#captain hulk

[samtalksfunny]

New Meta: If Bruce swapped places with Steve

Sam: What is Steve's huge power, anyhow? The Hulk is clearly more badass than ANYONE, with one minor flaw.

Nony: Also functionally immortal.

Sam: So why the Hulk angst? What the hell, people. Steve is basically barely better than a normal human, he just got to get over his illnesses and is a symbol.

Fahre: Steve's power is totally lapdancing.

Sam: I would not want a lap dance from the Hulk.

Nony: Just imagine the Hulk trying to dance with a chorus line in tights. It would not go as well as Steve's time as a chorus girl.

Sam: Oh my god, someone write that fic. Where it's not Steve but Bruce back in the day who got the serum. Still teams up with Dugan because Dugan used to be in the circus so he knows how to wrangle elephants. 'Same principle with the Hulk,' he says.

Nony: They try to make awkward normal Bruce dance. When he hulks out, it turns out the guy who designed his tights is the real genius in all this.

[justaguyfrombrooklyn-archiv-blog]

GOODBYE

Steve was trapped. There was no way out. Somehow he managed to find himself stuck on a plane that was going to crash. There were no more parachutes since he gave his to a kid who was running around without one. Steve would do anything to save people’s lives and sometimes it got the best of him but there was no way he was going to watch a child die. The plane was going down fast and he knew he wasn’t going to survive. He had time to make one last call and that was to someone really important to him. He dialed Bruces number and waited, only to be stuck with the answering machine. 

“Bruce. Oh god… Bruce…” Steve spoke with pain in his voice. “How do I even say this? You’ve gone through so much and lost so many people… I’m so sorry. It turns out I’m not going to make it to California after all or ever make it home. I’m just so sorry.” Steve was having trouble finding the words, it didn’t help that he now had tears running down his cheeks. “The plane…. It’s going to crash. They didn’t have enough parachutes and well you know me….” He paused, sniffling. “I’m not going to make it. I just know it. This is the time. Never in my life have I been so scared. I don’t want to die. I know it’s selfish considering my age but I can’t die. I promised you a normal life. I promised to show you the world and now I can’t. I’m so sorry Bruce.” Steve was now sobbing, curled up in the corner of the plane farthest from the front. “I love you Bruce. I love you so much. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I was going to buy a ring in California to propose… Guess now it’s too late.” Steve closed his eyes tight hoping to wake up from this horrible nightmare. “I need you to do something for me. I need you to stay strong. Can you do that? I know you’re going to try to find some way to blame this on yourself but NONE of this is your fault okay? Nothing is ever your fault. Even when the Hulk is out.” He paused, noticing how close they were getting to crashing. “I want you to know that I think you’re perfect, please don’t ever change. I love both you and the Hulk. Never forget that. Keep your head up high and ignore the haters since you’re much better then them. You’re a hero not a monster got it?” Steve said through sobs. “Please don’t isolate yourself, you are just so wonderful and kind and you deserve all the happiness in the world. Someone else is out there for you, don’t push them away. Allow yourself to be happy. Please. Honour me that way. Anyways, I have to go now. I love you.” Steve hung up just in time as the plane crashed right after. 

[fluxcapasitor]

Riddle me this.

So in the avengers, We have Black Widow, Iron Man, The Hulk, Captain America, Hawkeye and Thor. 5 out of six of these are superheros, the other is a Demi-God. How are they going to balance that? Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate that the other avengers are hard as fuck an all, but You'd think Thor would be above and beyond, what with him being a Demi-God. iDunno. Anyone?