#caringformum

[losingmum]

Mum's back at home

For several reasons: 

1. Silvermere, Guildford was too expensive for what it was. Whilst it looks polished on the outside, the care for dementia residents isn't adequate. They need more care and a more personal touch. 

2. I need to start the clear out of the house. It's as though squatters have lived in and in order to sell, it has to be spruced up a bit. If I'm there, I could also have mum around as she knows and misses the place. 

It's so depressing here that I've not even showered. The shower isn't worthy of such a name. It should be called 'the dribble'. And it's freezing. I've got a hot water bottle stuffed up my top and a portable heater by my feet. 

[losingmum]

Mum goes for a temporary respite. My sister's got a job in London, I'm on holiday. So mum was dropped in yesterday and this was what I received from my sister. Received a call at breakfast - 'your mum's not slept'. The whole phone call was about where she was and when we would pick her up. I didn't feel like it would be appropriate to tell her the good news that happened last night. It's an understatement to say I hope she settles in.

[losingmum]

Hand me some cyanide...

We've been trying to broach the subject of my sister moving to London and the fact mum can't stay at home. We're organising a temporary respite at one care home that is going to be a 'hotel' (it helps it looks very much like a 5 star one) before moving in a couple of weeks to our preferred care home. 

It's all getting rather confusing and we've had some rather frustrating conversations with many repeated questions, tears and anxious pacing. 

Her latest remark is 'hand me some cyanide - this will be a lot better than what I'm going through now'. 

[losingmum]

Mum and sister on our walk today.

[losingmum]

My sister's at breaking point

I feel guilty. My sister's put her life on hold, is resentful towards mum, holed up like a prisoner at home and I'm pretty sure of it, suffering from depression. Whereas I've escaped - I've moved to London, I touch base everyday but I'm relatively free from all the issues that she's dealing with on a day to day basis. 

She's not getting any sleep at the moment - apparently mum won't sleep, wanders around, comes into her room, wakes her up and tries to leave the house. 

The other day, my mum confused her for her sister and asked where her daughter was. 

We've got a care home chosen. But we're waiting for space. We can't wait much longer, mum's getting worse.