To preface this, this is not at all meant to be a response, retort or anything to the post on this topic that had us internally talking about it and quite frankly, that post is fair and they have a right to say it, so our direct commentary on that will end there
But when the topic of "unforgivable parts" come up, Riku and I always look at one another and go ".... ehhhh" and have a short sentimental giggle cause as far as parts doing horrible shit to another, we both have piles of dirt on the other that we wouldnt be wrong at all for being angry at each other about. I'm a lot more of a typical sounding "ex persecutor" (I dont ID with the term because I dont agree with the term as a role in the first place beyond system community common verbage) but a case could be made that Riku was by far a worse one - a thing theyd admit. The whole dynamic of ours is why we threw the role "persecutor" out the window and changed it to "persecutory behavior".
But anyways, we really fucked eachother up pretty bad and as far as other "persecutory" parts go, we've had some really really shitty internal interactions, one of which can be partially "blamed" for the reason "Riku" as a part is a subsystem - but honestly? I don't think our system has ever found something that was "unforgivable" if solely on the account that there really doesn't seem to be anything that we could do to one another that would allow us to foster that sort of self hate at this point in our healing as a system.
That being said, not all systems are equipt to handle the more extreme persecutors, not all systems are able to hold the understanding that even their most "atrocious parts" are still them, and just in general, the mind set is not practical or fit for every system in every situation and while theoretically you shouldnt force persecutors silent or whatever, chasing theoretical ideals when living as a system is honestly how you probably ended up with DID.
The need to live to a theoretical healthy standard and best practices is good and important to keep in mind, but you have to leave space for the reality of the moment as well as the genuine experiences that come with it and work with what you genuinely can give at the moment. Trying to work above that, 9/10 pushes and reinforces an EP/ANP divide that is foundational in DID so its important to learn to accept that while you know the theoretical healthy and best thing to do, from time to time you have to accept that you AREN'T perfect and can't live to an ideal perfect standard of healing and that you first have to focus on the reality of your moment and what you can bear right now.
You are allowed to experience your mental illness as a mental illness and honestly, people who criticize you healing "imperfectly" really need to focus on themselves and their own life rather than people on the internet (exceptions apply imo but thats another topic)
... lol this post went an entirely different way than I intended, cause I was originally planning on talking about persecutors and the nuances of their behavior as I'm our systems "persecutor wrangler" but I think what ended up being said is more important anyways lol
Anyways, thats my gym cardio ramble of the day.