Reason #1,245
So apparently last night, I have no recollection of this, I was sleeping and my beautiful bride, the perfect human being to whom I am married, the mother of my children, the goddess of my gonads, the lady of my loins, a literal Aphrodite made flesh, ripped a fart so loud it woke me from my slumber and I reached over and gently patted her stomach and promptly drifted back off into a slumber filled with images of her beauty.
To top it off... This morning, Lord I have no idea what this woman ate, our laundry room shares a wall with out master bathroom. I'm in there putting some dirty clothes into the hamper when I hear a muffled yet some how amplified, bbbrrrrreeeuuuuurrrttt through the wall. I cackled so loud I think my grandmother who left this world when I was 9, heard me.
