Summary: Dean gets fed up and tracks down Benny to have a little chat. Some life-altering information from Cas sends Benny running home, but he doesn’t receive the warm welcome anyone expected. Cas proves himself.
Pairing: Benny x Reader
Word Count: 3,400
Warnings: language, angst, arguing... feelings
A/N: so here is part 10 because I feel awful leaving everyone hanging from part 9. Not that things get much better, but... whatever. This one’s rather longer, mostly because there was a lot of conversation to fit in... enjoy. Don’t hate me. I love you guys.
One of These Nights Masterlist
Dean sighed, signaling Sam silently with a wave. His brother was sprawled out the length of the couch, and you'd tucked yourself between him and the back cushions, curled against his chest. Sam had a protective arm around you, and he glanced down in concern before looking back up to Dean. You couldn't be alone anymore or you'd have panic attacks, and close contact seemed to help keep you grounded. You were broken inside, and Sam and Dean were the only things that seemed to make it any better. Needless to say they had taken that responsibility very seriously.
Dean held up two fingers to say he'd be back in two hours, tops, and Sam nodded. It had been a couple weeks, and the tears had stopped for the most part, but the pain hadn't. Now you barely ate, barely slept, barely spoke.
"You ready?" Dean asked Cas gruffly when he got back into the kitchen.
"Yes. How is she?" He asked, following Dean into the garage.
"Asleep. Which is an improvement over the silence and blank stares… sort of."
"You're worried," the angel observed.
"Of course I'm worried, Cas!" Dean fumed, "Benny ran off to god knows where, Y/N's messed up and I'm not sure she'll ever be the same after this."
"I am sure he had a good reason for leaving," Cas muttered, looking away as they stepped outside. Dean glanced at his friend sharply.
"You never liked him, Cas. I know that."
"I appreciate what he did for you, and you are correct in saying I did not like him while we were in purgatory. But he was different with Y/N. I believe they belonged together."
"Oh great. Well that just solves everything, doesn't it? Do me a favor and don't tell Y/N that they were fucking soulmates," Dean grumbled, rolling his eyes. He loved Cas almost as much as Sam, but this was exactly why he wasn't the one left alone with you. Cas raised an eyebrow as if he'd heard Dean's thoughts.
"I can help her too, Dean…" he said quietly, his voice softening, "I care for her just as you and Sam do." Dean's mind flashed back to a rather drunken night a few years back, and he was pretty sure Cas had never done any of that with you. But he shrugged. He wouldn't stop him from trying.
"Alright, you said you could track him. Zap us there. We're gonna have a nice chat," Dean growled, checking his gun and the machete in his coat. After weeks of playing fair and trying to contact Benny the old fashioned way, Dean was done with waiting. And considering they had an angel complete with gps locating for anyone without enochian carved on their bones… well, Dean wasn't above using everything in his arsenal.
"That doesn't look like a chat-" Cas began, but Dean's glare cut him off. With a grimace, the angel touched two fingers to Dean's temple.
Dean took in their surroundings hurriedly. They were in what looked like a crappy motel room.
"He's here?" Dean asked skeptically, glancing around. There were clothes spilling out of a duffel bag, but the bed was made and the room otherwise appeared neat. That was, except for the whiskey bottles lining the counter of the kitchenette. Interesting…
"This is his room. He should be back shortly," Cas explained. As if on cue, they heard a car door slam outside. Dean hurriedly yanked a chair over, settling into a relaxed position with his boots up on the table. Cas leaned against the counter behind him, his arms crossed. At the last second, Dean laid his machete across his lap. The key turned in the lock, but Benny froze on the other side of the door. He could hear them. That was why Dean hadn't bothered to hide.
"Hey there Benny," Dean said easily as Benny slowly pushed the door open. The vampire froze, his eyes darting around the room before locking on Dean's. He was looking for any sign of you.
"What are you doing here brother?"
"You're kidding, right? Please tell me he's kidding," Dean said, turning to glance at Castiel, "you went AWOL, Benny. Did you really expect us not to come after you?"
"Chief, please just go," Benny said quietly, glancing nervously at the machete. Dean nearly exploded.
"Go?" He asked, his voice dangerously low, "what, like you did? Sneak out like a coward in the middle of the night, with no warning, no explanation, no discussion?"
"It wasn't a decision I made lightly," Benny tried to explain, but Dean cut him off as he got to his feet, his blade hanging loosely in his hand.
"Don't you dare tell me you had reasons for leaving her." Dean's face was a mask of cold rage as he spoke, his voice a low growl. "Because there is not a single good reason for throwing away what you had, for hurting her, or for abandoning your family."
Cas glanced sharply at Dean. He'd thought his friend was angry at Benny for hurting you, and clearly that was the case. But this went deeper. This was about family, something that ran deep in Dean's being, his soul. It was his very essence, and Benny had betrayed that.
Benny stared at Dean, his eyes full of sorrow.
"Walking out of that bunker was the hardest thing I've ever had to do," he began softly, looking away.
"You didn't have to do anything-"
"Yes I did, Chief! She could have been killed because of what I am! All of you almost died because some hunter found out what was going on. I can't let good people get hurt protecting me when I'm…" Benny trailed off, ripping his hat from his head and throwing it against the wall. He ran a hand through his hair as he turned back to Dean. "I'm a vampire, Dean. A monster. I'm one of the things you hunt and put down, and it's time somebody realized it."
"So that's what this is about…" Dean muttered, pacing in a small circle and rubbing his free hand across his face.
"You think I'd leave her over nothing?" Benny asked, the pain clear in his voice. "Dean I love that girl, and that's why I had to go."
"You realize she loves you too, right?" Dean asked quietly, "She's… she's messed up, Benny. Don't you think she should get a say in this whole mess? It's her life too."
"She would have let Martin kill her."
"We all would have! That's what you do for family!" Dean shouted, taking a few aggressive steps towards his friend.
"Don't you understand that I can't live with that?"
"And yet you strolled right on up to the fucking guillotine to save her. How's she supposed to live with it either?" Dean demanded, making Benny pause.
"Because I'm already a monster, Dean. I deserve to die for her," Benny said seriously, making Dean groan in frustration. They were just going in circles now.
"You need to talk to her about this. Then you'll see."
"I'm not going back there and giving her hope. This is what needs to happen, brother. Tell her I'm sorry. Tell her-"
"No. You wanna say something to her, do it yourself. I'm not being your damn messenger," Dean snarled, "I just wish you could see the mess you've caused. I wish you were the one that had to deal with the consequences." Benny's face fell at the words and he turned away. He'd hoped you'd recover quickly, learn to hate him maybe. "Last time she was like this, her father had been murdered in front of her. That's what you're doing to her. By choice."
"Chief, I have to-"
"No you don't, Benny! You really think it's safer for her with you gone? Not only does she have one less person looking out for her, but you know how reckless she can get. You think she's gonna be careful when she's miserable and broken hearted? You are family Benny. And family is stronger together. Besides… you don’t want her loving anyone else, and we all know it." Dean said the last part carefully, watching Benny tense at the words. Vampires were territorial, and he knew that was the way to get to his friend, even if it made him angry. "Though, you know, if she keeps sleeping in my bed, I'm gonna have a hard time saying no."
Dean was ready for the attack, but let Benny grab the front of his coat and throw him against the wall. The vamp was snarling, but only his human teeth were bared, so Dean continued to hold the machete loosely.
"Did you touch her?" Benny said through gritted teeth.
"What do you care, Benny? You're done with her," Dean continued taunting, grinning as Benny growled.
"Dean…" Benny warned.
"Not yet," Dean replied, purposely baiting him. Benny growled again, a low rumble in his chest. "Though I can't speak for Sammy. She's been sleepin' in his bed too." Benny's grip tightened, and Castiel straightened, ready to intervene if he had to.
"Your thirst has gotten worse since you left, hasn't it?" The angel cut in, making both hunter and vampire turn to him. "You've been trying to quench it with alcohol, but I doubt that has been working." Benny narrowed his eyes at the angel, and slowly released Dean.
"What's your point, Wings?"
"I do not believe I was pulled out of purgatory to save you for nothing," the angel mused, "and I believe that Y/N was somehow counteracting the effects of your vampirism. Possibly because the two of you are soulmates." Benny sucked in a sharp breath at the words and Dean rolled his eyes. Leave it to Cas to just casually mention something like that.
"Are you… are you sure?"
"Not entirely, but the evidence has become rather convincing."
In moments Benny had grabbed his things and Cas zapped them back outside the bunker. Dean punched in the code, glancing nervously at Benny.
"Listen man, I don't know how she'll react, so… be ready for anything," he said before opening the door, "and you better be sure about this. You can't leave again."
Benny nodded tightly as he stepped inside. Dean had made him realize that while his plan had noble intentions, it was delusional. Staying away from you wouldn't keep you safe, and wings was right, he was fighting the thirst worse than ever. His fangs ached in his gums just from being around Dean, which hadn't happened since they first met. But as soon as he was inside the bunker, every muscle relaxed and he could breathe easier.
The bunker had its own smell - whiskey and paper and leather and metal - but it also held a combination of all of their scents. It smelled like home, Benny realized as they walked towards the library. And that was something he hadn't had in a long time.
Anger and jealousy flared up in his chest when he finally saw you. You were lying on the couch with Sam, curled against his chest. You were pale, looked thinner, and there were dark circles under your eyes even though you were sleeping. Guilt replaced the anger as Sam saw him and tightened his arm around you protectively, his gaze suspicious.
"It's okay Sammy," Dean said quietly as Benny moved towards you. Sam slipped gently from your hold and Benny replaced him, taking a deep breath as your warmth and scent hit him.
Sam was moving, and it roused you slightly, but you were so exhausted and in your dreams things were back to normal. It was Benny there with you, snuggled against the couch, his hands warm on your back and his scent… The memory of it comforted you, soothing your aching heart. You sniffled a little as a single tear leaked out from your closed eyes, nuzzling against Sam's shirt.
Waking up was always the worst part, having to leave Benny in your dreams to find yourself alone again, and you'd begun to fear going to sleep altogether. It was why Sam had settled in beside you on the couch, knowing you felt safer with someone beside you. You didn't even sleep in your own bed anymore, ever since Dean had brought you to his room the night Benny vanished. The thought made your whole being ache, and a few more tears leaked from your eyes. Sam pulled you tighter against him, but it wasn't his voice that said, "shh darlin, it's okay."
Your eyes snapped open and you scrambled away to the other end of the couch, staring. Benny sat there, his blue eyes overwhelmingly sad.
"You're not real," you whispered, squeezing your eyes shut and willing yourself to wake up.
"Darlin, I'm so sorry…"
"SHUT UP!" You yelled, staggering to your feet, "You're not real!"
"Sweetheart, it's alright," Dean said. You ran to him, burying your face against his chest as he held you. He was the only thing left that kept you grounded. "Y/N, it's really Benny…" Dean said quietly. With a soft sniffle, you turned enough to see Benny where he stood next to the couch. He looked devastated at the sight of you pressed against Dean.
"What is he doing here?" You breathed. Your heart was screaming at you to run to him, but you'd built walls in the few weeks Benny had been gone. Walls to protect yourself.
"We talked some sense into him."
"I don't want someone who has to be talked into staying."
Benny flinched as if he'd been physically struck by your words, and you were surprised even by your own strength.
"That wasn't exactly the situation. Hear him out, sweetheart. For me." Dean sounded sort of sad, and you pulled away from him, wiping a sleeve across your face before crossing your arms. The hunter in you roared to life, spreading a cool calm feeling through your limbs. It was a defense mechanism in response to your fear, and with a deep breath you faced your monster.
"You've got a lot of nerve coming back here," you said when he remained silent.
"I'm sorry-"
"Yeah, you said that."
"Well it's true. I hate myself for hurting you, but I was trying to protect you."
"Protect me?" You echoed, your voice dangerously sharp, "I'm a hunter. I don't need anybody's damn protection!"
"You could have been killed because of me, darlin. Because of what I am."
"You're the fucking moron who was going to let them behead you!" You roared, fists clenched so hard that your nails bit into your palms. "They couldn't kill me, you idiot! If they killed me, they'd have to kill you and Sam and Dean and even then they'd have a whole mess of other hunters that would come after them! But you just gave the fuck up!"
"I couldnt-"
"Shut up! I'm not done yet," you snapped, making Benny flinch again. "Don't you dare claim you had to leave to keep me safe because that is the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard! This was never about me. It's about you."
"How's that, cher?" Benny asked. It alarmed you that he wasn't getting angry back at you, that he was just standing there taking it. Whenever you got this mad, he was usually the one to calm you down. Or give your shit right back to you. The two of you had argued before, and usually one of you caved, cracking a joke or a smile. But this was a whole new level of fighting.
"You're a coward," you said coldly. You'd considered holding your tongue, but he'd left you. Abandoned you without warning, without even giving you a reason. At least that got a response out of him. Benny stiffened, eyes flashing a little as he looked at you. "You're scared. That's why you left. Not because I was in danger, oh no, because you are a god damn coward. I don't know if you're scared of losing me, or just of responsibility and commitment, or maybe you really just can't get over yourself. No one cares you're a vampire! You don't even act like one anymore anyway..."
Benny clenched his jaw like you'd insulted his manhood, which, to be fair, you sort of had. You barely stopped yourself from taking a step back when he bared his teeth, fangs exposed in a low snarl. You hadn't seen those since... Well, since that werewolf case that turned out to be leviathans.
"You want me to act like a vampire, cher? Because I assure you, I am one," he growled, making an obvious effort to retract the fangs.
"I want you to stop being ashamed of who you are."
You'd clearly struck a nerve, since he froze, scowling a little at you, blue eyes revealing how much your comment hurt. When he turned away, you scoffed and shook your head. "That's what I thought..." you muttered before stalking off down the hall to your room. You slammed the door, leaning back against it and sinking to the floor. You may have acted tough out there, but that was just the hunter talking. Inside you were a sobbing mess, and as the adrenaline faded away, you were left there shaking and wiping at the tears that slipped down your cheeks.
You weren't even sure where all those words had come from, but apparently they were true. But why the hell couldn't you just be glad he was home? It was all you wanted, what you had wished for the past month.
A knock at the door made you jump and scrub at your face.
"What?" You snapped. Part of you desperately hoped it was Benny, furious and there to prove you wrong. You knew you'd let him. But it was Dean's voice that answered.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," you lied, hauling yourself to your feet. It was a clear dismissal, but it was a moment before you heard Dean's steps retreat down the hall. You looked around your room that you'd barely touched the past few weeks. It was a mess, and with a determined sigh, you set to work. By the time everything was put away and you'd showered, it was late. Without thinking too much about it, you crawled into bed. Dean would worry that you were alone, but it was time you stopped acting like a child.
But you lay there staring at the ceiling, wondering if Benny had left again. You might have driven him away with your cruel words, a thought that made you panic again. Even if you were angry and hurting, you didn't want him to go. But you couldn't go looking and either reveal your interest or find out he was really gone for good this time.
"Cas? Can you come in here?"
"Are you alright?" His gravelly voice asked, making you jump. That sure was a quick response time.
"Not really," you said, pulling your knees up to your chest.
"Is there anything I can do?" The angel asked seriously, brow furrowed.
"Is... Is Benny still here?" You whispered.
"Yes. I believe he is emptying the liquor cabinet," Cas replied, moving to sit at the foot of the bed. You squeezed your eyes shut in relief, and the angel noticed.
"Are you upset by this? We can make him leave if you wish."
"No!" You said a little too loudly, jerking forwards, "I don't want him to leave."
"I do not understand. You seemed very angry with him," Cas questioned, tilting his head slightly and making you sigh.
"I am angry," you muttered, running a hand over your face, "but... I don't want him to go."
"Ah, this is one of those situations where you hide your true feelings," he said, nodding in understanding. His phrasing made you smile a little, and you nodded.
"There's a lot going on between us, Cas. He hurt me, and I said some pretty terrible things to him earlier..."
"But you still love him." It wasn't a question, and you nodded again, tears filling your eyes. Cas looked like he wanted to say something else, but he just frowned a little. The panic was flaring up in your chest with renewed vigor, and you clamped down on the sob that threatened.
"Cas, can I have a hug?" You asked tightly. Cas looked concerned, and moved closer as the tears spilled down your face. He pulled you into his arms, letting you cry against his trench coat, silent as he held you. He stayed, stretching out on the bed to let you curl against him, your silent protector as you finally drifted off to sleep.
Cas holding Dean during his nightmares, while he shivers voilently Cas runs his hands down his back and through his hair to soothe him, using trace amounts of Grace as a soothing component almost like a salve. Quietly sitting with him as he tosses and turns and works himself up into feverish panic and all the while just gently being there.
Summary: Castiel has been photographing their ballet company for two years now and he and Dean have barely exchanged six words, and yet somehow when Dean breaks his leg, it's Castiel who takes him home from the hospital and takes care of him.
Thoughts: Sweet ficlet. Short read. Love insecure Dean and caring Cas!
