New Dynamics
He supposed that this meeting had been a long time coming. Barnes had been avoiding meeting with Steve at first because he wasn’t sure if the kill order was completely gone from his mental conditioning. Then he’d been avoiding Steve because as memories came back, it had been very evident that who he was now and who he used to be were very different people. Barnes carried some traits and memories of Bucky but Bucky had none of the experiences or hurts that Barnes had been through. Also, Bucky hadn’t had a high-powered metal arm but that was neither here nor there.
When he was sure that he could pass as something like a regular person, Barnes had contact Steve. Just an email, asking if Steve wanted to talk. Barnes was still wary of anybody trying to tail and bag him, so he’d invited Steve over to his apartment in Brooklyn. They could talk without being monitored. He’d like to think that one day, Barnes would be less paranoid but in his heart he knew that he was probably going to be looking over his shoulder for the rest of his life.
He puttered around his place, tidying things that didn’t need to be tidied as he waited for Steve to arrive. He futzed with the coffee maker, making himself a cup and promptly forgetting about it to fret over the contents of his refrigerator, then despaired over the cold coffee and made himself another. Fuck. Why was he nervous? Memories told him that Steve was his friend, his best friend. His gut warned him that things wouldn’t be the same. They’d practically lived life times separate from one another and the dynamic was different. Barnes sipped his too-hot coffee and winced, both at the scald to his mouth and the thought of being rejected for friendship.
Barnes leaned back against the counter and sighed, tipping his head back. Hopefully this all went well.
