#carfarts

[gassyguys]

I see why nobody likes to ride with me #fartcam #fartvine #carfarts #exhale #relief #wheresbae #foreveralone #thatsfine #gassyguys

[gassyguys]

Silent but fckin deadly !! 😂💨☺️😜 #fartsarealwaysfunny #fartsarefunny #silentbutdeadly #carfarts

[gassyguys]

One continuous Ass blast 😭😭😂 My farts speak to me in complete sentences 💨 #fartsarealwaysfunny #gassyguys #afterworkgas #carfarts

[gassyguys]

One continuous Ass blast 😭😭😂 My farts speak to me in complete sentences 💨 #fartsarealwaysfunny #gassyguys #afterworkgas #carfarts

[gassyguys]

One continuous Ass blast 😭😭😂 My farts speak to me in complete sentences 💨 #fartsarealwaysfunny #gassyguys #afterworkgas #carfarts

[barleenflanders]

Typical Public Pooping Embarassments

As much as it stresses me out, I was forced into taking a pewp at work tonight. My blood pressure and stress levels shoot up very high whenever I am reminded that other human beings are free to conjure an image of what I look like  while sitting on the toilet. Anyway, my whole day was topsy turvy, so there’s no reason why my bowels should escape the same misery my mind and heart were experiencing on this Tuesday October 20, 2015. #sarcasm

The ONLY thing on my schedule was a 7pm meeting. After a mostly lazy day of naps and a skipped lunch, I needed sustenance before the meeting!  Boiled lentils mixed together with steamed rice, and also, a half of banana. Bad idea.  Alack the day. Too much roughage.  Especially because yesterday, both meals were comprised of green salads, just to give you some perspective of my intestines. Isn’t hindsight 20/20?

While driving to the 7pm meeting, after I consumed said lentils and rice, some very foreboding peristalsys cramps presented themselves in the form of car-farts. Boy did they stink to High Heavens.  Yet,  no matter, since I was alone! But were these noxious car-farts a portent? An omen? Yes, they were.  Intestinal embarassment was lurking for me, just around the corner, IN FRONT OF MY CO-WORKERS.  When I got to the meeting, I noticed it was 6:57 pm. Three minutes were all I needed. I slipped into the biffy, sat down on the john very quickly/without applying the tissue paper "butt gasket" and coiled out a satisfying length of turd that was by most accounts surprising. Here I was in an episode of bona fide surprise diarrhea. Thank goodness I took these scant 3 minutes before the meeting to deposit such a rope-like waste followed by all the bathwater slowly and finally leaking from my bowels. 

In closing, however, I still feel dirty.  I sat on a possibly unclean toilet seat without a proper tissuepaper butt gasket to protect the skin on my buttock and thighs from  possible germs.  The shitter before me may have left behind crabs or ebola. No matter what I may have been exposed to,  I was alone during my entire shit, and that’s saying something nowadays when someone is always in your way when you’re trying to do something. But remember,  I produced my bowel movement in total privacy--nobody else heard or smelled me producing my shameful turds in the ladies room.  Unfortunately, my "unprotected" act of public shitting has me worried about heretofore unknown diseases from a public restroom's toilet seat.

[joeyjenrette]

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#GreenCoveRaceway #Drift #drifting #laughing #backfiring #carfarts