comments of this post!! For more info about this dynamic and the extended family, I would recommend checking it out :3)
When I write fic or make art for Splatoon, I generally have my personal AU with my own OCs in mind, which has my favorite interpretation of relationship dynamics in the cast. Specifically, I have less ships than most people, and don't ship certain popular characters for pairings.
BUT I read a lot of Splatoon fic that obviously doesn't involve my own OCs and I have developed preferences and opinions about ships that my AU isn't ever going to touch. So I'm just gonna vent all my thoughts (positive and negative) about all of these right here so they stop rolling around in my head.
Callie/Acht (Dedf1sh)
-Calf1sh has always been and will always be a crackship, and I think it's funny and wonderful that the community so widely adopted a crackship. I have no strong feelings about this in either direction other than amusement at it's popularity.
-I am positive it only happened because between Pearlina, Agent 24, and M4rie, Callie was left as the only single main cast member, and dedf1sh was the only named character around her age left to ship her with (since people are allergic to letting both fictional characters and irl people be single), which is somewhat irritating. But I find Calf1sh amusing and inoffensive, so whatever.
Marie/Agent 4
-M4rie fascinates me, because canonically there's a significant age gap between Agent 4 and the Squid Sisters. Agent 4 is unambiguously 14 (according to dev interviews), while the squid sisters were considered to be slightly older than the inklings of Splatoon 1. This would logically put them around 17, making them around 19 in Splatoon 2. That's pretty extreme for people who are teenagers, which is why "Marie is Agent 4's surrogate mother figure" is also a popular interpretation (I prefer neither and think of her as 4's peer mentor/cool older sister like the older teen staffers at summer camps, but that's neither here nor there).
-BUT I know why this happened too. The English localization has some poorly translated dialogue implying 4 is older (I don't remember exactly how old), but definitely closer to Marie in age. If you had that angle in mind while playing the game, Marie's dialogue can definitely come across a little tsundere-esque where she starts out very cold and aloof and a bit critical towards Agent 4 and slowly warms up to them and comes to care for them. I can see how that vibe is fun for people. Because I'm more inclined to think of Agent 4 as younger, I'm not a huge fan of M4rie, but I don't mind it every once in a while.
Hot Take Zone: Callie/Agent 4
-The real thing that annoys me about M4rie is that if we put 4 closer in age to The Squid Sisters, I find C4LLIE to be a much more compelling ship. Callie is a brainwashed damsel in distress that 4 is attempting to rescue, and is primarily getting to know Marie while she is deeply worried about and desperately missing her cousin, which would cause 4 to be curious and intrigued, not to mention Callie's visible effect on the Octarian environments and people 4 is traversing and fighting.
-I feel Callie's more loving and energetic nature gels much better with both the popular fan interpretations of Agent 4 and their canonical personality of being so studious they have no idea who the Squid Sisters are. 4 and Callie get a lot of fun interactions and juice from both her brainwashed fight and her obvious affection for Agent 4 afterward, and I am generally pissed off by C4llie's unexplored potential. If you're aging up 4 anyway, open your eyes and see the truth that C4llie is AT LEAST as interesting as M4rie and I think it's better.
Captain 3/Callie and Captain 3/Marie
-The extreme popularity of Agent 24 leaves a lot of (Old) Agent 3 ships not involving 8 unexplored. For example, I tend to think the Squid Sisters have more romantic potential with 3 than with 4, both due to being closer in age (3 is 14-16 in Splat 1) and just because they clearly are all very close in Splat 3 down to Marie being the Captain's mouthpiece. Callie and Agent 3 have the "serious/silly" energy that people are looking for from M4rie, and Marie/3 has the energy of shipping the two bitchiest people in the room together that I think is SO entertaining and I am SO disappointed by the lack of love both these ships get.
Agent 12, Agent 24, Agent 32, and Agent 96
-Look. I understand why Agent 24 is popular. I really do get it. My personal AU has agent 24 as a major focus. The two of them exploring their shared trauma and overcoming lifetimes of propoganda to be a SCARY AS HELL power couple is peak. BUT. I think most people are writing it wrong, because they choose to completely ignore Agent 4 as part of this equation.
-Agent 4 has a canonical friendship with Agent 8 and even with Marina. While they don't have an explicit relationship with 3, they do explicitly have one with the Squid Sisters and Cap'n Cuttlefish, and unlike 8, both are officially agents of the Squidbeak Splatoon. I find it highly unlikely that the two would never interact.
-I find most 24 fans to be absolutely insufferable because if they acknowledge 4's existence at all, the take seems to be "4 and 8 are friends I guess, idk, they don't really care about each other much though because friendship isn't important compared to romance," and then "3 and 4 barely talk to each other, if they do then 3 finds 4 vaguely annoying and not worth their time."
-BITCH NO. CRIMINAL. JAIL FOR ALL OF YOU!!! At the very least, 8 and 4 are roommates and you don't get to ignore how important that is in a person's life.
-If you are JUST doing Agent 24, then my personal fav interpretation is that 4 is their biggest wingman and 3 and 8's friendship with them is something they bond over. Hanging out with 4 is an easy casual activity they can both engage in during the early phases of their relationship when things are still kind of weird and heavy coming off the traumatic heels of Octo Expansion. 4 would want both of their friends to be friends with each other, and would probably notice their mutual affection and try to help them out. Basically, after Octo Expansion, 4 has their life together while 8 and 3's lives are lowkey in shambles, so 4 becomes a stable person both of them can rely on while they navigate their feelings for each other, just like Pearl and Marina are for 8.
-I also think the other ships you get out of this trio are highly underexplored. I know Nintendo hasn't released Valentine's art of any of the others, but C'MON, whatever happened to And They Were Roommates! Agent 32 is the cute fluffy story you are all looking for where Agent 8 slowly adjusts to a happier life on the surface with a dorky inkling roommate to help them navigate it.
-Agent 12 is downright CRIMINALLY underrated because of how much freedom you have with them. Does 3 see 4 as their replacement or their protege or their peer? Does 4 feel like they have to live up to or escape the shadow of 3 or is it something they aren't really worried about? Do they have a rivalry? How do they feel about the revelation that the Octarians they've both fought weren't as bad as they were told? How do they each feel about the Squid Sisters and Off the Hook? How about DJ Octavio and Cap'n Cuttlefish? Those are all interesting questions to explore from both a platonic and romantic angle, but it seems like most people just ignore them??? For some reason??? I don't understand it.
-And of course, Agent 96 is the best variation because then you can have all of these things happening at the same time and get to explore new stuff about how they interact romantically as a trio. I don't personally write this because I have an aroace agent 4, but the end result is something that feels closer in spirit to 96 than most 24 fics do.
Callie/Pearl/Marina
-The OTHER solution to "Callie doesn't have an easy person to pair her off with, despite being the idol most associated with lovey-dovey imagery." I actually REALLY like this one, simply because I think they'd all get along really well. Callie's peppy dorky kindness is a perfect balance to Pearl's chaotic enthusiastic confidence and Marina's shy sweet intelligence. I'm not kidding I always get very happy seeing calpearlina art or reading calpearlina fic. They're fun, they're cute, they're silly, they're sweet. They feel right and they feel very Splatoon. I don't have this in my AU because I don't feel the need to ship Callie and Marie with anybody---the squid sisters' most important relationship is their familial tie to each other, and that is what's going to get focus. But this one actually does something for me in a way Calf1sh never has.
Marie/Shiver
-I don't like this one. It just does nothing for me. Idk why. Like at least Calf1sh is funny in a metatextual sense and doesn't necessarily undermine established characterization. But Mariver doesn't even have that going for it. It's literally just "We don't really have someone to ship Marie with! Oh here's another snarky idol, sure that'll work." Shiver seems to openly detest Inkopolis and all things Order associated, right up until she and the other members of Deep Cut decide Marie is their boss to make up for their disruption of the campaign. And they seem to choose Marie specifically just because she has vaguely authoritative vibes. Marie seems to have no opinions on any of the Deep Cut members beyond vague annoyance at their obstructions to the story mode, and perhaps a fondness in seeing a new idol group continue her legacy.
-I will say if people stopped writing this as cute and fluffy "Oh someone finally managed to snag the interest of the famously aloof Marie, look how flustered they both are," this one DOES have potential as a toxic relationship. Specifically: Marie is Shiver's boss and she both wants to impress and one-up Marie because of her role as a popular idol who represents the rival city of Inkopolis and stylistically goes against everything Shiver stands for. Marie doesn't really care either way about Shiver, but doesn't mind accepting physical intimacy from her when Shiver offers it, and will absolutely trade snark with her. Neither parties are malicious, but Shiver has her characteristic desperation for attention and success that she's trying to mask with this cold-blooded tough bandit act, and Marie has her own characteristic aloofness and insensitivity to other's feelings.
-Buuuut nobody writes it this way, because the only reason most people choose Mariver instead of the much more compelling and canon-close Shiver/Frye or poly Deep Cut is because they want a cute Marie ship, and even though that exists and it's called Marie/Captain 3, that would break up Agent 24 and we couldn't possibly have that, so this is what we're left with.
Agent 8/Acht (Dedf1sh)
I still don't know how to feel about this one. I like it I guess, but I can't decide if it's a favorite or not. Because on the one hand, 8 is someone who has fought tooth and nail for their freedom to live on the surface as a person, while Acht is someone who semi-willingly gave up their personhood, but through the influence of Eight, Pearl, and Marina, came to want to live again. And they of course share Kamabo Co. trauma which is about 80% of the basis for Agent 24.
But on the other hand? Acht is sooooooo Marina's ex. Like even if they weren't an official item, Acht DEFINITELY had a thing for her. And Acht rekindling their friendship with Marina and navigating their relationship in this new strange context is far more interesting to me than 8/Acht. Like, not to say you can't have both, I just think Acht making that journey is more interesting if they don't immediately get a new romantic interest. Or at least, I'd prefer if the new interest wasn't someone so connected to Marina. And since 8/Acht is predicated on them bonding over Kamabo and Memverse trauma, idk if I'd like them as much if they didn't happen until farther in the future after they'd both worked that out already. I think they might be an instance of right person wrong time for me.
I think that about covers it? Those are all my strong opinions anyway. I do think it's kind of funny that because we have absolutely nothing on Neo Agent 3's age, I've seen every interpretation, with them as young as 13 during Alterna and as old as 21, which leads to lots of different fascinating ship options. I love Poly Deep Cut and Pearlina but since they're in my AU and pretty much unaltered from their portrayals in the games and popular fan conversation, I have nothing of value to add.
If you read all of this. . . Thanks I guess? I'd love to chat more about squids with people, but I do know most of my moots don't know or don't care about this game. This post is almost entirely for me to just get thoughts out of my head. Screaming into the void if you will.
Either way expect art of these guys together soon <3
Thought process under the cut:
So, obviously Pearlina is the most popular Splatoon ship, and I'd say that Calf1sh isn't too far behind. I like both of these, but personally I prefer Pearl X Callie and Marina X Acht... combine that with an appreciation for Calpearlina (which should be more popular I think) and lo and behold, I had the urge to create the ultimate polycule - CALPEARLINACHT!!!
When your not-so-romantic girlfriend decides to be really cheesy for Valentine's Day ❤
Tbh I only drew this because I LOVE the official art we got, so I wouldn't rly count it as late Valentine's Day art lol (I needed to draw those tentacles ooooouugghhh so beautiful)
Also I don't want to ignore the perfect opportunity to draw some Calrina art, but when I tried to do so, I ended up hating it. And usually I still post my art even if I'm not super satisfied with it so... yeah it was bad. Take a Calpearlina doodle from my sketchbook instead!
(You can't rly tell from this drawing but I am a 'Pearl = small swim form -> Marina = normal sized swim form -> Callie = big swim form' truther)
