#carcinoid

[drondskaath]

Carcinoid | Encomium to Extinction | 16th November, 2023

Australian Death/Doom Metal

Artwork by Necro Frost

[malevolentstrains]

Black and Death metal posters 2022 and 2023

[festering-cadaver]

[albumarchives]

Carcinoid | Metastatic Declination (2019)

[verynicedeathmetalveryverynice]

[juxtaposedsabotage]

Click here to support Military Father With Cancer Loses Home To Fire organized by Jenna Sabo

On November 20th, 2014, my parent’s house caught fire. It started in the bathroom before spreading to adjacent rooms and the attic. Thankfully, no one was home and all the animals made it out okay. But the damage was extensive to the interior, roof, and damage downstairs due to water from the fir...

Hey guys, if you could help my family out, I would greatly appreciate it! Between battling cancer and a house fire, it’s been difficult scraping by for my family. It’s finally at a breaking point, so please take a look and help if you can. Thank you!

[adventures-or-death]

Mom Cancer and Me

2/27/2019

My mother is battling two types of cancer. Non Hodgkins Lymphoma and a carcinoid tumor in her liver. The Lymphoma has been around for almost ten years growing from her colon to the back of her chest bone and as if last week, it’s now showing up in a lymph node somewhere near her left hip. The carcinoid is a different story. It’s has a fast growing tumor that needs to be dealt with immediately.  I’m my Mother’s sole caretaker. She lives with me and my husband. My husband is barely equipped to take care of himself right now let alone support me, so I feel alone in this unknown sea of taking care of a parent with a terminal illness. My brother lives seven miles away but rarely comes to visit. My sister lives in another state and hasn’t called since I dropped the latest news that Mom has to have a chemo port installed in to her body so the doctors can pump chemo straight to in to her blood stream. What do I do? I stress and cry and now I write. Taking my thoughts from my head to paper (or blog in this case) has always helped me cope. Even as a kid, when I was feeling bad, I would write things down to feel better. Tumblr is the only blog space I have kept over the years, so this is where I’ll drop off my thoughts while going through this really terrible experience. More to come...

[roadtomotherhood]

I just need to get this out

My Dad was placed on Hospice today. The doctors have given him a month at most to live. I've spent the entire day crying because tomorrow I have to be there for my Mom. Tonight is for me.

It's a tough pill to swallow knowing I've had my last Christmas with my father. It's so hard knowing that this Thanksgiving there will be one less person at the table. My Dad can't talk anymore and he's not always 100% there. Only a few weeks ago I was in his hospital room and we were having our last conversation. We sat for hours watching coverage on Hurricane Harvey. If I had known that was the last real conversation I would have with him, I would have taken more time to appreciate it. He and I were just talking, like we used to. I didn't find any significance in what we were doing, but now it means the world to me.

The worst part of this entire ordeal, is that my Dad is going to miss the birth of my first child. He was such a rock during the entire two year journey with infertility. He was so excited to find out I was finally pregnant. I've stared at a text message from him all day that said "I can't wait to hold my next grandchild."

He won't get to hold her, though. He won't even be able to see her perfect face. I can't help but feel angry and cheated. I had long since come to terms with the fact that my Baby girl will not grow up knowing her Poppy, but I never dreamed he'd miss her.

He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve the pain. He doesn't deserve knowing that his moments are limited. He doesn't deserve cancer. He is one of the greatest men I've ever known. He will literally give you the shirt off of his back. While he was taking cancer and going to weekly doctor appointments, he still found time go out with his church and help the homeless in our community. He kept a positive attitude throughout this entire process and even coached a few friends until they went into remission. Why did it have to pick him?

This is going to be a long few weeks, but I already know it will go by far to quick for my liking. I have to learn to live without a father. I can't let his death overshadow the joy of Lily's birth. He would be so mad if I ever let that happen. I know time will heal the wounds and that it will get easier in time. I will get through this.

I just don't know how.