The Night of 1001 deaths.
I have a reaaaaaal grump on and I'll intro with one of my favourite quotes.
...Everything has to be taken on trust; ... It's the currency of living. There may be nothing behind it, but it doesn't make any difference so long as it is honoured."
Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead
You know I will admit it, I am a romantic! Not in the icky, sticky walk in the moonlight kind of way but rather the world is an amazing place with so much beauty in it and I want to celebrate it. Naive I would call myself. Others may prefer the epithet, stupid!!
If you give me your word, I expect that word to be honoured.
If you swear to me in the presence of GOD "forsaking all others till death us do part" then I expect you to keep your word, not fuck anything with a pulse.
If you say you're taking over your ageing dementia-addled parents' financials , so you can HELP them manage their affairs then that's what I expect you'll do. Not, take the opportunity to upgrade your car and get the capital for those amazing business ideas you've been brewing for decades leaving said parents almost destitute.
If I pay for a painting from you, then I expect you to give me the painting I chose, not fob me off with some cheap substitute.
I could go on and on but I'll spare you.
Clearly, I've met my fair share of cheats, liars and con-people. And believe me, I've tried to become less trusting and more hardened but it is too exhausting to go about assuming the world is made up of nothing but miscreants. I've tried it, even lived with it but it is the slippery slope to paranoia and mental illness. I will assume when dealing with you that your word is your bond until you prove otherwise.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Yes, Cousin Idowu. You're right. I was probably dropped on my head as a baby.
Why? Because yet again I am reeling from the duplicity of human nature: this time, clients. Having agreed terms over the last three months, drawn up contracts (legal fees incurred) which they agitated for, then procrastinated when it came to signing, I should have smelt a great big stink of human faeces.
They have come to renegotiate past the ninth hour, for a hefty discount, which wipes out any prospect of an already lean profit margin. I have expended considerable resources to meet their deadlines and now they 'know' they have me over a barrel with no option but to comply with their greed and bad faith. In their foul minds, I have no logical alternative but to comply.
Well, fuck you. Fuck your greedy conniving twisted immoral existence. I won't. Comply.
The world is too full of people who prey on the vulnerable and make victims of others based on the 'no option' assumption.
Bosses who bully employees because they think they have no other option.
Husbands who beat, humiliate and dehumanise their wives because they have no financial nor physical option but to stay.
Parents who abuse their children under the umbrella of discipline.
Communities who persecute minorities because they have nowhere else to go.
If I concede, roll over, give in to these calculating double-dealing bastards, then I become a victim; an anecdote over dinner with their mates. They're betting I'll be desperate but they underestimate my mulishness and their greed blinds them to their own vulnerabilities. My refusal to comply will also hurt them. Maybe not as much as it will me but they will hurt.
Last week, my cousin and I played a macabre but deliciously cathartic game in the car as we drove through the winding lanes of the West Country; 'The night of 1001 deaths'. We listed all the bloodsucking, corrupt Nigerians worldwide whose seeming endless appetite for money has brought the country to its knees. In the game. we would get rid of 1001 bad people in one night sending a message to the rest that greed pays: with blood! I now add a couple of English people to that list! The world would be a better place without these vermin.
Ultimately, I will let go of my anger...after the cleansing of course! Just kidding (sort of) ).
Disappointment and romance walk hand in glove. So I'm sure I'll be disappointed and raving again but hope, about the basic decency of most human beings, triumphs over experience.
You can play the game too; 'The night of 1001 deaths'. It is a game o. I repeat. It is a GAME. Please, don't actually go out and murder anyone! And watch a Japanese anime´ 'Death Note'.
