#caslit

[tarrit]

Blooming

“I wonder if it hurt 

For that flower bud to break through dirt, 

Just so it could reach the sun 

I wonder if it had to break itself into pieces,

So it could stretch up into the far sky 

I wonder if it was painful 

To open up its petals 

 For all the world to see 

Because I wonder 

If it always takes a little bit of pain, and hurt, and brokenness 

To grow.” 

-C.A.S. Lit

[tarrit]

The Truth

It is precisely because I love you

That I will never let you know

Because I never want you

To deal with the guilt

Of never being able to return

My feelings

-C.A.S. Lit

[fantrollbs]

Pesterlogs - Caslit and Zennar #5

[07:32] -- naughtyAlchemist [NA] began trolling cachexicSaboteur [CS] at 07:32 -- [07:32] NA: yø, sugar. [07:36] CS: oh hey zen!! shit sorry i took so /ong to respond i was kinda busy with rea//y dumb shit or in other words basica//y a/chemising stupid shit and /aughing at what came out serious/y you get some crazy shit in here it's a pretty hi/arious and stupid way to pass the time but whatever i just came back from fina//y handing that quest thing over to the consorts and hey apparent/y it is part of the /and [07:36] CS: quest one step c/oser to beating the shit outta my denizen after getting recon from it of course art ta/ked me into scoping out the thing before i actua//y tried murdering it [07:40] NA: fucking awesøme tø hear that, yø. [07:42] CS: haha yeah it's pretty coo/ actua//y so i'm probab/y just going to stare at this stupid shiny thing for a bit and try figure out how the he// i use it because my hive's not bui/t up to the seventh gate yet to go check out my denizen even if i DID have good enough gear to take it out if it fee/s /ike attacking me i wou/dn't be surprised it's basica//y rage i don't think there's a// that much point t [07:42] CS: a/king to it no matter what art said [07:44] NA: underestimating artie is sømething yøu shøuld try nøt tø dø, sugar. [07:45] CS: yeah yeah i know i'm not underestimating anyone i just think his idea's stupid [07:45] NA: my denizen is whø tøld me all abøut høw we have tø cure the frøgs, yø. [07:45] CS: /ike i said your denizens at /east are essentia/ for a session of course they're going to have something meaningfu/ to say [07:45] CS: what the he// wou/d mine even have to te// me? [07:45] NA: i dø hear yøur misgivings abøut a denizen øf rage, thøugh, sugar. [07:46] CS: yeah exact/y [07:46] NA: which is why i vølunteer tø gø with yøu when yøu dø, yø. ;) [07:47] CS: huh can you even do that i mean even if it's not going to attack me on sight it cou/d just as easi/y decide you don't need to be there and eat you @OnO@ [07:54] NA: i døn't see why nøt, sugar. [07:55] CS: hmm we// sti// it'd be coo/ and a// but it's probab/y one of those things you're supposed to do yourse/f you know quest for persona/ growth and a// there's /ots of significant things that you don't even rea/ise at the time are important and impact shit [07:56] NA: yø, that's true, sugar. [07:57] NA: but døn't gø thinking yøu have tø dø everything aløne, yø. [07:58] CS: gotta make a good first impression anyway and i'm not convinced bringing my dorky matesprit a/ong wou/d he/p that @~uO@ but yeah i know se/f sufficiency is great but not to the exc/usion of shit that can genuine/y he/p you i got it [07:59] NA: yø, i'm blushing madly øver here at all this praise yøu're heaping øn my head, sugar. [07:59] CS: i can imagine and it's a rea//y great menta/ image [08:02] NA: ...that may have been a bit øf sarcasm øn my part, yø. [08:02] CS: shhhh you're ruining the i//usion of b/ushu adorab/e zen [08:03] NA: øh, damn. i can't gø disillusiøning yøu, sugar. [08:04] CS: yep so get back to your hypothetica/ b/ood rushing [08:06] NA: yø, yøu cøuld prøbably find a way tø make it møre than just hypøthetical. ;) [08:08] CS: oh wow i'm actua//y /aughing ir/ at that and not the stupid snort that you do when you see something amusing on the computer perhaps a picture of a meowbeast with a poor grasp on grammar but actua//y a fu// on chuck/ed he/p the innuendos are getting to me they're infectious and there's no escape [08:10] NA: sø i'm finally getting under yøur skin, sugar? ;) [08:11] CS: if you want to put it that way then sure [08:17] NA: høw else shøuld i put it, yø? [08:18] CS: we// i don't know rea//y it's just that with the ;) you a/ways do makes everything /ook /ike more of a so/icitation than usua/ so i've got to say that kinda thing for posterity most/y [08:20] NA: i really enjøy the way yøu make me laugh, sugar. [08:20] CS: oh shit i do and here i thought you were just in respectfu/ awe [08:23] NA: when am i nøt in awe øf my matesprit, yø? [08:23] CS: huh good point so awe and hi/arity i bring so much to the metaphoric nutrition p/atform [08:26] NA: i'll be dining well, it seems, før a løng time tø cøme, sugar. ;) [08:28] CS: haha yeah i'// make sure to keep up the apparent/y amusing shit i say a// the time [08:28] NA: yø, want tø meet up sømewhere? i've been missing yøur face. [08:30] CS: yeah sure i mean i've got a coup/e of things to do /ike prod c/o unti/ he gets around to bui/ding up my hive more but he hasn't been on/ine for a whi/e so i can't rea//y just hang around waiting for him sure i cou/d track him down but it'd be a /ot of effort i cou/d better spend doing something actua//y constructive [08:38] NA: i'll head yøur way, sugar, and give yøu a hand. [08:39] CS: yeah sure okay see you in a bit [08:39] -- cachexicSaboteur [CS] gave up on trolling naughtyAlchemist [NA] at 08:39 --

[fantrollbs]

Pesterlogs - Caslit and Zennar #4

[04:52] -- naughtyAlchemist [NA] began trolling cachexicSaboteur [CS] at 16:52 -- [04:52] NA: yø, sugar. [04:52] CS: oh hey zen what's up [04:54] NA: nøt much, babe. what abøut yøu? [04:55] CS: yeah not rea//y doing anything just reading one of art's books it's not bad surprising/y i mean the /anguage is a bit stuffy sure but it's not purp/e prose the who/e time sti// comprehensib/e [04:56] NA: he lent yøu søme øf his bøøks, sugar? at least yøu've gøt sømething tø keep yøu busy. [04:57] CS: haha yeah i tro//ed him this morning because i was bored and p/us i've never rea//y ta/ked to him before? he seems /ike a coo/ enough guy though even if he did /ie his ass off [04:58] NA: yø, he lied tø yøu? what abøut? [04:59] CS: he had some intro spie/ said he was tea/ and shit /ike that but you know it was kinda obvious so i was just /ike 'haha yeah no' [05:01] NA: he døesn't seem like øther highbløøds, yø. [05:02] CS: what you mean /ike coherent and inte//igent? yeah i noticed a/most seems /ike he's de/iberate/y trying too hard to subvert the stereotype tbh [05:03] NA: yøu cøuld be right there, sugar. just be careful arøund him, yø? [05:04] CS: what do you mean carefu/ you /itera//y just said he's not /ike other highb/oods i.e. the douchey backstabbing kind [05:04] NA: he's still a highbløød, yø. [05:05] CS: uh huh okay what does he not have a rai/ or something then [05:05] NA: i haven't heard that he døes, sugar. [05:06] CS: oh shit okay yeah maybe you're right i'// be carefu/ don't worry a/though rea//y most b/ue and above shou/d at /east have a stand in for pa/e shit you know? just to be on the safe side we don't want to reduce what /itt/e numbers we even have /eft [05:09] NA: that's exactly what i'm saying, yø, but enøugh abøut artie. [05:09] CS: haha yeah i guess you didn't tro// me to gossip about everyone e/se's quadrants [05:11] NA: nah, just øurs, sugar. ;) [05:11] CS: oh right sure okay [05:12] NA: wøuld yøu rather nøt, babe? [05:13] CS: we// no i think that's a good idea actua//y straighten some shit out right? [05:13] NA: exactly my thøughts, yø. [05:14] CS: because uh [05:14] CS: i mean i guess i /ike hanging out with you and the other stuff so yeah [05:15] NA: øh shit, yeah, same here, sugar. [05:15] CS: and fuck i kind of suck at words right now but /ike [05:15] CS: i wou/d be rea//y okay with it happening more [05:17] NA: i'd better get this øut, yø. [05:18] NA: caslit, wøuld yøu be my matesprit? [05:19] CS: oh he// yeah i don't think that even needs debating [05:19] NA: ør shit, i'm asking tøø søøn. [05:19] NA: øh [05:19] CS: nah what's the point fucking around [05:22] NA: gøød questiøn, yø. why nøt cøme øver and find øut? ;) [05:23] CS: yeah sure why not i kind of can't stay /ong though sorry @OnO@ [05:25] -- cachexicSaboteur [CS] gave up on trolling naughtyAlchemist [NA] at 17:25 --

[fantrollbs]

Pesterlogs - Arturo and Caslit #1

[02:50] -- cachexicSaboteur [CS] began trolling adversariaRaptus [AR] at 14:50 --

[02:51] CS: hey i'm bored and i heard you have quote unquote /iterature can you hook a pa/ up?

[02:53] AR: Using the word "pal" might be stretching our relationship a fair bit, but i believe i can. If i can trust you to return it in the same condition i lent it you.

[02:54] CS: we// what a/ternative shou/d i go with then? comrade? associate?? tone down the forma/ity for once i'm in a great mood and you shou/d take advantage of that by attempting to be a shred as coo/ as i usua//y am

[02:54] CS: but yeah don't worry i'// treat it as gent/y as my own /usus a/though that's actua//y kind of shitty now that i think about it my /usus was a pain and had to get smacked upside the head a few times

[02:55] AR: It's also dead, and sprited.

[02:56] AR: But, i suppose i'll offer you the opportunity to prove i can trust you with some of my collection. Anything specific you seek? Or a genre?

[02:56] CS: what rea//y i had no idea you've opened my eyes to the truth art you've made me UNDERSTAND such an amazing reve/ation can't go unspread brb whi/e i tro// everyone with news of this incredib/e deve/opment

[02:57] CS: a// that bs aside though

[02:57] CS: idk i mean i've gone through a// my shitty heist movies recent/y so something in that genre wou/d be neat

[03:01] AR: I somehow picture gaper fluid overflowing your gawker as much as the sarcasm you spout. But, nonetheless. i'll scour my library for a suitable novel. I make no garauntees, however. Fiction was never a strong favourite for collecting, i'm unsure whether or not i have anything along the lines of a "Heist".

[03:02] AR: Nor do i garauntee you'll be willing, or able to complete the novel in it's entirety, if i do find it.

[03:03] CS: that was some beautifu/ imagery but whatever i need something to distract me so if you can't find anything specifica//y /itera//y anything e/se'// do okay

[03:06] AR: I have one which doesn't necessarily focus on the execution of a heist, but rather a failed one and the actions that are taken afterwards. Would that be suitable?

[03:07] AR: Otherwise, i'm overstocked on various stories of Legislacerators and the various "high profile" targets that ended up at the feet of the Grand Highblood.

[03:08] CS: hmm yeah sure sounds good actua//y definite/y not as c/iched as a// the others inevitab/y are i mean there's on/y so many bri//iant gangs of c/ever and attractive misfits someone can take before it just gets kinda trite even in as exce//ent a genre as this is

[03:10] AR: Not everything has to end perfectly with the so-called "protagonists" of the story finishing with some sort of success. Then again, i suppose overall, one of the Trolls /did/ end up successful. Just not in the manner you might initially believe.

[03:10] AR: I'll be sure to place it aside to deliver it later. Anything else you might require?

[03:13] CS: shhh no spoi/ers spoi/ers are the WORST and anyone who ruins shit for me is going to wake up one evening with a crowbar buried in their chest but anyway nah that was about it i think just saying hi you know i mean shit i don't think we've ever actua//y ta/ked a// that much before and definite/y not before the game so /ike i just thought i'd test the waters a/ways gotta have u/terior motives you know it's kind of in my b/ood @~uO@ oh yeah and i heard zen was stopping by your p/anet cou/d you /et him know that i kind of borrowed some of his movies i mean i wou/d've asked but i didn't rea//y want to wake him up before i /eft kind of payback for the time i woke up on /opas and he'd a/ready disappeared a/ong with the rest of the popcorn

[03:18] AR: What a threat. But, believe me, the content of the story vastly outweighs the ending. Even up to the climactic moment, i'm sure you'll enjoy every moment you spend reading it. Though i can appreciate your decision to test the water, not everybody could be as comfortable having an impromptu partnership with me as i could everyone else. (c)

[03:19] AR: I also appreciate the news. Here's to hoping Aethet has been practicing removing "babe" from his sentences, otherwise i'm going to have to send him back to his planet after a mere sentence or two.

[03:20] CS: huh we// he hasn't ca//ed me that for a bit but i don't think my method app/ies here rea//y

[03:22] CS: and yeah i guess i'm fee/ing a bit impromptu rn so expect the tro//ing when you /east expect it a/though that's kind of se/f contradictory now that i think about it kind of /ike an oxymoron i guess on/y /onger and s/ight/y /ess stupid sounding i mean it /itera//y has moron in that's about as dumb as something can get you know?

[03:24] AR: Do tell me your method is a firm hand around the back of his head. That's what i've offered to help drive the word and habit out of his system.

[03:24] AR: You're rambling. But i understand. You wouldn't be the first to randomly message, or interrupt me.

[03:25] AR: Our mutual friend Zennar has already stolen that "honour".

[03:26] CS: we// not exact/y but i'm sure the imp/ication was there when i to/d him to cram it and for the record it's hard/y ramb/ing a/though now you mention it yeah i guess i am being kind of unnecessari/y verbose tonight huh? and uh if i AM interrupting sorry i guess i can go fuck off and stare b/ank/y into space searching for motivation for a coup/e more hours nothing new there

[03:30] AR: Atleast it's, apparently, been successful. I'll have to wait and see whether or not he requires physical motivation to forget. But, have no worry. You're not really interrupting anything important, if you were, i wouldn't have responded. I have my priorities.

[03:31] AR: Ah, i suppose i should properly introduce myself, since we've had so little contact, shouldn't i? Or would you prefer i skip it.

[03:33] CS: no yeah go for it i'm never one to turn down information i can potentia//y use to my advantage

[03:35] AR: So honest, i should perhaps consider being so open with you. But oh well. Arturo Kalzer, Tealblood, Heir of Void. As you might realise, i'm fond of literature and all things meowbeast.

[03:38] CS: yeah seems /egit we// mister meowbeast tea/face i can te// from your tota//y sincere /ooking text that there's no obfuscation of truth happening here is there you know chad might be shocked to hear that someone's trying to jack her aspect /ike that you shou/d probab/y keep that on the down /ow

[03:41] AR: I imagine she wouldn't mind the humour involved. I imagine a proper introduction from yourself could compel me to be a little more honest in the future. We are practically strangers, afterall.

[03:44] CS: weird sense of humour you've got there but yeah sure nothing you probab/y don't have some vague idea of a/ready i'm not even going to screw over the detai/s here i'm cas/it rabiem i apparent/y stea/ rage which i'm not entire/y certain of the connotations invo/ved but probab/y something to do with my shitty coba/t psychic thing which doesn't even WORK ha/f the time but yeah occasiona//y i'// get barraged by everyone e/se's se/f /oathing or whatever just kind of shoving itse/f into my brain which kind of sucks a /ot but whatever we can't he/p these things as for shit i'm into idk i guess most of this game rea//y i mean s/aying shit /eve//ing up raiding dungeons it's /ike f/arp again on/y /ess boring

[03:49] AR: Believe me when i say, if this is the non-descriptive version, i'm rather glad to chose to scratch them rather than spell out everything to me. So; Much appreciated on that note. And of course, "pleasure to meet you", Rabiem.

[03:50] AR: You do, however, need a cap on your word levels. You appear to get out of hand. Regularly.

[03:50] CS: what

[03:51] CS: wow that was the subt/est way i've ever been to/d to shut the fuck up before good job

[03:51] AR: Now you're getting ahead of yourself. You do have interesting things to say, however, you need to learn how to take a figurative breath now and again.

[03:52] CS: what can i say sometimes i get a keyboard and i just go wi/d can't rein back a// this crap i've apparent/y got trying to escape my pan a// at once

[03:53] CS: but hey at /east a fraction of what i metaphorica//y shit out is somewhat usefu/ then

[03:54] AR: I'd jest to investing in a Moirail, but who knows, perhaps a good pap would "calm your shit" and make you speak in a more normal speed.

[03:56] CS: we// sure it'd be great to have someone interested in being pa/e but the /ast coup/e of times i tried that quadrant didn't rea//y pan out and now the poo/s kinda /imited so whatever i guess them's the breaks and there's no point getting bitter over it rea//y

[03:58] AR: Rabiem has a bad track record in paling. Well, atleast i'm learning more about you now, and your amount of text has, essentially, halved. Progress is being made.

[03:59] CS: hey nobody can say i don't make an effort to tone it down a coup/e notches at /east when it's so po/ite/y requested and i don't usua//y even ta/k THAT excessive/y guess i'm just in a good mood

[04:00] AR: From some successful treasure hunt, as you stated was an interest of yours. Or your time spent watching movies with Aethet?

[04:01] CS: yeah combo of the two i'd say if i had to hazard a guess i think i'm progressing in my /and quest actua//y which is coo/ one step c/oser to beating the shit outta my denizen right

[04:02] AR: Wouldn't know, personally i opted for an alternate route to the driven quest of putting an end to my Denizen. Besides, it's good conversation as long as you know the right things to do, or say.

[04:05] CS: damnit fucking imps keep sneaking up on me and breaking my damn computers but anyway where were we denizens right? and i'm sure the timey one's useful to ta/k to sure but idk i'm not rea//y one to negotiate with a huge pi/e of xp and grist /ike i can see mine being

[04:06] AR: Even wih the potential for a few more alchemising recipes for you to gain higher quality weapons? I would have thought you'd atleast attain them before turning against your Denizen.

[04:06] AR: Atleast take it's knowledge before you take it's life.

[04:07] CS: hmmmm

[04:07] CS: that's a good point actua//y the benefits of pretending to be chi// a/so inc/ude bonus backstab damage probab/y

[04:08] CS: and sure trust no /ocks is a great weapon a/ready but it cou/d be on FIRE or something badass /ike that

[04:08] AR: I doubt a Denizen would be surprised by being attacked, but still. If it persuades you to atleast speak with it first use that reason.

[04:11] CS: you seem pretty fixated on the conversation thing huh any u/terior motives there or is it just fun to be the wise sensei figure or whatever keeping an eye out for the reck/ess youth (me) charging around swinging dangerous weaponry a// care/ess /ike but you know what i haven't had any fun intricate highb/ood doub/ecrosses for a whi/e this shou/d be fun

[04:16] AR: I certainly hope you don't hold expectations that somewhere down the road i degenerate into a mirth-spouthing, face painted, bloodthirsty subjugglator. I'd prefer not to be clumped in with that part of my caste, let alone become one. I merely press the conversation idea due to what you could potentially learn. I'm being selfish, really. I'd prefer to be battling alongside a Thief of Rage that realised it's full potential over one that killed it's Denizen and never realised it could do so much more.

[04:18] CS: we// no you're much more coherent for a start makes a good firstish impression but yeah no worries i'm definite/y p/anning on c/imbing that who/e potentia/ mountain and getting the fancy god threads speaking of which i shou/d rea//y start /ooking for the damn quest cocoon again a/ready but whatever it's not /ike anyone e/se seems to be beating me to it atm

[04:20] CS: but hey if someone e/se's he/ping me out can't go wrong huh i've got time on my side @~uO@

[04:24] AR: Excellent pun. And i wish you luck on the cocoon discovery. I have the rather looming feeling mine stands in some of the less... appealing, parts of my land. Though here's to hoping it isn't. I really intend to save those parts of it until the very end of my exploration. Atleast then i'll know all the good my Planet has to offer.

[04:24] CS: what's your /and again anyway?

[04:24] AR: Ambience and Decay.

[04:25] CS: oh RIGHT yeah i've been through it a coup/e times you know on my way to other p/anets but yeah it's kind of

[04:25] CS: rea//y fucking weird tbh

[04:26] CS: a/though mine's ha/f a fucking sewer /eve/ so i can't rea//y ta/k there

[04:27] AR: I enjoy it, especially the scenery. Makes for a good atmosphere while reading. And, of course, it's "crowning jewel".

[04:27] CS: the hourg/ass thing right? or whatever fancy ass name it's got

[04:28] AR: Recapitulate Cascade, correct. It makes for good land scouting at times.

[04:29] AR: Well, atleast for what's left that has yet to be explored that you can see from it.

[04:31] CS: yeah because sure the p/anets are kind of sma// but you wou/dn't be ab/e to check out the opposite side from there but hey if you ever need someone to beat up the hordes of imps and ogres and shit whi/e you go questing i get bored easi/y so i'd definite/y vo/unteer as meat shie/d or whatever anything to he/p out one of the important p/ayers right and i can't do much to he/p zen and ai/ out so this's the next best thing rea//y

[04:36] AR: I'll make a note of it. When dungeoning, feel free to contact Caslit. She'll be content to do all the dirty work for you. Still, perhaps you should really consider making that offer to everyone else.

[04:36] AR: Zennar's work does require aid, where as my important duties are for me alone. Hence why i'm the only Time player amongst us.

[04:37] CS: i have more or /ess or at /east everyone i actua//y ta/k to at a//

[04:37] CS: and i can't rea//y do jack about his frogs being fucked up tuf and ai/ are he/ping him out with that a/ready

[04:39] AR: Maybe once i'm done exploring, i'll let you run rampant on my planet. "Grind" grist for me while i enjoy the finer luxuries in our session.

[04:40] CS: yeah /ike a// the shitty quests on my /and didn't have enough grinding and fetch quests in the first p/ace why the fuck wou/d a rat need ten ogre tusks that's the rea/ question here

[04:41] AR: Maybe it desired a new fashion item, a necklace to strut around in to attract other rats.

[04:42] CS: serious/y art have you seen the size of those things that wou/dn't make a neck/ace it'd be about twe/ve times as bit as the goddamn consorts at LEAST i am 100% about my maths there

[04:44] AR: They might live by a "bigger is better" philosophy. Ten ogre tusks on a necklace could make them the toast of the town, or the gem in other's eyes.

[04:46] CS: you know i don't even want to think about consort romance/reproduction right now because the /ast thing i need is for my stomach to try and force itse/f out my throat but rea//y fuck those guys anyway they're more of a pain than anything they've done to he/p me with their shitty cryptic c/ues about crap i don't care about and /itera//y no information on how to go find the thing to ki// myse/f on

[04:50] AR: Are you taking our topic of conversation literally? Because i'm just currently self-amusing with my thoughts of some awkward society of rats attempting to elevate itself via fashion. Still, you can always donate them to Ailsca. I imagine the more, the merrier when it concerns her experiments.

[04:51] CS: yeah no i pretty much never take anything /itera//y even when it's intended to be but now you say that it cou/d actua//y be a good idea to get rid of some of those fuckers FOR SCIENCE basica//y

[04:53] AR: Maybe you can offer that service to Ailsca. Travel around taking consorts for her experiments. An extra piece on the side as you storm various planets on your quest for treasure.

[04:55] CS: that is the best quest ever getting a// the damn /oot and xp and grist but yeah you cou/d have an idea there i'm sure ai/'s a/ways down for getting some more hap/ess morons to test her poisons on right come to think of it maybe that's why she vo/unteered them for when we try and godtier you know firsthand feedback shit do you think that when she ascends she'// test them herse/f fuck that's actua//y kind of horrifica//y co/d to think about even for her

[04:57] AR: What are you going to do? Someone has to live up to the horrifying expectations of the Highbloods in some way, since i'm incapable of fulfilling that role. But atleast she has it reserved to the rather... Well, useless NPC's for SGRUB. It definitely beats out using them on each of us on a whim.

[04:59] CS: haha yeah to te// you the truth ha/f the time i'm kinda paranoid about her offering anyone anything remote/y comestib/e but hey that's just me being irrationa/ right i'm sure she'd never be that much of a mad scientist

[05:02] AR: Well from personal experience, she tends to be much like yourself about her work. Open about her product, and her intentions for it. As well as she does ask. Paranoia isn't all that bad, though. Especially with edible goods. Atleast you'll always be garaunteed something you enjoy if you bring your own meals.

[05:03] CS: yeah you'd think but i can't cook for shit so i'd probab/y have a better chance with the poison that may or may not exist /ike some sort of hypothetica/ quandum conundrum

[05:06] AR: Have a little faith, then. If she loses her mind and decides poisoning us is the best thing to do, i'm sure Hertzi will be the first to pick up on her apparent subtle shit-flipping. You could always learn to cook, as well, but i'm selling my personal choice in the matter.

[05:07] CS: nah i don't have the patience or time for that too busy wrecking shit but yeah as much of a huge fucking shitty assho/e as hertz is i GUESS he'd perform adequate/y at that task

[05:09] AR: Ouch. No wonder he's so intent on disliking Highbloods.

[05:11] CS: i don't know what his prob/em is that was ONE campaign okay he shou/d've expected that i was going to try something he's a RUSTBLOOD he cou/dn't serious/y be so stupid that he wou/dn't at /east suspect something but no gotta take the who/e situation persona//y what a prick

[05:12] AR: I believe i missed the details. FLARPing is involved, i assume.

[05:13] CS: yeah no we got teamed up one time i tried to ki// him and he f/ipped a// his shit it serious/y wasn't as big a dea/ as he made it out to be just standard procedure you know? but hey he survived so that made for a pretty sweet riva/ry in the end

[05:14] AR: How...

[05:14] AR: Well, Black.

[05:15] CS: we// not exact/y i mean it's not rea//y a quadrant or anything but yeah kind of i guess

[05:16] AR: Surprising, betraying him in a life and death scenario? That's quite devious and evil of you, Rabiem.

[05:17] CS: what e/se was i going to do be a// chummy with a /owb/ood haha not /ike/y

[05:18] AR: Make it work until you're no longer partners. That's what my decision would have been. But to each their own, if you loathe the Lowbloods, you loathe them.

[05:18] AR: Then again, Aethet would be a contradiction to that.

[05:19] AR: Perhaps you just hate or have a fondness for certain Lowbloods.

[05:19] CS: i don't /oathe /owb/oods just him tuf and zen are pretty coo/

[05:22] AR: Well, i apologise, Rabiem. But i need to wrap this up, i have other duties to tend to.

[05:22] AR: Still, it's been a pleasure. And i'll speak with you another time.

[05:22] CS: yeah no sure i'm sure i've got shit to do

[05:22] CS: see you /ater art

[05:22] AR: Farewell.

[05:22] -- adversariaRaptus [AR] gave up trolling cachexicSaboteur [CS] at 17:22 --

[fantrollbs]

LOWAO [LOGS] #3

CCS RIGHT NOW opened memo on board LOWAO. CURRENT naughtyAlchemist [CNA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CNA: yø, here we are again, babes. CURRENT superbElectromagnetism [CSE] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CSE: + Hey there. - CCS: damn this is one crazy /and i don't think i've actua//y stopped here for more than a coup/e minutes before CNA: hertz, babe! høw's it been, yø? CURRENT healingGelsemium [CHG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CHG: Sso iss thiss everyone then? CNA: i haven't seen yøu since we had dinner a while back. CCS: haha you did?? CSE: + I've been busy, tryin' to navigate my land an - CSE: + ' all. - CCS: mhmm sure meanwhi/e some of us are actua//y accomp/ishing things CSE: + I've been fightin' thin's on my land too, you know. - CCS: oh yeah i bet you just keep getting fucked over by imps huh CNA: ...sø ailscy, where dø yøu want me tø setup this tank, yø? CHG: That bench over there, if you don't mind. CNA: nøt at all, babe. *uncaptchas the tank and settles it øn the indicated bench* CNA: *hands ailsca the rest results and anøther test tube øf the pøssibly cøntaminated water* here, babe. CNA: **test results CHG: Thank you. -- CURRENT healingGelsemium [CHG] looks over the test results. -- CCS: so you guys can rea//y fix the frog prob/em? because that'd be kinda conduitive to us actua//y winning and you know just fucking amazing in genera/ CHG: We'll fix it, don't worry. Failling issn't actually an option, iss it? CCS: he// no if any of you give up i'// whack you with a crowbar unti/ you start moving again CNA: yø, øf cøurse we can, babe. CNA: and yø, isn't that what tufie is før? ;) CCS: what hitting with shit? CNA: keeping us frøm giving up, babe. CCS: yeah that too doing the hopey thing CHG: I'm ssure being hit with a crowbar issn't the besst way to get ssomeone moving. It sseemss like that would be more likely to make them sstop. CCS: not /ike an ogre-s/aying whack more /ike a friend/y motivation tap CHG: I ssupposse I'll take your word on that one. CCS: yep just keep it in mind in case you ever consider f/ipping out @~uO@ CHG: I'll be ssure to. CCS: yeah but anyway i just want to put it out there that i'm getting rea/ bored just questing on /opas so /ike if you need random grunt work to do i'm down for it whenever CNA: *smirks* i cøuld find yøu søme "grunt" wørk, babe. ;) CCS: *oblivious* coo/ i a/ways need more shit to do to pass the time CNA: *snickers* yø, yøu want tø cøme back tø løvaf with me? *eyebrøw waggle* CCS: *squints* ho/d on a sec that was another euphemism wasn't it CNA: yø, i'd think yøu wøuld be able tø pick up øn this shit by nøw, cassy. CCS: we// i guess i have too high expectations for your abi/ity to not constant/y be a rea//y suave guy then huh CNA: what can i say, babe? i'm just tøø charming, yø. ;) CCS: definite/y that MUST be the reason i can't imagine anything e/se CNA: ...what are yøu implying, babe? CCS: i'm not imp/ying anything CNA: *squints at her suspiciøusly, but lets it slide* yø, ailscy, what dø yøu make øf thøse results? CHG: There'ss definitely ssomething in here, I'm not ssure what at the moment, though. CHG: Thesse elementss could make a number of compossitionss, it'll take me ssome time to narrow them down. CNA: alright, babe, take yøur time. CHG ceased responding to memo. CSE ceased responding to memo. CNA: want tø gø back tø løvaf, cassy? CNA: ((*prod*)) CCS: huh oh yeah sure why not -- CURRENT naughtyAlchemist [CNA] makes his way back to the gate. -- CNA ceased responding to memo.

[fantrollbs]

Memo - MoreLikeFantrollBs [LOGS]

CCS RIGHT NOW opened memo on board MORELIKEFANTROLLBS. CURRENT naughtyAlchemist [CNA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CNA: yø, sup, babes? CCS: oh hey /ook's /ike the gang's a// back together then CURRENT superbElectromagnetism [CSE] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CSE: + Yeah, thank god I remade the memo, right? - CURRENT healingGelsemium [CHG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CHG: Hass it been that long ssince it wass closed? CCS: a coup/e days maybe? CNA: i'd been wøndering what happened tø it, yø. CURRENT psychosomaticRapscallion [CPR] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CPR: was The oTher one ever closed? CPR: how long ago was ThaT anyways? CCS: who the fuck even knows tuf CSE: + I think we all just went offline eventually. - CSE: + Oh, hey Fifi'. - CCS: what've you guys been up to anyway and by you guys i basica//y just mean ai/ and tuf CHG: I ssupposse everyone'ss been bussy then. CSE: + Wow, thanks. - CCS: oh you're not taking that persona//y are you? CCS: that's adorab/e CPR: oh you know. killing Things. Trying To noT geT dead. CPR: same as always. CHG: I've been doing a bit of ressearch, mosstly. CCS: the frog thing sti//? CHG: Yess, the frog thing sstill. CNA: øh shit, i'm suppøsed tø be bringing thøse test results øver, yø. CCS: we// i guess it is pretty important huh CCS: right zen did you get back to /ovaf okay you were gone when i woke up CNA: øf cøurse, babe. yøu knøw i can handle myself. CCS: yeah a/right just making sure CNA: yø, did yøu take the item back tø yøur cønsørts? CCS: not yet i on/y just got up rea//y CCS: i was going to re/uctant/y head over there /ater CNA: let me knøw høw it gøes, i'm curiøus, yø. ;) CCS: eh they'// probab/y just throw me a handfu/ of boonies and a crump/ed hat or something but you never know cou/d be a /and quest thing CNA: can't gø wrøng trying, babe. CCS: yeah i guess CCS: yo a// you other guys sti// a/ive or just kind of in awed si/ence CPR: nah, sTill here. CPR: jusT fighTing off some imps and shiT. CHG: Ssorry, I'm sstill here. My attention is divided currently, though. CCS: just the usua/ nbd CSE: + No, the silence could be more described as disgust. - CPR: hence The infrequenT commenTs. CSE: + An' I'm followin - CCS: mhmm you keep te//ing yourse/f that hertz CSE: (( I SWEAR TO GOD )) CSE: (( THE ' NEEDS TO BE FURTHER AWAY FROM THE ENTER KEY )) CSE: + An' I'm followin' some paths in my land, that never really works out well though. - CNA: yø, yøu need søme help øver there, hertz, babe? CCS: i rea//y hope you don't run into a bunch of high /eve/ enemies then i'd hate to have to come save you CPR: if you do hiT me up! iIi'll be your knighT. CPR: god iIi am so bored. CSE: + I was talkin' more 'bout the fact that the paths can't stay still for a split fuckin' second, but I'm gonna make it clear that I'll never need your help, Cas'. - CCS: hey /ike i said tuf you can definite/y come on one of my shitty quests CPR: ((fuck, noT god. iIi need a new word for ThaT senTimenT...) CSE: + I'm fine on my own but if anyone wants to drop by I guess I ain't that objected. - CHG: Zennar, did you assk Tufian if we could usse hiss land? CCS: and yeah you say that now hertz CNA: nøt yet, babe. this is the first time i've seen him øn since we talked, yø. CPR: use my land? CCS: just you wait one night you're gonna fuck up so hard you'// have to have your super ta/ented and tota//y badass pa/ he/p you out CSE: + I'm actually genuinely surprised that you haven't fucked up that badly yet. - CSE: + Congratulations to you, for not messin' everythin' up for once. - CCS: hey i can tota//y hand/e myse/f /itera//y a// of the time can't say the same for you CCS: remember that time f/arping when you ran straight into a tripwire CNA: we need a place with clean water, tufie, tø see if we can get these frøgs healthy, yø. CSE: + Hey, that was fuckin' ages ago. - CCS: yeah but i'm not /etting you /ive it down ever so suck it @~uO@ CPR: oh. CPR: yeah dude, LoFaL is fuckin' lush. CPR: clean waTer all over The place. CCS: i don't think i've actua//y been to your p/anet yet except for using the gates CPR: ok, noT all over The place. mosTly only in The non-barren wasTleand areas. CNA: søunds gøød, thanks, babe. CPR: yup. come over whenever. iIi'll Try To keep The porTal imp/orgre/assorTed oTher evil creTin clear. CHG: That sshould really go without ssaying, don't you think? I aim to to keep the frogs alive, not to have them attacked. CSE: + I could bring up a whole lotta thin's that you've fucked up during flarpin'. - CCS: uh huh sure nothing i cou/dn't recover from CNA: yø, i'll just get søme things tøgether and be øver, tufie. CPR: ok cool. iIi'll be here. CPR ceased responding to memo. CNA: shøuld i be flattered that this memø died withøut me, yø? CCS: if you want i was just kind of busy with ogres and imps and shit CCS: but now i'm kinda bored i guess CSE: + Sure, "without you." - CCS: are you a// over on tuf's /and CSE: + I ain't there but the rest are. - CCS: sounds /ike the best p/ace to be right now then mind if i come a/ong zen? CNA: nah we were just abøut tø leave, babe. CCS: dang i'// have to sett/e for beating the shit out of some of these goddamn hordes some more then CNA: we føund a nice spøt tø put the frøgs, yø. want tø støp by ailscy's place instead? CCS: okay sure /owao right CSE: + Are you needin' any help with that, Ail'? - CNA: that's the place, babe. we're øn øur way nøw. CCS: a/right i'// be there soon just gotta finish up over here CHG: You know you're welcome here, Hertzi. Sshould I expect you as well? CSE: + Yeah, sure. - CSE: + I'll be over in a few. - CHG ceased responding to memo.

[fantrollbs]

LOPAS [LOGS] #3

CNA: if it keeps yøu quiet, it wørks før me, yø. *fuck fuck fuck this cøuld ruin everything fuck* CCS: oh so that was a tota//y strategic move huh? CNA: what else cøuld it have been? *real smøøth, avøiding the questiøn wøn't sølve shit* CCS: *oh* uh nothing i guess then CNA: *fuck fuck fuck this is nøt gøing right at all fuckity fuck* ...did yøu want it tø be sømething else? CCS: um we// i mean i guess i kinda thought that maybe CCS: unti/ the CCS: unti/ the ai/ thing rea//y CNA: i kind øf fucked up there, yø. CCS: oh CCS: but i mean i can get why she's pretty neat i guess just not rea//y my type as c/iched as it is to say that CNA: ... CNA: she... isn't my ønly flushed interest, babe. CCS: rea//y who e/se is it? /ike rax or tuf or hertz or someone? CNA: ...i did mentiøn i take my øwn løve pøtiøn, right, babe? CCS: yeah which seems kinda weird to me but whatever f/oats your aqueous vesse/ right CNA: i find it kind øf hard *nøt* tø pity everyøne i meet, yø. CNA: ...which søunds fucking shalløw nøw that i've said it øut løud. CCS: a bit yeah but then again i think it's pretty easy to hate a /ot of peop/e which i know isn't actua//y the same at a// but i get where you're coming from i guess? CNA: i just døn't want yøu tø think that yøu're nøt special, babe. CCS: i guess that's kind of hard when you say that but you know what i've never /et anyone e/se get to me /ike that it just makes me have to be better than they are so yeah don't worry i'm coo/ CNA: ...fuuuck. *sways lightly as his headache frøm earlier cømes øn full førce, and he puts a hand tø his temple* CCS: shit you okay???? *grabs his arm and glances worriedly up at him* CNA: yeah, i'm... i'll be fine, let's just keep møving, babe. CCS: hey i kinda owe you from before so /ike if you're going to pass out or whatever just /et me know so i can /ug your unconscious se/f back to the hive CCS: a/though it's not even that much further just ho/d out a coup/e minutes okay CNA: yeah, økay. *leans øn her as they crøss the final distance tø the hive* CCS: *opens the door and helps him inside to a couch* you sit your ass down there and don't do anything stupid whi/e i get some water *starts to leave, then pauses* do you need anything e/se /ike medicine or whatever? CNA: nah, i... i'll be fine. CCS: rea//y because it /ooks /ike you've got the mother grub of a// migraines a// up in your pan CNA: *sits døwn and leans heavily back intø the cushiøns* ...i dø, but i have sømething før it already. CCS: oh one of ai/'s remedy things? CNA: nah, sømething øf my øwn cøncøctiøn. i am an alchemist, after all. CCS: we// a/right you take that but you're not going anywhere unti/ i'm tota//y convinced you're not going to throw up or anything because no offense but you rea//y /ook /ike you're going to CNA: ha... alright, fine, maybe i'll try sømething else før it this time. what have yøu gøt, babe? CCS: i'm not sure rea//y just a bunch of shit ai/ sent me captcha codes for a/though i know a coup/e say ibuprofen on the jar so i'// try that i guess CCS: a/though on second thoughts maybe i'// just pester her CCS: /ess risky that way CNA: nah, døn't dø that. the ibuprøfen will be fine. CCS: okay but it's on your head if it fucks you up CCS: haha get it that was a great pun CNA: hilariøus. *øffers her a small smile and sidewards glance that is a bit irritated* CCS: *slightly confused by that, but heads on over to yank open one of the cupboards in the kitchen anyway* shit i know it's in here somewhere-- ha there we go *triumphantly rattles the bottle* apparently you're not supposed to take these if you're pregnant whatever the fuck that means CNA: nø shit? *shifts irritably* CNA: *this migraine is killer, yø* CCS: whatever just down a coup/e of these what cou/d possib/y go wrong *tosses the bottle onto the couch* CNA: *pøps a cøuple øf the pills and washes it døwn with the water she prøbably gøt him earlier and leans back again* thanks, babe. CCS: uh huh so fee/ free to hang out here unti/ your pan stops exp/oding okay CNA: will dø, sugar. CCS: *huh, that's new. casually just going to chalk it down to panfucking headaches and ignore any possible implications for now* right so i don't rea//y have anything to do to pass the time around here i mean if i've GOT time it's usua//y for questing or rewatching a// the shitty shakespeare adaption movies so uh sorry if it's kind of boring CNA: *lays back øn the cøuch* i'm døwn før søme shakespeare, sugar. he's fucking classic. CCS: okay so i have 'In Which A Young Midblooded Troll Upon Having His Pump Biscuit Thoroughly Shattered By His Advances Being Turned Down By The Female He Is Infatuated With Crashes The Party Of Her Close Genetic Relatives Only To Find Himself Enthralled By Another Younger Troll Of Her Cast And Embarks Upon A Whirlwind Romance Resulting In Him Killing Her Comrade And Being Banished From The Fictional City Of Verona On Pain Of Culling Only To Have Her Concoct A Clever Ploy To Fake Her Death So She Can Run Away With Him But Tragedy Strikes As He Mistakenly Believes That She Is Truly Dead And Kills Himself And She Also Commits Suicide At The Thought Of Living Without Him; Featuring Kisses Of Various Quadrantial Passions, A Relationship Parted By Several Sweeps, One Instance Of Injust Murder, And A Final Dramatic Double Suicide' it's pretty coo/ i've on/y seen it maybe five or six times before CNA: just five ør six, sugar? hm, we'll just have tø make that six ør seven. ;) CCS: ah he// yeah i'// go get it *hurries upstairs* CNA: *the pain meds are kicking in, and his head is ønly thrøbbing dully nøw* CCS: *stomps around upstairs for a bit before coming back into the recreationblock, movie clutched triumphantly* found it!! CNA: sweet! *øffers her a genuine smile, trøll shakespeare has always been øne øf his favørite playwrites, aløng with trøll øscar wilde* CCS: this one's so coo/ because un/ike the one i've forgotten the tit/e of but they reenact the origina/ story in a proper modern scene they sti// use a// the origina/ /anguage for it and tro// a/ternian is just SO COOL okay CNA: i'm partial tø øld alternian myself, sugar. we can dø a fucking marathøn øf shakespeare møvies and yøu wøn't hear me cømplain. CCS: shit yeah i mean i've on/y rea//y got this and the tro// scottish p/ay but screw it sure/y i can a/chemise the rest somehow i've got a// the p/ays maybe i'// try /ike a copy of one of them and a b/ank videogrub or somethin CCS: or e/se we cou/d a/ways try roping the others into performing them @~uO@ not that it'd work or anything but it'd be hi/arious CNA: yøu knøw, beføre we føund øut that the wørld was gøing tø end and entered the game, i dreamed abøut being an actør--that wøuld be sø fucking perfect! CCS: no shit rea//y? CNA: yes, really. but that was beføre... *his cøuntenance darkens, but he smiles tø shrug it øff* ...anyways, getting everyøne tø participate in a play wøuld be great, sugar. CNA: i'm sure i have all the manuscripts sømewhere. CCS: *...yeah, she's not going to obnoxiously delve into the 'before' thing* yeah i've got a few of them too we'd just have to somehow get everyone to think it's a good idea CCS: somehow CNA: i have a feeling that we cøuld cønvince them between the twø øf us. ;) CNA: *:) CCS: okay i'// threaten to break kneecaps and you just be charming or whatever CNA: classic strategy. sugar, i like the way yøu think. ;) CCS: hehe yeah *oh shit she can't be genuinely thinking that's cute come on pull it together* right so anyway! *hurries over to put the movie on before settling down on the couch* CNA: nøw, dø we have søme kind øf snack før this film? CNA: but yøu døn't have tø get up right this secønd, since yøu just sat døwn. *puts an arm øver her shøulder and pulls her a bit cløser* CCS: hmm i probab/y have SOMETHING but i'm not rea//y sure i mean i haven't checked for a whi/e what's actua//y in the pantries but corn doesn't go off i thin-- *oh shit sudden distraction from the tide of words* CNA: *leans back tø enjøy the møvie, seemingly øbliviøus tø her reactiøn* CCS: *well no harm in using him as a pillow then right? He's basically the perfect height for it* CNA: *økay that is just fucking adørable, but he's nøt gøing tø say sø, he's just gøing tø be cømførtable with her here with nø artificial flushed feelings ør anything... unless they aren't artificial. fuck* CCS: *totally oblivious to anything going on in his pan in favour of mouthing the opening lines to the movie* CNA: *subcønsciøusly hølds her a little tighter against him* CNA: *alsø, that is even møre adørable* CCS: b/uh the first scene's kind of boring tbh but then a// the coo/ shit happens and /et me just put it out there that romeo and benvo/io are the best moirai/s in the history of /iterature okay no negotiation CNA: høw cøuld i pøssibly negøtiate an undeniable fact like that, sugar? CCS: haha see now art disagreed there but what does he know huh CNA: althøugh i have tø admit that there are søme strøng rivals før that spøt. CCS: oh yeah name one CNA: that will be a very løng-winded debate, sugar, and i wøuldn't want tø spøil the møvie. ;) CCS: yeah okay fine but we WILL have to have a serious discussion at a /ater date CNA: i'm løøking førward tø it. CCS: mhmm we// what i'm /ooking forward too right now is for romeo to stop comp/aining about rosa/ine or whatever her name was and get to the b/ueb/ood hive party a/ready so shhhhhh CNA: *chuckles quietly and shushes* CNA: *damn she is sø cløse and warm and beautiful... fuck* CCS: *watches in fascination, subconsciously snuggling a little closer* ugh how does /eo get to be that fucking attractive it's not fair too bad he's rea//y o/d and a/so now dead CNA: nøw whø's talking thrøugh the møvie? *a bit øf distance in his tøne, as he glances away frøm cassy, gritting his teeth. this shøuld feel sø right, sø why døes it feel sø wrøng and sø scary? it's perfect, she's perfect, he shøuld have put it past him a løng time agø, she isn't the same persøn* CNA: *fuck why didn't he just take the fucking pøtiøn he wøuldn't have tø wørry abøut this shit he shøuld just gø take it, nø fuck that* CCS: *rolls her eyes* fiiine i'// shut up we're a/most at the good part where romeo sees ju/iet for the first time anyway CNA: *makes an attempt tø føcus øn the møvie, but his mind is scattered and he's driving himself intø a panic* it is øne øf the best parts... CCS: *slightly concerned frown* hey are you sure you're okay you're acting kinda edgy CNA: *maybe he shøuld just tell her nø that wøuld be a terrible idea actually maybe it wøuld help nø prøbably nøt* ...nøt really? but then i'm nøt usually when... that is, i think i shøuld get sømething tø eat, økay, sugar? CCS: uh okay go ahead a// the shit's in the other room CNA: *gets up and heads tø the øther røøm, in search øf sømething tø steady himself* CCS: *glances worriedly to the door, movie all but forgotten* CNA: *he døesn't want tø be this way arøund her, but alsø døesn't want tø be false arøund her... fuck what tø dø* CCS: *sighs and continues trying to watch the movie, still pretty distracted* CNA: *uncaptchas the vial øf pøtiøn, and hølds it in his hand før a bit, still struggling internally. he uncaps it, raises it tø his lips... and smashes it tø the grøund.* CNA: *øh shit nøw what is he gøing tø dø??? fuuuuuck* CCS: *starts at the sound of breaking glass* zen you okay did you drop something??? CNA: ...shit, yeah um... fuck. CCS: *pauses the movie and gets up to head to the door* nothing important i hope CNA: just sømething øf mine. *is standing there staring døwn at the ønly døse øf the stuff he had with him tøday* CCS: we// shit there's a dustpan under the sink if you need it CNA: yeah... thanks, cas. *numbly øpens the cabinet and pulls øut the dustpan and starts sweeping up the glass* CCS: *he sounded kind of off but... ugh, she shouldn't pry, just settle back onto the couch and cast the occasional concerned look kitchen-ward* CNA: *hmm the kitchen falls quiet and he's been in there før a while nøw...* CCS: *fidgets. Maybe she should go check if he was okay...* CNA: *its still quiet in there, like nøt even the søund øf cøøking ør anything* CCS: *fuck not interfering, she's getting too stupidly worried about him now* CCS: *hauls herself up and heads over to nudge the door open* ...zen? CNA: *he's sitting there øn the fløør, with his head drøpped tø his knees and hidden in the shield øf his arms, the dustpan tø øne side with all the glass in it. he døesn't løøk up when she says his name* CCS: ho/y shit you just dropped some g/ass it's not a huge dea/ fuck are you okay???? CCS: *hesitates in the doorway, not sure whether her approach would be appreciated or not* CNA: *sløwly stirs, raising his head but nøt løøking at her* nø, i'm nøt, i'm all kinds øf fucked up. CCS: we// yeah we a// are-- shit just what the fuck's going on?? CNA: it hurts cas... and i can't make it gø away. nøthing makes it gø away. CCS: *carefully steps over and crouches down in front of him* whatever it is zen it's not going to be the end of the world. we've a/ready been there. you're going to be okay CNA: *shakes his head* nø, it's nøt, because i'm gøing tø drøwn it with the philtre and nø øne will ever believe i really care because it'll be fake... CNA: and i'll be aløne but it'll still be fucking better than this...! CCS: you weren't kidding when you said you drank that stuff huh? /ook just because you take whatever it is doesn't mean you're /ess important or /ess of a tro// okay you don't need to be hard on yourse/f because of that. /ook i know what it's /ike to not be your rea/ se/f okay and maybe i do it on purpose because i don't rea//y trust anyone enough to break the facade and yeah it hurts when they think i genuine/y don't care but because it's safer than /etting my guard down... fuck no i'm not going to turn this into my own damn pity parade okay the important thing is that i care about you okay a /ot maybe too much but i don't give a shit because phi/tre or not i KNOW you rea//y care and that even if you do keep taking that it's okay i won't /et you be a/one and maybe it won't be so hard for you to stop but be/ieve me the /ast thing i am is disappointed or disgusted i'm concerned about you yeah but that's because i don't want my friend to get hurt if i can he/p it. usua//y it invo/ves beating up some shit so maybe i'm not the most qua/ified here but i'm not going to give up on you don't you ever think that or that you don't deserve to have someone give a shit about you CCS: *fuck, now SHE feels fucking terrified, she's never let someone see so much of her before and it's almost panicky to even try* CNA: *stares at her før a løng møment and then reaches førward and hauls her intø a røugh embrace, and just clings tø her because øther than run øut the døør back tø løvaf, there's nøt a whøle løt he can dø in this situatiøn but accept her basically øffering tø be an anchør* CCS: *shakes her own doubts aside; that's not important right now. What IS important is wrapping her arms as tightly around him as she could so he KNOWS she means it, if that could be conveyed through desperate embraces* CNA: *hugs her really tight back, he never døubted før a møment that she was his friend, he liked tø think that her attitude had never føøled him tø what a great persøn she is øn the inside, even thøugh the philtre had really helped him øverløøk her less than amiable møments, he knew deep inside that he wøuld have førgiven her øf thøse a hundred times øver, philtre ør nø, because he'd cared abøut her fø even when he lied tø himself and said that he didn't, she was the reasøn he kept flarping with tufie and gøt better at it, he wanted her tø nøtice him and fuck this is nøt høw he wanted her tø see him, but here it is, this is it, zennar is just a brøkenhearted and scarred up trøll whø never gøt arøund tø letting himself heal.* CNA: because he'd cared abøut her før years, even when he lied tø himself and said that he didn't, she was the reasøn he kept flarping with tufie and gøt better at it, he wanted her tø nøtice him and fuck this is nøt høw he wanted her tø see him, but here it is, this is it, zennar is just a brøkenhearted and scarred up trøll whø never gøt arøund tø letting himself heal.* CCS: it's okay zen it's rea//y going to be okay you're going to get through this i know you're strong enough even if you don't think so CNA: *he has nø wørds, sø he just clings and buries his face against her* CCS: and even if you're not i'// make sure you're okay CNA: *stiffens slightly* wh... what? CCS: what do you mean what CNA: what dø yøu mean... yøu'll make sure..? CCS: i don't know that i'// be here for you no matter what i guess CNA: *relaxes again* thanks... cas. CCS: hey it's no prob/em rea//y CCS: i can't rea//y stand seeing peop/e i... my friends get hurt CNA: *løøsens his grip øn her, just resting his head øn her shøulder* i didn't mean før this tø happen, sugar. i'm sørry. CCS: maybe you didn't but it happened so don't beat yourse/f up over it okay CNA: i wøn't. but i haven't shaken yøu up ør anything? CCS: we// i'd be /ying if i said it didn't a /itt/e but it's okay rea//y zen it's okay CNA: i knøw i'm pretty shady material, sugar, but i'd like tø think i'm at least trustwørthy. *finds himself reaching up tø run his fingers thrøugh her hair* CCS: i'm sure you are *momentarily glances aside* i just don't think i can trust anyone rea//y even if i know i can CNA: thanks før trusting me as much as yøu have, then. and... thanks før being my friend. CCS: /ike i had a choice in the matter you make it rea//y difficu/t to try otherwise CNA: ...shit, that's kind øf true. CNA: what with my irresistable charm. CCS: i cou/dn't he/p it you make it way too hard not to /ike you @~uO@ CNA: *she has extracted a full-øn blush nøw* ...well yøu're nøt exactly unlikeable either, despite all yøur høstile øvertures, sugar. CCS: i try apparent/y not hard enough but i definite/y try CNA: try all yøu want, yøu can't føøl me. *he smiles* CCS: evident/y not but you have to keep this to yourse/f can't ruin my reputation right? CNA: *he starts laughing, and can't seem tø støp* CCS: what what's so funny now?? CNA: *laughs a little møre beføre calming døwn, still with a ridiculøus grin øn his face* it løøks like we have secrets tø keep før each øther nøw, sugar. CCS: we're tota//y in cahoots now CNA: cøhørts up tø all sørts øf shenanigans, yø. CCS: we've got to think of a coo/ team name too /ike a f/arp team has so we can be a// hardcore comrades to everyone e/se /ike a secret c/ub CNA: we dø, sugar, but nøt tønight. *wraps his arms arøund her again* CCS: nope you're right tonight we sti// have most of a movie to watch CNA: øh shit, yeah, let's make sømething tø eat and watch the best shakespeare møvie adaptatiøns that ever existed, sugar. ;) CCS: we// i can't cook for shit usua//y just scammed something off dremen so i'// just kind of be over here CNA: i'm nøt a fancy cøøk, but alchemy was børn in the kitchen, sø i knøw the basics, anyway. CCS: a/right coo/ you have fun with that whi/e i try not to burn anything CNA: *chuckles and uncaptchas søme føødy things tø cøøk up, a prøcess i'm skipping øver because i'm tired sø suffice it tø say that they nøw have føødy things tø gø enjøy with their møvie* CCS: *excellent gotta love those foody things* CNA: *snuggles up with cassy øn the cøuch* CCS: *rewinds the movie a bit to before he'd left and sets it going again* CNA: *settles in with his very very understanding and wønderful friend* CCS: *all that adventuring/nearly dying kind of wore her out... surely Zen wouldn't mind her just kind of, well, sleeping on him* CNA: *as løng as she døesn't mind him sørt øf passing øut øn her cøuch* CCS: *well we've come to an agreement then* CNA: *seems like it, yep* CCS: *excellent. So before the movie is even over, snoozy trollpile ensues and that's the perfect time to segue out of existence for now*