#captain arran

[mistmantlenonsense]

Brother Fir: it’s time to say your vows

Padra: *pulls out 10 pages essay* don’t be intimidated Arran. I just wrote down whatever came to mind

Arran: *pulls out three ring binder* oh babe, this is gonna be embarrassing for you

[mistmantlenonsense]

Crispin: Are you two fighting or flirting?

Arran: We are fighting

Padra: We are flirting

[mistmantlenonsense]

Padra: Where's Swanfeather?

Arran: Fingal is teaching her to drive.

Padra: Fingal. Fingal. Is teaching Swanfeather. To drive.

Arran:

Arran: Oh no.

[Meanwhile]

Fingal: So there's two pedals. Sometimes there's three, but you can ignore the left ones.

Swanfeather: 'Kay

Fingal: The lines on the road are more suggestions than anything, same with the speed limit.

Swanfeather: Sweet.

Fingal: This switch is for the blinkers. hasn't worked in two years. Ready?

Swanfeather: Fuck yeah!

Fingal: GO GO GO

Swanfeather, flooring it: *pterodactyl screeching*

[mistmantlenonsense]

Arran: Sorry about this.

Padra: It's okay, maybe when we're married—

Arran: When we're-?

Padra: -merry! When we're very merry Christmas!

[mistmantlenonsense]

*on the phone*

Padra: Crispin I need you to come pick me up

Crispin: Why?

Padra: Arran is passive aggressively washing the dishes she asked me to do 6 hours ago

Padra: This house isn’t safe anymore

[mistmantlenonsense]

Crispin: What does "take out" mean?

Arran: Food

Padra: Dating

Husk: Murder

Lugg: It can be all three if you're bold enough

[mistmantlenonsense]

Crispin: we were helping Padra write his vows, but he kicked us out because Fingal kept making inappropriate suggestions

Fingal: how is "Arran, i love your sweet ass" inappropriate?

[mistmantlenonsense]

Arran: I know this is the wrong thing to take away from the case board but I love the new yarn you're using

Lugg: It has sparkles in it

Arran: I noticed