Road to Motherhood @roadtomotherhood - Tumblr Blog

I'm having so much anxiety. My MIL is in town and my husband is taking the kids to see her while I stay home and roleplay with my new group. We've been having so many problems recently that I just know he'll be unloading at her. I know that's what Moms are for, but I'm still experiencing so much anxiety that he'll be taking to someone other than me. Especially because his Mom likes me and we're like family, but what if what he says makes her hate me? Or tell him that he needs to leave me. I mean, our problems aren't bad, just that I'm so terrible at remembering everything and I put off stuff until the last minute.

Honestly he's probably going to complain more about his job, but I just know with the arguments we've had recently it will come up.

It's days like tonight, where I'm questioning my entire relationship and I'm not sure if my husband will stay with me, where I really miss my Dad. Seriously, I really need some sound advice and he was always my go to.

I'm so done with sleep regressions. All of my hard work down the drain. Now that he can crawl, screw sleep. It's passed midnight and this kid has been up every 30 minutes.

I absolutely do not compare my kids, but I seriously wish he slept as well as Lily. 😭😭

roadtomotherhood

This sleep regression is going to kill me. This child won't sleep unless I'm rubbing his back, head, butt etc. He's been up since 3, he's been changed and fed. He just doesn't want to go the fuck back to sleep. I'm now working again, so I have to be out of the house by 7 every morning.

On top of that my husband is bitching because the baby has been up since 3. Yeah, I'm fucking aware of it. I can't make him stop crying, he has to do that himself.

I'm just reaching the end or my rope faster. The dark thoughts I have tend to come back quicker and more easily in the middle of the night.

roadtomotherhood

I finally got this child to sleep, settled back in bed to maybe catch another hour and a half of sleep, then the mother fucking dog need to go outside. And the cat wants fed. And at this point I don't even know why I try and get a healthy amount of sleep because clearly the world has it out for me.

This sleep regression is going to kill me. This child won't sleep unless I'm rubbing his back, head, butt etc. He's been up since 3, he's been changed and fed. He just doesn't want to go the fuck back to sleep. I'm now working again, so I have to be out of the house by 7 every morning.

On top of that my husband is bitching because the baby has been up since 3. Yeah, I'm fucking aware of it. I can't make him stop crying, he has to do that himself.

I'm just reaching the end or my rope faster. The dark thoughts I have tend to come back quicker and more easily in the middle of the night.

My kid: Cuddle me Mommy I'm tired

Also my kid: Unhand me woman! You are putting me to sleep.

I got the job!

As of Wednesday I will officially be employed again! Hello Money, hello adult life, hello enjoying my kids again. Working gives me a real opportunity to miss them.

I'm so happy I could cry. 😀😀😭😭

roadtomotherhood

I'm currently sitting in my daughter's room sick to my stomach because there is a thumb tack lost in here. All my mind can focus on is that she or RJ will find it, eat it, and then won't survive because I won't realize something is wrong. My husband isn't due home for another hour. I'm just trying to hold it together until then. He'll be able to watch the kids and I can tear Lily's room apart.

It's days like today when those dark "I wish I never had kids" thoughts start to come back. Excuse me while I go puke now. 😭😭

roadtomotherhood

Found it. Still a total wreck but I found it.

I'm currently sitting in my daughter's room sick to my stomach because there is a thumb tack lost in here. All my mind can focus on is that she or RJ will find it, eat it, and then won't survive because I won't realize something is wrong. My husband isn't due home for another hour. I'm just trying to hold it together until then. He'll be able to watch the kids and I can tear Lily's room apart.

It's days like today when those dark "I wish I never had kids" thoughts start to come back. Excuse me while I go puke now. 😭😭

Not to toot my own horn, but I just nailed that interview!

Phone Interview!

I am so nervous ya'll!

I was riding the high of another interview until my daughter dove off the couch. Now I have an irritable toddler with a knot on her head and a baby who won't just eat his bottle.

Lord help me, the anger issues are coming up.

I received a rejection letter for a job today. I was extremely bummed and it was causing some anxiety and depression over myself to happen. I sucked it up, though, and sent a thank you email.

I now have an interview for a different position with the same company. Clearly I made an impression.

I had a win yesterday. My Aunt is in the hospital, so I drove my mom up to Kansas to see her. I stayed at my other Aunt's house while they went to the hospital. I even took both kids with me.

I socialized, I laughed, I let my daughter just have fun and play with her cousins, my son got to play with the other adults and laugh at the big kids, and I came home still feeling good. Getting out and seeing family was really refreshing. It Lso gave my husband an evening to wind down and relax too.

I'm going to try and carry this good mood all the way into the weekend.

I've been laying in the floor for 30 minutes trying to find motivation to get up. I think my interview yesterday took more out of me than I realized. I might need to start using spoons again.

Kids went to daycare today because they were doing fine. No rash, no fevers, no issues. Pick them up from daycare and the oldest has a rash on her privates, some spots on her fingers, and she threw up before bed. She's incredibly clingy and clearly doesn't feel well.

Guys.... I think I just sent the plague (Hand, Foot, and Mouth disease) to daycare. Like.... They were fine. Then everything just went to hell.

Mom of the year, ladies and gentlemen.

Guys... It's 8:05pm and my kid is in bed. What is this sorcery!?

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

Road to Motherhood