May I suggest an au where Red, Purple and imp!Green are in a polycule?🥹🥹
I need all of you to stop enabling my bullshit.
● Purple is SO exasperated with both of them. Green follows Red around like the sun shines out of Red's butt and of course Red would loooooove having another naive, idealistic footstool hanging onto their every LIE.
● But the funny thing is, Imp!Green and Red are both using each other?? Imp!Green is using Red as a cover, and being on the Captain's good side would mean a better chance of them surviving until everyone is dead. Meanwhile, Red literally uses every opportunity to talk about Purple to Green, like how the person you're dating goes on and on about an ex they're still pining after bcos they wanna prove they're doing better than that ex.
● And the funnier thing about Red using (Imp!)Green to process their feelings about Purple, is that (Imp!)Green actually likes Purple more?? THE MONSTER THINKS YOU'RE CLEVER. YOU ARE SO VERY CLEVER. The condescending, teasing way Impostor Green talks to Purple lives in my brain, I hope Red was jealous. I hope Red was seething.
● Purple is their middle. Impostor Green grabs their cute, clever face and coos at their adorable little brain while holding Red down so they can watch.
But if you want soft polycule, Anon, I do have the Polus AU of them. Which is a bit better?