hello tumblr friends, i am alive! and here to rec a game to YOU SPECIFICALLY
(i.e. the people who follow me and have followed me through a series of fandoms over 15-odd years, both for reblogs and my own fanfic content. this is a rec for you, regardless of whether you are a gamer or not.)
it's called BALDUR'S GATE 3
it's a realistically-animated fantasy role playing game. which means you make a character, then play as them as you go on an EXTREMELY EPIC adventure. it's based on dungeons & dragons, so it's like playing d&d but in a movie-esque form. you don't need to know anything before you start. (you do need a PC or console with 8GB of RAM that can run a game.)
you collect friends, who you talk to along the way (the game provides sentences you can click, which sway the story). you get to know them, and help them fulfill their personal destinies. they start as utter disasters, and you gradually find out their damage, then you can assist them or turn them into worse messes, depending on what you choose.
and you fight monsters - either to rescue vulnerable people, or to be evil, again depending on what you want.
if you loved things like supernatural, star trek: deep space nine, or are an enjoyer of something like lord of the rings, you'd love this.
that's true whether you enjoyed the homey, comfy moments, the dark emotional depths, the comedic relief, the silly episodes with goofy characters, or the heart wrenching moral-questioning life-altering storylines.
the music, atmosphere, the depth of the characters?? the found family!!! the FOUND FAMILY!!!
and if you like schmoopy fanfic, this is for you. if you want your lil blorbo to kisskisssnuggle or perhaps bonk the other blorbo, you can do that. if you want to polyamory or threesome about it, for some characters, there are ways.
if you want to live vicariously as a genderswapped wizard version of you, this game is for you. if you want to mix and match gender and body presentations and masc-femme voice and clothing options, you can do that too.
if you want to observe your trauma expressed in a character and try and help them through it, without you needing to find the words to do so, in a way that is not you talking to someone about it directly, this exists as trauma processing on a cracker.
if you are spending your days bedrotting, scrolling on your phone, or watching things end to end and not knowing how to give yourself enrichment without leaving your home or expending precious spoons, this is your answer.
the worldbuilding? FLAWLESS
the characters? i would die for them (and have, repeatedly.)
the women are WRITTEN WELL. their stories have MEANING.
the graphics? beautiful and just real enough that you can exist in the world and become immersed.
you can adopt a dog. and an owlbear. and there are innumerable delightful other animals you can talk to.
i was very surprised by the combat. because listen, i don't like violent things. i shut my eyes when there is bloody violence in a thing i'm watching. however. this is not mindless pewpew violence, this is pause, slow down, think about what you're doing and why combat. for a decent amount of fights, you don't need to kill if you don't want to, you can toggle off lethal attacks. you are fighting for your life sometimes, and to rescue people other times. you can plan ahead. you can do it again if you want to change what you did. you can TALK YOUR WAY OUT OF IT so you don't end up in a fight at all.
the learning curve for the controls and the character-creation options may be steep if you've never gamed or played a RPG before, but i googled some basics and i had it down in a couple of days. the rest i picked up as i went along. i started on the easiest setting (explorer mode) and increased the level as i got the hang of it.
anyway i just love this experience, and if you have ever enjoyed a thing i have also enjoyed, THIS GAME IS FOR YOU. i'm playing by myself, romancing the vampire twink known as astarion, and i'm also playing another game with my sixty-something year old mother, who has never played a game before.
it's expensive. i think it's $60 USD - for me it's $100 NZD at full price, so i put off buying it. i was gifted it by my friends who were playing, because they knew it was worth it. now i've played, i also know it's worth it. the sales on steam bring the price down about 20%. HOWEVER. with the sheer amount of content, depth, and quality, i'm shocked they're not charging double. it's worth saving for. you WILL enjoy it.
if you don't have time, you can split the gameplay up and play it over years like a tv show, if you want to. i'm about 300 hours in and i'm not done yet. (i am doing every single side quest, and i'm in no rush.) and it's also replayable. i went back 80 hours of gameplay to change something. and the catch-up i did after had almost nothing in common with the previous time i did the same section.
if you need any further convincing, here's a clip of my character (starling) talking to astarion, and giving him what is most likely his first hug in 200 years. (cw discussion of sexual trauma)