The thing about being a creative is like with so many other things in life, it comes and goes. I remember two years ago sitting in my father's home office creating my first blogging site www.ZealousScripts.com. I ran that site for awhile amassing over 4,000 followers between the blog itself and social media in only five short months. I featured over 100 writers, photographers and other artists. I networked, advertised, hosted events and overall met some amazing people. It was in my opinion a short-lived success.
All of that social "internet fame" wasn't enough for me. As a creative, I felt pressured by that especially being surrounded by my much more successful friends with their sky-high follower counts and paychecks from their work. "You can be great, get paid for your work, get paid for your work!" That's the mantra that I was using to pressure myself. I did the whole professional author page, with a smiling stage "author pic". Then I created another small business and different blog which I let fail quickly. We know that's what happens when you aren't fully committed to the cause. While eventually that might be the goal in the future, I've accepted that's not truly where I want to be right now , that's not how my heart is in the creative work. In fact over the last year and a half I've learned where my heart is on a lot of things. That's where the name came from. Candor meaning , "open and honest expression". I told my mother that I feel like I'm in an honest place in my life right now. Nearing the end of my undergraduate career , I'm participating in a time of revolution both political and internal.
So much of our identity is intertwined in our art. Me: I'm the ever-introverted-open minded-extremely concious- with a voice that is a thousand times louder on paper and a million times if it's in a poem. I'm the one who notices that the girl next to me in class has a streak of pink in her hair and I wonder how much time it took her to dye it and how much more it takes for her to hide it. She's is my next poem or maybe my next performance piece.
So here I am, no gimmicks, not trying to make millions just yet. I am here doing what I've always done. Doing what I've always loved- creating , creating, creating.
I'm glad you're here too.
