Today, I had my Peer Support Worker training. I really wasn’t in to it.
I did no exercise.
I got an Apple Watch 11 on Saturday and it won’t connect to my data/cellular plan. I’ve spoken to 3 different people. It worked for 5 minutes and then stopped again - of course just after the technician hung up. So now, I’m waiting for another call. If they can’t fix it, I’m done. It’s getting returned. I’ve already spent way too much time on this.
Health Update:
My oncologist thinks the oral chemotherapy isn’t working at all anymore. I’m getting switched to the new treatment. It’s a targeted therapy called capivasertib along with fulvestrant.
Fulvestrant is a shot that is administered into both butt cheeks - right into the ass muscles. Apparently, it’s slow and painful. Good times. My labs are showing that I’m post-menopausal but I still need this once a month to clean up any extra estrogen that my body may be making (in adrenal glands, fat tissue, etc). Capivasertib is an AKT inhibitor that comes in a pill form. This is my last opportunity to get treatment via pill. Apparently, it gives everyone the diabeetush (said like Wilford Brimley). So I need to test my blood sugar levels at home consistently and follow a diabetic diet. It can also give a horrible rash that’s only treatable by steroids. A lot of women also complain of the runs and nausea/barfing. Awesome stuff.
My oncologist doesn’t feel super hopeful with this drug. He certainly didn’t set me up to have high expectations. I started to feel scared and said maybe I should just continue for a few more months on the capecetabine to make sure. His reply: “It’s not going to start magically working for you, again.“
I’m glad he’s direct and doesn’t beat around the bush… but still. That was hard to hear.
Favourable results tend be with people who go on capivasertib sooner than later. So it’s better to switch as soon as possible. My oncologist has scheduled follow up scans for the end of January. I’m also getting my Zometa (bone strengthener) IV infusion next month after having an additional 3 month hiatus (6 month break in total). I took a break because I got more pain when it’s supposed to help with pain. Now, I’m wondering if the pain is from progression. I’ll soon find out.
If Capivasertib doesn’t work, I’m back in the chair getting IV treatment for the rest of my life.
I will lose my hair.
I will look like a sick person.
This is will be my third line of treatment. Each line tends to get weaker results. Naturally, I’m stressed and worried. I’ve been an absolute sad-sack all day. I’m allowing myself some time to be miserable.
Tomorrow, I aim to switch to a hopeful mindset.
Here’s my “positive thinking” pep-talk…
Maybe, this is my “third time’s a charm” and will be my cure. We never know what’s going to happen with this disease. I’ve seen women come back from the brink and then suddenly go into NED (no evidence of disease) after a decade+ of IV treatments. Not only do they recover, some go back to work, travel, get married and live their life like a “normal” person. It’s like they truly got a second chance. It’s completely bizarre but amazing.
I was diagnosed metastatic 4 years, 7 months and 2 days ago. When I was first diagnosed, I said my goal was to make it to 50. Now, my goal is to be cured by 50. So if this next treatment doesn’t work, then maybe it’s just not the drug to get me into remission. There’s at least 2 decent IV treatment contenders that have worked for thousands of people that I can try after this. I don’t want to lose my hair but it’s a small price to pay if it gives me more time. Besides, everyone said I looked great bald! Ha. Ha. Regardless, I didn’t exactly love being bald so I’ll just have to look into some fun wigs. Also, one of the IV drugs will likely give me great skin. lol. I know this because when I went through chemo the first time, everyone kept complimenting me on my skin (plus it completely cured my psoriasis).
Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself thinking about IV chemo but for me, I like to think ahead about the “what ifs” and worst case scenarios. It gives me a sense of control. As small as it is.
I did have a discussion with ChatGPT to make sure I was making the right choice. It seemed to think it was the best decision. I’d like to think I can trust a robot that knows all the information in the world (provided on the Internet). lol.
So that’s it. I should be getting a call this week about when to get my butt shots and meds. I imagine I’ll be starting next week. In the meantime, I’ll be continuing to stay busy.
Tomorrow, I have a cram-packed day.
First thing in the morning I’ll be talking to the Art Therapist so I can dump all this onto her and then I’ll get to paint. lol.
