Four in a Row
[King and Blackberry are chilling on the couch, watching some gruesome shows. Bonecrusher's out like a light in the recliner chair, dreaming up something wonderful.]
D!BC: ...see? that's exactly what i was describing to you. rip a guy's jaws apart and he won't be doing much insultin', huh?
A!RJ!BC: Primus alive... why did I wake up and watch this with you?
D!BC: i felt like watching something entertaining.
A!RJ!BC: This is entertaining to you??
D!BC: ...well, i found the gore pretty engaging. the writing's terrible, though.
A!RJ!BC: Well, yeah, you can't follow up a question with five more questions from other people. Only a dipshit would do that.
D!BC: [sarcastic smile.] you're aware of the fourth wall, right?
A!RJ!BC: How else would we be here, talking to eachother?
D!BC: good point.
[A loud bang echoes throughout the base. Something's approached the bunker door, and it seems it's grumpy.]
D!BC: ...speaking of the fourth wall.
BC: [speaking of grumpy. bonecrusher's awake.] who's,,, breaking pots outside?
D!BC: not sure. going to check.
[King gets off of the couch, and approaches the bunker door lever. He lifts it up.]
A!BC: What did the five fingers say to the face?
D!BC: are you in for a penny or in for a pound?
A!BC: I'm in for a drink. Long day, you know how it is.
A!RJ!BC: Is Rocketjumper with you?
A!BC: Tch. I wish. If I had known you'd been here, I woulda woken her up. Can't wake a lion and not expect to lose some fingers, though.
A!RJ!BC: Thank Pr-
BC: okay. hold the fuck on. why are there four of me in my base now? is this some sore of fucking joke?
A!BC: No, but you became one.
'
[An air of silence fills the room.]
,
BC: i'm going to act as if i didn't just get insulted by the world's most boring transformer.
A!BC: I hope you're a theater kid. What flavors of energon've y'all got?
A!RJ!BC: A lot. We got orange pekoe, black coffee, toxic sludge, barbed wire, milf milk, raspberry, cranberry-flavored ketchup mix, regular, grape-
A!BC: 'Milf milk'?
D!BC: the only one you questioned there was 'milf milk'?
A!RJ!BC: I swear to Primus, if I get interrupted three times in one day, I'm killing all three of you. No cap. ... A!RJ!BC: Anyways, we also got battery acid, root beer float, milk, chocolate milk, and a bunch more. Continue.
A!BC: What does 'milf milk' taste like?
BC: it tastes like rocketjumper's breast milk. since you've never tasted that before, here's a translation: it's really fuckin' minty and sugary. tastes great.
D!BC: we're not giving any of the milf milk flavored energon to you as a joke.
A!BC: ...Yeah, I'll accept that.
A!RJ!BC: So why are you here?
A!BC: Hiding from the DJD. Those rat bastards are tryna hunt me down for tax evasion.
D!BC: tax evasion. you're fucking serious? not even arson?
A!BC: Not even arson, Tarn took my tax evasion personally. Close that fucking door.
[bonecrusher closes the door.]
A!BC: Thank you. I woulda said that I was here to kill you three for whatever reason, but I don't listen to non-euclidean voices ordering me around. Now, what... the fuck is on the television?
D!BC: me and blackberry -
A!RJ!BC: - That's my new nickname, by the way. -
D!BC: - were watching some gorey movies while bonecrusher took a nap. that is a human's insides.
A!BC: [Rubbing his face:] ...Why?
D!BC: i like learning about other species through very very gorey movies. i also like shitting on terrible writing.
A!BC: ...that. That makes zero sense, but alright. So, besides you three, are there any... uhm. Any... fuck! What's that one word??
BC: clone, copypaste or twin?
A!BC: Yeah, those work. Are there any other clones in here, or bots who share similar frames?
BC: we have three rocketjumpers.
A!BC: [mild brain bluescreen.] THREE. ROCKETJUMPERS.
A!RJ!BC: Yeah... two of them are Autobots, and one is a Decepticon. Guess which one is the most rotten.
A!BC: The brainwashed one.
D!BC: ding ding ding.
A!BC: How many of them are asleep?
BC: one of them's in a pain coma (not dead. yet.), another's in a sex coma, and cake's... well, i have no idea where cake went.
Cake, popping in from the hallway: I'm right here. Hi, fellas.
D!BC, BC: hi, cake.
Cake: I'll be laying down with Rockie if any of y'all need me. [She disappears back into the hallway.]
BC: ...well, there she was. whaddaya think?
A!BC: She seems rather chipper... tall, and cubic. Why is her armor angled like that?
BC: i don't know. i find it pretty attractive, though.
D!BC: [nod.] so, blue eyes beige dragon, would you like an endearing nickname?
A!BC: ...Hmm... yeah. What about...,,,,,,,, [His mind trails off.] ... ...
A!BC: Would 'Country Roads' work?
D!BC: absolutely.
A!RJ!BC: Fuck yeah, dude. [grabbin' an energon cube out of the cupboard]
BC: 'country roads' is a powerful nickname lmao. badass.
A!BC: Alright, nice. Are there any other copypaste frames in here, by chance?
BC: ...the closest to 'copypaste frames' we probably have are the german tank brothers and the dump truck brothers. otherwise, i don't think so.
A!BC: Intriguing. Where... would be the most comfortable place to sleep?
D!BC: the couch is pretty comfy. though, there's also rocketjumper, she's also very comfy.
A!RJ!BC: ALL of the beds are comfy as hell as well.
BC: the snow also happens to be... mildly comfy. if you're okay with sleeping in the brutal cold.
A!BC: I think I'll take my place on the couch.
D!BC: excellent choice.
[Blackberry's spontaneously disappeared into Bonecrusher's room. Bonecrusher's followed him, naturally.]
A!BC: ...Are... Are these fellows trustworthy?
D!BC: [taking a seat in the recliner chair:] guaranteed. they wouldn't hurt a single fiber of your being, unless you get grumpy.
A!BC: That's nice. Hopefully Tarn doesn't find us.
D!BC: we'll be fine.
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